WAKAKickball WORLD ADULT KICKBALL ASSOCIATION Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends.

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GMOT Summer 2011

CO Mile High Division Newsletter Summer 2011 WAKAKickball WORLD ADULT KICKBALL ASSOCIATION Best Parties. Best Games. Best Friends. 1st Edition Editor s Notes Message from Shane The Rules Social Calendar 2 2 3 3 Hello and welcome to another fun-filled season of WAKA kickball in Denver! For those new to the league, my name is Hallie and I play for Your Mom. I had a brief affair with Tiger Blood this spring, but am now back with my one true love, the lady in gr...gray? It s kind of white, kind of cloudy. I feel like I ve seen that color somewhere before... Moving on! Safety became a big concern in the spring leagues, so please be careful out there. Standing in the middle of a plate or in the baseline can be hazardous to your health. Oh and always call the ball or your teammate might end up having knee surgery (get well soon, KDodd). Player Spotlight Ask the Infielder Team Reports Summer Schedule 3 4 5-6 7 Please familiarize yourselves with the rules (http://www. kickball.com/rules) so hopefully we can minimize the verbal collisions as well. Lastly, as I say every season, this is YOUR newsletter. If you would like to see your pictures or your name in the GMOT, please let us know. If you do not want your picture in the newsletter, let us know and/or avoid strangers with cameras. See you on the field! Mustang Hallie Message from Shane Questions/comments/hate mail? Contact me: yourmomplayskickball@ gmail.com VOLUNTEERS for our SOCIAL COMMITTEE: I heard from a few of you but we still need a couple of awesome individuals who would like to help plan the parties and themes this season. Copious amounts of libations will be provided during the season to those that want to help make this league more awesome than Charlie Sheen s cauldron of awesomeness!! WINNING!

The Rules Rep Player Spotlight KICKING 9.01 All kicks must be made by foot or leg, below the knee (see Rule 13.02e). Any ball touched by the foot or leg below the knee is a kick. Shane Jernigan STU GATZ 9.02 All kicks must occur: a. at or behind home plate. The kicker may step on home plate to kick, however no part of the planted foot may be in front of or cross the front edge of the home plate (see Rule 13.02g). b. within the kicking box (see Rule 1.01g). The kicker must have at least a portion of the plant foot within the kicking box during the kick (see Rule 13.02g). The kicker may line up outside of the kicking box. 9.03 Bunting is allowed. Social Calendar June 25th - Kegball at Wash Park www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=22816 6283862876&view=wall&notif_t=event_wall July 23rd - Flip Cup Fundraiser http://denverflipcup.com July 23rd - Flipcup alooza http://flipcupalooza.com August 13th - Crawl for Cancer http://www.crawlforcancer.org/denver August 27th - Great Urban Race www.greaturbanrace.com/event_denver.php August 27th - Oyster Race http://oysterracingseries.com/denver.php Nickname: Shane Dogmillionaire Hometown: St. Louis Park, MN Zodiac Sign: Gemini Favorite Drink: Gin & Tonic- DO IT! Favorite Hangout: Still too new to Denver for a hangout but I do love all the brew pubs and The Rex Lounge (shameless plug I know!) Favorite Position: 1st Base I moved up here last summer from Florida where I had the privilege to find WAKA and played 10 fun filled seasons of kickball. I was eager to lend a hand and my experience to the league here once I arrived. When the opening presented itself this February I couldn t help but be first in line. Hopefully I ve taken WAKA up a notch in my brief tenure as CSR and I look forward to making this league the best in Denver. Keep the comments and suggestions coming!! In my free time I try to fine tune my guitar playing skills without pissing off the neighbors, love to play some Texas Hold Em, enjoy the occasional cigar, and see every band I can at Red Rocks and the Ogden. I also enjoy long walks on the beach and romance novels, but not really. What makes a great kickball team? A team that shows up every week and has fun no matter what the score is. A team that can throw down together during flip cup and has a group brunch on Sundays. This game isn t about winning. It s about reminding yourself how much fun you used to have when you were a kid and getting back to that special place at least one day a week. One ball, one love!

Ask the Infielder The Infielder is a best-selling author, grammy award winning songwriter and critically acclaimed parallel parker. His latest book, You Should Have Seen These Cans, is a 722 page narrative about his third grade teacher s breasts. It is currently in its sixth printing and has received stellar reviews. Matt Lauer described it as Absolutely @#*&ing perfect. The Infielder lives in Denver and has once again agreed to share his advice to our readers. Submit your questions to asktheinfielder@gmail.com. Dear Infielder, I don t understand why everyone is so upset. I told everybody that I was done playing flip cup, poured myself another beer from the pitcher and left. There s plenty of beer on the table! What gives? Thirsty Dear Thirsty, Dude. No. The pitchers on the flip cup table are for the athletes competing, not the dorks walking away. Don t let it happen again. I m also going to give you some free advice on how to play that game better: you are allowed to use both hands. You re welcome. Infielder Dear Infielder, I m new to Denver and am playing kickball this summer. Do you have any tips on how to maximize my summer enjoyment? New Transplant Transplant, It seems I get this question every year. First, you sound like a total dork when you say maximize my summer enjoyment. Don t do that anymore. Next, learn the rules of kickball. I know how it sounds, but there are actual rules. You don t want to be that turd that complains about the strike zone on every pitch. Also, drink competitively. The socializing that occurs around a drinking game is unparalleled. Your nerdy phrasing leads me to believe you are not a hot chick, so I ll offer this additional gem: the time for quoting Charlie Sheen has passed. It was fun while it lasted, but you re going to have to stop. If you are a hot chick, say what you want. Infielder

Team Reports Ballstar Kicklactica With pitching grace and pulverizing force, (black) Ballstar Kicklactica easily destroyed Your Balls (blue, LOL). Highlights of the 5-0 scoring, Black and Blue contest, 1st week game were occasional violations of the 1st-3rd diagonal line, an almost single-person mid-air twinkle-toes double-play, humorous illegal sideline throw-ins by ineligible players for attempted outs and a 3-run home run. All in all, a great way to kick the season off Cheers! The Bayside High Tigers are off to a strong start. Even though we had to give up our 10 time all star Son the ladies man Nguyen to the other team because they didn t have enough players, we were still able to put together a 10-1 victory. BHT s were a little disappointed that the post game festivities weren t at the Max like old times, but we ll try and make the best of it. No Big Deal For us, our loss was No Big Deal. We tried our best but seriously yo, from our opposing team those Pitches Be Crazy. With a devastating 3rd inning at hand the captain realized her faults and after a little disorganized organization we got our minds right and our acts together. With this new focus we prevented PBC from making the score gap that much larger. Though our efforts did not yield us a come back. It showed us who we are as a team. A team which refuses to back down when things look grim. A team filled with eager, capable and talented athletes ready to show the rest of the league how big of deal we really are. Note: Thank you, to Pe from dirtyragz.com for the use of your logos...again.

Your Mom, The 2010 Best Overall Team in the world, made their triumphant return to the kickball grounds. There are a few new faces, but the overall mission remains the same. Captain Emily EZ Eeee Berman s small entourage of kickball elites have set out to make the world a better place through kickball excellence. For example, Your Mom finally brought peace to the Dakotas by merely making a kicking motion while a telemarketer tried to sign them up for the Denver Post. It has also been widely rumored that each of the members of Your Mom possesses a unique superpower. The rumors seem to be true as one of the powers was revealed this week. Your Mom roared onto the field to take on Balls Deep. Jeff Four Loko means I can t feel my teeth in Spanish Evans piloted the team from the pitcher s mound err rubbery, white thingy. Jeff revealed to the world his ability to strike people out with his mind. His mind! Captain Berman appears to have been concealing her team s secrets all of this time. This could mean that all of the talk in previous years about substance abuse could have just been a clever superpower possessed by one of the team s members. After a handy 10-4 victory for Your Mom over their opponents, the masters of the rubber ball teleported over to Rex s where they dominated foes on the flip cup table. Having foregone any sort of dinner, one of the members of Your Mom may or may not have fallen asleep in the back of a cab after doling out drinking lessons to others. I m not sure if that s a super power or not. But, probably not. This season we are partying at:

Summer Schedule Week 2 Jun 09 Week 3 Jun 16 Week 4 Jun 23 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A PBC YBAF YM Team A NBD PTF YBAF Team A LTL PBC YM Team B KIT RBD TB Team B MK MS TB Team B BK MK SG Refs NBD PTF AD Refs RBD PBC TWSS Refs PTF NBD RBD 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A NBD PTF AD Team A RBD PBC TWSS Team A PTF NBD RBD Team B LTL BHT SG Team B AD LTL SG Team B HB MS TWSS Refs MK MS RAL Refs PTF YBAF TB Refs KIT YM PBC 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A MS HB TWSS Team A RAL HB KIT Team A KIT YBAF TB Team B MK BK RAL Team B BK BHT YM Team B BHT RAL AD Refs LTL BHT SG Refs AD LTL SG Refs HB MS TWSS Week 5 Jun 30 Week 6 Jul 07 Week 7 Jul 14 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A KIT PTF AD Team A TB PTF YBAF Team A MS NBD YM Team B HB NBD RAL Team B TWSS KIT SG Team B BHT BK TWSS Refs PBC MK YBAF Refs YM MK RBD Refs MK LTL TB 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A PBC MK YBAF Team A YM MK RBD Team A MK LTL TB Team B MS BK TWSS Team B AD BHT RAL Team B HB KIT RAL Refs TB RAL LTL Refs KIT BK SG Refs NBD BHT TWSS 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A TB LTL YM Team A PBC LTL MS Team A PTF RBD YBAF Team B SG BHT RBD Team B NBD HB BK Team B PBC SG AD Refs MS BK TWSS Refs AD BHT RAL Refs HB KIT RAL Week 8 Jul 21 6:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A LTL BHT MS Team B AD RBD RAL Refs SG BK NBD 7:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A SG BK NBD Team B HB PTF TB Refs YBAF AD YM 8:00PM Field 1 Field 2 Field 3 Team A TWSS PBC MK Team B KIT YBAF YM Refs HB PTF TB Playoffs - July 28th & August 4th