(c) Copyright 2007 EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK!

(c) Copyright 2007 EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK!

EXT. GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE - DAY A red, classic convertible, its back seat filled with pumpkins, careens through traffic. Its driver, 24 year old, checks the rear-view-mirror. Behind him, on the road, lay a trail of orange mush. A wheel, a large semi-type, spins, spitting pumpkin parts onto the windshield of an old hippie van. Its driver, blinded, coughs, expels smoke, then slams into the back of a trailer, causing a pile up. No! Smoke and twisted metal fill the mirror. Oh, God! He throws a hand up onto his head, runs his fingers through his thick black hair, fixing it, making it more... Elvis like. A SIREN sounds. Jesse smiles, lifts a lip, snarls. Thank you. Thank you very much. EXT. GIRARD STREET - DAY The convertible sits outside a row of painted ladies, old Victorians. Jesse reaches into the back seat, picks up a small pumpkin, shakes his head, tosses it aside. The girls are gonna be disappointed. (beat) I better get the shotgun. He moves to the trunk, opens it.

2. INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Jesse, one hand behind his back, enters through a set of ornate double doors. A little girl, three year old, looks at him, shakes a finger. You re in big trouble, mister! I know, I let you girls down. (beat) Again. She points to the TV. ON THE SCREEN, 35, sits, an angry, piercing stare on his face. He took my car. My precious red convertible. I m gonna kill him! The camera cuts to his co-host, 23 year old, BECKY. BECKY Let s stay on topic. Footage of the carnage is shown. BECKY Two have been pronounced dead in what is being described as the great pumpkin pile up of 1991. Jesse watches as the convertible is seen, unscathed, exiting the bridge. The car is fine! It s perfect! Not a fuckin scratch on it! Danny storms off the set. BECKY Danny? (beat) Commercial... Cut to a commercial., seven, races into the living room.

3. Uncle, Jesse! Uncle, Jesse! Jesse, shotgun in hand, whips around. Bitch, don t make me use this! Stephanie s sister, twelve year old, enters, chasing her. She took my knife! What knife? This one! She waves a six inch carving knife in the air. What are you gonna do with that? I already did it. Did what? I cut up your diary. Bitch! Cunt! Slut! Whore! Whoa, whoa, girls, stop, stop. (beat) Hug. The two, defiant, shake their heads. BOOM!

4. Now! A puff of black smoke rises from the barrel of Jesse s gun. The girls, quickly, embrace. Give me the knife. Stephanie hands it to him. You know you re not supposed to play with this... either of you. This is... This is special. We know. It s the knife we -- Don t say it. It s the knife we -- Don t -- Carved last year s pumpkin with. Steph smiles. Jesse cringes. Speaking of pumpkins...uncle Jesse, where is the pumpkin? Well, um... You forgot, didn t you? That s what happened last year, too. Remember? And look what happened. Now what are we gonna carve? GIBBLER, twelve, wearing loud, obnoxious clothing, enters from the kitchen.

5. Never mind! Jesse, is it true? Is Mr. Tanner really gonna kill you? Oh, pul...eeze! No. Well, if Elvis ain t dyin, I m out. No, wait! Stay. You want me to stay? Yeah. Ah nuts! Let s go into the kitchen. Jesse looks at the knife, examining its blade. Let s all go into the kitchen. The front, double-doors burst open. Danny! Danny steps toward him. Jesse lifts the shotgun, aims it at him. Undaunted, Danny takes another step.

6. There isn t a scratch on it. Not a fuckin... Dad, I um, I spilled a glass of... milk, yeah, in the kitchen. No way, Jose! Spilled milk? He marches, mission-like, into the kitchen. That was close! Dad just hasn t been the same. Not since we... I mean, since mom died. Yeah, he s gotten a little obsessive. Danny returns to the living room, holding a large carving knife. We all have. Haven t we? You got it, dude! A laugh track is heard. Did you hear that? What? Nothing. Let s get started.

7. Wait. Where s Joey? EXT. BACKYARD - DAY JOEY, 30, plunges a shovel into the ground, then, hockey stick in hand, moves toward the house. INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Jesse grabs Michelle s hand. C mon, munchkin. You guys are, like, so loving. I wish I had a nick name. How about Pumpkin? What? Pumpkin. A laugh track is heard. Did you hear that? What? Nothin. The group enters the... KITCHEN Stephanie, quickly, moves to a drawer, opens it, removes two shiny knifes. These will do. She tosses one, sending it, tumbling, end over end, through the air toward. She catches it.

8. Up. He pats the table. Kimmy looks at him, confused. C mon. Me? Yes. Hurry. He eyes his watch. We ve got a schedule. He turns around, pulls a clipboard off a wall, then starts to collect cleaning supplies. This is gonna get messy! Last time we carved a pumpkin, there was blood all over. There should be less blood this time. Why? Cuz you re smaller than mom. Kimmy takes a step back toward the door -- into Joey, bumping the hockey stick that hangs from his hand. It s end fitted with an ax like blade. She jumps! Then laughs... Haha, funny. Like you re really gonna carve me up.

9. JOEY Well, it is Halloween! He picks her up, drops her onto the table. The group moves in, holds her down. Stop! This isn t funny. You re in big trouble, mister! Shut up! How rude! Joey points at Kimmy s heart. Kimmy struggles. JOEY Cut. It. Out. Give me a hug. You got it, dude! You people are nuts! Aw, nuts! Oh, pul...eeze! You re in big trouble, mister. You got it mister nuts, mister Jose. The group starts to sing. What ever happened to predictability? The milkman? Jesse opens the refrigerator, an old, headless man, holding a milk bottle, tumbles out. A laugh track is heard.

10. JOEY The paperboy? Did you hear that? Joey opens a cupboard, another headless body, holding a newspaper, drops to the floor. Jesse shrugs. The evening TV? JOEY He should be on TV. He is! We all are! The groups starts to dance. ALL Everywhere you look, there s a heart... All the cupboards are now open... HEARTS fill the shelves, blood drips. ALL...and a hand to hold onto. Joey swings his stick -- its blade lands on Kimmy s wrist, severing it. She SCREAMS! Struggles. ALL Everywhere you look, there s a face.. The room is now dark. A severed, hollowed out head, lit with a candle, casts a flickering light across the room. ALL Somebody who needs you.. Mom! STEPH/ Kimmy, minus a hand, drops to the floor. Joey swings his hockey stick. gives chase.

11. Kimmy screams, trips, crawls. The blade of the stick lands, just missing Kimmy s foot as she escapes out the back door. Joey scans the yard. JOEY Looks like she got away. Damn! Now what are we gonna carve? Nothing. What a rip off! No, no, it not a rip off... Okay, it s a bit of a rip off. But we ve still got each other. Hugs? THE END