FTI Television Scriptwriting Diploma. WEEK 5 Writing visually

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Leona Long
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1 FTI Television Scriptwriting Diploma WEEK 5 Writing visually

2 Where do you start? So now you have your film idea pinned down, you ve worked out the story, refined the structure and honed the plot. We are now ready to divide it into its various scenes Where do we start? First take your story s five key points and assume each one will be a scene of its own. Then decide if you need any extra scenes to enhance these points and add them. You have begun the process of breaking the story into its scenes and writing what is known as the scene breakdown Now add any more you feel you need...

3 The scene content Now you have the general idea for each scene what concerns us now is the detail: What will each scene contain? People/places/props etc.. What will each scene look like? How much will we show? How much will we tell? What is our central character doing? What is the antagonist doing? What is the overall style of the piece? In the detail we will, to a fair degree, work out the shot list: don t go overboard! Some scenes will write themselves, others will need more forethought before we start the writing process. The key input here is your imagination. The output is the screen directions or the action description of the scene breakdown.

4 Writing Visually Let s look at how it will all translate in some detail in a film already scripted, so you can work backwards from there in: THE INDIANS AND THE CAVALRY MEET AT TEN SLEEP CANYON!

5 45. EXT TEN SLEEP CANYON DAY US Battalion 35 under General Leroy CRAMMER moves to the edge of the canyon. CRAMMER is calm, watchful, and alert. He signals. BUCKSKIN, the Indian scout, half Pawnee, moves up to his side, nods across the valley. CRAMMER sees nothing. Listen. BUCKSKIN Faintly, in the distance: hooves: a large number of horses on the move, steadily toward them. The troops wait, horses swishing the flies off with their tails, bridles jingling softly in the wind. BUCKSKIN points, a second before Indians appear on the horizon on the far side of the canyon. First ten, then a hundred, then a thousand Pawnee braves on horseback rush to the very edge of the promontory: dust, horses neighing, a crush of men and horseflesh. CRAMMER waits, wondering if this is a truce or a battle. He raises his arm, signalling to the Pawnee. CHIEF MANAWAN watches the troopers, judges the size of the battalion. His two eldest sons flank him. BUCKSKIN watches CRAMMER. CRAMMER is in no hurry. He waits to see the size of the Indian horde. MANAWAN S sons look to their father, wondering if he will turn back, attack or cross the valley to the white man. MANAWAN raises his arm, returning CRAMMER S greeting. CRAMMER exchanges a glance with BUCKSKIN. The relief on BUCKSKIN S face is very evident. CRAMMER eases his horse forward, down the trail into the valley. BUCKSKIN and Lieutenant DONOVAN follow him over the edge and down the steep trail.

6 The movement of characters who converge on a central point can be extended to two groups to their meeting point in the valley

8 Here s how the sequence is developed

9 Shot 1: low full shot. The group of cavalry men appear over the rim of the hill and stop. They move from right to left. As they stop cut to:

10 Shot 2: low close shot of three cavalry men. An officer, an Indian scout and the commanding officer. They look and wait.

11 Shot 3: Reverse full shot. From behind the group of mounted soldiers we see the other hill. Faint sounds of hooves are heard.

12 Shot 4: Low full shot. Indians appear on the ridge of the hill and stop. They move from left to right.

13 Shot 2: Close shot of three cavalry men. The commanding officer waves his arm.

14 Shot 5: Low Close shot of three Indians. The centre on is the chieftain.

15 Shot 2: Low close shot of the three cavalry men. They wait.

16 Shot 5: Low close shot of the three Indians. The chief raises his arm and then lowers it.

17 Shot 2: Low close shot of the three cavalry men. The Indian scout and the commanding officer move to the left and go out of shot. They begin to descend.

18 Shot 6: Full shot. Both cavalry men (the Indian Scout and the commanding officer) descend to the left and go out of shot. The other soldiers wait at the top of the hill.

19 Shot 5: Low close shot of the three Indians. The chief and his son move to the right and descend out of shot on that side.

20 Shot 7: Full shot. Both Indians descend left to right and pass out of shot. They ride slowly. The other Indians spread out along the top of their hill.

21 Shot 8: Several soldiers on horseback in foreground. Beyond, I the valley, the two cavalry men and the two Indians ride down toward each other. On the hill beyond, the row of Indians watch.

22 Shot 9: Full shot. On the same visual axis as the preceding shot with the row of Indians on top of the hill. The Indian chief and his son ride towards us, descending the slope and passing out of shot below.

23 Shot 10: Medium shot. The Indian scout and the commanding officer enter shot, right, cross the view diagonally, descending to the left and out of shot.

24 Shot 11: Reverse full shot. Both pairs of riders move towards each other.

25 Shot 12: Full shot (side). The two Indians enter left and two cavalry men from the right, converging at the centre of the screen.

26 Shot 13: Close shot of the Indian chief. His face dignified but inscrutable. He waits in silence.

27 Shot 14: Close shot of the commanding officer. He is the first to speak.

28 Shot 13: Close shot of the Indian chief. He replies.

29 Shot 14: Close shot of the commanding officer. He speaks again

30 The details! Obviously we are going into the very detail of the director and the DOP S work here and our job is to simply put what we want to see into paragraphs and that is in itself the writer s shot statement. We don t dictate long, close or mid shot let the nature of the description demand that to see a look on a face demands a close up. To see someone on a horse in the terrain across which they move demands a mid or long shot. As you proceed with your scene breakdown you will make many of these decisions on the run, trust your instincts then review them as you write the scene. The hard questions are: how much should I show? What do I want the audience to know now? Once you have your rough scene breakdown in hand you are ready to get on with the script. If you have done your visualising thoroughly the script will write itself, the dialogue you have imagined to accompany the images will flow naturally if you re stuck go back to the scene breakdown.

ARMIES OF THE 18 TH CENTURY

ARMIES OF THE 18 TH CENTURY I. THE INFANTRY "Napoleon's got a bunch of the toughest, hammered down, ironed out roughnecks you ever saw, from generals down to buck privates. And he just said, "Sic 'em,