Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know. them.

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2 Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know Amanda Flaman (403) them. Does it Hurt? A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." Haircut The supervisor of my work section recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature. "How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked. "Still employed," was his answer. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. Open 7 Days a Week Hours: Monday - Friday 9-6 Saturday 9-5 & Sunday Main Street N. (Next to Royal Bank) Airdrie, AB Page 34

3 World s Easiest Quiz - Or Is It? 1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2. Which country makes Panama hats? 3. From which animal do we get catgut? 4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5. What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7. What was King George VI's first name? 8. What color is a purple finch? 9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from? 10. What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Answers : 1) 116 years 2) Ecuador 3) Sheep and Horses 4) November 5) Squirrel fur 6) Dogs 7) Albert 8) Crimson 9) New Zealand 10) Orange, of course. Page 35

4 129 Bowers Street in Airdrie. ( 1 block off Main St. on 1st Ave.) ph: Watch for us at the Home & Garden Fair, Booth #59 Store Hours: Tues. 10am - 8pm; Wed. 10am - 6pm; Wed. - Sat. 10am - 5:30pm; Closed Sunday & Monday How Many Feet? I had given our daughter, who was 15 at the time, a drivers manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her driver's permit. "Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book." "You do?" I returned. "Yep", she said, very smugly. I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?" "One," she replied. "What?" I asked. "One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on my face, she added, "One, Mom. You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one." Did you hear about the long-distance runner who took part in a 100 kilometer race? He was in the lead and had one more km left, when he decided he was too tired to finish, and ran back. Did ya hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head. Page 36 Did I ever tell you the butter joke? Don't spread it around!

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7 Home & Apartment Insurance Fire Insurance Property Estimate Evaluations Page Main Street North, Airdrie, AB T4B 2B5 website: 24 Hour Claim Service Toll Free (Alberta Only) ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP on the AIR-ALTA INSURANCE stage & the HERE S THE SCOOP stage Adam Scotten (AFOL Winner 2007) (Sponsored by Air-Alta Insurance) Airdrie Dance Academy Airdrie School of Ballet Airdrie Tae Kwon Do Club Ambition Performing Arts Carly Henry (Sponsored by Allan LePoudre Financial Services) Keister Family Fiddlers (Sponsored by Air-Alta Insurance) Star Baton & Dance Company Suzy & Asianne Dance Troupe Tamara Parenteau (AFOL Winner 2006) (Sponsored by Air-Alta Insurance)

8 Trivia Quiz: Perennial Borders Source: Funtrivia.com "A quiz about some of the flowering plants used to create a perennial border, some common, others not so common. Good Luck!" 1. This plant, which produces long magenta-violet spikes, can be found in the wild, where it can become extremely invasive and destructive. Varieties grown for home gardens are cultivated to be less invasive. Its name derives from its use as a medicinal herb. A) Purple Loosestrife B) Spiderwort C) Burdock D) Hawkweed 2. This charming perennial has silver-grey foliage and clusters of tiny yellow flowers (hence its name). When the flowers fade, the seed pods resemble tiny silver-dollar plants. Once planted, it should never be transplanted. A) "Moonshine" Achillea B) Ranunculus C) "Basket-of-Gold" Alyssum (Aurinia) D) Primula Veris 3. An unusually shaped white variety of this flower is called "Dutchmans Britches". Most people are more familiar with the pink or pink and white varieties. In England, the flowers are called "Lady in the Bath". However in Canada, they are given a more romantic name. A) Love Lies Bleeding (Amaranth) B) Bleeding Heart (Dicentra) C) Love-in-a-Mist (Nigella) D) Cupid's Dart (Catanache) 4. "Shasta", and "Montauk" are cultivated varieties of this common and ever-popular flower, of which the "Ox-Eye" variety is found abundantly in the wild. A) Narcissus B) Lily C) Daisy D) Violet 5. This popular flower makes an appearance in the film version of "The Wizard of Oz", and is associated with Remembrance Day in Canada. It comes in various shades of pink and peach, as well as white, though the bright red variety is still the best known. All have the same black center, with it's velvety "star". It is illegal to grow one variety in some parts of the world because of its use as a drug. A) Geranium B) Poppy C) Salvia D) Hibiscus 6. "Blue Bonnet" is a variety of this majestic perennial, whose flowers grow in tall thick spikes. It is a member of the pea family, and its name is derived from the Latin word for "wolf". A) Anchiusa B) False Indigo C) Lupine D) Delphinium 7. Also called "Blanket Flower", this plant produces flowers with brown centers and jagged-edged petals with yellow edges and orange-brown centers. A) Gaillardia B) Coreopsis C) Rudbeckia D) Echinachea 8. Also called "Tickseed", the most common variety of this plant has large yellow flowers with yellow centers and pinked edges. However, there are dwarf varieties with tiny yellow or pink flowers and finely divided leaves. A) Coreopsis B) Rudbeckia C) Gaillardia D) Helenium 9. Plants of this family include the florist's Carnation. In the perennial border, you are more likely to find smaller-flowered varieties with silver-grey foliage. They are also known as "Pinks" A) Phlox B) Dianthus C) Delphinium D) Aubrieta Answers: 1. Purple loosestrife 2. Basket of gold alyssum 3. Beeding heart 4. Daisy 5. Poppy 6. Lupine 7. Gaillardia 8. Coreopsis 9. Dianthus Page 40