Mastering The Mental Game. A Long-Term Approach To Better Tennis And More Enjoyment With The Sport!

Transcription

1 Mastering The Mental Game A Long-Term Approach To Better Tennis And More Enjoyment With The Sport! 1

2 When thinking of the mental game players tend to think about techniques like visualization, positive thinking and proper breathing. These can help a little bit but they do not get to the root of the problem and the root of the problem is the general attitude that you have towards the game and that is why developing a good attitude is the focus in this ebook! Content Outline: 1. Introduction 2. What Is Attitude 3. Typcial Problematic Attitudes 4. Attitudes To Develop 5. Fear On The Tennis Court 6. Controlling Anger 7. The Satisfied Tennisplayer vs. the unsatisfied tennisplayer 8. Goals 9. Motivation 10. Confidence 11. Flow or Entering The Zone 12. Managing Your Surroundings 13. Affirmations 14. Visualization 15. Conclusion 2

3 1. Introduction Most people play Tennis to relax from their everyday routine and because they want to learn new skills in a safe environment with people that they like. We want to have satisfying relationships with other people and we want to get some good exercise and have fun at the same time. These are typical good reasons to play Tennis. Another crucial aspect of why we play Tennis is the fact that we can easily get into a flow like state where we are completely immersed in the task at hand and forget what s going on around us. This is a very enjoyable state and something that tennis players strive for all over the world. In the long run you will only enjoy Tennis if you play for the right reasons and too many tennis players base their motivation on counter-productive things like external rewards. Some common examples are players that want to keep up with their spouse or players that want to look good in front of others to satisfy their need for recognition. Having the right reasons and attitude for playing Tennis is a process that never ends. It is important to develop some healthy selfishness. Play for yourself and to satisfy your own needs first and that way you and everyone else will get the most out of your involveme nt in the game of Tennis! In order to develop as a tennis player and as a person it is usually necessary to change in certain ways and this is quite difficult for most people. Change means unknown scary territory and there is a reason why you behaved the way that you behaved in the past. That s why your subconscious mind is usually resistant to any changes. If you are reading this then most likely there are things in your mental game that you want to change. What I would like to tell you is this: Do what you have always done and you will get the same result as always. Therefore it is important that you make yourself aware in the beginning of this process that you need to change certain things and it will not always be comfortable! If you do end up overcoming your personal obstacles though, you will develop a great feeling of accomplishment and have more fun on the tennis court as a result. I sincerely hope that this ebook will help you make those changes to your attitude and get you to play Tennis for the right reasons, which should lead to more enjoyment on the court! 2. What Is Attitude Every tennis player has a certain attitude towards the game that generally reflects his character. How does he approach the game and how does he treat himself when he is playing well and when is not playing well are the questions to think about. Expectations obviously play a big role in this regard! Players with healthy attitudes towards the game understand that all they can do is try their best and they end up making this their goal: to try their best and keep improving. 3

4 A great quote from Vic Braden that I always remember is this: On any given day 50% of all tennis players in the world loose and 50% of all tennis players in the world win their matches. Wouldn t it be a shame if the 50% of the tennis players in the world that loose their matches do not enjoy the game? Players with good attitudes also understand that there will be highs and lows in regards to their form throughout their tennis career and that it is inevitable. Getting better at this game happens only with hard work and usually the process is rather slow. Oftentimes it is two steps forward and then one step back again. Since you are reading this report though it is obvious that you have made a commitment towards accelerating this process, which is great news! Attitude is also about having a long-term perspective on things. The percentage of tennis players that will ever make money playing Tennis is extremely small. Wouldn t it be a shame to spend your valuable free time in frustration on the tennis court? Most points in Tennis end with an error from someone. Errors are a huge part of the game and if you get frustrated after every single error then you will have a hard time enjoying this sport! Understanding this is easy; changing your attitude is the hard part. Your mind prefers to keep the thought patterns that it is used to. Tennis players that make a conscious effort to develop a better attitude on the court often succeed for a few weeks and then revert to their old destructive habits; very similar to people on a weight loss program for example. Hopefully this report can help you not to fall into that category. Just understand that it will require some solid effort on your part! Developing a great attitude towards the game is a lifelong process and someone like Rafael Nadal for example has been internalizing good thought processes on the tennis court for his entire life. Attitude Action Steps: Make Trying Your Best Your Primary Goal Continuously Work On Your Attitude Be Aware That Long-Term Change Is The Goal And That Is What Makes It So Difficult 3. Typical Problematic Attitudes Let s have a look at some of the most common problematic attitudes on the tennis court. Perfectionism / Never Good Enough 4

5 Many players unknowingly measure themselves against the best possible Tennis that they have ever played and as a result are frustrated most of the time. It is simply not realistic to expect yourself to play at your highest possible level on a regular basis. If you are going to measure yourself, then measure yourself against your normal form and not against your best form! Another thing to keep in mind is that nobody is perfect on the tennis court and it is ok to not be perfect. Tennis attracts many people that are perfectionists by nature and this can be a recipe for disaster on the tennis court. So if you are a perfectionist you need to regularly remind yourself that it is impossible to be perfect on the tennis court and making mistakes is part of the learning process! Seeking Short Term Rewards Our society teaches us to seek out short term rewards from a very early age and this is one of the biggest problems when it comes to working towards long-term goals with your tennis game! From an early age we are conditioned to seek short term rewards. In school we get recognition for getting an A and therefore we study accordingly. We do whatever is efficient to get an A rather than doing what will help us understand the subject matter. As a result students manage to make good grades but they often forget about what they studied quickly or even worse they loose interest in the subject matter altogether because they are conditioned to only worry about getting a good grade. At work we often encounter similar processes. We are completely focused on results and outcomes and many people view solving the problems as a necessary thing to accomplish their goals. We then apply these same principles to our hobbies like Tennis. Players are focused o n winning matches in order to gain rewards in the form of recognition and possibly prizes. The fact that we are conditioned like this makes it extremely difficult for us to focus on long-term goals like developing our game to the fullest potential. Pursuing such a goal oftentimes comes with long phases without recognition and rewards and our desires to gain recognition and rewards is constantly nagging us. As a result most players go back to focusing on actions that lead to short term rewards and recognition in order to fulfil those desires. Since this desire is deeply engrained in us, I believe we need to find ways to use it for us instead of trying to overcome it. One way to do that is to pick short term goals that are part of the development process and reward yourself for achieving them! So if you are working on your serve and the first step is to get the toss correctly, then I would recommend to focus on that and to reward yourself once you get the toss right consistently even though you might not be hitting better serves yet. 5

6 Most of us need these rewards to keep us on track because otherwise we start to question whether or not we will actually reach our desired goal in the end. Once we get the feeling though that we have successfully achieved one step towards our desired goal, that results in more motivation to continue. (see also chapter 11 on Flow) So in conclusion I think that only very few of us can manage to succeed without seeking short-term rewards. As a result we should focus on creating short-term process goals or games that are fun to work on! An example could be to work on coming to the net at least 5 times in every set. You try to motivate yourself to achieve this goal and you could even reward yourself with something fun if you achieve this goal. Of course you need to keep your long-term goals in mind as well. The long-term goal could be to develop into an effective all-court player that can successfully play the net and your short-term goal of getting to the net 5 times per set ties in perfectly with this long-term goal! So get excited about getting to the net 5 times because you know that this is the first step to your long-term goal! Expecting Justice On The Tennis Court Expecting justice on the tennis court is a common problem. In the long run good luck and bad luck will always equal out but in a single match you can have a lot of good or bad luck and that is perfectly normal and to be expected! That s why it does not make sense to get upset about it every time you experience bad luck. Most players are delusional in this regard as well because they only remember the times that they had bad luck and forget about the times they had a lot of good luck. At the end of the day you cannot influence luck and it makes no sense to worry about it! Depending On Success In general you can learn the most from your bad matches and losses. The problem is that players have too much ego and how well they play heavily influences their feeling of selfworthiness. As a result you get really emotional when you play bad and are not capable of learning from the experience! If your feeling of self-worthiness does not depend on how well you play Tennis, then you can look at all of this very relaxed and focus on what you can improve in your tennis game! Getting to the point where your feeling of self-worthiness does not depend on your wins and losses is a long way for most players but it is something that all of us should strive for! One of the keys is to learn to view losses as learning opportunities instead of something super negative! Excuses 6

7 Excuses are all too common on the tennis court. Some players live in their own little world that they construct through excuses for everything. Basically what these players are doing is ignoring reality. The only way out of this mess is to accept that you are not as good as you thought you were and stop the excuses. This is painful but necessary! Players that have been using excuses to ignore the reality of their playing level will often have extreme angry reactions at some point when reality cannot be avoided anymore. In some cases this leads to the player quitting the game because the reality is just too hard to accept! At the root of this whole problem is usually the idea in your subconscious mind that the people around you like your fellow tennis players or your parents will only like and respect you if you play great Tennis In reality, the players that are usually respected the most are the ones that do not lie to themselves and do not take themselves too serious! In order to get rid off all that anger you have to get rid off the extreme expectations as well as the idea that your self-worth depends on how well you play Tennis. After all it is just a game! If you don t manage to do that then you will end up overambitious and eventually depressed about your tennis game! Reacting To Mistakes Many players make it a habit to show a negative reaction after almost every single point. They will display negative body language and some players even go so far as to say negative comments about the point out loud every single time they make an error. This is a very common problem and something that will lead to all kinds of frustrations with your tennis game. Essentially you are reinforcing the belief that you are not very good at this game and that you should perform a lot better. In order to stop this crazyness you need to challenge yourself to not react after you make errors. The solution is very simple in theory but very hard in practice. Simply try to go out and play an entire set without any kind of negative reaction and you will see how tough it is if you are used to expressing your negativity! Playing With Better Players Lots of players always want to play with better players. Usually what they want is to get respected and accepted from these high-level tennis players. If you practice with someone that is clearly better than you and you manage to play that player fairly close for about 15 minutes you will be tempted to tell yourself that you now know that you can play as well as that player. You are lying to yourself though. You have 7

8 proven that you can hang with that other player for 15 minutes when you play your best Tennis; nothing more and nothing less! The guy you were playing against can also play against someone even better and manage to hang in there for 15 minutes when he is playing his best. That doesn t mean he is capable of playing like that all the time though! These players are really dependent on their results. If they play well they feel great and if they play poor Tennis they feel terrible and get really angry. This usually translates to private life as well, which is of course scary if you think about it! Despair If you are putting a lot of energy into your Tennis and have high expectations that you cannot fulfil on a regular basis, then you are at risk of getting into a stage of despair. You might be thinking: I am doing everything I should be doing and still I don t get to the level I am looking to get to. What is often forgotten is that you were lying to yourself previously about how good you really are and the despair now comes from expectations that were simply too high in the first place! Your emotions result out of your recurring thought patterns. If you are constantly telling yourself that you need to play pretty much perfect Tennis and that every mistake is unacceptable, you will react accordingly if your expectations are not met! Learned Helplessness Players that are used to focusing on performance goals will oftentimes feel helpless when things aren t going their way because they feel they can t reach their goal of winning. That s why you should always put your focus on trying your best and not on winning. You can always influence trying your best and therefore you will never feel helpless. Action Steps Problematic Attitudes: Measure Yourself Against Your Normal Form Choose The Right Short-Term Goals That Motivate You In The Right Direction Do Not Expect Justice On The Tennis Court Learn To View Losses As Learning Opportunities Keep Excuses To Yourself Develop Realistic Expectations Practice Not Reacting To Mistakes Over And Over The way to internalize these action steps/attitudes is through constant repetition in your mind over a long period of time! 4. How To Develop A Better Attitude Awareness Of Your Weaknesses 8

9 In order to feel better about yourself and fulfil your potential you first need to become aware of the fact that you are constantly comparing yourself to others and that your self-worth is dependent on your tennis results. Becoming aware of this is the first step towards improving the situation! At some point you learn to accept that Tennis is a very difficult game and that it takes a long time to get better! That s when you can stop making excuses and pretending you are better than you really are. Now you are free and can start concentrating on what you need to do in order to improve! Controlling Thought Patterns At this point you have to start to replace your negative thought patterns with better ones. You will only be successful at this if you really believe in it though! Typical thoughts like: I suck, I am no good, I am a terrible tennis player need to be replaced with thoughts of this kind: Tennis is a difficult game, my self-worth is not dependent on the level of my tennis game, everyone struggles with this game and that is perfectly normal. Once you get to this point you can really start enjoying the sport and you will also improve much quicker usually! Only very few tennis players manage to stay relaxed on the court all the time. They do not identify themselves with the results anymore and instead they care about giving their best effort. These players can still be satisfied if they lost a match as long as they tried their best! The tricky part is developing and training the correct thought patterns for the longterm. Oftentimes players change how they think in times of crisis and then they end up with the same old thought patterns a few weeks later! A great example for this is Rafael Nadal. He has a great attitude towards the sport. If you listen to him in press conferences you can often hear him say things of this nature: I tried my best today and it was not good enough. There is nothing more I can do and now I will go back to working hard on my game and try to win the next one. The important thing to consider here is that Nadal really believes this. It is not just something he says. Saying things of this nature on the other hand is definitely a first step towards internalizing them! Nadal has managed to improve his game over the years and he never stopped working on his game. His focus is on doing whatever he can to get better and not on winning. Winning is just a by-product of his work and his attitude. Nadal grew up with this sort of an attitude and he had people around him that taught him about the right attitudes. Having those sorts of people around is really important and something I will talk about in more detail later. Loving The Challenge 9

10 It is important to stop hoping for short-term wins and successes. You will get the best feeling on the tennis court when you worked hard on something for a long period of time and you finally manage to execute what you have been working on! Pleasure with effort feels much better than pleasure without effort. Understanding that and developing your attitude accordingly will give you long-term satisfaction! Acknowledgement from others will also give you satisfaction of course and there is nothing wrong with that. Just don t make yourself dependent on that! Try to get your enjoyment from solving the problems that you face on the tennis court and you are definitely on the right track! The source of most mental problems for tennis players is the desire for respect and acknowledgement from other players, coaches, and parents. If instead you focus on solving the problems on the court, you will have more fun, improve at a faster rate and as a by-product get the respect and recognition from others! The best players in the world don t play for money. What drives them to continue to compete after already winning millions of dollars? They play because they love the challenge of trying to be the best possible player they can be! These players can also be satisfied with their performance after a loss if the opponent was simply better that day! More Examples Lleyton Hewitt is another player that simply loves the challenge. Lleyton was the number 1 player in the world and has earned millions of dollars. Nowadays he sometimes needs wildcards to get into big tournaments and he has suffered countless injuries. Nevertheless, he is still out there trying to compete even though he has the money and the possibilities to do many other things. Why does he do it? I believe he does it because he loves the battle and the challenge. I am sure if you ask him, getting to the round of 16 at the 2012 Australian Open at almost 31 years of age after many injuries, gave him an incredible sense of accomplishment. Lleyton can enjoy getting to the Round of 16 even though he once was a numbe r 1 player in the world because he has the right perspective and attitude towards the game and what he is capable of at this moment! On the women s side Maria Sharapova is a real role model when it comes to loving the challenge and displaying a great attitude towards the sport. Sharapova came back from a severe shoulder injury and a long layoff and ended up winning another Grand Slam title despite all the experts saying that she will probably never be back at the top of the game. Maria simply loves the challenge and she is also ok with losing as long as she tries her best. I have seen her in some devastating losses against players like Serena Williams for example where she literally had no chance but nevertheless she managed to stay positive and play 10

11 every point 100% until the end of the match. Overall she displays very healthy character traits on the tennis court and she is definitely someone to model in this regards! Resilience Resilience is extremely important in Tennis. Longer phases of stagnation and even steps backward are simply a part of this game. If you get discouraged easily by this then you will have a hard time enjoying this game. Realizing that stagnation is sometimes part of the game is very important! The idea that if you work hard you will constantly get better is a bit of an illusion. If you work hard and smart you will improve in the long run but there will always be steps back and phases of stagnation. It s part of the game! In the beginning of your tennis career you improve at the fastest rate and the better you get the harder it gets to improve even more. The improvement curve does go upward but it gets less steep and there are phases of stagnation! The Improvement Curve This type of improvement is of course assuming that you are getting good advice on your game and are practicing with a purpose. Unfortunately way too many players reach a certain level and stop improving altogether! Developing Good Performance Expectations It is impossible to get better all the time. This is something you need to realize and get used to. Make sure to check your expectations in this regard! Ideally you want to get rid of any performance expectations. Your expectations should revolve around trying your best and that way you can always meet your expectations! Do not go out and practice with the goal of winning in mind. Go out and practice with the goal of getting better in mind and winning will follow. 11

12 If you are too anxious and focused on short-term results then you will slow down the learning process significantly! Get rid of the anxiety and focus in on every practice session. That will get the best possible results Tennis resolves around solving problems and that is what makes it so addicting. Problems and difficult situations are there to be solved and that s how you should approach it! How mature you are as a player will show in the most difficult situations and does not depend on how well you play! Accepting Reality If you have been lying to yourself about how good you are then you are essentially compromising your long-term mental health as a tennis player for an illusion that will allow you to feel better about yourself at this moment only. Every time you lie to yourself you hurt your self-esteem because deep down you know how good you are and how good you are not! A very common example is when players start a match playing poorly and then stop trying. If you don t try you can always use that as an excuse afterwards and it does not hurt as much as trying hard and still loosing! Once you accept reality and your true playing level, you can really start to turn things around and feel better about yourself and your tennis game! People will respect you for being honest with yourself and accepting your limitations and weaknesses as a tennis player! Embracing Adversity Adversity will help you grow as a tennis player if you have the right attitude about it. Successful people in general realize that they will face adversity and challenges in any difficult endeavour like Tennis, and they also realize that you can only grow if you face adversity. Too many players on the other hand try to avoid adversity at all costs and interpret it as a negative thing. Imagine a scenario where you are playing a match in windy conditions. People that are afraid of adversity might think: This wind is terrible. I can t play properly. It is no fun to play in this wind etc. This stems from the belief that adversity is a bad thing. Another player on the other hand might think: This wind is difficult. I am going to try to handle it better than my opponent and next time I play in the wind I will have better skills at dealing with it. Players with this kind of an attitude actually enjoy the challenge of doing their best in these challenging conditions! 12

13 The difference here is that the second player embraces the adversity and uses it in his favour, which is obviously the better option. As we all know this is difficult to do and therefore it is something we should practice on a regular basis! Another thing to keep in mind with adversity is that you want to develop an attitude where you expect things to go wrong because things will always go wrong. If you expect things to run smoothly then you will be disappointed most of the time and that can kill your motivation. Instead you expect anything and everything to go wrong and then you are happy if some of those things end up not going wrong! Take Responsibility Change it, love it, or leave it is a great motto that I highly recommend you follow! Let s look at the common example of windy conditions for example. If you want to change it the only option, even though usually unrealistic, would be to play indoors. To leave it would mean not to play at all in this case. The last and best option would be to love it and look at it as a great opportunity to practice playing in the wind for your next tournament with windy conditions! Whining about it is the worst alternative and unfortunately the one that too many players choose! Perspective Try to keep the perspective about what is going on. Your ego can get hurt on the tennis court but you will not die so do not react as if you are going to die! Is it really that bad if you played a poor match? Don t you think people have better things to do than talk about the fact that you played a poor match? Many of you have probably heard about these attitudes and have been told that this is how you should think about the game. Let me remind you one more time that the key is to practice these attitudes over and over on a regular basis until they become a part of you! Action Steps For A Better Attitude: Become Aware Of Your Mental Problems Replace Bad Thought Patterns With Good Ones Try To Copy The Attitudes Of Great Champions Like Nadal Learn To Love The Challenge And The Hard Work Realize That Phases Of Stagnation Are Part Of The Developmental Process Focus On Solving Problems That Is Where The Fun Comes From! Be Realistic About Your Playing Level Think: Change It, Love It, Or Leave It Regularly Put Things In Perspective It s Just A Game 5. Fear On The Tennis Court 13

14 Fear plays a big role in Tennis so let s have a look at some of the most common fears on the tennis court. Fear Of Embarassment This usually happens when you play with better players or players whose judgement is important to you. Another situation would be when people that you care about are watching your match. Basically you are putting pressure on yourself and in general nobody plays well under extreme pressure. Top players with good mental attitudes like Rafael Nadal (yes there are top players with rather poor attitudes) do not build up that much pressure in their head in the first place. They have internalized the idea that all they can do is focus on their game and try their best. Not making excuses on a day when you are playing really poorly is a great way to practice a good mental attitude! As long as your self-worth is dependent on your tennis results the fear will not go away! The subconscious belief that you will only be accepted and respected if you do well is the root of the problem! In my opinion overcoming fear is a lot more impressive than talent and it is something that every tennis player can strive for! The player that can simply accept bad shots and move on shows real mental strength! Most likely the other players around you are way too worried about their own problems and don t even realize whether or not you are playing well! A bad match that you played is something that people forget quickly but if you keep making excuses about it people will not forget that as quickly! Once you understand the processes that are making you frustrated on the tennis court it will still take a while until things change but understanding the root of the problem is the first step forward! Reciting these phrases in your head often and writing them down usually helps: - It is ridiculous to be afraid of playing a bad tennis match. One week from now no one will even remember this and I will play lots more in the future! - Playing bad in front of people should not worry me because the people watching all play Tennis as well and know how difficult this game is! - Tennis is a game and it is not about life and death. My parents and friends will still love me after a bad match regardless! The end goal is to develop a better attitude that will get rid off the sources of the fear and ultimately make you less dependent on recognition and acknowledgement from others! 14

15 The idea of loosing even though you tried your best often scares people so instead they stop trying. This is very common with really talented players. These players know that others expect them to win and feel the pressure. Giving up is a short-term safety mechanism for them but leads to more psychological pain down the road If your performance does not match up with your expectations there are only two solutions: #1: You train harder and/or smarter. #2: You lower your expectations! Fear Of Winning Many players are actually afraid of winning for certain psychological reasons. These players usually have some psychological need that they are trying to fulfil that might not be fulfilled when they win. Think of the super talented player that beats everyone in practice but can t seem to get it done in the match. Now there could me many reasons for this but generally there is a feeling of not being worthy to win on a very deep subconscious level. This could be based on the need to be liked by your opponents and practice partners or it could simply be based on the fact that the player is not at peace with himself and who he is and therefore does not believe he deserves to win. Wanting to be liked by your opponent often is an issue when you play a good friend or someone that has been helping you with your game. In these situations you could be by far the better player but your subconscious mind will stop you from destroying your opponent because you want to be liked by that person. If you think you might be one of those players that fears to win then you have some serious work to do on the mental side. There are many strategies to deal with this though and one of them is using positive affirmations, which we will talk about later in this book. Visualizing yourself actually winning is something that could also help in these situations. Fear Of Failure A lot of players draw out terrible consequences in their head if they were to lose an important match. This oftentimes leads to a strong fear of failure. Again this issue revolves around the idea that the player fears what others might think about them if they perform poorly. We are social animals and we all crave social approval to a certain extent and in our society it is of course true that being a winner leads to social approval. Nevertheless we tend to exaggerate the consequences that wins or losses will have in regards to what our peers think of us. People are not going to think any worse of you just because you lost an important tennis match. People will think worse of you though if you behave inappropriately while losing that tennis match! Fear Of Letting People Down 15

16 Many players also have the fear of letting people down. Usually this revolves around family members, your coach, and/or your teammates. This fear, like all the other fears, can really hinder your performance and you can overcome it by realizing that the people closest to you will still love and support you even if you lose a couple of tennis matches! This of course can be difficult when they make you feel otherwise. Oftentimes the people around you have certain habits that they are not even aware of that make you feel like you might not be loved or respected if you perform poorly. The best way to deal with this is usually to talk to the people around you and how their behaviour makes you feel. Oftentimes this can resolve a lot of problems! Feeling The Pressure Before A Big Win Oftentimes players get tight just before beating a player that is ranked significantly higher. If you feel this fear you should remind yourself that you would have begged to be in this situation before the match. This chance of beating a higher ranked player is something that you strive for and should be excited about! It is a gift. Would you be happier if you were down a set and a break? Overcoming Fear: There are different strategies that can be used to overcome your fears on the tennis court. Overall I believe that confronting your fears is the most effective way to overcoming your fears. Basically you want to face the situation and say to yourself: Is the outcome that I fear really that bad? Ideally you put yourself in the situation that you fear to realize that it is not that bad after all. So if you fear looking bad in front of others when you shank shots for example, then I would recommend that you go out next time and actually shank a few on purpose in order to reassure yourself that nothing truly bad really happens and your tennis friends will still like you. This is of course a radical approach that may or may not be suitable for all of you but it usually works really well! Action Steps - Fear On The Court: Practice Not Making Excuses When You Are Playing Poorly Tell Yourself Regularly: My Self-Worth Is Not Dependent On My Tennis Results Show Mental Strength By Accepting Bad Shots And Moving On If You Are Very Frustrated Look At Your Options: 1. Train Harder/Smarter 2. Lower Expectations Realize That It Is A Gift To Be In Pressure Situations Talk To The People Around You If They Give You The Feeling That You Will Not Be Loved/Respected When You Perform Poorly Think about your fear. Is the feared outcome really that bad? 6. Controlling Anger 16

17 Should you let your anger out or keep it in? That is a very common question among tennis players and something I want to address here in detail. My opinion on this is that throwing your racket or letting your anger out in general is not a useful strategy on the tennis court. Studies have shown that your anger level does not go down quick enough after an outburst so that it wouldn t influence the next shot. So the real reason you don t want to yell and throw your racket is the fact that you will not be able to calm down and concentrate on the next shot and your game plan for the next point. Another possibly even more important factor is the fact that if you do let your anger out you are basically reinforcing the idea that making bad errors and playing poor Tennis is a really bad thing. As you know already from this report one of the keys for a long-term healthy attitude towards the game is to realize that it is in fact only a game and that your feeling of self-worthiness should not depend on how well you play Tennis. Another big consideration is the fact that if you are really angry you will not be able to learn from your mistakes and properly analyze why you made them. Learning from mistakes is the key to improving though! In fact I am pretty certain that letting your anger out will only increase it. Instead you should try to stay calm, take a deep breath and analyze your mistakes. The best way to deal with anger in my opinion is anger control. The first thing you do is realize that the feeling of anger is coming up in you. You then try to stay objective and think about why you are getting angry. 3 common causes: 1. Not meeting expectations. This can lead to depressive thoughts and feelings about your tennis game. Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic? 2. Trying to show the opponent and people watching that you usually play better. This is also a very common cause for anger outbursts. It is a form of protecting your ego but in the long-run this is negative for your confidence and feeling of self-worth as a tennis player! 3. Trying to show that you are very ambitious. Again players try to impress others in this case which makes things only worse Always keep in mind that the feeling of anger will go away eventually! If you stay calm, take a deep breath and try to focus on the next point, the feeling will go away much quicker than if you let your anger out freely! Many players make it easy on themselves by saying that they have always been like that and can not change. That is non-sense. If you want to change you can change but it takes work and dedication! 17

18 If you plan on playing Tennis for the rest of your life then I highly recommend that you consider making the effort to get rid off the unrealistic expectations and habits that you have! Strategies For Dealing With Anger: 1. Bringing Attention Back To The Present Moment The number 1 strategy for dealing with anger is to bring your attention back to the present moment and focus on the next point instead of ruminating in your negative though patterns. Every time you start going on in your head with negativity you should try to refocus on the next point and what you want to do. 2. Use Breathing In order to get back to the present moment and the task at hand it can be extremely helpful to focus on your breathing. Whenever you get angry and negative thoughts pop up in your head you should focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out and focus on the air going in and out of your lungs. This can be really effective and I highly recommend practicing this on a regular basis! 3. Use A Sense Of Humor Smiling is a great way to get rid off your anger. Great players can smile about difficult situations on the tennis court. Especially when bad luck hits them, these players tend to smile rather than explode on the court and that shows to the outside world that they are not really phased by bad luck. After all it is just one match in a long career! Routines The Key To Emotional Balance On The Court! Routines are a great way to make sure that you stay on track and avoid a build up of too much anger. In my opinion it is very important to develop a routine that you consistently follow inbetween points. This will help you tremendously to stay in control of your emotions. A common and recommended routine is walking to the back fence and picking your strings after every single point. You want to make sure that your eyes are not wandering around! Björn Borg: When I was young I was like John McEnroe or worse. I was constantly screaming and throwing my racket. When I was thirteen my club excluded me from competition for 6 months because of that and my parents didn t let me play at all for six months. After that I never said a word on the tennis court. I still get upset but I keep it under control and to myself. Another famous example is Roger Federer. He used to be very similar in his youth and look at him now. This shows us that it is possible to change your attitude as a tennis player! Federer has developed routines in between points that he sticks to in almost all cases and they have proven to be extremely effective for him. 18

19 I also recommend that you develop a routine before every match where you sit down in a quiet place and think about what you want to accomplish. Controlling The Conversations With Yourself Once you realize where the anger comes from, you can move on and start to control the conversations that you have with yourself Example 1: You are practicing under bad conditions. It is windy and the weather is just bad. If you would usually start looking for excuses at this point ( this weather doesn t allow good points etc.) then you now say stop to yourself and rephrase the conversation in your head to the following: Now I have the chance to practice playing under poor conditions which is something that will certainly happen in tournaments in the future Example 2: You hit a great forehand that would usually go in but the wind lets it go out. Usually you would complain about your bad luck at this point. Change the conversation to the following: Bad luck is part of the game just like good luck. In the long run I will win most points if I hit that shot in that situation so I did the right thing and should be satisfied with myself! If you manage to deal with bad luck better than your opponents then bad luck is actually an advantage for you because the amount of bad luck and good luck always evens out in the long run! Every athlete has conversations going on in his head. The best athletes manage to control them in the right direction and avoid overly negative conversations in their head! Make a list of typical situations that cause you to have negative conversations in your head. On the other side put what the conversation should be like and have a look at this paper very often! I recommend you go ahead and do that right now. Stop reading and write this down to get the ball rolling before you continue! A perfect executed stroke can go out and a poorly executed stroke can become a winner because of luck. That is perfectly normal and a part of the game so get used to it! Positive thinking is not the answer! If I tell myself that I will win the next point I am creating an expectation that I do not have full control over. I could execute everything perfectly and still loose the point! Instead of thinking I am going to win this point you should think like this: I am going to prepare in the best possible manner for this point and try my absolute best to win it. That way I have the best possible chance to win it and I can be satisfied either way! 19

20 There is no way around working on yourself and that includes your character. Getting rid off unrealistic expectations and not making your self-worth dependent on your tennis performance is something that needs to be practised over and over by everybody! You will often have the most fun when you are playing really well but you can learn and improve the most when you are not playing well. Look at this as an opportunity! Performance My only goal can be to try my best. Where that takes me I cannot influence. I want to get rid off result-oriented expectations. The only expectation I have is to prepare as well as possible, try my absolute best and take the end-result lightly Surroundings Distractions and bad conditions are a part of the game. In order to be able to deal with bad conditions you should go ahead and practice in bad conditions sometimes! Play every point 100% no matter what happened before Success is when you tried your absolute best and you were focused on improving rather than winning. Only the players that truly believe in this can find real peace on the tennis court in my opinion! Action Steps Controlling Anger When Anger Comes Up Stay Cool And Ask Yourself Where It Is Coming From Stay Calm, Take A Deep Breath, And Focus On The Next Point Develop A Routine To Control Your Emotions Between Points Learn To Control The Conversations With Yourself Between Points Make A List Of Typical Negative Conversations And Develop A List Of What The Conversations In Your Head Should Be Instead Focus On What You Can Control Trying Your Best Practice In Bad Conditions (Noisy, Windy, etc.) Again: It is extremely difficult to change your habits and your thought patterns for the long-run. Repetition is the key with these processes just like it is with your stroke technique! You have to repeat the new thought patterns and attitudes over and over until they become a part of you! 7. The Satisfied Versus The Unsatisfied Tennis Player Below is a comparison that I call the satisfied tennis player vs. the unsatisfied tennis player. I think it gives an excellent overview of what attitudes lead to satisfaction on the tennis court and what attitudes lead to frustration. I got the idea for this from one of Germany s leading golf instructors, Oliver Heuler. 20

21 The Satisfied Tennisplayer Plays because he enjoys the game and the process Is highly self-motivated Is disciplined Is not too affected by stagnation because he knows its part of the game Enjoys practice and the process of getting better Is curious and wants to learn about the game Is honest with himself and others Does what he says in regards to his tennis (work more/harder etc.) Takes responsibility for his actions Always has a plan for what he wants to work on next Stays relaxed under pressure Can concentrate well but also relax when necessary Is not affected by bad luck and good luck Likes to solve problems on the court Wishes other players success Compares himself to himself Has solid self-confidence Knows his limits as a player Accepts positive criticism and starts working on himself Can separate tennis from his sense of selfworth Wants to work hard to respect himself The Unsatisfied Tennisplayer Plays for success and recognition from others Has to be pushed Wants quick success and fun Looses motivation quickly when things aren t going well Doesn t like to practice and usually just wants to play instead Just wants the results and doesn t care about understanding the process Lies to himself and sometimes others Says he wants to change but never does Is constantly looking for excuses Always has an excuse for why he didn t perform Gets real tense under pressure Gets distracted easily but has trouble relaxing and constantly thinks about tennis Always complains about bad luck Problems make him nervous and anxious Envies successful players and often badmouthes them Compares himself to others Easily looses confidence Overestimates his capabilities Always tries to defend when criticized Identifies with his tennis performance and tennis performance influences his whole life Wants to get respect from other players and spectators 8. Goals Goals can be an important part of your motivation. When you set yourself goals you need to be very clear about why you want to achieve a certain goal. Behind every goal there is an underlying motivation or need that you are trying to fulfil. It can be very helpful if you become aware of the particular need that you are trying to fulfil with your goal! Having a clear goal and knowing why you are pursuing that particular goal is what will keep you going when times get tough. I usually recommend for my students to write down what their particular goals are and why exactly these goals motivate them. This will give you clarity and I highly recommend that you do the same. 21

22 Generally in Tennis, if you set yourself goals you want to focus on process-oriented goals and not performance goals. This gives you control over the outcome. Example: In the next 10 matches I want to have a first serve percentage of at least 60%. Or: I want to make no more than 1 unforced error per service game. A not so great goal in my opinion would be to become the number 1 player on your team. Why is this not such a great goal? The result in this case is to a certain degree outside of your control. Therefore you could do everything right and still not accomplish your goal, simply because another player performed extremely well. This then can lead to unmet expectations and unnecessary frustrations. Once you figure out your process-oriented goals, you go ahead and solely focus on the necessary tasks to accomplish them. A great goal for a match could be: stay calm after every point, follow the same routine and prepare as well as possible for the next point. Then accept the outcome of that point with ease. So again the idea is to enjoy the process and not focus too much on the outcome. If you can enjoy just hitting a good shot then you can have long-lasting motivation in this game. If you need to win matches or reach certain milestones for your satisfaction then you will struggle a lot in the long run! Routines Again Process-oriented goals can also be applied with your routines and in fact the following goals/challenges are some of my favourite tools when working with players on the mental aspect of the game! The first goal/challenge I give my students is: No commenting after every single point. If you are one of those players that like to comment out loud what you think, then set yourself the goal to not do that for one game first, then for one set, and finally for an entire match! This is a lot more difficult then you probably think right now. Players that are used to commenting after bad shots, struggle a lot if I challenge them not to comment for just one game. Going for one entire set without commenting any of their shots is usually an impossible goal for these players. Nevertheless, once they take this on as a challenge and get better at it, they quickly realize that they are now more poised and focused on the court, which results in a better performance and more satisfaction while playing! The next goal/challenge I give players is: Keep the same body language after every point no matter if you won it or not. This is also very difficult. Most players are used to display negative body language after every lost point, oftentimes without being aware of this. When 22