Anatomy of a Premise Line : Full Short Synopsis Example with Notes : Green Gloves

Transcription

1 LOGLINE: A 1960s Irish heavyweight contender, with a terminal illness, fights one last bout to save his family from ruin, knowing the fight will kill him. PREMISE LINE: When Belfast heavyweight contender MICKEY KERRY, obsessed with becoming the Northern Ireland Area Heavyweight champ, is approached by reigning champ BARNEY WILSON for a title fight, Mickey joins with BEN, his manager, to secretly prepare for the fight of his life, hiding the truth of his terminal illness from everyone; while trying to set his wife JANE up in her own business so she and Mickey Jr. won t be homeless when he dies, until Jane discovers Mickey s scheme and kicks him out, turning to a potential suitor, INIS, who is ready to step in and replace Mickey. When Mickey loses the Wilson fight, he is exposed as a liar, and in desperation arranges a winner-take-all bout with his worst nemesis, knowing it will lead to his death he wins the fight, wins back Jane, and saves his family from ruin after buying Jane her dream sandwich shop only to succumb to his illness on Boxing Day, 1967, after spending the best Christmas of his life with his family. Protagonist Focal Relationship #2 Moral Component (Blind Spot/Immoral Effect) Chaos of the middle / Adventure Main Antagonist / Focal Relationship #1 Plot & Momentum / Protagonist Stakes Rise Overall stakes also rise when Mickey and Ben accept offer to fight Wilson. Doom Moment Plot & Momentum / Final Resolution Change / Mickey stops lying and does the right thing Jeff Lyons Page 1 of 6

2 SYNOPSIS: ANCIENT ARENA A boxing match is underway in the style of the first Olympics: naked, brutal, bloody, to the death. MELANKEMOS, The Untouched Boxer, fights a bloody, broken fighter. The broken boxer is unrecognizable. Melankemos benevolently looks down on the broken boxer, who now takes on a recognizable face, MICKEY KERRY. Mickey looks up to Melankemos in fear. He hears the crowd shouting for Melankemos to end it. Melankemos looks down to Mickey silently as if to ask, Ready? Mickey hesitates and then nods, yes. Melankemos smiles, but not malevolently; mercifully, as he raises his fist. The arena grows silent. Only the wind can be heard. Mickey closes his eyes. Melankemos s fist moves rapidly in to strike him. BELFAST, IRELAND 1967 MICKEY KERRY comes to on the mat, waking from being knocked out. He s in a fight with RUFUS BIGALOW, a fight Mickey intends to win. Determined, he gets back up and makes short work of Bigalow, to the crowd s delight. Mickey s wife, JANE, finds it hard to be upbeat about the win; she s tired of the fight game and wants him to quit. During the post-fight party, Jane reminds him of their deal. If after ten years he was not world champ, he would hang up his gloves and they would live a normal life; well, ten years are up. Jane expects him to abide by their agreement. Comment: TEAM CLAUSE Focal Relationship (#1) OPPOSITION CLAUSE Main Antagonist Scene # Jeff Lyons Page 2 of 6

3 After the party, Mickey drives Jane her dream location for a small sandwich shop she wants to open, and she gets very wistful about dreams coming true. They both know the store is beyond their means to buy, but keeping this dream alive helps deflect Jane away from Mickey s fight ambitions, so he doesn t discourage her dreaming, in fact, he makes a strong suggestion she should expect a miracle. Comment: TEAM GOAL CLAUSE Visiting his doctor, Mickey pees red into a cup. His doctor tells him he s got months to live if he keeps fighting; years if he quits and settles down. Mickey knows no one would fight him if they knew he was terminally ill with kidney disease, so he decides to hide the truth from everyone, including Jane and his manager, BEN. He s not sure what to do: fight or give up. When Barney Wilson s team approaches Ben and Mickey about a possible title fight, all bets are off for Mickey ; he makes his choice at last. With his weakening condition, he knows this is his last chance, not just for the title, but also to make enough money to save his family from the poor house. So, he consciously decides to lie to Jane about his job, his health, and the possibility of Wilson. Constricting Event This is also: TEAM GOAL CLAUSE Mickey and Ben secretly begin lining up the players necessary to get a crack at the Northern Ireland Area Heavyweight Champion, Barney Wilson. Comment: TEAM CLAUSE Focal Relationship (#2) 2015 Jeff Lyons Page 3 of 6

4 When Jane finds out Mickey lied about losing his job and his plans to fight, she puts two-andtwo together and confronts him. He s been using the lure of buying a sandwich shop as a way of bribing her not hold his feet to the fire (i.e., their agreement). She loves Mickey, but she s heartbroken at his betrayal. She can t take watching her husband fight for money; she just wants a normal life for her family and she has to think about Mickey, Jr., who worships his dad. So, she kicks him out. Mickey moves in with Ben and hopes she ll come around. Mickey and Ben meet with Wilson s manager, RICKY SMYTH, and a formal deal is struck with the Boxing Union of Ireland for Mickey and Wilson to fight. Mickey knows this will now go public and it will only make matters worse with Jane, but he needs the purse and he wants the title. It s now or never; everything is at stake for everybody losing is not an option. Midpoint Stakes Overall Stakes Rise As Mickey comes close to the Wilson fight, Jane begins a flirtatious friendship with a local cop, INIS (to make Mickey jealous). Inis is two things Mickey isn t: stable and employed. And, he s interested. Jane s heart is with Mickey, but he just can t give her the normal life she craves. And she still has no idea he s dying. Scene #3 Midpoint Stakes Protagonist Stakes Rise Getting sicker, Mickey fights Wilson in Belfast s Ulster Hall. Inis and Jane listen to the fight together on the radio. Mickey is pummeled and nearly killed. It s the worst-case scenario. He loses his dream, and he doesn t make the money. The loss also makes Jane more hopeless Mickey will ever come around. Scene #4 Doom Moment 2015 Jeff Lyons Page 4 of 6

5 As Jane starts to grapple with the possibility that she might have to choose a new life without her husband, Mickey arranges for another fight with his arch nemesis, O Reily. It will be a winner-take-all match; the purse being large enough to solve all of Mickey s problems. He s determined not to go out and leave Jane penniless. Just before the O Reily fight Mickey visits Inis to ask him to watch over his family and to be with them during the radio broadcast. He doesn t want Jane being alone if he should die in the ring. And he knows about Inis s interest. She could do worse than end up with a cop for a husband. Comment: DENOUEMENT CLAUSE Jane listens to the O Reily fight, along with Inis. It s bad. Mickey is going down for the count. She asks Inis to take her to the stadium, where she joins Mickey at ringside. The moment they share shows Inis he was always second fiddle. He leaves at peace with that. Jane s presence gives Mickey the second wind he needs. Mickey tells Jane the truth, he s fighting for her now, not anything else, and that sometimes dreams really do come true, meaning that his dream of having her safe and secure is all he cares about, and that s the real truth. They fall back in love again, right at ringside, and Mickey goes on to pound O Reily into the canvas. Comment: DENOUEMENT CLAUSE Comment: DENOUEMENT CLAUSE Scene # Jeff Lyons Page 5 of 6

6 STORE FRONT CHRISTMAS MORNING Mickey, Ben, and the family are celebrating the Christmas he thought he d only see from heaven. They all stand outside Jane s new sandwich shop admiring the big red ribbon on the front door. KERRY HOUSE BOXING DAY Mickey is bleeding in the sink, calls Ben and asks to go to the hospital. He, Jane, and Ben silently drive to Minneapolis to try to save his life. Mickey watches Jane as he lays in her lap in the backseat. The love that fills the car is palpable. Suddenly he looks out the window to a growing white light. ANCIENT ARENA The ancient arena from the opening scene surrounds him. Melankemos hovers above the broken boxer. The crowd is cheering, but not for blood. The broken boxer looks up with his unrecognizable face. But now, Melankemos is Mickey! Rather than a final blow, Mickey offers his hand. A bloody hand reaches up and grabs his. Mickey smiles and pulls the other boxer up into an ever-brightening light Jeff Lyons Page 6 of 6