Evildoer: Do or Die By Erin Sparkes and Melayna Ross Emma Burnet, Talan Fortin, and Taylor Bilodau s creative efforts
Cast of Characters Emma: Talan: Taylor: Kenny Katchy The Gambler Ice Queen
ACT I Scene 1 Scene opens to the set of a game show. KENNY is center stage behind his podium. GAME MUSIC INTRO Goooood evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to another exciting episode of Evildoer: Do or Die. Give me a hand in welcoming our final contestants in this season s Tournament of Champions. APPLAUSE First up: she s a young lady with a heart of ice. You all know know her infamous garden of ice sculptures, consisting of your near and dear. She s been freezing our hearts for three years and is last season s champion. Give a chilly reception to our Icelandic regent, Ice Queen! APPLAUSE ICE QUEEN makes a dramatic entrance and takes her place on stage. Next up: Two years ago this villain wowed us with their incredible, awesome, fearsome; well, I don t need to remind you. This villain needs no introduction- (looks off stage) what? Because they are not here. Well, then, on to our final contestant. This dastardly young man got an early start in the villainous community. Starting at the age of four he discovered just how lucky he was. He has spent the last 18 years switching lottery tickets. Please welcome Boston s exile, The Gambler! THE GAMBLER enters holding his Magic 8 ball. APPLAUSE Welcome back to the both of you. It s good to be back where I belong, reclaiming my crown.
CONTINUED: 2. Thank you, Kenny, I m feeling lucky. You ll need all the luck you can get. And it still won t be enough. I sense tension, I like it. But save that animosity for later. Let s move on to our first segment. You know their powers, you know their exploits, but how well do you really know them? Better yet, how well do they really know each other? Let s find out! It s time for: Keep Them Closer! APPLAUSE To determine who goes first we will flip a coin. Ladies call first. Wait, that s not fair. This is a game of chance, that s his specialty. If this little coin flip is enough to unhinge you, then I ve got nothing to worry about. Fine, then. Heads, because I like to see them roll. Tails! KENNY flips coin. What luck. (sarcastic) What did I tell you. Not that it s the worst he s ever done. Okay Gambler, your first question. What is the most evil crime that Ice Queen has ever committed? Her garden of ice? BUZZER
CONTINUED: 3. Oooooh, BAD LUCK! The correct response was turning the Eiffel Tower and everyone inside into a solid block of ice. Gambler, you lose 20 points. Not off to a good start. KENNY flips score chart Ice Queen, how will you fair with the same question? The Gambler loaded the dice and got George W. Bush elected. Twice. BELL Correct! I don t think the world will ever forget that one. 10 points to your score. Gambler, let s see if you fair better with Ice Queen s greatest fear? Saunas? BUZZER That is incorrect. Ice Queen, please provide the correct answer. Octopus. They just give me the heebie jeebies. Bleh. Really? Octopus? How on Earth was I supposed to get that? Why don t you chill out while Ice Queen tries her luck at guessing your greatest fear. Four leaf clovers. BELL Correct! Lucky guess.
CONTINUED: 4. Now now, don t be a sore loser. Adjusts score. As of the end of the first segment, The Gambler is in the hole 40 points and Ice Queen leads with 20. Let s keep things moving along. It s time to see who s dressed the best in: Sinister Style! APPLAUSE Audience: this segment is in your hands. Our contestants will sashay down the runway, and all you have to do is applaud, cheer, stomp, yell, for whoever you think has the most sinister style. Please hold your applause until both contestants have had a chance to show off. The winner of this segment will win 50 points. Gambler, you are in last place so you may strut your stuff first. GAMBLER walks around, shows off costume, goes back to place on stage. Ice Queen, if you would. ICE QUEEN does the same. KENNY improvs this part. Apply score to whoever audience chooses. Let s see who has stacked their deck with historical villainy! It s time for: Felony Facts! Located in front of each contestant is a button! I will ask a series of questions about the villains that came before us, um, I mean you, and if you know the answer, press the big red button. If you guess correctly you will gain 20 points. If you are wrong, you will lose the same amount. Are you ready? Let s begin. First question: Who was the first recorded villain? ICE QUEEN hits buzzer quickly. Stick Man! BUZZER
CONTINUED: 5. Moron. Everyone knows it was Rock Man. There s never been any official proof of Stick Man. He s just a myth. The Gambler is correct. However, that is not the way we work around here. -20 from Ice Queen, Gambler gets nothing but the status of a know-it-all. I should get something for that. I can dock points for interrupting the show, if you d like. Complaint withdrawn. Back on track: Which villain was responsible for turning Niagara Falls into a soda fountain in 1985? ICE QUEEN accidentally hits buzzer I didn t mean to do that! You do the crime, you do the time. That s so easy. Uhm, ah. I- uh. It waaaaaass... It s so easy, I know this one. Everyone knows this one. It... was... theeee... Time s up! It was- What did I tell you about interrupting. Yeah.
CONTINUED: 6. The same applies to you. -20. Final question: What ability is most common among villains? GAMBLER buzzes. Organization! HA! BELL Know-it-all. Gambler, 20 points to you. That round certainly closed the gap! Now, don t touch that dial! Trust me, you ll want to see how this one ends. KENNY, GAMBLER and ICE QUEEN all head back stage for makeup touch up while a commercial plays on stage. When it s done they take their positions and get ready. Count to three. Go. Welcome back. Now it s time for everyone s favorite game, Truth or Disqualify! There is only one rule, answer whatever question you re asked with complete honesty, or you are disqualified. The contestants will play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who has to answer the question first. Go ahead. DICE! GAMBLER and ICE QUEEN meet center stage. Gambler chooses Dice and Ice Queen chooses Ice. ICE! Neither of those are options. Try again. MAGIC 8! SNOW FLAKE! Come on, it s a children s game. Last try, or I ll disqualify you both.
CONTINUED: 7. PAPER! ROCK! Nooo. That s not even fair. If this was an ice skating competition, that wouldn t be fair. This was a kid s game. You rigged that one like you rig all important games of chance that I play! What is your problem? I don t have to tell you. You re right, you don t have to answer that. That will, however, disqualify you. What? The Gambler won Rock, Paper, Scissors, so he gets to ask the first question. I don t want that to be my question. You asked the question, no take-backsies. So, Ice Queen, what is you problem? I had a winning lottery ticket until HE switched the numbers on me! The legal playing age is 19, aren t you a little young? I m a VILLAIN!
CONTINUED: 8. I always switch the numbers when a minor has a winning ticket. Being a good Samaritan and what not. I hate kids. I could have won! You cost me 45 million dollars! You owe me 45 million dollars! I m not giving you anything. I m not a nice person. That s why I intend to beat you. We re getting a bit off track here. Why do you always have to be so difficult? Excellent! Back on track! That s not what I wanted to ask! I wanted to ask- Never mind, you have asked your question. Gambler, answer or be disqualified. Because I m. A. VILLAIN. Your answer is inadequate. What is the deeper reason. I m a younger bother, it comes naturally. I didn t know you had an older sibling? I don t anymore. I killed him. Good for you. 20 points to each of you. And with that we move on to the final, deciding round. The one everyone s been waiting for: Dastardly Demonstration! Where our finalists give us a live demonstration of the devastating effects of their powers. Gambler, you re up first.
CONTINUED: 9. Tonight I will be using my Magic 8 Ball to suck all of the luck out of Las Vegas. GAMBLER shakes ball dramatically, makes a show of it. Rolls his dice to determine length of bad luck. KENNY is getting information to ear piece. I m getting an terrific out pour of news. It seems that Las Vegas is falling to ruins. People are feeling like their lives depends on it. It might very well. I don t think that Las Vegas will ever recover from this one. Well done, Gambler! APPLAUSE Next, Ice Queen. Please come center stage. ICE QUEEN aproaches. I am going to need a volunteer from the audience. Is there anyone out there who would like a spot of honor in Ice Queen s garden? Oh, I don t plan to keep them. I m going to drop their temperature so low that they shatter. The pieces will be hurled towards the audiance, freezing them all on the spot. They will be the first members of my Ice Ampitheater. Any volunteers? No? Since she can t display her powers, I guess she forfits. I can freeze one of you two. That won t be nessesary. We will let our off stage judges decide. The winner of this round gets 50 points. As this is a special season of Evildoers: Do or Die, the winner will recieve a complete evil lair home make (MORE)
CONTINUED: 10. (cont d) over along with all of our studio audience as their new minions. The runner up will be exterminated. Our judges have made their decision. It seems that with the final points being added we have a tie. As we are out of time and there is no tie breaking round, I WIN. ICE QUEEN and GAMBLER protest. Thank you all for this great honor. I am thrilled. ICE QUEEN and GAMBLER start to threaten. SECURITY! Take those losers to be exterminated. Security guards walk on stage and lights go out.