Disappointment DATE: SOCIAL SKILL OBJECTIVE: Since things do not always go the way we plan, we need to handle disappointment well. Students will learn the importance of having a good attitude. Instructors will use one or more of the following activities. MATERIALS: glass partially filled with colored water BOOKS: Let s Talk About Feeling Disappointed by Joy Berry; Ellwood s Plans by Mark A. Hicks ASCA NATIONAL STANDARDS: A:A1.1, A:A1.2, A:A1.3, A:A1.4, A:A1.5, A:B1.1, C:A2.7, PS:A1.5, PS:B1.4, PS:B1.5, PS:C1.10, PS:C1.11 SOCIAL TIMES: Handling Disappointment Volume 2, Number 1, p. 2 by Kari Dunn Buron SOCIAL SKILLS EXPECTATIONS: When discussing specific behaviors that impact relationships, ask: Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How in relation to behaviors. ACTIVITY 1: Instructors will fill a glass halfway with colored water, asking the students to say whether the glass is half-empty or half-full. Their attitude, or perspective, can be either halfempty (negative attitude) or half-full (positive attitude) and can influence the way they see many things throughout their lives. ACTIVITY 2: Stuff Happens Students will share disappointing situations and how they handled them. Instructors will then share the following steps to help them handle disappointment in the future. 1. Everyone has times when things don t turn out the way they want. 2. Accept the situation. 3. Give yourself the gift of time to process your disappointment. 4. Move on. Do an activity you enjoy. ACTIVITY 3: Students will listen and respond to Disappointed Dave. ACTIVITY 4: Students will listen and respond to Dejected Daisy. GAME: Left Out
ACTIVITY 3: Disappointed Dave by Sarah Oliver Dave s soccer team was the best in the whole city! He was very proud of their winning streak. His fourth grade soccer team had not lost a game in eight weeks! There were only two games left, and then they could advance to the play-offs, where they would square off with teams from other areas of the county. He and his teammates were sure they were going to win. They were so sure that when they arrived at the next practice, they kept goofing off. The coach told them over and over, Get your head in the game, but Dave was too busy laughing at his friend Collin, who had decided to see if he could balance his water bottle on his head. He couldn t, and it went crashing to the ground with a thud. Dave raced over to the bench to grab his water bottle and see if he could balance his on his head. Soon, all his teammates were trying it, too. Their coach was exasperated and threw up his hands. Boys, you need to concentrate! There is a very big game on Saturday! Reluctantly, they put their water bottles back down and joined the practice, but none of them were giving their all. Coach, said Luke, why do we need to practice today? We are ahead in wins! Boys, listen up, the coach began, Yes, you are ahead, but if you get too comfortable and don t give it your all, you could lose this game and then you are out of the play-offs. The boys heard him, but didn t really listen. They were all convinced no one could beat them. Unfortunately, when Saturday rolled around, no one was ready for the game. No one had their head in the game. So when the opposing team s star player kicked the ball all the way down the field and into the goal, everyone was shocked. They all looked at each other. This team was really good! They were in trouble. As the game dragged on, Dave and his teammates became more and more upset. They were getting clobbered and their dream of winning the big game went up in smoke. When the game finally ended, the boys shuffled off the field feeling completely defeated. When the coach told them to turn back around and go shake hands with the winning team, all but Dave did. He refused. Instead, he kicked the bench and hurt his foot. Dave, quit hopping and get out there and be a good sport. NO! Dave yelled and without thinking, he kicked the bench again with the same foot. As he hopped up and down, his foot throbbing, he glared at the coach before plopping down on the ground in protest.
By this time his teammates had walked back over to the coach, their heads hanging low. Collin looked like he might start to cry. The coach talked to them as they sat in a circle on the ground about the importance of being a good sport and handling disappointments. You will experience disappointments in your life, he began, but how you handle them is what will define you as a person. He was looking straight at Dave. Dave felt his cheeks redden. He had acted pretty immaturely. And it was their own fault for losing. Because they were acting like such big shots, they didn t give it their all. Feeling bad, he realized there was only one thing he could do to correct his behavior. He slowly stood up and looked across the field at the winning team. They were gathering their belongings and getting ready to head out. Gathering his courage, he sprinted across the field, hollering back at his coach that he would be right back. When he reached the other side, he walked up to the first kid he saw and stuck out his hand. The other boy took it and Dave said, Good game. Dave smiled. He was already feeling better. How could Dave have handled the disappointment better? What about his friend Collin? Has there ever been a time you felt so disappointed that you got mad and refused to do what was right?
ACTIVITY 4 Dejected Daisy by Sarah Oliver Daisy was a wonderful student. She loved reading, math and science, but her favorite subject was spelling. She spelled a lot. She spelled out loud. She spelled in her head. She loved watching letters fall into place and form words. The next day was the annual spelling bee, and she was just sure she was going to win again. Each year her school held the event, and for the last three years, she had been the winner. Daisy liked to win. In fact, she was very successful in almost everything she did. She shared that with her classmates all the time. I got 100% on my test! or I won the race again! or Wow, I won another blue ribbon at the pie eating contest! Sometimes her mom would say, Daisy, you need to stop bragging, but Daisy didn t think she was bragging. She was just stating the facts. One day her mom said, Daisy, I am very proud of you for all your accomplishments, but you need to remember that sometimes others win, too. It s not nice to brag about yourself all the time. Daisy responded, Pshh! Mom, no one can beat me! The next morning Daisy readied herself for school. She dressed in her favorite pink dress and her favorite yellow headband. She pulled on her green and white striped tights and her purple shoes. She looked in mirror. I LOOK FABULOUS! she declared to herself. When she came downstairs, her mom told her to go change and wear something that matched, but she didn t want to. Mom, these are all my favorite things, and today is a special day! I am going to win the spelling bee again, and I want to look pretty when they give me my new ribbon. She looked down at her dress and her tights and her shoes. She didn t know what her mom was talking about. She looked pretty! Her mom sighed. She was worried that some of the kids might point at Daisy s outfit and laugh at her, but Daisy was determined to wear her fabulous outfit, so her mom gave in and let her. Daisy s mom drove her to school that morning because she was practicing her spelling words and didn t want to get distracted on the bus. When she arrived, her mom let her out and wished her luck.
Ha, Daisy thought, I don t need luck! I always win! When she entered her classroom, she heard someone snickering. She looked around and couldn t see what or who was being laughed at. She shrugged her shoulders and sat down at her desk. Later that morning, after math, the class held their spelling bee. It happened the same way each year. First there was a spelling bee in class, and then the winner from each class competed against all the winners of the classes in the same grade. Last that winner got to compete against the winner from each grade. Whoever won that got the blue ribbon. Just as she thought, she breezed through the first round in her classroom and won with the word Diligent, which meant constant effort to accomplish something. Odd, but she thought she heard a few more snickers while the teacher announced her as the class spelling champion. She looked around but couldn t see anyone laughing. Later, she won against the others in her grade, and it was finally time to compete against all the winners. She filed into the cafeteria with her class, but when she got inside the door, her teacher pointed her towards the stage. This is it, she whispered to herself. She followed the other winners and took her place on the stage, patiently waiting for her turn. Within minutes, it was her turn. She stood up from her seat and walked to the microphone. Suddenly a hoot of laughter filled the cafeteria. She turned to see what was so funny and found someone pointing at her! She s dressed like a clown! someone yelled. Daisy felt her cheeks heat up. One of the teachers admonished the students for their behavior, and they quickly quieted down. She realized someone was asking her to spell liquid. But she couldn t remember how to spell it. She was mortified. She stammered into the microphone, Umm L umm-l-i-k-w-i-d. I m sorry, Daisy, the correct spelling is l-i-q-u-i-d. Please take your seat and thank you for participating in the annual spelling bee. That got Daisy s attention. She lost? LOST! That didn t happen to her. She NEVER lost! Wait, can I spell it again? she pleaded. No, Daisy, the rules say you must sit down now. The teacher smiled politely at her.
Daisy s cheeks were getting hotter and hotter. She felt the heat spread down her neck and into her tummy. She looked out at the crowd. A boy was laughing at her! In a fit of anger, she kicked the microphone stand. I hate this place, and I hate spelling, and I hate kids who laugh, and I hate sitting, and I hate purple shoes, and I hate yellow headbands! She ran off the stage, tears streaming down her face. Do you think Daisy could have handled her defeat in a better way? Does anger ever help a situation? Why do you think the kids were laughing at her? Shouldn t she have stayed around to see who won the spelling bee? Do you think Daisy should have congratulated the winner? Do you think Daisy was being a good sport? Should the kids in the audience have laughed at her outfit?