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2 of 15 STOOGE CRAG route list South-facing, elevation 7500! Routes established 2007-08 by D Stephens, W Smith, C Sims and T Symanovich - Most anchors require one 70-meter rope - Hike 1 mile up (north) Ten Lakes Trail, go up & left at cairns on slabs 15-20 min - Largest cam size listed. Standard rack otherwise: doubles, hybrid aliens useful Not pictured 300! up and left of Motorbreath: Left to right (3-4 for belay; walk off): Reptilian Crevice (5.8; 1 ) ** The nice fingercrack/lb on the left side The Ol! Reacharound (5.10b; 2 ) * Start left of corner, move around arête & up I... Could Love You! (5.9; 4 ) ** Nice fist crack through roof and up handcrack Turn Around & Gimme (5.9; 4-5 ) The mossy squeeze on the right A - Motorbreath (5.10c; 3-3.5 ) *** Classic flared handcrack, stoogey face start B - What Now, Ikea Boy? (5.10d R; 2, hybrid aliens) *** Killer but scary face C - Hot Hot HOTT Pocket (5.12a; 2 ) ** 2 bolts, finger crack finish right of A D - Family Medjools (5.10a R, 2 ) * Bad fall but cool. Unrepeated, needs bolt? E - Real Cool Time (5.9; 2 ) *** Classic, take left-leaning hand crack to steep lb. F - Family of Man (5.9 R; 4 ) ** Thin crack to face. Add bolt? Old pin at crux [not pictured]: the German word for Little Bee Fart (5.4) * (the easy ramp) G - The Headless Horseman (5.10d; 2 ) ** Unrepeated but good, a little heady H - Yuppie Sophistry (5.11b; 2 ) **** Crag classic. Start left of cave, move right I - Jewel-Encrusted Bombilla (5.11c; 2 ) ** Arête finish left of YS, difficult pro J - TV Eye (5.12b/c; 2, offset nuts & cams) **** Best route at the crag K - Creature of Light (5.12a TR) ** Great but still dirty, start TV Eye, move right L - Professional Suicide (5.10c/d; 3 ) **** The classic 5.10, start in chimney M - Creature of Darkness (5.13a; small tech) *** Start right of PS, finish on left Variations (many possible): Professional Darkness (12d) Creature of Suicide (13a) Burning Darkness (12d) etc. N - Burning Urethra (project 12c?) *** Hard start left of Mod Pod O - The Mod Pod (5.11d/12a; 2 ) *** Start in chimney with tree P - Werewolf, Semen & Blood (5.11a; 2 ) ** Start Stony, move left at 20! Q The Beast with One Back (5.10d; small tech cams) *** Hard finish to Stony R - The Stony Route (5.10c/d; 2-3 ) **** Steep start, move right pumpy S - Tender Manhood (5.11a; 2 ) ** The right arête. Classic but needs cleaning T Dirt (5.8; 3 )* [not pictured] Start on the steep handcrack right of Manhood Not pictured: These routes are on the smaller white buttress with the clean arête 400! up and right of Tender Manhood (shared 2-bolt anchor). Left to right: Raw Power (5.12b project; techy cams & nuts, 1 ) *** The overhung white face Gimme Danger (5.11a; 2.5 ) * One bolt. Start Fun House, finish arête Fun House (5.10a; 2.5 ) *** Start in the corner move left at moss for slab crux
THE STOOGE CRAG route descriptions STOOGE CRAG 3 of 15 South-facing, elevation 7500! Routes established 2007-08 by D Stephens, W Smith, C Sims and T Symanovich Most anchors require one 70-meter rope Approach: Hike up (north) the Ten Lakes Trail from the Yosemite Creek/Ten Lakes trailhead parking along 120. After 1 mile of flat hiking (12-15 min), start heading up and right to the crag on the LEFT (west) side of the valley (difficult to see at first). The best departure point from the main trail is around the point when the Ten Lakes trail starts going up rock stairs and granite slab. You will soon pass a prominent boulder with a splitter 5.10 crack on the left side. The trail zigzags back and forth up granite slabs and short bushy sections past many boulder problems to the crag. The bouldering on the right side is especially good. Not pictured (300! up and left of Motorbreath): Reptilian Crevice (5.8) ** FA Dustin Stephens & Annie Ballard. Gear to 2, 3-4 for belay Super nice liebacking up a crisp fingercrack. Could use a bit more cleaning, but one of the better moderates at the crag. Spicy slab move at top. No anchor; walk off. The Ol! Reacharound (5.10b) * FA Dustin Stephens & Annie Ballard. Gear to 2, 3-4 for belay Start just right of Reptilian Crevice and climb out and around a roof. No anchor; walk off. I... Could Love You! (5.9) ** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 4, 3-4 for belay Great climbing up the obvious hand and fist crack, with some liebacking Valley style. Named after an unsuccessful Thomas Huber pick-up line. No anchor; walk off. Turn Around & GIMME (5.9) * FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 4 The unfortunately moss-filled squeeze great climbing but a bit of a dirt-fest. Never to be repeated? There are potentially some hard climbs to the right of this squeeze. No anchor; walk off. A - Motorbreath (5.10c) *** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 3.5 Best handcrack at the Stooge? Flaring hands and fists stoogey start on face holds. Classic. Wet in spring. A few ground-up attempts were thwarted by heavy moss until the crack succumbed to rap cleaning. Named for sport climbing guru Patrick O! Donnell!s high school metal band. One bolt, fixed nut anchor.
4 of 15 Dustin Stephens on the FA of Motorbreath (Wyatt Smith photo?) The upper crack of Motorbreath (Marshall Burke photos)
5 of 15 B - What Now, Ikea Boy? (5.10d R) *** FA Dustin Stephens. Gear to 2, hybrid aliens useful in the beginning crux (esp. yellow-green without this piece it may be considered X). A bold, beautiful climb up a water-pocketed wall. Start wet in spring. Finish on the amazing 10c finger crack between Motorbreath and Family Medjools. One bolt, fixed nut anchor. Ikea Boy!s second ascent, onsight by Peter Mayfield (sans yellow-green hybrid) variation: Real Cool Ikea Boy (10c) *** Start Real Cool Time, move left at the ledge and finish the finger crack. A classic warm-up. Alternatively, start Motorbreath and finish Ikea Boy (Motorboy, 10c ***) Dustin Stephens on Real Cool Ikea Boy (M Burke photo)
C - Hot Hot HOTT Pocket (5.12a) ** FA Dustin Stephens. Gear to 2, two bolts The only sport climb at the crag. Finish on Ikea Boy or Family Medjools. STOOGE CRAG 6 of 15 variation: What Now, Ikea Pocket? (12a/10d R) *** Start Ikea, move right onto Hot Pocket, finish Ikea or Motorbreath. Long slings. Cody Sims onsights the first linkup of Ikea Boy into Hot Pocket into Ikea Boy (M Burke) D - Family Medjools (5.10a R) * FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 3. One bolt & 3-4 cam for anchor Good but a little frightening. Unrepeated as of June 2009. A good candidate for a retro bolt or 3? E - Real Cool Time (5.9) *** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 3. One bolt & 3-4 cam for anchor The classic moderate of the crag; a bit planty at the beginning. Finish up the bitchin! Family Medjools arête (5.7 R) up top or the dirty corner to the right (5.8). Polly Dog Fartz Fordyce, PhD on Real Cool Time!s hero lieback (M Burke)
/ STOOGE CRAG 7 of 15 F - Family of Man (5.9 R) ** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 4, walk off A long sleepless night with an awkward new lover led to this minor ground-up opus. Scramble and stem the corner to start, move left up a thin fingercrack up to fixed pins (replaced with bolt?) and run it out up steep but positive 5.8 face to the top. Unrepeated, no anchor as of June 2009. Good candidate for a modern sport climb, or at least a bolted direct start?. The iconic moment: Dustin Stephens placing and climbing above the pins on the FA of Family of Man (Max Pazirandeh photos)
8 of 15 Not pictured: the German word for Little Bee Fart (5.4) (the easy vegetated ramp that divides the crag). FA Scott Scootz Sims & some German girl G - The Headless Horseman (5.10d) ** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 2 Good and tricky and probably a bit dirty. Unrepeated as of June 2009. Planty at the start in spring. Named for YMS guide and equestrian patrolman Kevin Lurky Sessler!s ingenious Halloween costume for the 2007 Evergreen Lodge bash. Dustin Stephens on the FA of The Headless Horseman H - Yuppie Sophistry (5.11b) **** FA Wyatt Smith & Dustin Stephens. Gear to 2, extra small cams Another crag classic. Careful on the 5.9 R above the midway ledge (piton added?). Belaying on the ledge makes it a bit safer. Planty at the start in spring. Wyatt Smith on the FA of Yuppie Sophistry (Braden Mayfield photos)
9 of 15 Wyatt Smith on the FA of Yuppie Sophistry (Braden Mayfield photos) I - Jewel-Encrusted Bombilla (5.11c) ** FA Cody Sims (pinkpoint). Gear to 3 Start Yuppie Sophistry through the 5.9 R white face, bust left at the roof up a handcrack to the steep arête. Gear placed on rappel; has not had a true redpoint. Would be extremely difficult to place pro on lead. Good candidate for a bolt? J - TV Eye (5.12b/c) **** FA Cody Sims (lead), Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 1, extra small, offset RPs & hybrid Aliens useful The best route at the crag, an all-time classic thin crack and face. Safe but heady still awaiting a second lead.. Cody Sims on the FA of TV Eye (M Burke photos)
10 of 15 Cody Sims on the FA of TV Eye (M Burke photos) K - Creature of Light (5.12a TR) ** Start TV Eye, bust right up the face left of Professional Suicide, join PS for a moment then pull the roof. Crank straight up the abstract face between TV Eye and Creature of Darkness. Could probably use some cleaning. L - Professional Suicide (5.10c/d) **** FA Wyatt Smith & Dustin Stephens. Gear to 3, extra small The best 5.10 at the crag. Start up the easy chimney (5.7), or the Creature of Darkness handcrack & traverse left (10d). Planty at the start in spring. Dustin Stephens on the first crux of Professional Suicide (M Burke photo) M - Creature of Darkness (5.13a) *** FA Cody Sims. Gear to 2, extra small and offset RPs/Aliens The crag testpiece. Start on the handcrack to the thin crack/offset seam (V6; RP pro) right of the Professional Suicide chimney.
11 of 15 COD -y Sims on the first crux of Creature of Darkness (T Symanovich photos) variations (many possible): Professional Darkness (12d) start PS, finish COD Creature of Suicide (13a) start COD, finish PS Burning Darkness (12d) start Burning Urethra, finish COD etc etc. N - Burning Urethra (project 12c?) *** One of the last great problems of Stooge. Unrelenting & powerful a fearsome toprope. Start left of the Mod Pod chimney and tree and join up with Creature of Darkness past the first crux. Thin pro. O - The Mod Pod (5.11d/12a) *** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Gear to 2, including small cams The best hard 11 at the crag. A difficult onsight up an inscrutable offwidth pod to a hard lieback. Finish straight up before joining up with the conclusion of Professional Suicide, or continue up the dirty squeeze (Shipoopi!s Chimney, 5.8 R). Doing the direct start up the beginning of Burning Urethra bumps the grade to 12b.
12 of 15. Dustin Stephens on the FA of the Mod Pod P - Werewolf, Semen & Blood (5.11a) ** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 2 Start the Stony Route and bust left at 20!, pulling a dynamic move to a jug. Head straight up on 10a R terrain and finish the Beast with One Back. The face to the left at the top still awaits cleaning and climbing. Named for a crucial black metal jam from Norway. Also put up around Halloween. Q The Beast with One Back (5.10d) *** FA Dustin Stephens. Pro to 1, extra small and hybrid Aliens The classic finish to the Stony Route and Werewolf, Semen & Blood be sure to protect yourself from the ledge below. Named for an unfortunate encounter at the Benton Hot Springs suffered by the first ascentionist. 1-bolt, fixed nut anchor. R - The Stony Route (5.10c/d) **** FA Stony Symanovich & Dustin Stephens. Pro to 3 AKA Monthly Visits from my Woman. The other best 10 at the crag. Steep and stoogey in the beginning, hero hand crack past the midway roof. Finish on the Beast with One Back or up 5.8 jugs to the right. Not a good warm up. S - Tender Manhood (5.11a) ** FA Wyatt Smith & Dustin Stephens. Pro to 2, hybrid Aliens useful An unheralded Stoogey classic, just a bit dirtier than the routes to the left. Start off the Table of Man ledge and make exposed moves up and left, then right, then left up the tricky, gymnastic face. Stoogey pro and stoogier moves a hotly contested FA between Stephens & Smith well, not really. This route and T are the first routes to come into the shade in the afternoon. Hard project to the left.
13 of 15 T Dirt (5.8)* FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 3 [not pictured] A bit mossy but not as bad as the name might lead you to believe. Start on the nice hand crack right of Tender Manhood off the ledge and finish on moderate well-protected slab above. Not pictured: These routes are on the smaller white buttress with the clean arête 300! up and right of Tender Manhood [not pictured]. New route potential exists on both sides of the three existing lines. Left to right: Raw Power (5.12b project) *** Pro to 2 The improbable-looking overhanging white face amazing and powerful. Has been toproped but not yet led successfully. Spicy at the beginning, needs a little cleaning. Fixed nut directional at top for TR. Cool fingercrack TR to the left too. Gimme Danger (5.11a) * FA Dustin Stephens & Cody Sims. Pro to 3 Start Fun House and finish around the left side of the arête. One bolt on route, two-bolt anchor. Fun House (5.10a) *** FA Dustin Stephens & Wyatt Smith. Pro to 3 Stem up the clean corner, making a balance move left onto the thin crack before the moss and the chockstone on the right. Finish via a tricky (height dependent?) slab move and the nice handcrack in the corner. Two-bolt anchor on Gimme Danger. Stony Symanovich on an early ascent of Fun House (D Stephens photos)
14 of 15 Fun Photos! Dr. Wyatt Brother Smith performs his ceremonial Stooge dance in the parking lot to the obnoxiously loud accompaniment of Iggy et al. Bad habits are good at Stooge Crag! Reverend Bob Goodwin readies himself in the parking lot before the second ascent (and first groundfall) of the Beast with One Back.
15 of 15 Regal Weedian Merlin Larsen and fam discover Stooge!s dirty little secret: hybrid Aliens. Early Stooge topo in vivid Technicolor!