COULROPHOBIA. Pia Cook.
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1 COULROPHOBIA by Pia Cook
2 FADE IN: INT. HOTEL - LOBBY - DAY (20s) stands by the front desk. A petite woman with an infectious smile. Lots of confidence in herself, ready to take on the world. She signs a paper. ROSY, the clerk, smiles at her. Mindy beams. ROSY When s your presentation? Tonight at seven. Rosy takes the paper, hands her a key card. ROSY Your room is number four twelve. On the fourth floor. Good luck tonight. Thank you. I m gonna need it. Mindy heads towards the elevators. Big smile on her face. She rounds the corner to the elevator bay. She stops in her tracks. Her smile fades. Waiting for an elevator is...the CLOWN. A female clown with a friendly face. She s not as creepy looking as some clowns. She holds some balloons in one hand. Mindy stares at the clown, hesitates, then approaches. Chris smiles at Mindy. Nice white teeth framed by a friendly mouth. Mindy smiles back. DING! One of the elevator doors slide open. They both step inside. ELEVATOR Chris pushes #6 button on the panel. Mindy pushes #4. The doors glide shut.
3 2. You have a kid party to do? Seven year olds. They like magic and stuff. Chris smiles. She s looks so friendly. Mindy chuckles. When I was a kid I hated clowns. I was terrified of them. Chris turn to chuckle. Me too! Really? They both laugh. CLUNK! The elevator stops. BZZZT! Yeah, that s why I go out of my way to be a friendly clown. Not some creep that scares the shit out of kids. The lights flicker. Dims down. Mindy and Chris look at the floor number display. They ve stopped on number three. Mindy pushes the #4 button a few times. Nothing happens. Oh great. Chris tries the door button, but the doors stay shut. Mindy gives the alarm button a push. Chris looks at Mindy, smiles. This time, the smile is not quite as friendly. More like a leer... You have nice tits.
4 3. Mindy stares at Chris. What did you say? I said, we re gonna have to rely on our wits. Mindy averts her eyes. Uncomfortable. Feels stupid. They stand quiet for a moment. Stare ahead at the doors. BZZZT! I wish the doors would just open. I don t mind taking the stares. The lights flicker. Remains dim. Chris turns to Mindy. Her make-up is slightly different. Not as friendly. Almost sinister. You want to fuck? Mindy does a double take. Not sure she heard right. What? I guess we re stuck. Yeah. I guess so. Mindy takes a step away from Chris. She stabs the #4 button repeatedly. Chris keeps her eyes on the doors. (man s voice) I have a desire to kill. Mindy stares terrified at Chris. Her voice shaky. Wha...what? Chris turns to Mindy. Chris is now a man with hideous makeup. He grins wide. His teeth long, pointy, dirty.
5 4. Maybe it s a fire drill? Mindy s eyes are as wide as can be. BANG! One of the balloons pop. Mindy just about jumps out of her skin. She stifles a scream. Chris laughs. An evil laugh. What s the matter Mindy? How...how do you...know my name? Are you scared of clowns? He laughs again, takes a step closer. Mindy backs up against the wall. She fumbles in her purse, pulls out pepper spray. She aims it at Chris. Get away from me! No, Mindy. Not yet. I m going to eat you first. (snickers) Can you guess what part of you I m going to eat first? He takes another step towards Mindy, reaches out with his hand, runs his finger down her blouse. Mindy pushes the trigger to the pepper spray. Empties the whole canister into Chris face. Chris SCREAMS! His eyes turn a fiery red. Tears gush out. BZZZT! You bitch! The lights come on full bright. CLUNK!
6 5. The elevator moves. Mindy stares at the floor number display. The elevator stops on floor number four. The doors pull open. A family stands outside the elevator. They stare at Mindy as she bolts out the door. I hate fucking clowns! The family looks inside the elevator. The female Chris stands there with the friendly make-up on. The balloons in her hand. The popped one hangs limp. Chris smiles at the family. A sad smile. CU: Chris face. Small tears have been added to the make-up. FADE OUT:
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