EXT. A DIMLY-LIT CORNER OF CAMPUS FADE IN to a dimly-lit night shot of a corner of a university campus. In the distance, a cloaked figure is seen scurrying about a pile of junk. Suddenly, he whirls around in a flourish to face the camera. Oh! Hello! Didn t see you there! Care to examine my wares? I have the finest Humans vs Zombies paraphernalia this side of campus, all scavenged from the four corners of the quad... quickly rummages through the pile and pulls out a large blaster. Behold! Hand-crafted, barely used, combination pump-action blaster and back-scratcher! Only the finest, for the low, low price of-- is cut off as the blaster falls to pieces in his hands. He quickly drops the pieces. Aaahhh... no matter! then grabs a small circle of cardboard. Here! Yes, this! This is a historical relic! One of the most powerful tokens of a great battle between the young Greenhorn and my beloved Queen! (pause) No? Not interested? No matter... let s see... ah! rummages through the pile once more and pulls out a simple foam Nerf dart. This! This too is an important part of our history. This... this is the dart that ended a friendship! (pause) You... you don t know the story? When long ago the Great Necroslayer lost himself? When long ago, (MORE)
CONTINUED: 2. FADE TO BLACK (cont d) comrades in arms took up arms against each other? This, my friend, is too priceless a tale not to know... OPENING CREDITS BEGIN FADE IN to a flashback of a park. A cheerful and PHANTOM throw a frisbee back and forth. Background music: "These Are the Good Times We Once Had." Opening credits continue to roll as flashbacks of and PHANTOM continue, including skipping through a meadow, developing their secret handshake, etc. PHANTOM tries to braid s hair. It s very campy and overly cheery. Opening credits end, fade to black. END SCENE EXT. SHOT: A COURTYARD Human players are marching towards a wide courtyard, blasters in hand. (voiceover) Many years ago, a war was started between the living and the undead. Every other season, the battle was renewed between the two sides, only to cease at weeks end. A horde of zombies come charging towards the courtyard. Montage cuts between the two sides as continues his speech. (voiceover) Then came the First Queen, the most lethal of the zombie forces. It was she who brought the horde it s first of a long line of victories. FOR THE GLORY OF THE HOR--- anyway... Then rose the Necroslayer, the very embodiment of the human resistance. It was the Necroslayer who united (MORE)
CONTINUED: 3. (cont d) the human forces and inspired them to face the zombies head on... The two sides meet, standing totally still on the courtyard. Cut to the human forces. A lone human slowly makes his way to the front, weaving through the line of players, a determined look on their face. They stare the zombies down. Cut to the zombies. The horde suddenly parts like the Red Sea in silence as a lone zombie strides forward with purpose and malice, black war paint adorning her face and eyes. She stares the opposing team down with a cold rage. (voiceover)... as as darkness encroached upon the land, the human squads would unite, the zombie horde would assemble, and a great clash would ensue, with only one victor remaining. The players charge at each other, screaming war cries, firing blasters, etc. Action shots cut between fighting and tracking both THE QUEEN,, and a young. A few random encounters occur. Two random players immediately stop in the middle of the fight to have a petty tag dispute, two old friends run into each other and immediately top fighting to have a pleasant conversation. looks terrified while continues to yell rallying cries at the human forces. THE QUEEN is silent and quite motionless unless she needs to dodge a dart or reach out and grab an unsuspecting human. is suddenly grabbed by his jacket by NECROSLAYER II and dragged behind a barrier to hide. (panting, yelling) You okay, private?! (panting, panicked, yelling) There are too many of them out there, sir! We won t survive this! I also definitely missed a midterm for this, sir!
CONTINUED: 4. Don t give up yet, private! Even if this goes south, you ll make it out alive, I ll see to that! Dunno what to tell you about your midterm though! Sir, yes sir! I am fully prepared to fail intro to biology, sir! claps on the shoulder. Whatever happens today, private. You have proven yourself worthy. Today, you will become--- HUMAN #1 (off-camera screaming) OH MY GOD, EVERYONE IS DEAD! and slowly turn and poke their heads up from the barrier as the camera pans up to reveal an entire courtyard filled with humans taking off their armbands, lying on the ground, etc. The zombies shuffle to the side as THE QUEEN strides through the battlefield, her gaze intent on the barrier concealing the remaining humans. turns back to, pulling him down from the barrier. Whatever happens, stay here. But, but---! Without a word, vaults over the barrier and walks slowly towards the zombies, blaster in hand and at the ready. They begin to open fire on the zombies and are able to dispatch one after the other with ease. CU on THE QUEEN as her eyes drift off camera, as if she s following something. Suddenly is caught off guard as a lone zombie appears at their right side, gripping their arm, smiling smugly. THE QUEEN smiles.
CONTINUED: 5. THE QUEEN Well done, lieutenant. The zombie lets go of, who slowly drops to their knees in shock. THE QUEEN looks down at mockingly, shaking her head slightly. She looks back up as a lone figure with a bright pink armband comes sprinting up to the courtyard. The figure stops, out of breath, but then gathers his composure and drops into a sort of Old West Sherrif demeanor. RULES COP Alright! Well, well done zombie team! With your victory at today s final mission that marks the... hmmm third consecutive zombie win! Better luck next time humans, and uh, be sure to fill out our post-game survey by the end of the week. Great game, guys! The players on the field immediately drop their in-character demeanors as they take off their game bands and resume idle, casual chatter. THE QUEEN remains banded as she kneels down to gloat at. THE QUEEN (venomous, condescending tone) Better luck next time... Slayer. THE QUEEN walks off with the rest of the players, laughing maniacally. Another zombie player next to her with a clipboard joins in. THE QUEEN (distant, off screen) First round of froyo is on me! suddenly drops to the ground and rolls over., knowing the coast is clear, emerges from the barrier and sprints over to s side. (whispering, breathy) Game... over... private. No! No sir! This isn t the end! This can t be the end!
CONTINUED: 6. (breathy, coughing) My time... is up. You... you must lead our people. You must be the one to lead... the human... resistance. But how?! A true Necroslayer... finds their power in the strength of friendship. Find... some friends... build your squad. Lead us... to... victory. Sir...! Can, can I offer you a cough drop or something? I mean it is cold and flu season... (breaks character) Oh no thanks man, I m good, just really milking that dramatic emphasis, y know? (also briefly breaks) Oh yeah of course, totally, keep going. resumes dying. Pause. Private... kneel before your king. (confused) I... I am already kneeling, sir. (breaks character again) Ah, right, right, so you are. (pause to resume character) Private... from this moment on, you will carry the title of Necroslayer. You and your armies will... lead the humans... into a new era of... victory...
CONTINUED: 7. nods. At this point I d recite the Code of the Necroslayer with you to complete your initiation but this grass is pretty damp and I m cold so I ll just email it to you later, alright? NECROSLAYER lays back in the grass, fully relaxed, eyes beginning to close. Now I can graduate in peace... After a brief pause, stands up as they and resume their everyday selves. Well, good game, and good luck leading those human players. They ll definitely need it. nods and begins to walk away. (calls after Centurion) Oh! One last thing! Like, for real. turns around. Just... whatever you do, don t be a douche, alright? (nods, slightly bewildered) Yeah... yeah of course. I mean, easy enough. The two humans part ways. Fade out. END SCENE.
8. EXT. SHOT: THE MU QUAD (voiceover) And so it came to pass that the young Necroslayer had a difficult task before him: while he had the title and an entire human force to command, he lacked... friends.