BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

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1 BRISBANE NORTHSIDE HASH HOUSE HARRIERS Website: HASH TRASH It is a truth universally acknowledged that the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened, is happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway. GRAND MASTER Murrumba Downs ASSISTANT RA Kallangur Pounda RELIGIOUS ADVISER Petrie Cheesecake HASH HABERDASH Beachmere Chunda Kuntree Girl HASH CASH Arana Hills Boxy HASH TRASH & FLASH Windsor Semen Stains & Christopher Cum Semen HARE RAISER Brighton HASH BOOZE Beachmere Smooth Ride HASH ELDER Chermside FIGJAM SONG MISTRESS Aspley To & From Flower Your committee are located throughout the northern suburbs. We are more than happy to take delivery of, or collect, the plates and cutlery if the holder can t make it to the next run. RUN NO: 2066 DATE: 29/01/2018 HARE: Picaninni LOCATION: Everton Hills Oh the hills, oh the hills, well it wouldn t be flat would it! A great crowd turned up for Picannini s run, when it s in Everton Hills it s hardly going to be flat, so only the fittest specimens took off on the runners trail. The walkers pounded up as many hills as possible, sometimes twice for those in the lead, but thoroughly enjoyed the 5.34km trail. HASH CASH Boxy read the run totals and GM Pounda called the circle, RA Chunda poured the charges. GM Pounda called the circle and RA Chunda took the floor, to pass on Silky s thanks for the last two weeks, especially to Mammary Stick. He really enjoyed coming to Hash, he said that last time he came to Northside it was just men and it was a bit strange and this time being a mixed group he said it was much more fun. Run Report: Ned gave the Run Report, GM Chunda said Ned had nearly caused two accidents when he ran across the road shirtless, startling motorists. Ned said the run was probably well marked about a year ago, didn t find many arrows at all, but found his home eventually.

2 Score: 5/5000 Walk Report: Semen Stains gave the Walk Report, noted that she and Flower were going the right way until GM Pounda called them back and added half a km to their walk! The walk was flat, it was short, it was well marked, these are lies. Score: 2/1,000,000 Letterbox Report: Mammary Stick did the whole walk but gave the Letterbox Report because she took off on her own route, a risk avoidance strategy to miss all the hills. Score: 11/10 Total Score: 18/1,005,010 We had joy, we had fun Religious Articles: Small Appendage Scrubber awarded it to Mammary Stick for boasting about Ned s snake wrangling abilities in her garden. Scrubber had been carrying it around in his pants, Mammary asked for a bucket of metho or at least a tissue to hold it with. She s the woman who wears the Hash shoes Large Appendage Pickpocket is still using it as a bribe for Mrs Pickpocket, he s never had so many roast dinners in his life. Scrubber Shirt Thunderbox is still brewing a decent set of sweat stains before he returns it. Vagina Brush Scrubber awarded it to Tail for taking too long to come up the hills. Here s to sister Hasher Measuring Paddle Generic is taking it to the Beachmere Pub this weekend to see if any of the locals measure up. Charges from the run: RA Chunda charged Flasher for the on-home, standing right next to the eskies, he lifted up the lid of a box of books instead of the lid of the esky. How dumb is that Hasher in the circle Boxy charged Tail but he meant Flower RA Chunda reversed the charge. Boxy claimed they are all the same in the dark. His charge was for the L Plate that Flower was wearing on the walk, suggestions from the floor as to what it stands for: luscious, learner, lick me, sit on my face and show me that you Love me (Ryvita!!), learner (not quite qualified), lunatic and lovely. Flower charged Cousin It, there are two people in the club who wear safety first flashing lights, he walked up to Flower and Tail and said that they hadn t managed to turn each other off yet. Flower replied: why would they when they ve got him for that. On top of a mountain, all covered in Pizza looked around for a cup to put on his head to call a charge, Semen Stains loaned him hers only to be doublecrossed!! Pizza charged Semen Stains and Flower, out on the walk, a bit off trail, they were claiming to have seen a large arrow pointing in the opposite direction, how big? The size doesn t matter to Harrietts, it s the motion of the ocean not the size of the boat. Pizza got a bit lost in the end of the story so was called to join the charge. If I had the wings of an eagle FIGJAM reminded us that on the weekend we celebrated invasion day/australia Day, while on the run he saw a penis crime (heinous), he heard that a fellow Hasher was driving down the road when his Femme Fatale pulled it off and said I m not having that an Australian flag from the window of the car. Truth shall not stand in the way of a good charge. Night Owl was falsely accused, but took it like a good Harriett. GM Pounda added to the charge

3 for not controlling his visitors to this country, when one Shredder/Pounda drinks all Shredder/Poundas drink. They ought to be publically pissed on Boxy charged Cousin It for deceiving Night Owl, who thought he was a nice bloke. GM Pounda decided being a sly prick at Hash is not chargeworthy behaviour. GM Pounda charged Asshole Dick Fart and Scrubber, walking tonight because they did leg-day today at the gym and can t manage the run. After a false trail Asshole Dick Fart felt like a run afterall, but Scrubber heard a police siren, sprinted off and hurt himself. There s a game that s played all over town GM Pounda called Pizza out for the last charge as he s Ten Finger s understudy. Do your balls hang low Happy Birthday to Pizza for the weekend! Returnees: GM Pounda charged Simpleton and the much-reduced-we ve-lost-the-rest-of-her Asshole Dick Fart to keep him company. Piss on ya, piss on ya Hash Name: The GM Chunda asked Wheelbarrow to explain how he got his name, he started hasing in Toowoomba, on the day he started they asked his name, got to the surname and started reeling it off and they decided they d need a wheelbarrow to carry it. Named! Announcements: Next Week s run: Monday night 5 th Feb 2018 is from Unit 2, 32 Allworth street, Northgate. Hare: FIGJAM Sub-committee to organise the 40 th Birthday in May 2019, two volunteers already: Heartstarter and Scrubber, need about six people to run it effectively. Let a member of the Committee know if you re interested. Picaninni s hot sausage never disappoints, unlike his run markings, but you can t be perfect at everything mate. Good run, great walk and thanks for having the marauding hoards on your back veranda. Photos on the next pages

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5 The good news is that if you walked the whole way, pumping hard up the hills, you ve burned enough calories to enjoy one sausage, 5 potato chips and a light beer, completely guilt free! Or make the beer a heavy, have a second and you won t give a fig about calories. Approximately 80 calories in 5 chips calories in 1 BBQ sausage calories in a bottle of light beer.