EXT. LONDON - BUCKINGHAM PALACE - SERVICE ENTRANCE DAY. A ROYAL GUARDSMAN stands at attention. Proud. Stoic. Immovable.

Transcription

1 FADE IN: EXT. LONDON - BUCKINGHAM PALACE - SERVICE ENTRANCE DAY A stands at attention. Proud. Stoic. Immovable. (V.O.) It started off like any ordinary morning. The EMERGENCY RED PHONE RINGS. The Royal Guardsman picks it up, warily. Hello? (V.O.) But it wasn t ordinary., 42 and completely insane, calls from a red British pay phone. INTERCUT phone conversation Why d the chicken cross the road? What? Who is this? He wanted to get to the other side... Dr. Maniac laughs maniacally. This is a secure line. How did you get this number? You gave it to me. The Royal Guardsman looks at the phone in bewilderment. Suddenly a club BASHES him over the head. He slumps to the ground. Unconscious. A PAIR OF HANDS

2 2. Grab the keys that hang around the Guardsman s waist. (CONT D) Ah, Simon. I always told you not to carry your master key with you. INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE THRONE ROOM DAY ELIZABETH sits on her throne. A runs in, breathless. Delivers a letter to her. NO. 2 Your majesty, I m sorry for the intrusion, but... She opens it. Reads: INSERT - LETTER Words scrawled in blood: YOU HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO LIVE. YOURS ALWAYS, CLOSE - S EYES They focus on the letter, then dart back to Royal Guardsman No.2 who is now revealed as-- Smiling. THREE KILLER NINJAS stand behind him. Hello, Lisbeth. It s been awhile. Dr. Maniac pulls a Laser Pistol from his waist. The Ninjas pull Ninja stars out. Queen Elizabeth dives off the throne. NINJA STARS THUD into the back of the throne. (CONT D) Come on, guys! She hides behind a stone pillar. A LASER BLAST SMASHES above her head. Looks down at the necklace around her neck. Remembering:

3 3. INT. LONDON - KEW GARDENS - LAKE - SUNSET [FLASHBACK ] Queen Elizabeth and Dr. Maniac sit at a park bench. Watching the sun go down. Tourists walk by, unaware the Queen of england sits nearby in disguise. I love you. Then what s the problem. It s your name. I can t possibly be with someone named... Dr. Maniac (stands, walks toward the lake) Tell your mum it s German. (gets down on one knee) Or tell your mum you re getting married. He pulls out a ring. The Queen gasps. ANGLE ON AND DR MANIAC They are being watched by somebody across the lake. BACK TO SCENE The Queen rushes to Dr. Maniac. Kisses him. REVERSE ANGLE Yes, I will marry you. Across the lake the MUM, Elizabeth s mother, watches. She motions to a Royal Guardsman. MUM It s time for Operation Phillip. The Queen backs farther into the corner. Come on, Elizabeth. I just want to talk. END FLASHBACK

4 4. Dr. Maniac fires his Laser Blaster into the wall above the Queen. She speaks into her watch. THRONE ROOM HALLWAY (whispers) He s here. Meet me in the Armory. TRACKING SHOT - CUT TO: Springs past a Gaugin painting. A MACHINE GUN ERUPTS over her head. NINJAS Follow in pursuit. ARMORY The room is filled with ancient suits of armor and primitive war protection. The Queen passes a suit of armor. She thinks. MOMENTS LATER The Ninjas walk past the suit of armor. Dr. Maniac behind them. He stops. Looks around. Is she here? S POV (INSIDE SUIT OF ARMOR) - NINJAS Dr. Maniac appears to stare right at her. BACK TO SCENE Dr. Maniac staring at suit of armor. He knocks at the side of it. Nothing. NEW ANGLE - RAFTERS (to Ninjas) Let s try the gift shop. I need a souvenir. A Soviet Cosmonaut suit hangs in the ceiling of the Armory. A hand opens the face shield.

5 5. It s PRINCE PHILLIP, husband to the Queen. DOWN ANGLE - ELIZABETH As she climbs out of the suit of armor. PHILLIP (O.S.) How long do I have to stay up here? CLOSE ON - S FACE Until I come up with a way to save the world. Again. FADE TO BLACK.