GHOST MAN ON THIRD FLORIDA ACTION DIVISION WINTER 2017 ISSUE 2

Transcription

1 GHOST MAN ON THIRD FLORIDA ACTION DIVISION WINTER 2017 ISSUE 2

2 SERIOUS GMOT STAFF WAKA Action Division Customer Service Rep: Kyle Bateman THERE S NO RULES!... WAIT YES THERE IS! Presented by Kyle Bateman Our playing fields are run by the City of Jacksonville, so we need to pay close attention to their rules to ensure we will have fields to play on for the season. Pets: Pets are not allowed at the park. Please make plans to keep your pets at home or we will have to ask you and your pet to leave. Beverages: Alcoholic beverage containers are not allowed at the park at any time, this includes the fields & parking lots. No glass containers or bottles of any kind are allowed on the fields. Coolers, Funnels, Kegs and Party Balls or anything that seems fun are not allowed on the fields. You are required to keep all beverages in bubba kegs, thermos bottles, solo cups, or anything that cannot be seen through. Clear colored or see through cups are not allowed, please purchase solid colored solo cups. Anyone in violation of the beverage policy will be asked to leave the premises and may be suspended for the remainder of the season. Please do not be the guy/gal walking in with a case of beer wrapped in a plastic bag or something. That is NOT ok. Other Activities: Due to general safety and liability reasons; no other sports may be played at a WAKA permitted field just prior to or during the games. That means no tossing a football around or kicking a soccer ball etc. CONTENTS PAGE SERIOUS You are here FIELD LAYOUT 3 WEEK 1 SCHEDULE 4 POWER RANKINGS 5 THEMES AND CONTESTS 6 PRESEASON HIGHLIGHTS 7 AFTER PARTY INFO 8 Fireworks: Absolutely no fireworks of any kind are allowed on or near our fields. That includes Sparklers, Flame throwers, Molotov Cocktails and anything else you can think of. Trash: All trash must be picked up before you leave the field. Trash cans are available throughout the park. Your CSR will also have trash bags available as well. Restrooms: We have a Port-A-Potty for our use at Gonzalez Park. Use it. Do not use the caveman method and do your business in bushes or even worse in the open. You may get a ticket and we may lose the permit to use the park! Parking: Park only in marked spaces or areas designated by the park. Parking on roads, on the curb, or on the sidewalk in unmarked spots may result in a parking ticket.

3 Field 2 Field 1 P a r k i n g

4 WEEK 1 RESULTS

5 WEEK 2 SCHEDULE

6 POWER RANKINGS 1. Body By Kickball Well, well tell us how you really feel? BBK kicked off the season with a statement victory over the defending champs. They looked to exorcise those demons from the title game loss last year and leave no doubt that gray can be golden. Can they keep that ball rolling for 7 more weeks? They go up against a team that claims they Don t Give a Flock this week, but can you ever take team names so seriously? 2. Kickin and Waffles It s grayer at the top than a Midwestern winter. The Brunch of Kickball champions paid off and they jumped up the rankings thanks to a wet and maybe not so wild matchup with DGAF. While Frequency gave up 8 to BBK, it is yet to be seen if BBK s offense is just that good, or Frequency s defense left more to be desired. It s still a game worth watching for sure. 3. Frequency One must wonder if the curse of someone changing the power rankings is to blame for the lopsided defeat. Superstition aside, it was a rocky start for the defending champs and BBK has been looking for that vindication for almost a year. It s a long season though and K&W is on the slate this week. If anything can ease the pain of a loss it s the look on Jimmy Bush s face when the game gets close. 4. Don t Give a Flock Stumbling out of the starting blocks, they took awhile to find their wings. While they kept it close with K&W, kickball is neither horseshoes nor hand grenades. They have some strong pieces and perhaps a few less missing faces will help them bounce back against a BBK team that looks absolutely dominant. If they can find a way to give a flock or two, they might pull off an upset! 5. Little Flicks to the Kick Leaving the awkward kickball opponent wife-swap action in the top 4, Little Flicks came out and won the battle of League s Longest Names by edging out CCOMB 3-2. They look to separate from the pack and break into the top 4, but don t expect them to stop the party to do it. This week Chug Norris is knocking on the door, and we ve heard rumors that Chug Norris can make a happy meal cry. 8. JB Boozter Club JBBC and Big Booty Pitches could not decide on who would be the winner and loser, so they decided to go for participation points and both took home 1 point. Not sure the Power Rankers are old enough to go on a That s why this generation is entitled rant! So, let s get our game plan in check and show the Jumbo Shrimp that no one takes our Suns away! 9. Big Booty Pitches As I said before, let s keep ties in the corporate office. Lock down that outfield and score more than the other guys! This week BBP have Money Shots on the schedule (I feel dirty having read what I just typed, but it was truly unintentional so it stays). Trust me, you are going to want to be on the winning end of this matchup. 10. Jumbo Shrimp Don t take it personally. It s just going to take people a little while to warm up to the Jumbo Shrimp. You know what warms people up fast? Suns. However, winning has been known to cause warm fuzzy feelings. That s something that neither Jumbo Shrimp nor JB Boozter Club have figured out yet, so let s see who the faster learner is. If these teams tie after I wrote all of this, I m throwing a base. 11. Can t Come On My Base Well, looks like this team found themselves in a sticky situation. If you are going to tell people they can t come on your base, you have to play the defense to back it up. LFTTK came on their base a few times and we ve heard that little flicks can be worse than direct shots. Either way, the shot at.500 comes against Basic Pitches and let s be honest. Is there anything extraordinary about them? 12. Chug Norris Chug Norris never fails, he just tells success to come back when it s ready for him. After winning with Golf scoring to Money Shots, Chug Norris looks to beat Little Flicks to the Kick in Kickball scoring. They better be careful with that flicking. Chug Norris is the only team in the world that can kick you in the back of the face. (Power rankings do not reflect actual standings and are just opinions) 6. Basic Pitches Hardly a barn-burner as there was less scoring going on against than at a Dungeons & Dragons convention, but Basic Pitches came out on top. Identities are hardly defined yet, so we will look for them to pump some horse roids into their offense before taking on Can t Come on My Base. 7. Money Shots Starting off the season with an 8-5 win is definitely a good start. However, with a name like Money Shots, we all know it s how you finish that counts. Can they keep that offense chugging along? This week they take on Big Booty Pitches, who have already shown a propensity to get tied up. No matter who wins, this game is already Rated R for adult content.

7 Week 4:

8 SPOTLIGHTS Rookie of the week Mallory Turner - Money Shots How did you hear about WAKA? That Shakira song about Africa. What do you think of your WAKA experience thus far? If you ain t first, you re last. What is your favorite pre-game/post-game activity? Kats, kasseroles, and kiki. Who are some of the most interesting people to you (past or present, famous or not)? Lady Gah-Guh What is your occupation? Was that on purpose? Work, work, work, work, work, seminamanama. Relationship goals? MONAY SHAWTS!! What makes you smile? MONAY SHAWTS!! If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Middleburg, Mayport, Orange Park If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all the money? Buy a George Foreman Grill. What is your Twitter handle/facebook Profile Thingy/and Instagram stuff? We all want to be your

9 SPOTLIGHTS VETERAN of the week Cody Hendrix - Can t Come On My Base How did you hear about WAKA? Went hiking in northern Russia and a Shaman I met recommended it. Said he would have never left North Florida, but he took a ball to the face and the embarrassment drove him to the outer reaches of the globe. I was hooked after that. How many seasons have you played? What teams? Championships? 2, I think. And 1 championship if scoring this sweet spotlight counts as a championship. Who are some of the most interesting people to you (past or present, famous or not)? Have you met Bill Lambe? Goes by Willy. What is your occupation? Was that on purpose? Can I say professional interviewee? I did it once, so it counts. I also dabble in making sure all the taps at our sponsor bar are properly flowing. Relationship goals? Is that an oxymoron? What makes you smile? When you line up the groceries on the conveyor belt and the bagger doesn t have to stop bagging because you perfectly arranged them. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? I m on 6th now, 7th or 8th would be cool...i know I m a risk taker. If you won the Lotto this week, what would you do with all the money? Pay the refs off. What is your Twitter handle/facebook Profile Thingy/and Instagram stuff? We all want to be your friend. Codyahendrix is Instagram. I like Insta because I have trouble reading and it s all pictures, and I like pictures. That Shaman I told you about earlier told me about Instagram. You all should try it. What superpowere would you want if you had a choice? It d be really cool to have hair that was always groomed the same. Never grows or leaves. I hate getting haircuts (strangers grabbing your head all willy nilly). That d be nice. I d also like that trick Willy does with his big toe. I want that, too.

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