Who s the duddy*? McGillycuddy

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1 Monday, November 9 th, 2009 (Issue 8) NO NEWS NO GOSSIP 9 PHOTOS SOME SPORT Free inside not much Who s the duddy*? McGillycuddy (Luis)! BRITAIN S WORST TABLOID IS BACK! AGAIN! Goalscoring supremo turns creator and terrorizes a shell-shocked Yarnton defence as Sanghera s Shock & Awe tactics shock & Awe Yarnton! * If you say it in a New Jersey accent it almost becomes akin in meaning to Daddy, and not some duff fuddy-duddy. If good things come in threes, then there must be another McGillycuddy brother hiding somewhere! - Presumably with 3 good journalists. After

2 his low & hard hat-trick two weeks ago against Oakley, and then an away week whilst some uneventful goalscoring occurred, Luis McGillycuddy returned to action this week and returned to his footballing three-some ways with another hat-trick! And he must have been away on one of those bullsh*t team building courses because his hat-trick this week was a hattrick of assists! From a McGillycuddy! Manny Road Formation Line Up and Substitutions It s hard to get a game upfront for Mansfield Road this season, but scoring 5 goals in your debut cameo up-front is not the way to go about it. Or so an ashen-faced Ashton was told by the Sometimes Sanguine Sanghera ( We ve got Luis back, hooray! ). Manny Road returned to their favoured formation, with the returning Lazarus settling for a place on the bench, and Leigh keeping his place on the wing after impressing against Eynsham (where he assisted 3 of Ashton s 5 goals ). After a dynamic-flexibility warm-up routine Manny Road were ready to come out the blocks blazing, and afer finally listening to Sanghera s instructions, they played a high tempo, high-line, pressing game, that quite simply, blew their opposition away! Yarnton did not know what had hit them, right from the off it was all Manny Road, and it was all in the Yarnton half. It was clear that Yarnton were used to playing the ball out of defence but that they weren t used to tryng to pass around the honed physiques of the

3 Manny Road dressing room, and they were forced into many errors as Manny Road squeezed the play on their small, narrow, slick home turf. Manny Road Sunday Formation Line Up and Substitutions Manny Road take the lead! It was clear the pressing game was working and the defence of Dickie, West, and Ashton were excellent in their high-line with Dickie sweeping up any balls over the top. Confident in their defence, the midfield of Knight, Kay and Trinder were happy to push-up too and thus there was no way out for a hapless Yarnton. A second goal soon came, and it was similar to the first, except this time McGillycuddy had to do a bit of work on the left, skipping past two challenges, before playing a great pass into the run of Trinder, who literally toe-poked home at the near post from all of 5 yards, GOAL! 2v0! And it was one such error that provided the first goal, after Trinder, Knight, Kay, and Gill pressed the play and won the ball back on the leftwing, allowing McGillycuddy to break free down the left before curling in a delicious low cross for Burton to sidefoot home, GOAL! 1v0! The first half continued in much the same vein, with many passes finding the feet of Gill and Leigh on the flanks, although it was hard for them to find any room on the narrow pitch. However they were effectively pinning back the opposition fullbacks, key to success in the modern game.

4 The opening goal but could he have scored it without a dynamic flexibility warm-up routine? A third goal came when a Trinder throw found the feet of McGillycuddy in the box, where he turned and used his strength to hold off one challenge before sliding the ball across the face of the goal to the supporting Gill who tapped home from 3 yards, GOAL! 3v0! What a performance! - - and let s go for a catch up at Sunday, when Manny Road are playing host to Mason Arms in a near-topof-the-table clash! Well John it s not great stuff here, a nasty niggly game has seen Mason Arms take the lead from a corner, which was a real shame for keeper Schofield who had moments before made the most Banksesque save I have ever seen! His heroics continued as he One, two, three - montage! The full range of human emotions are on display, from ruthless cool, through comedic fear to jubilant joy! Note: final montage is from a few weeks go, where Gill amazingly scored the first of his 3 recent non-own-goals! then saved a powerfully hit penalty! Not many chances at the other end, as Manny Road are locked in a battle of wits with the opposition linesman. So

5 half-time here, and it s Mansfield 0, Mason Arms 1, over to you John. - Thanks John. - Your welcome John. - Ok that s enough now John. A tribute to the fallen ones during Remembrance week. No disrespect intended, we here at Manny Road all know how lucky we are to play football and merely partake in ritualized battle rather than the real thing. Photos courtesy of the talented Terry Trinder. Meanwhile, on Saturday, the second half was rather dull and Manny Road failed to capitalise on a long series of corners whilst Yarnton did well to block many shots. A

6 despondent Kaiser Kay had to limp off early when it became clear that his knee was well and truly f*cked. Lazarus replaced him in midfield before moving to upfront for the final ten after Man of the Match McGillycuddy was taken off to receive his standing ovation. Tommy Allen came on in midfield. Not much else happened, not anything that this reporter can remember, except that Gill, another contender for man of the match with his tireless pressing, tackling, and tracking back, refused to pass to Burton, and instead opted to play it back into the middle where the ball as lost and Yarnton annoyingly managed to score a consolation goal. - let s catch up on the Sundays... John, any advance on the 0 v 1 scoreline? Have Manny Road found a way back in? - Well funny you should say that Maniche, as they did actually manage to draw level, on around the hour mark, after a superb goal when Pothecary s pace set him free down the right before he hit a teasing low pass across the face of the goal, where Oyston showed great strength and determination to beat the keeper and a defender to the ball, poking the ball home under the keeper s body! - And then what happened? Did they hold on? Did they storm into a vengeful lead? - Ah well no Maniche, they did not. Although they did hit the bar with a George header from a Mills corner. But apart form that they pretty much capitulated, losing a second soon after, and then a third to some good skills, and then Gill to some good fouling, and then two more goals in the closing minutes! So all in all a disappointing 5v1 home defeat. Full-time: Mansfield Road 3 v 1 Yarnton; Mansfield Road Sun 1 v 5 Mason Arms. After the game, Manager

7 Gordon Sanghera had this to say, They actually did what I said! And they should be very proud, beating Yarnton is a great achievement. Did you know Yarnton is a small village in rural Oxfordshire, England. It is possible that Yarnton is the oldest village in England though this is a claim shared with several hundred other villages. Sunday team Manager Jon Mills had this to say, We ll get our revenge in 2 weeks time, when we play them in the cup! Sanghera s Man of the Match [again] went to McGillycuddy (L) for his hat-trick [of assists] and for not getting a yellow card and to help him pay off his fines. Mills Man of the Match went to nobody. Mansfield Road 3 v 1 Yarnton (ht:3v0) Burton (McGillycuddy, L.) 20 Villager 80 Trinder (McGillycuddy, L.) 25 Gill (McGillycuddy, L.) 35 Mansfield Road line up and formation: Robinson, Dickie, Ashton, West, Gill, Leigh, Kay (Lazarus 55), Knight, Trinder, McGillycuddy, L (Allen 80), Burton. Referee: went by unnoticed by this reporter, probably a good sign. Crowd: went by unnoticed by this reporter, probably because they were not there. Mansfield Road (Sun) 1 v 5 Mason Arms (ht: 0v1) Oyston (Pothecary) 60 No one cares 20 Terry look-a-like 70 Master Angry 80 Mr Angry 85 No one cares 88 Referee: Ok Crowd: the masonettes Mansfield Road Sunday line up and formation: Schofield, Gildermeister, Smith, Cannon, Gill (no-one 87), Leigh, Xie (George 45), Burton (Talbot 84), Hassanain, Pothecary, Oyston.

8 Oxford Amateur League Division One Results Broughton & NN 1 v 0 Kidlington OB Freeland 4 v 2 Charlton Garsington Rs 0 v 3 North Oxford Hinksey 10 v 1 Eynsham Rs Mansfield Rd 3 v 1 Yarnton Slade Farm 2 v 1 Oakley Watlington 5 v 2 Middleton Cheney Anything Ashton can do Hinksey can do better Autotype Upper Thames Valley League Division 3a Results Bicesterlona 4 v 2 AFC Jericho Donnington 6 v 1 Yellow Eagles Freeland 8 v 1 Witney Exiles Iffley Harriers 4 v 1 Northway Mansfield Road 1 v 5 Mason Arms Railway Wheatley 10 v 1 Leys Wanderers Donnington maintain their 100% record!