Ghost Man on Third. In This Issue... NEWS & This Week s Theme. Team Spotlight. Highlights & Power Rankings

Transcription

1 Fl Atlantic Division Winter Season 2010 Issue 4 Ghost Man on Third In This Issue... NEWS & This Week s Theme Team Spotlight Highlights & Power Rankings

2 NEWS Theme Are you Bad or Good? and I don t mean your kickball skills!! This weeks theme is Cops and Robbers. Those of you who may have served, dust off your old prison jump suit or your best cop outfit. I m sure some of you have plenty of outfits or handcuffs at home that will come in handy on Thursday night. The winner gets 2 free pitchers of beer at Burrito Gallery!! I noticed I could not help but notice the Kickball Field main bathroom this past Thursday night. Obviously, if you were privileged enough to visit the stall you would have noticed that the water level was up to the rim of the toilet accompanied by various types of excretions. I am sure that the local kids are to blame taken from the unmentionables smeared along the walls, but please kickballers lets try to keep it somewhat classy. Please note that there are two bathrooms one located on the front and another around the back. If you catch yourself tip toeing up to the toilet then that means its time to try another stall. 7:00 Field 1 - Boozies vs NBK Field 2 - Commotion vs Cobra Field 3 - Hoodies vs Kickolas Field 4 - Dingles vs Ballswell 8:00 Field 2 - Surrender vs DLTS Field 3 - Off Constantly vs KBTN Field 4 - Sons vs Beer Goggles WMPA - bye week winners Call out Those Dingleberries won again!! They really have some driven people on their team who don t mind getting honky tonk!! Anyone up for knocking the dingleberries off their throne. Dingles - see you Thursday night so you can collect your free beer!! Didn t ya ll win the $50 beer tab too? 04/01/10 of the week I AM GUARANTEEING YOU THE CAGERS WILL WIN THIS WEEK AGAINST THE HOODIES. THE CAGERS ARE SO TIRED OF LOSING AND THEY ARE PROMISING A VICTORY. LOOK OUT SPRINGFIELD BECAUSE THE CAGERS ARE GONNA BE GONE IN 60 SECONDS AND WILL BURN YOU AT THE WICKER MAN! dingles i saw you... I saw your manly self working some push-ups on the kickball field. I liked seeing your triceps in motion! You had a little doggy on your back, just cause you re so strong like that. You may have noticed me panting on the sidelines. I really liked your doggy and your style. Maybe we could go for a walk sometime. The way you rounded those bases sent my heart into the triple digits. Your flamboyant style and over the top laugh drives me insane. I m always staring at you and you seem to notice but you never respond to my advances. Maybe next time I ll buy you a few more drinks. Your beer goggles need to be extra cloudy, so I can trick you into dating me. See you at the Burrito Gallery - I know you ll never miss the party!

3 frolicsomeness... for those who always have their camera face ready

4 Aries Shin splits, leg cramps, pulled gluts. Kickball is reeking havoc on you. You need a complete miracle this week. Unfortunately you re not gonna get it. Just keep licking your wounds, Aries. Taurus The full moon creates a small turn of events and your usual showing is severely lacking... Expect major feelings of let-down and your team mates may be less than enthused to give you words of encouragement. How easily they forget your awesomeness from last week! Gemini You better wear knee socks to the game cause your gonna be sliding all over the field. Whether it be to snag a pop-up or sliding into first your knees are gonna be looking like chopped meat if you don t cover those things up!! Cancer Its time to pull your head out of the clouds and actually get into the game. Your team has an epic battle in front of them and even though they don t expect too much from you, the least you can do is pay attention and cheer them on to victory! Leo You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. Self-immolation is not out of the question Leo. You will be boisterous beyond reason during the game, and this time you can t blame it on the booze! Virgo Thank God you re funny Virgo! You re able to make enough people laugh this week that they don t even notice your less than stellar performance on the field. Libra Libra, a.k.a. Dragon, which is way cooler than the American corn bread Zodiac name. Be proud as you are extremely good looking and what s even better you are good at everything you do. All the rest of the Horoscopes this week are considered a bunch of scrubs. (THIS was obviously written by a Libra! - he ll remain nameless) Sagittarius Sags are the charmers of the zodiac and they ll have to lay it on pretty thick this week. Your opponents will challenge your play and your gonna have to work those skills to get things going your way again!! Scorpio Your kicking streak will remain Thursday night. Maybe you should look into a soccer league next season cause you, Pele Jr, are killing it every time you kick that ball. Capricorn You ll be like Rudy this week Capricorn and the cheers for your performance will be heard all over the fields! Naturally you will let this go to your head, but don t get too excited you ll step back into reality next week. KickballerScopes Aquarius Aquarius rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don t discuss it. This week you may have a change of fate and actually do something right! Like score a run or kick without missing! Pisces If your fielding skills were put into a movie, who would play you?? Too bad Derek Jeter isn t an actor, cause he s the only one who could accurately show your golden glove type skills in the field. I would suggest you try to keep this momentum going, but you ll choke under the pressure. Sorry to be so harsh, I just speak the truth! Don t forget to send me anything you want put in the newsletter. It gets so tiresome to be so witty all the time, I could use the help! :) heatherhlj@hotmail.com

5 Game highlights Dingleberries 6- vs Boozies & Fluzies - 3 On Thursday night the B&F s fought the good fight,just not good enough. The Dingleberries came at us with a punch of maniac pitchers that had us all taking notice,and the distraction of having the one and only Daisy Duke on the diamond had the Boozies floating on clouds of alcohol and reminiscing about short jean shorts...well played Dingleberries...well played. Alexis came through in the clutch with an RKI(run kicked in) that had us thinkin WE MIGHT JUST WIN THIS then our hopes were dashed the very next inning with a Dingleberry offensive onslaught that would have made Cobra Kai scared (probably not but I like the way it sounded and I m trying to make this sound good...don T JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!). Fun game, classy team and Yahtzee quit blaming yourself for your terrible play as we all suck. The Dingleberries not only won the game, they won the $50 beer tab at Burrito Gallery too! Commotion from the Ocean - 6 vs. Kickolas Cage will rock your face Off - 0 Commotion Version: Commotion started out really slow on offense, but played great defense a pitched another shutout. Commotion finally got on the board in the 3rd inning while following it up in the 4th with a home run by Reggie chicken legs Wilson. Commotion will need to play a perfect game this upcoming week against Cobra Kai. KCWRYFO Version: Well it almost happened. Much like Con Air the Cagers thought they would take the mother plane into their own hands. Heading into the bottom of the 5th and only down 1-0 the Cagers began to feel life. Then after a couple of great calls by the refs gave Commotion a big upstart and 4 runs came across for the Commotion. Cagers never really threatened and played great defense. But a loss is a loss and Cage moves to GG ocean. Cobra Kai - 17 vs Natural Born Kickers - 3 Cobra Kai faced what seemed to be another rookie team in week 5. After spotting Unnatural born kickers a 2 run lead in the top of the first inning, Cobra Kai had it s way with the rookies and easily beat them 17-3 in 4 innings. Luckily the rain came and the time limit was up so the rookies were spared the full attack. Although Cobra Kai was planning on taking it easy this season and let other teams have a chance, Commotion has started running their mouths a little early. So Cobra Kai will take their 33 game FL Atlantic win streak against Commotion s 5 game streak and the number 1 power ranking this week. Special appearance at the game from Johnson s mom, who Berger has been bragging to at work for the last 2 weeks. Ballswell 11 vs Springfield Hoodies - 2 The final score was 11 to 2, the opposing team turned a shade of blue. Kira came in for what she thought was a score, but alas it was removed from the board. First one then two home runs were blasted, the younger gray scored points that lasted. Rebecca turned second and flew to third base, in the end she had to plead her case. The pitching deserves a big shout out, we got our very first strike out. Jose was unstoppable in the field, play after play he would not yield. The rain stayed away just long enough, for wet balls and wet grass would have made it tough. On a honky-tonk night we all had fun, the orange cartel would not be out done. Kicking Balls & Taking Names - 6 vs Sons of Pitches - 2 SOP Version: Matchup was set for the Sons of Pitches vs. Kicking Balls and Taking Names. SOP s defense was anything but stingy giving up too many runs on errors in the infield. KBTN kicked just enough to secure the 6-5 win. SOP had a chance in the bottom of the 6th. KBTN missed the runner on the way to 3rd, who made it home on the overthrow. However, the home base ref saw something the 3rd base ref didn t and called the grazing tag at 3rd securing the loss for SOP and more tables at BG. KBTN Version: Man what a game...even though all 6 of our star players were out this week we still somehow managed to come out with the win. Key plays that helped us seal that deal this week: Todd Brearley was one catch away from winning the golden glove award. Ryan Pharis managed to barf in the outhouse bathroom before the game, Ryan Camer lost one in the lights and threw his hands up, and Antonio caught a tough pop fly but decided to throw it into the buttocks of the Cate from 5 feet away. The player to take home the Most injuries in a single season goes to our very own Ryan Pharis whom also managed to steal home with a pulled hamstring. Off Constantly - 6 vs Where my Pitches At? - 1 Off Constantly started out fast by scoring 2 runs in the first inning. Where My Pitches At played us tough the whole game, but we were able to squeak out a 6-1 victory. No team has yet to beat Off Constantly this season. Surrender the Booty - 5 vs Beer Goggles - 0 Surrender the Booty can t surrender any of their time to send in a recap. So we are all forced to come to our own conclusions on this game.

6 Power Rankings

7 Team Spotlight on... Kicking Balls & Taking Names You hear that Kick Ass music - it s us coming!! KBTN knows a lot about a lot of things, but no one can touch our taste in music. Each week we consistently deliver and we re covering every genre of music you can think off. You want some old school rap, 80s, Rock, Metal, R&B...we ve got them all covered. We even have great intermission music when we aren t up at the plate kicking your balls!! Our sidelines are pretty much a dance party with all your favorite music. Our veteran team has been around for so many seasons, We can t even keep track. We re always coming out in the top 4. There are no gaps in our line up - its fully stacked with only the best kickers. You gotta be good to be on our team and you gotta be somewhat affiliated with Haskell. We are not the other Haskell team, we are the Haskell team. We re just a little more fun and laid back then our rivals, Cobra Kai, since some Haskell s have defected over there and we don t make it a prerequisite to play soccer to be on our team! We always manage to recruit the best players and come out every Thursday and kick some balls and take some names!! Our team is full of ridiculously great people, We actually feel sorry for the other teams we have to play against. It s not fair to have such a great genetic gene pool all on one team. Not only do we have the looks, but our athletic abilities are Insane! How lucky are we?? Let s get out there and BEAT OFF CONSTANTLY!

8 SaVe the DaTe!! S I D e Will be held at the new WHISKEY RIVER in the Town Center area in advance of the grand opening! We ll have the entire bar to ourselves until around 10 pm! Don t miss your chance to party at Whiskey River before anyone else. Friday, April 9 Time 7 pm DJ / dancing (don t worry we will have dance music) Kickball photos on big screens / all TVs Mechanical bull : ) N O t e S Come party Thursday Night after the games for our Mid-Season Party!