BLIX BOYS. "George Washington Commercial" Written by. Cameron Baker

Transcription

1 BLIX BOYS "George Washington Commercial" Written by Cameron Baker PRODUCTION COMPANY NAME Address Line 1 Address Line 2 City, State Zip code DRAFT NAME MM DD, YYYY

2 ii. SERIES TITLE "Episode Title" CAST CHARACTER NAME 1 CHARACTER NAME 2

3 iii. SERIES TITLE "Episode Title" SETS INTERIORS: PRIMARY LOCATION Secondary Location Secondary Location EXTERIORS: PRIMARY LOCATION Secondary Location PRIMARY LOCATION PRIMARY LOCATION

4 EXT. ORCHARD - DAY A beautiful orchard in the Springtime. We hear the sounds of birds and bees and growth. In the distance we hear a distinct TREE CHOPPING. Oh look! It s WASHINGTON, chopping on a cherry tree. Oh hey. George Washington here. After a long day chopping cherry trees on the farm, I like to sit back with a tall, cool Yuengling lager. We zoom out to reveal a FARMHAND. FARMHAND Uh, Mr. Washington. We don t own any of these trees. In fact, the landowner is coming this way. Cheese it! The LANDOWNER chases George and the Farmhand away waving a classic pitchfork. Shot of a case of Yuengling on a table. A bottle is slammed down in front as the landowner is left to... LANDOWNER (V.O.) Yuengling. America s beer.

5 INT. WASHINGTON HOME - NIGHT George sits by the fireside in his home. Should look identical to the original, main idea. As soon as he begins to speak however, we notice he s rocking wooden teeth. He s saying these words but we can t understand any of it. Oh hey. George Washington. When I m not busy inventing America, I like to sit down with an ice cold Yuengling lager. He picks at his teeth. Shot of a case of Yuengling and a bottle being slammed down in front of it. We still can t understand him. (V.O.) Yuengling. America s beer. 2.

6 INT. WASHINGTON HOME - NIGHT WASHINGTON again by the fireside at his home. This feels identical to the original commercial except something is off. Oh hey. George Washington. When I m not busy inventing America -- George is cut off by the sound of the door creaking open to his right. It s REAL WASHINGTON and his FARMHAND. REAL -- but we haven t taken into account the beaver population. What is going on here? Who are you? Oh shit. George the imposter scrambles around the room. A ruckus breaks out as Real George and his Farmhand attempt to apprehend the imposter. George maybe tackles the imposter out the room, leaving the Farmhand to... Shot of Yuengling case. Bottle is slammed down. FARMHAND (V.O.) Yuengling. America s beer. 3.

7 EXT. RIVERSIDE - DAY It s a beautiful day. The river rushes along as tosses silver dollars over the river with incredible force. His FARMHAND stands nearby in awe, as do a couple of LADIES. Oh hey. George Washington here. When I m not busy demonstrating my tremendous physical strength by throwing silver dollars over the Potamac, I m kicking back with the delicious cold cruiser of my own design, Yuengling lager. George gives the ladies that classic Zardus grin. (CONT D) Watch this one, ladies. George windmills his arm so incredibly fast that he mis times his release point and sends the silver dollar straight into the Farmhand, knocking him out cold. The ladies are shocked! But George gives that Zardus grin to the camera and we... Shot of Yuengling case, bottle is slammed down... (V.O.) Yuengling. America s beer. 4.

8 INT. DANCEHALL - NIGHT A jubilant dance. Extravagant. Super cool. We probably don t have the budget but it could be considerably scaled down to just and maybe two others. Oh hey. George Washington here. When I m not busy busting a move on the dancefloor, I m busy busting a move on my tastebuds, with a tall, cool Yuengling lager. George busts out some sweet dance moves but lands funny. One of the OTHERS tries to help him up. George reacts like Will Ferrell at the end of the Luh vuhs (lovers) sketches where he essentially breaks character to yell a lot. (CONT D) Get off me woman! I m fine. I am FINE. I m George Washington goddammit! Shot of Yuengling case, bottle drops, maybe smashes to pieces this time and... (V.O.) Yuengling. America s bee. Beer. America s beer. 5.

9 INT. IMPORTANT POLITICAL BUILDING - DAY It s the signing of the CONSTITUTION! Several APPROPRIATELY DRESSED DELEGATES are waiting in line as comes barreling through until he s at the head of the line. He picks up a QUILL, dips it in INK and signs the document. Oh hey. George Washington. When I m not busy being the first to sign the Constitution, I m sitting down with an ice cold Yuengling lager. The delegates are not pleased. George however flashes a Zardus grin and we SLOW ZOOM into the grin until... Shot of Yuengling case, bottle slam, maybe a bowl of candy corn in the shot this time and... (V.O.) Yuengling. America s favorite beer. 6.

10 INT. OFFICE - DAY sits in a fancy OFFICE. He s a baus. Oh hey. George Washington here. When I m not busy being unanimously elected as President twice, I m kicking back with the greatest of beers for the greatest of Presidents, Yuengling lager. Shot of a bottle of Yuengling slamming followed by a case being dropped in front of it. (Basically what it usually is but backwards). (V.O.) Yuengling. President s beer. 7.

11 INT. WASHINGTON HOME - BATHROOM - DAY in the bathroom fiddling with his hair. Maybe tossing A LOT of BABY POWDER into it. Oh hey. I m George Washington. When I m not busy not wearing a wig but still powdering my own hair because that s a custom of these times, I m kicking back with a tall, frosty Yuengling lager. Shot of Yuengling case on the table. Bottle slam. (V.O.) Yuengling. Try it as shampoo. 8.

12 EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY A light game of stickball. is up. He cracks a Home Run. Maybe cartoon sound effects or the ball explodes on contact. Oh hey. George Washington here. When I m not busy inventing Baseball, I like to kick back-- A SNOT NOSED KID interrupts. SNOT NOSED KID --hey uh Mr. Washington. Didn t you invent America, not baseball? Scram kid. SNOT NOSED KID But I thought it was America not-- Yo pal. Take a hike! Shot of Yuengling case on a stool. An arm goes to slam the Yuengling bottle down but because the stool is so small, there s no room and he misses, smashing the bottle on the side of the stool. (V.O.) Yuengling. American for beer. 9.

13 10. INT. WASHINGTON HOME - NIGHT sitting by the fireplace once again. Should look like the original. Yo pal. GW here. When I m not busy owning one of the first goldfish in the United States of America, I m sitting down next to the fire and enjoying one of the best beers around. Yuengling lager. Suck em down. Like candy. I love candy. Maybe George eats a bunch of candy corn. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR (O.S.) Cut! Take five. We re on the actual commercial set. A DIRECTOR walks up to George. DIRECTOR George. Georgie boy. What s wrong? You don t think this thing is a bit tired? Historical figure lounging around. Spouting bozo robot facts about his life. Like are we supposed to believe I come back from the front lines and crack open one of these beers. I don t think so. It just isn t realistic. DIRECTOR You got a point. But see the people like you George. They like what you represent. You re the first president. The first! So why don t we go back in there and finish this thing off. Get you back to your actual home and however you actually like to relax. Well I like to relax by the fire with a tall, cool Yuengling lager. George turns to the camera, Zardus smile and we move on to of course... Shot of Yuengling case. Bottle slams in front. (V.O.) Yuengling. The Patriots Beer. Not the football team.