NUWC Golf League Bulletin 2nd Half Week #18 (Really Week 12 Make-up) 12 September, 2013

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1 NUWC Golf League Bulletin 2nd Half Week #18 (Really Week 12 Make-up) 12 September, 2013 Place Team 2 nd Half Pts Indicates Bye Week. The Bye Week team receives 36 points. TEAM # 1 WINS the Second Half by just 2.5 Points - WOW Birdie (or Better)Report: Name Hole Number Campo 1 Jackson 4 Hillenbrand 6

2 WEEKLY LOW SCORES LOW GROSS score for THIS WEEK: Campo (37)(Sub) LOW NET scores for THIS WEEK: Group Name Team Gross Score Net Score A Phil Campo Sub B Jim Mellin C Ted Whittier D Jin Lee nd Half LOW SCORES: LOW GROSS score for the SECOND HALF: Schwab (36) LOW NET scores for THE SECOND HALF: Group Name Team Gross Score Net Score A Chris Hillenbrand B Dave Sowersby C Dave Nassaney D Pete Decoste Note: Subs are ineligible for prizes NEWS Paul Dube and Chris Hillenbrand fought it out not only on the field of battle but also in the Court of Public Opinion when they were rallying their teams and trying to get subs to jump in when they could and have others ambush the other team to get that little edge they needed. In the end it was Hillenbrand who edged out Dube to give them the chance to face a greater foe Worse than any other, it was the man they call Fratus. Legend tells it that people quiver with Fear when they have to face the man himself. Starting this week until the 24 th we will see if Hillenbrand s Team can outlast and compete with the Legend Fratus and his crew of motley misfits. Stay tuned for the final outcome. On a SIDE NOTE: Our very own Keith the Killer Casey on the Jamestown Golf Course lined up on the 7 th hole and knocked it in from the Tee for his very first Hole in One. Way to go Keith.

3 SUPER SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS: **** NOTE **** The END OF YEAR Tournament at Ledgemont is set for September 24 th TUESDAY. Put a Reminder in your Calendars. Flyer was sent out to all league members and Substitutes. NOTE THAT YOU CAN CONTACT RICK BERUBE AS WELL AS DAVE NASSANEY WITH YOUR FOURSOMES AS MENTIONED IN THE MOST RECENT FLYER AS IN A FEW DAYS, DAVE WILL BE TAKING A BREAK FROM MANAGING THIS LEAGUE OF MISFITS. Come out and enjoy the FUN FUN FUN of a Great round of Golf and with Great People on the Golf League. SPECIAL ANNOUNCMENTS: ******* Team 1 will Face Team 9 in the Championship for all the Marbles and Bragging rights for the Year. *******

4 ATTENTION: Championship Captains need to finish their lineups and have all their matches completed by the End of Year Tourney ( 1 Week Away). The END OF YEAR Tournament at Ledgemont is set for September 24 th TUESDAY. Put a Reminder in your Calendars. Flyer was sent out to all league members and Substitutes. NOTE THAT YOU CAN CONTACT RICK BERUBE AS WELL AS DAVE NASSANEY WITH YOUR FOURSOMES AS MENTIONED IN THE MOST RECENT FLYER AS IN A FEW DAYS, DAVE WILL BE TAKING A BREAK FROM MANAGING THIS LEAGUE OF MISFITS. The Golf League Website is at: (NUWC Golf League - Out Of Bounds). Please use this URL from now on for league info and sub requests! Notes: Captains should call/ the handicapper, Pete Michno, no later than 1100 Thursday to give their line-ups. However, I m sure the handicapper would appreciate Captains providing the line-ups earlier if you have them set on Thursday should be the exception, not the rule. Captains should inform all retirees and non-nuwc members on their teams to use the website for all League information or forward on news as appropriate. Slow Play Watch: None this week Jokes of the Week #1 Murder Scene A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club" "Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her"

5 "I don't know. Four'five'six'put me down for a four." # 2 Murphy's Laws Of Golf Golfers who claim they never cheat also lie. A two-foot putt counts the same as a two-foot drive. Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole. There is no such thing as a friendly wager. The stages of golf are Sudden Collapse, Radical Change, Complete Frustration, Slow Improvement, Brief Mastery, and Sudden Collapse. The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt two inches short of the hole. Don't play with anyone who would question a 7. It's as easy to lower your handicap as it is to reduce your hat size. If you really want to be better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. If your driver is hot, your putter will be ice cold; if you can hit your irons, you will top your woods; if you are keeping your right elbow tucked in, your head will come up. Progress in golf consists of two steps forward and 26.6 miles backward. One good shank deserves another. It takes 17 holes to really get warmed up. No golfer ever swung too slowly. No golfer ever played too fast. One birdie is a hot streak. No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to play worse. Whatever you think you're doing wrong is the one thing you're doing right. Any change works for three holes. The odds of hitting a duffed shot increase by the square of the number of people watching. Never take lessons from your father. Never teach golf to your wife. Never play your son for money. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10. The statute of limitation on forgotten strokes is two holes.

6 Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives. Confidence evaporates in the presence of fairway water. It takes considerable pressure to make a penalty stroke adhere to a scorecard. It's not a gimme if you're still away. The more your opponent quotes the rules, the greater the certainty that he cheats. Always limp with the same leg for the whole round. The rake is always in the other trap. The wind is in your face on 16 of the 18 holes. Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp dogleg to the right. The rough will be mown tomorrow. The ball always lands where the pin was yesterday. It always takes at least five holes to notice that a club is missing. The nearest sprinkler head will be blank. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10 percent of the time and a 2 inch branch 90%of the time. Out of bounds is always on the right, for right handers. The practice green is either half as fast or twice as fast as all the other greens. No one with funny head covers ever broke par. The lowest numbered iron in your bag will always be impossible to hit. Your straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short. No matter how far its shaft extends, a ball retriever is always a foot too short to reach the ball. If you seem to be hitting your shots straight on the driving range, it's probably because you're not aiming at anything. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. The only thing you can learn from golf books is that you can't learn anything from golf books, but you have to read an awful lot of golf books to learn it. # 3 Irish Golfer A golfer was on vacation in Ireland and while playing he made a hole-in-one. With that a leprechaun jumps out from the trees and says, "I am the lucky leprechaun of the 13th hole. I'll grant you any wish." The player thought a bit and said, "Could you make me weeny a bit larger" "Wish granted." says the leprechaun, as he skips away.

7 Well, by the time he got to the 14th tee it was showin' below his shorts. He continued his game and on the 15th hole it was draggin' along behind him. By the 18th he could hardly make it to the green. He went straight to the pro shop and asked the pro how to fix it. He was told that legend has it that you must go back and make another ace and see the leprechaun again. After purchasing five buckets of balls he made his way back to the 13th and frantically began hitting shot after shot until finally he made the hole-in-one. Again the leprechaun offered any wish. The player asked, "Could ya make me legs a bit longer Quotes of the Week # 1 I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it. ~ Jim Dent # 2 Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. ~ Tommy Bolt # 3 Golf is a better game played downhill. ~ Jack Nicklaus # 4 I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. ~ Bob Hope Golf Cartoon of the Week

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9 # 3 Great Pictures of the Week (Guess the Courses)

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17 SEE YOU AT THE END OF YEAR TOURNEY!