FLESHY THINGS. William Pratt
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1 FLESHY THINGS by William Pratt
2 FADE IN: INT. CORPORATE HIGH-RISE - ACCOUNTS FLOOR - NIGHT A banner - Halloween Spectacular. COSTUMED EMPLOYEES dancing, laughing, drinking. Except for --, 40 s, his work clothes immaculate, posture rigid, head shaven. He s focused intently on ZOMBIE RONNIE, 30 s, who in turns follows VAMPIRE, 30 s, as she slips into-- INT. WOMEN S BATHROOM - NIGHT Jessica is unperturbed by Ronnie s entrance. Someone s gonna see you in here. Ronnie shambles towards her. RONNIE (zombie-like) Need... boobies... God, I m dating a five-year old. RONNIE Whoa, dating? Kinda thought we said keep it casual. Make that a three-year old. Ronnie starts to say something - Jessica cuts him off with a sultry glare, hops up on the sink counter. Just shut up and take off your pants. INT. ACCOUNTS FLOOR - NIGHT LUMBERJACK, 40 s, and FAIRY, 30 s, approach Ned from across the room. Just look at him, he s a walking hallway monitor. I know it was him.
3 2. Then don t let him off the hook. I got this. Amanda grabs his arm, firmly in charge. Do not pussy out. Ned notices them, stands with his arms folded out front like a funeral director. How are we this evening? Doin good, bro. That s a mighty proper introduction. Just the way I was raised. Oh yeah, which test tube? Ned blinks, no reaction. Ned, aren t you like an expert on zombies. Shouldn't you be worried... He follows her gaze - numerous employees in zombie costumes, writhing and grinding about the makeshift dance floor. Those aren t real zombies. Oh, they re not real zombies. Brad snatches something from under Ned s desk -- plunks down a DUFFEL BAG. That s what this is for, right? Zombie survival kit. Please don t touch that.
4 3. Just a peek. We ve all been wondering. (riffles through) Compass. Poncho. What is that... walkie-talkie? Ned yanks the bag away before Brad can finish. Don t you think you take this stuff a little seriously? I regard the potential for an airborne rabies virus with the utmost severity. Given our sanitation standards, there d be no stopping it. People never wash their hands. (increasing discomfort) Always sneezing. Touching. Groping. Transmitting bodily fluids... INT. WOMEN S BATHROOM - NIGHT Jessica MOANS out a ragged breath, legs cinched around Ronnie s waist as he pumps into her. Saliva quivers under Ronnie s lip, his skin deathly pale, sweat pouring down his brow. RONNIE Babe... I don t feel good... (eyes closed) Shut up! Ronnie slows his thrusts, then stops entirely. Hovering over her, motionless, head bowed. Annoyed, Jessica yanks him up by the scalp-- A very real ZOMBIFIED Ronnie CHOMPS DOWN on her face. INT. ACCOUNTS FLOOR - NIGHT You mean like bumpin uglies, Ned? That something you re not a fan of.
5 4. What people do in their personal time is not my concern. What if someone just wanted to have a little fun. Huh? Would you report them to HR. Company policy says... you re not supposed to... Get balls deep in a girl? But have you tried it. Huh, Ned? I... I don t... Hey, I just thought of the perfect costume for you - a Narc. Ned quivers in shame, fists clenched, on the verge of tears. I didn't mean to get anyone in trouble. Brad seems to waver - Amanda gives him a stern look. You need to start dealing with reality, bro. There s no zombie apocalypse coming. Nothing s gonna change. You re always gonna be a sad, pathetic, little freak-- ZOMBIFIED comes out of nowhere and BITES A CHUNK out of Brad s jugular. Blood GUSHES forth -- spatters Amanda s look of frozen -- dapples Ned s blank non-reaction. Dark gunk dribbles down Jessica s chin as she turns towards fresh meat. Ned very calmly begins to sift through his duffle bag. He was wrong about this too. Amanda stares in shock, uncomprehending.
6 5. It s not a walkie-talkie. He yanks out a GLOCK 9MM as Jessica LUNGES-- BOOM! Blood and brains rope ceiling high. SCREAMS from the dance floor -- The Undead suddenly everywhere -- pandemonium. Employees mistake costumed zombies for real ones. Can t see the DARK SHAPES lumbering towards them through the moil. Ned does-- His finger caresses the trigger. The slide DRILLS back. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Zombie skulls ERUPT like grapefruits. He ejects the spent cartridge. Fishes through his kit for a fresh clip. Amanda lets out a YELP. ZOMBIE RONNIE charges from the side-- Ned tries to get his hand around something, anything... Ronnie closes the gap - jaws distended - WHMMFP! - a TAC KNIFE plunges through his forehead. Ned rips the blade out, turns, hurls a bull s-eye into a second zombie. Slams a fresh clip into his 9MM. UNLEASHES FURY-- Bullet RIP through the remaining zombies, limbs fly, baroque patterns spill across the wall. Till there s only the living. Employees walking towards him in a daze. Staring up at their hero, desperate, hopeful. Ned slings the duffle bag over his shoulder. Turns to them. Come with me if you want to live. CUT TO BLACK.
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