ALICE IN WONDERLAND THE PANTO BY DAN SMITH & CLAIRE HUGHES

ALICE IN WONDERLAND THE PANTO BY DAN SMITH & CLAIRE HUGHES Extract A SMITH SCRIPT This script is protected by copyright laws. No performance of this script -IN ANY MEDIA may be undertaken without payment of the appropriate fee and obtaining a licence. For further information, please contact SMITH SCRIPTS at info@smithscripts.co.uk

Written by Dan Smith and Claire Hughes

Plot The Queen of Tarts rules over Wonderland with her sister, the Queen of Berries, acting as an adviser. The Queen of Tarts is a cruel and evil ruler and tires of her sister interfering and trying to make her good. She banishes her and her side kick, the Cheshire Cat, after finding out that they have released prisoners and more importantly stolen her jam tarts. The Queen of Berries makes plans to overthrow her sister and make Wonderland a kinder and better place. To do so the Queen of Berries asks the Cheshire Cat to find Alice whom is central to a prophecy regarding the Queen of Tarts demise, it is Alice alone who can rid Wonderland of her. Alice and her Nanny are at home studying when Cheshire spots them. Cheshire also comes across the White Rabbit and convinces him to bring Alice into Wonderland. The rabbit gets distracted and forgets and runs off but Alice is curious and chases after him down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland. After being grown and shrunk Alice is introduced to the Queen of Berries who tells her of the prophecy and there plan to overthrow to the Queen of Tarts. They intend to enter Alice into the Queen of Tarts unbirthday bake off where it has been promised that the winner shall have a single wish granted. They intend for Alice to win and wish for the Queen of Berries to take the thrown. Alice is unsure but is convinced by the caterpillar and the other characters, the Mad Hatter, mouse and March Hare, are persuaded to join them to help the plan go ahead. The Cheshire Cat and Caterpillar also have a top secret plan B should the original plan fail. The Queen of Tarts, however, is convinced her sister is up to something and sets the King of to spy on them and find out what they are up to. The March Hare is captured and forced to reveal the Queen of Berries plan. The Queen of Tarts is worried at the mention of Alice knowing that she is named in the prophecy and sets the King of to find and capture her. The Cheshire Cat learns what the Queen of Tarts has done and all seems lost but the Mad Hatter comes up with a plan to disguise Alice so she can still enter the Bake Off. Alice, Nanny, Mouse, White Rabbit and Caterpillar all enter the unbirthday Bake Off, hosted by Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, whilst Cheshire and the Queen of Berries sneak into the palace through the back.

During the Bake Off Alice overhears the Queen of Tarts laughing that she has no intention of granting the winner a wish and sets plan B into motion. Caterpillar has a secret truth potion which is slips into one of the cakes. The King, a judge in the competition, takes the cake and reveals the Queen of Tarts plan and all of her evil deeds. The Queen of Berries enters with Cheshire and Hatter and demand she steps down now all of her subjects know her true nature. The Queen of Tarts is overthrown after being defeated by Alice and the King reveals his true love is for the Queen of Berries. The King and Queen of Berries marry and good is restored to Wonderland allowing Alice to return home. Characters Alice Principal girl, daydreamer. (Female) Nanny Lou Dame. Alice s Nanny, a larger lady who is midway through reading 50 Shades of Grey before following Alice down into Wonderland. Love interest for Mr Carroll. (Male) Cheshire Cat Audience participation Not from Cheshire at all but an alley cat from Essex whose father was a member of the Cheshire Cat family. He is a friend to the Queen of Berries and helps her defeat the Queen of Tarts by bringing Alice into Wonderland. (Male/Female) Queen of Berries A good Queen whose sister is the Queen of Tart. She seeks Alice out to help defeat the Queen of Tarts and falls in love with her sister s husband, the King of Hearts. (Female) Queen of Tarts Bad Queen and sister to the Queen of Berries. She has overall control over Wonderland and wants to get rid of her sister who doesn t agree with how she rules the kingdom. (Female) King of Tarts Husband to Queen of Tarts and her henchman. He is brow beaten/under the thumb and a nervous character that does Queen of Tarts bidding yet falls in love with Queen of Berries. (Male) White Rabbit Constantly late for things, always running around, a worrier whose keen to please. (Male/Female)

Caterpillar An aviation expert (biggles type character) who longs to be able to fly but can t. (Male/Female) Mad Hatter Very camp, fashionista/vogue type, host of the tea party. He use to style to Queen of Berries but was sent insane by the Queen of Tarts and now runs the Café Wonderful (Male/Female) March Hare Mad Hatter s side kick, key member of the tea party, a tailor who assists Mad Hatter with fashion. (Male/Female) Mouse Guest at Mad Hatter s tea party, one of his close friends, quiet, mocked by Mad Hatter and Hare. (Male/Female) Tweedle Dee/Tweedle Dum Double act who work for the Queen of Tarts and hosts the Bake Off. (Male/Female) Mr Carroll Special effects guy who is a constant through the show and is responsible for anything magical happening (i.e. Alice growing and shrinking), hates his job but helps Alice throughout the show. Love interest for Dame. (Male) Wicked Queen (Snow White) Makes a cameo appearance and is a friend of the Queen of tarts. She joins the Queen for the croquet game and is a guest judge at the bake off. Chorus Villagers, jam tarts, minions of Queen of Tarts, musical numbers

Act 1 Scene 1 - Prologue Scene 2 Alice and Nanny at home Scene 3 Down the rabbit hole Scene 4 Chasing the White Rabbit Scene 5 The White Rabbit s House Scene 6 The Queen of Tarts Palace Scene 7 Meeting the Caterpillar Scene 8 The Mad Hatter s Tea Party Act 2 Scene 9 Tarts and Cheshire Scene 10 Kitchen Scene Scene 11 Croquet Scene Scene 12 Hatter Scene Scene 13 Fanfare Scene 14 The Great Unbirthday Bake Off Scene 15 Audience participation Scene 16 Finale

SUGGESTED SONG LIST Act 1 Song 1 Pure Imagination Willy Wonka / Town Called Malice The Jam (Alice and Chorus) Song 2 - Call Me Maybe Carly Rae Jepson (Nanny Lou) Song 3 Boogie Wonderland Earth, Wind and Fire (Chorus) Song 4 - Don t Rain on My Parade Funny Girl (Alice and Chorus) Song 5 - Killer Queen Queen (Cheshire Cat) Song 6 Bad reputation Joan Jett (Queen of Tarts) Song 7 Come Fly With Me Frank Sinatra (Caterpillar and Chorus) Song 8 - Don t Stop Me Now - Queen (Led by Hatter with Cheshire, Berries, Rabbit, Mouse, Hare, Alice, Nanny and Chorus) Act 2 Song 9 One Way or Another - Blondie (Berries, Alice, Hatter, Cheshire, Mouse, Nanny and Caterpillar) Song 10 Popular - Wicked (Berries, Alice, Hatter, Cheshire, Rabbit, Mouse, Nanny and Caterpillar and Mr.C) Song 11 Let s Get Ready to Rumble Ant and Dec (Dee/Dum and Chorus) Song 12 Black Magic Little Mix (Led by Nanny with Alice, Mouse, Caterpillar, Rabbit and Chorus) Song 13 Your Song - Moulin rouge (King and Berries) Song 14 - I'm so Excited (Whole Cast) Song 15 Time Warp The Rocky Horror Show (Cheshire and Nanny) Song 16 Marry You Bruno Mars / Reprise Boogie Wonderland (Whole Cast)

Act One Scene 1 - Prologue (To be performed in front of curtains.) Enter Cheshire Cat. CHESHIRE: Hello, boys and girls! Welcome to Wonderland! How are you this fine evening? I m known as the Cheshire Cat 'round here, not that I come from Cheshire. I was adopted by the Queen of Berries up at the castle. She s not the boss around here, her sister is, since she s older and bossier. Anyway, she figured it sounded more proper to use my dad s name, Cheshire. I guess it wouldn t do to have an Essex Cat 'round the palace would it? Have you met my Queen? Hold up, here she comes now. Enter Queen of Berries looking flustered. BERRIES: Cheshire, we need to go. Now! CHESHIRE: What? Why? What you done now? BERRIES: It s not me! My vile, evil sister had five of her servants in prison awaiting execution, all because they planted white roses instead of red! The poor things were so terrified; I spotted them attempting to paint them! Anyway, I ve just set them free, told them to run as far as they can. With her gigantic behind, and the way she waddles, she ll never catch them. But she s about to catch us! CHESHIRE: But I haven't done anything! You always get me into trouble! I can t just run off though, I ve been chatting to these lovely people. (Gestures to the audience.) BERRIES: Oh, hello. How do you do? I m the Queen of Berries; sorry we can t stay and chat, we really must dash before Enter Queen of Tarts How dare you! BERRIES: Sister, dear, I didn t realise you were here, can I get you Don t play dumb with me; you let all those prisoners free! And you let the flamingos run off!

BERRIES: But you were going to use them for croquet! The poor dears were frightened! Too right I was, now all I have to use is umbrellas, how ridiculous will that look?! BERRIES: Oh, but you must try to be kind, sister. How else will the people respect or love you? Ha! I don t want their love or respect. I want people to lose their heads! They should fear me! CHESHIRE: (To audience) You ain t scared of her though, are you, boys and girls? What? Oh this horrible lot? (To audience) Ugh, you re all pretty disgusting, aren t you? Look at the great spot on his head! You re all just the type of awful rabble we get here in Wonderland. You need taking down a peg or two. You may not fear me now, but you will! Hahaha! CHESHIRE: Leave them alone, would you? They ve only just got here. Oh, be quiet, you mangy alley cat! CHESHIRE: You what?! Cheshire goes for Tarts, Berries stands between them. BERRIES: Enough! The pair of you! Please sister, I was only doing what I thought right. Yes, well, what you thought was right has gotten the pair of you uninvited to my unbirthday party. CHESHIRE: I m gutted. Yes, well you should be! It promises to be the best one for days! My dear Harry even said he may drop in. CHESHIRE: Harry? Harry Styles, you idiot. But he can t remember which direction to go, and don t think I have forgotten what you drew on my poster; it took weeks to remove that thing from his head! BERRIES: Oh please sister, we would really love to be there, let s not fall out over this.

You re always interfering, you insufferable dogooder, but maybe maybe, I can overlook your indiscretions for my unbirthday. Enter one of Tarts' servants. What is it? Servant whispers something to Tarts. SHE DID WHAT?!(Exit servant.) BERRIES: Uh oh. You stole my jam tarts! YOU STOLE MY JAM TARTS! That s it. I have had it! Daddy may have called you a Queen, but I am the eldest, I am the boss, and I rule Wonderland! You stick that huge nose of yours in where it s not wanted; wanting me to be kind and lovey-dovey, and now you steal my jam tarts! I have had enough; you are hereby banished from the palace and exiled to the darkest woods of Wonderland! BERRIES: But sister I I don t want to hear it! When I return, you shall both be gone! (To audience) And you dreadful lot can go with them! Exit Tarts. BERRIES: Oh, Cheshire, what shall we do? CHESHIRE: I don t know, my Queen, but it looks like we re out on our ear! BERRIES: We need to do something; she cannot carry on her evil ways like this. It s time for the prophecy, it must come true soon or else we will all be doomed! We need Alice and we need her now. Cheshire, you find her and meet me at the White Rabbit s house - the one two turns short of the rabbit hole - you know the one. CHESHIRE: But my lady, I don t know where Alice is? How do I BERRIES: Just do it, Cheshire. Find her! Exit Berries. CHESHIRE: How the hell am I suppose to find her? I don t even know an Alice! Oh dear, oh dear! Boys and girls, I m going to need your help. Will you help me find

Alice? You will? Thank you so much! Right, I guess I should be on my way then, see you soon! Scene 2 Alice and Nanny at home Chorus come on in small groups, people are leaving work and school, Alice enters with friends chatting and laughing. SUGGESTED SONG Song 1 Pure Imagination Willy Wonka / Town Called Malice The Jam (Alice and Chorus) ALICE! Oh no. What on earth on you doing prancing about?! Chorus slowly disperse leaving just Alice and Nanny on stage. I was just Just nothing, you were messing about, as usual! Always larking about and daydreaming. Oh, but Nanny Lou, I was just trying to have some fun. Well, fun time is over. We have studying to do. We are continuing with Pride and Prejudice this afternoon. Boring. Now come on, let s get on! Nanny and Alice find a spot to sit down and read. We re getting to a good bit now, my girl. It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting "Cathy" and...

Nanny notices Alice seems to have fallen asleep so whips out 50 Shades of Grey and continues. I still want more," I whisper. "I know," he says. "I'll try." I blink up at him, and he relinquishes my hand and pulls at my chin, releasing my trapped lip. "For you, Anastasia, I will try... Nanny notices Alice is waking up so switches back to Pride and Prejudice and finishes the actual sentence. banging your head against a tree. Nanny looks slightly flustered at the quote. Nanny, do you believe in dreams? Nanny, still looking at the book. I do now, dear. I want something exciting to happen in my life. Everything's so dull. Cheshire enters front stage left. CHESHIRE: Alright, boys and girls! What? Not even a cheer? We need to sort that out! Let s give it a try (encourages audience to cheer); that ll do. I m here looking for Alice, the Queen s adamant I get her to Wonderland. You haven t seen her, have you? Behind me? Ah brilliant! Well done, guys! I ve just got to figure out how to get her to Wonderland. White Rabbit enters. Oh, I m late, late! CHESHIRE: What s up rabbit, what you doing? Well, I thought I would pop out for some ingredients for my cake, but I can t find anything, and now I m going to be late! CHESHIRE: Oh rabbit, you re always running late. But anyway, you re fine. The Queen will be alright at your house, won t she? We ve got to get Alice to her before we can get started, anyway. Yes, yes. I guess you're right. But, you know, I can t handle being rushed, Cheshire. I m in all of a

bother; this prophecy, Alice, get rid of the Queen of Tarts conspiracy is all a bit much for my nerves. Have you found her, Alice? CHESHIRE: Yes, she s over there. Brilliant, who s that with her? CHESHIRE: I don't know who she is but I know what she's done. Really? What was that? CHESHIRE: She ate all the pies. Oh, really! So, how are you getting her to Wonderland? CHESHIRE: Well, you want some carrots for your cake, which are conveniently growing right there in their garden. So you grab what you need, get Alice s attention, and get her to follow you back to your house. Simple. I d take the rabbit hole route, quicker than the M6. Don t take too long, see you back at yours! Cheshire exits. But Cheshire! Oh that wretched cat. This was his job, not mine! Where'd he go? Oh dear, I'm late! I'm late! Alice looks up and sees the White Rabbit. Hello there! Yes, hello, hello. Are you ok? I'm late! I've got to find carrots and get back and oh, it s all too much! Well, can I help? Does this look like some sort of Saturday night Takeaway where you find 10 carrots in 30 seconds? I'm fine, thank you. Well, I'm sorry. Alice, what are you doing?

Sorry, Nanny. I'm just apologising to my rabbit. Oh? That's nice, dear. Err... oh. Hello. Yes, yes, hello. Right, I need to go, I'm late. White Rabbit runs off front stage right. Well, how rude! Alice watches where the Rabbit goes and begins to follow. Where are you going? For an adventure! But Alice dear, you can't go on your own. You need protecting from your rabbit. Well, come on then. Alice gets to the rabbit hole and jumps straight in. Nanny gets there and gets stuck with her bottom facing the audience. The Cheshire Cat appears on the other side of the stage, laughing. Makes a long joke about kicking the bottom into the hole and just as he kicks it, the lights go out.)