Th Athr Chronicl Th Imaginar y Alt r nat His t or y of t h St ampunk Empir From Tusday Jun 10, 2014 t o, Tusday Jun 24, 2014 Qun Victoria opns th Grat Exhibition in Th Crystal Palac in Hyd Park, London, May of 1851. Th Grat Exhibition Attndd by Princ Albrt and Qun Victoria! Th Grat Exhibition of th Works of Industry of all Nations or Th Grat Exhibition is currntly taking plac in Hyd Park, London, it bgan 1 May and is schduld to continu until 11 Octobr 1851. It is th first fair xhibition of cultur and industry, organizd by Hnry Col and Princ Albrt himslf, husband of our rigning monarch, Qun Victoria. This rportr was on th scn to witnss th marvls that ar currntly taking plac, on of which is th magnificnt Crystal Palac, built as a tmporary housing structur for th fair by on Josph Paxton. Apparntly, h drw upon on of his prvious dsigns for grnhouss for th sixth Duk of Dvonshir, and th sparkling glass-palac is mant to signify Man s triumph ovr Natur. Th Fair is an opn forum for countris around th world to display thir accomplishmnts and pursu th rol of Industrial World Ladr. According to Princ Albrt, Th British xhibits at th Grat Exhibition hold th lad in almost vry fild whr strngth, durability, utility and quality wr concrnd, whthr in iron and stl, machinry or txtils. H blivs that England s rol at th fair is to display a bttr futur, particularly through modrn invntion and innovation. H mad it clar that Europ has just mrgd from a difficult priod of social uphaval, and it is England s duty to lad th way forward in th spirit of pac and coopration. This rportr notd that grat works of art wr givn priority placmnts at th Fair, but on a whol tchnology and working machinry displays ar vry popular, spcially th working xhibits. Th lctric tlgraph booth had an intrminably long lin, but in th mantim fair-gors could witnss an ntir procss of cotton production from spinning to finishd cloth. Th Koh-iNoor, th world s biggst known diamond is currntly on display (surroundd by armd guards of cours.) Th Amrica s Cup yachting vnt bgan with an xciting rac that had th crowds chring. Th Tmpst prognosticator, a baromtr utilizing lchs, was put to th tst. And firarms manufacturr Samul Colt dmonstratd his prototyp for th 1851 Colt Navy and also his oldr Walkr and Dragoon rvolvrs in a wondrful mockbattl that had all of th young mns blood pumping. Admission fs ar apparntly bringing in a hfty sum, as no lss than four million visitors hav flockd to Th Grat Exhibition thus far, and th fair is not du to cas for anothr four months! As a ky financial contributor, this rportr soundd out Princ Albrt as to what h intndd to do with th procds from his prsonal projct. H spculatd that England could crtainly us a fw mor musums, prhaps Scinc and Natural History. This rportr was thrilld to b in attndanc at such a prstigious vnt, alongsid such prstigious individuals! Bsids our own Princ Albrt, a numbr of notworthy figurs wr sn strolling th byways of th Crystal Palac alongsid th agr masss. For xampl, Charls Darwin was spid opnly objcting to th us of lchs in th Tmpst Prognosticator. Mmbrs of th Orléanist Royal Family wr sn consuming ics with vry vidnc of njoymnt. Finally, th writrs Charlott Brontë, Charls Dickns, Lwis Carroll, Gorg Eliot and Alfrd Tnnyson wr all witnssd in a hot dbat, ranging across vry topic undr th sun, and culminating in a show of brothrly fllowship that had thm rading xcrpts from thir blovd works to th crowds. In short, dar radrs, do not allow yourslf to miss this vnt: bring along th spous and childrn, listn to th music, witnss th awards, chat with forign dignitaris and, prchanc, gt a glimps of Hr Majsty th Qun supporting hr husband in this inarguably succssful world-vnt! Visitors from across th glob halt at th ntranc to Paxton s Crystal Palac and marvl at Man s ingnuity. Paxton s Crystal Palac nclosd thr fullgrown trs from Hyd Park.
Th gardn of St. John nxt to th Grand Priory Church. Stampunk Ros Gardn Dazzls Th Uppr Class! Th lgant gardn of St John, nxt to th Grand Priory Church, has thus far faturd nothing mor than fragrant and haling plants around a cntral fountain. Howvr, today th had gardnr in charg of tnding th lawns and gardns arrivd for his morning s work to discovr a bd of ntirly nw brd of ross had takn root. Th world s first brd of mchanical ross, blooms mad ntirly out of mchanical parts, hav bn sightd in London! This rportr was calld to th scn and took th first photographs of this strang phnomnon. Th ross thmslvs ar mastrworks of art, ach ptal curvd and hatd brass, th stms and lav platd coppr and wirs. Tiny gars ar constantly whirring, pumping som sort of clar hydraulic fluid from th ground into th stm. Th bud appars to b mainly a singl larg gar, and as it turns som sort of command is rcivd that gradually unfurls lavs and mor ptals which hav bn tightly wrappd around a cylindrical stamn. Onc th bloom is in it s matur stag, two tiny pips mrg from its sid and blch a cloud of stam, which continus until th flowr rachs th apx of its bloom. Thn, th ptals bgin to dtach thmslvs via bolts and wirs and will ithr drop from th stm or b r-wrappd around th stamn. Ths mastrworks of chmical nginring ar an astonishing fat of blnding th biological and th mchanical. This rportr immdiatly st out to discovr th idntity of th gnius who cratd ths mchanical marvls. Nw Mchanical Ross Purify London s Air Aftr th blossoms wr analysd by a lading scintist, a miraculous bnfit to ths nw ross was discovrd. Th blossoms actually consum carbon dioxid! And, in thir matur stag, th stam that thy xud is actually frsh oxygn! This rportr was spchlss as th gardn filld with a brif haz, all of th ross mitting fums at onc, that actually clard th gnral sooty, txturd quality of London s air into purifid brzs on might actually xpct to find in a gardn! This rportr sarchd th ranks of St. Johns, intrrogating th prists and wkly worshipprs, th maids and choir boys, th mournrs and tourists, until th ldst son of th cook who maks th mals for th rsidnt prists was caught ambling through th gardn at twilight. This rportr happnd to duck bhind th cloistr walls in tim to witnss this young man rach down with th tinist scrw drivr and plirs that could b imagind, and mak a small adjustmnt to on of th blossoms. Wll, radrs, you can bliv I st about him lik a shot! Th young man was born Edmund Finchly, and h was dstind to bcom th nxt chif cook at St. John s. Howvr, Edmund is clarly a born tinkrr, and his fascination with th mchanics of growing plants, th procsss of photosynthsis that smingly could not b rproducd in machins, drov him to crat th bd of mchanical flowrs. Whn h compltd his first thr functional blossoms (h chos to rprsnt th thr stags of growth of a ros: a bud, a matur blossom, and a flowring bloom about to droop) Edmund was so thrilld with his succss that h st right out to tst his hypothss by planting thm in ral soil, to nsur that his machins would function corrctly, and tak root. It only occurrd to him aftr h had ovrturnd an ntir flowr bd that what h had don could b construd as trspassing, vandalism, and possibly vn dscration of holy ground. H was too trrifid to undo his actions, for far h would b caught and his fathr would los his long-tim position at th Church. This rportr had words with th authoritis rgarding Edmund Finchly s punishmnt, and Snior Finchly will not b losing his position, and Scotland Yard was not involvd in ths ptty trspasss that rsultd in such a wondrful gift. Th traffic surrounding St. John s has tripld in th last fw days as agr citizns flock to th gardn to s ths nw mchanical wondrs for thmslvs. Edmund Finchly is st to rciv an lvation in his status as h had bn accptd into th Guild of Tinkrrs, and has an appointmnt at Buckingham Palac to prsnt on of his pottd miracls to Hr Majsty himslf. According to Edmund Finchly, if givn fr rign by th city officials, h has grat plans for rooftop gardns throughout London, ach on filld with his mchanical ross, which rquir vry littl soil, watr, or car. H hops his mchanical bautis will aid in purifying London s air, in th hops of a gnral improvmnt in th citizns ovrall halth and longvity. Edmund Finchly s amazing mchanical blooms.
Th Athr Rviw Of Books A Study In Tmpranc, By Ichabod Tmpranc C lip-clop. Clip-Clop. Clip-Clop. Clip-Clop. This is th sound of horss hoovs on pavmnt as our magic pumpkin pulls forward at a trot. I hat to lt you opn th door for Miss Plumtartt, sir, I say to th pault clad outdoor host. I prfr to do that myslf. Oi suhtainly caun t blams y for that, suh, rplis th magnificnt old doorman. owvr, as Oi shall b holding th door, you sir, shall njoy th privilg of assisting th bautiful young woman into th carriag with your own lucky hands thn, h? says th charming gnt with a wink. Hy! That sounds rally good to m, sir. Thanks! Just as Miss Plumtartt stps insid th carriag, normous hat and all, my doorman frind gts a shockd look upon his mug as his jaw drops opn and his ys grow as larg as ta saucrs. An itchy tingling just insid th bas of my skull tlls my body to drop and duck. My instincts hav alrady assrtd thmslvs upon my body of thir own fr will bfor thr is a chanc for a thought to pass btwn my ars. That is fortunat; othrwis, a giant blad of stl would hav clavd itslf into a position btwn my ars. I narrowly scap th blow of a trmndous, broad-bladd scimitar as it smashs into th carriag whr my had was innocntly awaiting. My faild, cranial bifurcation attmpt cam from a most outragously appointd chap. H wars th split-tod boots of an Aurintal scrt assassin. H complmnts this with th voluminous pants of th Arabian Pninsula, th shirt of th buccanr and th war paint of th Amrican Indian. It is th India Indian haddrss that adorns his had. This is a wound up pil of shiny yllow cloth. I think it is rfrrd to as a Tur-bahn. At this momnt, h is trying to fr his big Eastrn wapon from whr it has bcom stuck in th woodwork of th Landau. I avail myslf th opportunity to offr dfnc of myslf sinc this fllow apparntly mans to do m harm. My upprcut starts from th cobbls and dos not nd until it is wll past th point of contact with my not so chummy frind s chin. It is unfortunat that I am unabl to stop his mat from kicking m in th ar. As I am spun away from th carriag by th blow I s that my first intrudr has svral mats. Thy ar all drssd in th sam mannr as th first, or at last to a crtain xtnt. On wars th ovr th kn boots of som idalizd fantasy pyrat blow his Nippons armor and Chrok Indian had drss. Thir chum has his had wrappd in black cloth but for a thin strip of xposur along th y lin. Har, har! Bhav yourslf, you rascal! insists my doorman frind as h clobbrs on Bucca-nnja with a stout clout. It angrs m to no nd to s him rwardd with a rturning blow that sts him havily to th pavmnt. I try to covr up and roll with th punchs and kicks that rain down upon m. Miss Plumtartt rappars in th Phaton s door to thwack a fllow with all hr might utilizing hr parasol, but bfor sh can gt in mor than a coupl of striks, anothr of th bandits has ntrd from th opposit sid of th carriag and placd a hand ovr hr lovly fac. This hand contains a foldd handkrchif that I surmis is soakd in chloroform sinc Miss Plumtartt s ys immdiatly bgin a furious fluttring and thn clos altogthr as sh slumps and is pulld back into th buggy. Anothr dvilish drvish has mountd to th box. With a hystrical war cry, h callously flings th poor cabman from his prch, and taks up th rins. Th frsh chauffur whips th brac of horss that rar up in far and panic and thn brak into an immdiat gallop. Th ruthlss kidnap gang, on with a parting kick in th fac to m, thn board thir stoln carriag and fly away down High Holbrn, hadd into th fashionabl Wstrn districts. Thy havn t got far bfor I am up and making pursuit. Thy v got Prs... I man, thy v got Miss Plumtartt! I will nvr catch thos frightnd horss on foot. I cast about to s if I can procur altrnativ transport. Thr, across th strt, I think I spy what I rquir. A Hansom cab drivr is just finishing th rwinding procss for th spring of his mchanical hors. H has just finishd struggling to gt th last fw clicks of a final rotation on th turn ky and is in th procss of rmoving th shaft of this long ky from th uppr intrsction of th cratur s hind quartrs whn I uncrmoniously knock him out of th tracs. I lowr th tail, disngag th safty lock and thn pull th rlasing lvr. Climbing up on th drivr s platform bhind th cart, I tak up th rins and work out th mchanics of ngagmnt. Two hand lvrs prsnt thmslvs with linkag travlling down and to ithr sid of my spring-loadd Palomino. Whr th on on my right xtnds upward through th coachman s platform through a mtal plat. This plat has channls fashiond into it in th shap of a capitol H. At this tim, th rod that xtnds through it is in th cntr bam. I push th lft hand lvr forward and thn follow by manouvring th opposit lvr to th lft and forward to th top of th H s high lft position. I allow my lft hand to as back into its formr stat. Th hors accpts th command and movs into a walk. Clink.. Clonk.. Clink.. Clonk.. Clink.. Clonk.. Clink.. Clonk.. Clink.. Clonk.. Clink.. Clonk.. C mon Bssi, pick it up a littl. W r in a hurry, I bg as I climb up on th back of th funny two-whld carriag/cart. I always wantd to try driving on of ths, but not undr ths circumstancs. My plas of a fastr pac fall on daf, brass ars. Th dastards ar gtting away with Miss Plumtartt! I nd to quickly work out th controls of this nginrd quin. Prhaps a pull dirctly downward upon th ratio ngagmnt lvr in conjunction with th lft lvr will ncourag th goldn girl into a trot. Clink-Clonk-Clink-Clonk-Clink-Clonk- Clink-Clonk Clink-Clonk-Clink-Clonk-Clink-Clonk- Clink-Clonk That s a littl bttr, but I nd a lot mor. So far my mchanical instincts ar working prtty wll. My nxt mov will b to push th springs holdr with my lft whil I shov th spring ngagmnt ratio rod forward halfway, across th bar and thn forward again to th top of th H s high right quadrant. With th ngagmnt of this mchanism, th cadnc of my std taks on a thr part synchronization and a dramatic incras in spd. Clinkty-Clonk! Clinkty-Clonk! Clinkty- Clonk! Clinkty-Clonk! Clinkty-Clonk! Clinkty- Clonk! Now that my frind Flickr is moving with a purpos, I concntrat on how to control hr dirctions. Th rgular pull of th rins to th lft and right sm to do th trick. W r making bttr tim, but it ain t nough by a long shot. I hav on mor stag of incrasing my pac to work through. I hop I can control this brass bauty. W ar alrady moving fastr than th rst of London s traffic and it is all I can do to control this clockwork chargr, but I gotta do, what I gotta do. I ngag th nxt acclration lvl. TinBiscuit achivs full gallop stag. Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty! Clinkty!-Clonkty!
T R r h t v i A w h Of Books A Study In Tmpranc, By Ichabod Tmpranc T H highly anticipatd Fourth Book of th widly acclaimd Tmpranc sris by Ichabod Tmpranc xplods onto th scns to dlight us with action, advntur, and romanc. Th Tmpranc Sris chronicls th journy of th main charactr Ichabod Tmpranc. Th first book, A Mattr of Tmpranc, dtails th catalyst that bgan Ichabod s grand advnturs: th passing of th Rvlatory Comt in th summr of 1869. Ichabod was on of th many folks from around th World that found thmslvs strangly affctd by th Comt s pass. H was struck with th sam knack for invntion as thousands of othrs wr. This ld to his construction of som wondrous goggls that thn ld to his srndipitous mting of Miss Prsphon Plumtartt. In th first novl, A Mattr of Tmpranc, Ichabod Tmpranc and Prsphon Plumtartt battl monstrs from anothr dimnsion that ar intnt upon th nslavmnt of our univrs., In th scond novl, A World of Tmpranc many of Earth s ladrs ar bnt on World domination. Thir lust for powr opns th way for an vil conspiracy rady to mop up th rmains of humanity. Ichabod and Prsphon shar thir odyssy with many colourful charactrs. graphic sx or violnc in his tals, and h is catgorically opposd to strong languag finding its way into his books. Howvr, as th romantic rlationship btwn Ichabod Tmpranc and Prsphon Plumtartt is always prsnt as a scondary story lin, radrs can xpct a fw light-hartd innundos! Radrs who ar nw to th Tmpranc books can div right into this fourth novl, without fling th nd to start with Novl on. Th tals ar stand-alon advnturs, and whil it might b advisabl to bgin at th start of th sris, it is crtainly not rquird in ordr to njoy ths ripping-good yarns! All of Ichabod Tmpranc s loyal followrs can tak hart: th author is finishing up th FIFTH novl in th Tmpranc sris, and w will crtainly b hr to offr radrs th scoop! A Study in Tmpranc is currntly only availabl in Kindl vrsion (s th link blow), but th print vrsion will b availabl soon! http://www.amazon.com/studytmpranc-th-advntursichabod-book/dp/b00ki8m4ki/rf=s r_1_3?i=utf8&qid=1400842553&sr=83&kywords=ichabod+tmpranc Th third novl, For th Lov of Tmpranc promiss nw battls and nw villians to fight on a plantary lvl. It has bn dscribd as is th scarist novl of th thr. Whatvr th advntur, whatvr th intrigu, th Tmpranc sris has always bn wondrfully, hoplssly Stampunk. Th author himslf dscribs Stampunk as happily-vr-aftr action romancs told in a humorous fashion. Author Ichabod Tmpranc dos not fail to dlight radrs in his fourth installmnt, whr h tams up with a famous Victorian London dtctiv for som outragous advntur! In th xcrpt alon radrs ar offrd a thrilling carriag chas, a battl with armd attackrs in forign costum, and flights of daring do as Ichabod Tmpranc and Prsphon Plumtartt rac off in th dad of night in a run-away carriag! Author Ichabod Tmpranc has always pridd himslf on maintaining a crtain standard whn it coms to his Stampunk novls: h dos not approv of Should you wish to snd a Lttr to th Editor, submit your writtn work, or offr a tip rgarding a potntial story (g. political uphaval, crim, spcial vnts, art and music) plas contact Lsli Orton at: ortonlj@hotmail.com.
T To bgin this ovrdu articl, all I can say is thank God that I can swim! Th air on th boat dck is sublim. It will b four mor hours until w rach th port in Alxandria, with nothing to do but brath in th saltinss of th Mditrranan Sa, covr th pags of my prsonal diary, and dlv into my nwst mystry novl. I v had almost a full month s rst-pr th physician s ordrs and way mor than prsonally ndd-and I am itching to gt back to ral lif. I hav flt th absolut invalid on this trip from Sa to Sa, on down th lin to Egypt. Alic has suffrd th sam mntal malais as m. Forcd R&R dos nothing for th spirit! Alas, w ar almost thr. Yt, I ow you a Part Two of my advnturs in Vnic, don t I? Carnival turnd out to b a catastroph on wings. I hav many rcommndations for you this tim around in summation of our Vntian Extravaganza. Th Floating Island Piazza is not on of thm. As if thr wrn t nough to tmpt and pull our attntion, Alic and I found ourslvs in hatd dbat ovr Athr Thory with a group of actors at Il Cioccolato that somhow culminatd in thir inviting us to a privat doings aboard th Floating Island Piazza. W knw nothing of it xcpt lor and that it was an xclusiv party with a covtd tickt. W jumpd at th chanc to s what th fuss was about. W wnt to Piazza San Marco first to kick things off th nxt night. It was lit up lik th day with bannrs strwn about announcing that it was Il Tmpo di Carnival in boldly scriptd lttrs. Th costums wr so laborat that at tims I couldn t tll who was human and whos mchanical srvant stood bsid him. Not to mntion that th rul of thumb during Carnival is th rich drssing in rags with th poor upstaging thir bttrs. It s a tast of frdom from th constraints of all social strata, whthr conomic, gndr, or class basd. Th smll of rotting ggs upst in th allyways mixd with havily prfumd shlls throughout th city, a tim honord tradition amongst th Vntians. S a prtty lady, so th lgnd gos; prsnt hr with a scntd gg. Th latr it gts, th mor likly th lady is to b pltd with th gg hrslf. Th hls of Alic s shos wr cakd with tiny whit rmnants that crackd and crunchd whrvr sh stppd. Th hm of my rob bcam ncrustd with sticky yolk. W stayd until th patrons and thir bhavior bcam all too familiar to tolrat. Thr wr plnty of clbrations to b had and our nxt stop on th trail was th famd Albrgo Forlli. Th hotl offrd its own brand of rvlry. Music spilld from th windows of th scond floor ballroom, with gusts trickling in and out of its diminutiv lobby in spurts throughout th night. Imagologists wr out in forc, snapping up momnt aftr ludicrous momnt with thir nw fangld pictur boxs. Th nxt day vry papr from La Dolc Vita di Vnzia to La Scandalosa would hav th pick of th littr in ybrow raising matrial. W sippd champagn bought by two mn drssd as purvyors of dark magic and bid our tim, until th campanil bll tolld th lvn o clock hour. Amlia-w hav to go! Th Piazza lifts off at lvn thirty! W mad it by th skin of our tth. Th Floating Island Piazza was a sit to bhold. It was tthrd to a massiv blimp abov and sat, for th momnt, hovring ovr th watr adjacnt to th sands of th Lido. A rickty Travl Vnic, Italy, Part 2 By Amlia Own Kibby woodn dock that crakd with ag ld from th narrow boardwalk of th mainland out to th watr whr a long ropd laddr dangld down from it. Alic and I took on look at th thing and guffawd. W wr xpctd to climb up a rop to that? That was an normous construct dsignd to rsmbl a pic of land approximatly th sam siz as on of Italy s chrishd piazzas. From my position, all I could s was th back sids of buildings, a fw trs, and th mtal undrstructur that supportd it all. Th night air did nothing to softn th bittr tang manating from its bas. Whil I stood in my uncrtainty half a dozn partygors scrambld up th laddr, som fifty ft or so into th air. It was a prilous affair but thy all managd just fin, gathring skirts and robs, tottring on hl tippd shos as thy wr. Masks wrn t vn rmovd for th mission. I stld my nrvs. If thos drunkn fools could do it, why couldn t I sobr? Whn I lookd ovr at Alic, sh was alrady marching hr way across th dock. I shruggd and ran aftr hr. Th surfac of th Floating Island was xtraordinary. Thr was bauty in its insanity and I found myslf ntrancd by its nvirons. It had all of th typical Carnival activitis: acrobats, puppt shows (which always turnd into a sals pitch for on halth rmdy or othr), dancing, and drinking. Thr wr also acts of pur romanc and plasur. Th cntr courtyard containd a gardn of tall trs and flora, with a pathway that wov throughout in th cntr and flat surfacd stons to sit on placd priodically along th way. Ros ptals carptd th gardn floor. Pal pink ladis stockings wr strwn about, a trail of silk lading up to th trs, whr ovrsizd swings with vlvt tuftd sats hung from thick branchs. I would blush if I had to rval what was going on thr. Th blimp abov gav a shuddr and w wr off, soaring high into th cobalt sky. Insid, card gams of all sorts ragd on. Alic took a bit of coin from vry man at hr tabl. I hld my own. Th costumd duo of Lonardo da Vinci and his Mona Lisa took in nough mony to upgrad our nxt hotl stay from budgt to modrat. Most xcllnt! Th actors mad us laugh. Drama on a stick, thy wr! Thir prsonalitis wr so outragous that it was difficult to tll who was putting on a prformanc and who was just bing thir candid slf. Whn th firworks bgan with a rsounding thump th xplosion startld vryon. En mass, w troupd back out to th gardn courtyard to hav a look. Bursts of gold, grn, and blu cascadd down in a hailstorm of light that crowdd th sky abov us. Oohs and ahs filtrd through th crowd. Th ntir sky was awash with color. Th Floating Island sat in a prfct position to witnss th glory of Vnic s grandst clbration. Too prfct, that is. Th words straight from Alic s lips wr such: Th brz is blowing thos sparks straight for us. Isn t that dangrous? Momnts latr vryon aboard th Floating Island Piazza found out xactly how dangrous. An rrant bit of firwork fizzd straight into th sid of th blimp with nough forc to tar a small hol in it. W flt immdiat ramifications. Th structur gav an uncomfortabl lurch. Thos still sobr nough turnd to on anothr in alarm. Alic and I lookd up in tim to witnss th blimp list to its starboard sid. Bfor our vry ys- it saggd! Things happnd quickly aftr that. Th blimp hoisting us up fll and took us with it. Mn and womn scramd as th Floating Piazza plummtd toward th lagoon. Thr was barly any tim to ract. Crtainly not nough to prvnt th unprvntabl. For w wr on a massiv structur that was not built to floatquit ironic, givn its nam. Fiftn longatd sconds latr th Piazza hit th watr with a splash massiv nough to knock about any craft that was within rang and snd it sailing wayward. Thos in th gardn courtyard clung to trs and thos without hung from scond floor windows, shouting for hlp. I plungd straight into th dark watrs. Thank God for bing a formidabl swimmr. All out panic thratnd my safty mor than anything ls. That, and th fact that momnts aftr I was pitchd into th lagoon from th dropping lviathan it cam crashing down bhind m. I was damn lucky not to b burid undr it and suckd down with it. Luckily, I was scoopd up by on of th many boats that flockd back to our aid. I climbd aboard th vssl ft and lgs first, hoisting myslf up and ovr th dg without prambl or dignity. Arms with th strngth of a warrior hlpd to haul m in, havy soddn costum, wig, and all. I sputtrd and coughd, a fit of panic ovrcoming m vn in my apparnt rscu. It took plnty of cajoling to assur m that I was truly alright. Th scn was macabr, I will tll you. Th lagoon was littrd with popl, organza buttrfly s wings, colorful masks vrything incongrunt for on a.m. on an April night in Vnic. Thr wr shouts of trror and of drunkn laughtr-for undrstand that an inbriat has no ida of th dangr that h is in- boats of all typ swarming th accidnt, and th apparanc of th authoritis onc word of th catastroph got out. Sinc I sustaind no noticabl injuris in th fall I usd my two hands to hlp pull othrs out of th watr. Th lion s shar of Carnival costums, brilliant and xquisit, wr shruggd off and lft bhind to sink to th bottom of th lagoon. Forty-nin citizns of th north wr pulld to safty that night. Th nxt thing I knw I wok up in a bd in th Ospdal di Santi. Alic was fin, non th wors for braking hr right arm in th fall, and still as fisty as can b. Hnc our unxpctd month long sojourn aboard th Mastro Antonio. What w wnt through was traumatic, yt I am itching to gt back to action and advntur. I will forc myslf not to bcom afraid of th watr. Bing surroundd by it now maks my hart rac hr and thr unxpctdly, but I rfus to giv in to th panic. W ar aliv, with scratchs that will hal in tim. Grc is around th cornr, just aftr our xpdition to th Vally of th Kings. Tally ho, radrs! Hr ar my final rcommndations for Vnic: Il Cioccolato- A must for any visitor! Albrgo Danili- Dlux, a bautiful splurg. Albrgo Flic- Good for thos on a budgt. Not th shard bathroom facilitis. On pr floor. Donatlla dssrt win found at vry rstaurant worth its salt- Outstanding. Carnival- To b xprincd by vryon that has th opportunity. On trra firma, mind you.