You re the School Newspaper Editor!

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1 Editing & Proofreading 1 You re the School Newspaper Editor! Your friend, Mia, has written a great article. You want to publish it in the school paper. However, you can see that she made some mistakes. Insert two missing commas. Fix three run-on sentences. Fix three misspelled words. Correct two other errors. Use the proofreading symbols shown below. Skateboard Problem by Mia Mallone Use commas to separate all items in a series. I wore a hat, a scarf, and a coat. Correct run-on sentences by adding a period at the end of the first complete thought. Then use a capital letter to begin the first word of the second complete thought. Run-on sentence: Jim went to the store he bought jam. Correct: Jim went to the store. He bought jam. I like to ride on my skateboard. The probem is that our town is not friendly to skateboarders. We are not allowed to ride on the street. We are also not allowed to ride on the sidewalk. Some people can praktice in their driveways many people who live in apartments can t. The owners of most apartmints not allow skateboarders on their property. Even the town park doesn t allow skateboarders. This seems unfair since the park allows bikes in-line skaters and roller skaters. I think that our town park should include a place for skateboarders we would not need to use the entire park. One section would be fine. It could be paved for skateboarders to use. I have made a petition to get the park to add a a place for skateboarders Omit all interested people should sign it! 232 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 2 RDI Book 2: p. 232

2 Editing & Proofreading 2 The Groundhogs Are Waiting for You! You just wrote an essay in honor of spring. Before you hand it in for the annual essay contest, you ve got to fix a few things. Correct four personal pronoun errors. Correct two errors in capitalization. Fix one run-on sentence. Fix one other error. A Walk in the Springtime A personal pronoun can take the place of one or more nouns. The subject pronouns he, she, we, and they take the place of nouns that are subjects. Cliff and Tony led the way. They led the way. Him, her, us, and them take the place of nouns that are objects. The teacher helped Lily. The teacher helped her. The pronoun I is always capitalized. Springtime is my favorate time of the year. You don t have to spend every morning putting on a heavy coat. Your nose doesn t turn red after ten minutes outside. Although snow days are a treat, shoveling certainly isn t! Also, i slip on ice about half a dozen times every winter. Springtime is full of good things. There are flowers and days are longer. My brother and me always look for the first flowers! Him and me look for them almost every day. I love seeing birds again, too. It s like them have been on vacation now they re home. There s only one Omit thing i miss about winter. I kind of miss being able to see my breath! 2 RDI Book 2: p. 233 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 233

3 Editing & Proofreading 3 The World Series Is a Hit! The school s baseball team is releasing a newsletter about the history of baseball. James wrote this piece on the Subway Series of Make a home run and catch his mistakes! 10 words. Fix two verbs that don t agree with their subjects. two missing commas. Find one other error. Subway Series by James Starr proper nouns such as names of cities, countries, people, or plays and books: San Francisco, Australia, Mr. Robinson, The Lion King. Make sure subjects and verbs agree in number. She wants some chocolate. They want some chocolate. The year 2000 was a truly exciting year for baseball fans. That year, the World Series was called a Subway Series. This was because both the mets and the yankees is from New york City. The only other city that could have a Subway Series is chicago. Chicago s teems is the Cubs and the White Sox. In 1956, a Subway series was played in New york. There were three New york teams then. They were the yankees the Dodgers and the Giants. The mets and the yankees are popular teams. This World Omit Series was a lot of fun to watch. 234 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 2 RDI Book 2: p. 234

4 Editing & Proofreading 4 This Play Review Is Not a Hit... Yet. The drama club s president needs help with the review of a play. Before the review can go in the school paper, the mistakes need to be corrected. important words in five titles. Underline five titles. Fix one verb that doesn t agree with its subject. Fix one other error. The time is up: A Play Review by Su Chin Underline titles of plays and books: Shoebag. important words in titles of plays and books: Take the Court. even unimportant words if they are the first or last word of a title: Clue Me In! This Saturday was the opening night of Mrs. Fasta s play, the time is up. Her play is based on the novel, the clocks of howard s creek. The play is a suspenseful mystery about five teenagers in a summer camp who uncover a local mystery. All of the actors were well cast and convincing. Randolph Spears was terrific as the evil storekeeper. The set was fantastic. It was amazeing how they created the camp and Mr. Spears s store. I recommends you go see the time is up this Saturday at 7:00 p.m. If you can t catch this performance, see her next play, tales of Omit junior high. 2 RDI Book 2: p. 235 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 235

5 Editing & Proofreading 5 Where to Go and What to Do... This news article is part of the next edition of the school newspaper. You need to edit it, quickly. You don t want it to be old news, so fix it now! Correct three run-on sentences. one missing colon. the name of one place. Correct one other error. Democracy in Action by Cynthia Sanchez One way to correct a run-on sentence is to add a comma and a joining word (and, but, or) after the first complete thought. Run-on: Niki was hungry there was nothing to eat. Correction: Niki was hungry, but there was nothing to eat. Use a colon (:) before a list of people, places, or things. We saw many animals: deer, bears, and foxes. Our class trip is skeduled for next semester. Our class had good ideas we could not agree on where to go! Some of the class wanted to see a Broadway show in new york others wanted to go to the aquarium. Finally, our teacher decided we would take a vote. We all wrote one of the following on a piece of paper Broadway, aquarium, or another place. Our teacher put all the pieces of paper in an empty box. She picked two kids to help her count the votes. We all got very quiet because we really wanted to see a show others really wanted to see a big shark up close! When all the votes were counted, the trip to the aquarium won. I think it was a fair way to Omit choose. Next year, we ll go somewhere else. 236 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 2 RDI Book 2: p. 236

6 Editing & Proofreading 6 Track and Field Superstars! The school sports reviewer wrote a great story. You want to publish it, but you can see that there are mistakes. commas to set off two introductory phrases. apostrophes to two nouns to make them possessive. a proper noun. Correct one other error. Girls Track Wins Finals by Amy Engel Use commas after most introductory phrases: After a long and tiring run, we went home. On Friday, he will have a party. Use apostrophes with nouns to show possession. Singular: My sister s hair is long. (one sister) Plural: I plan to visit my cousins farm. (more than one cousin) After losing five years in a row our school has won the finals! We competed against the best teams in capetown. Yvonne Jones won the 400 meters and the long jump. Yvonnes greatest strength has always been the 100 meters. This year, she won that race with a record-breaking time! Her younger sister Jackie won the 800 meters. We asked Jackie how she felt about her race. I felt I ran a strong, fast race, Jackie said. The sisters parents cheered them on. Teammate Christy Sander took first place in the shot put with a throw of 35 feet. Although she is a strong athlete she was still shocked. She said, It was my personal best. Congratulashuns to the team on a terrific meet! Omit 2 RDI Book 2: p. 237 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 237

7 Editing & Proofreading 7 Food Festival to be Announced You were asked to edit the announcement for the annual Around-the-World Food Festival. The announcement needs work. Get to it! Fix one misplaced colon and add one more. Fix six capitalization errors. one missing comma in a date and add one comma to set off an introductory phrase. Correct one other error. Around-the-World Food Festival by Ted Padres days of the week and months of the year. Dates are written with the month first, the day second followed by a comma and the year last. March 3, 2005 Numbers that tell time are written with a colon to set off the hours from the minutes. They are also followed by a.m. (morning) or p.m. (afternoon and evening). 3:00 a.m. or 1:30 p.m. West End junior high school will hold its annual Aroundthe-World Food Festival on april There will be food from twenty different countries. Students from the foreign language classes will begin preparing the food on wednesday. Students will decorate twenty classrooms in different ways. For example, the Mexican room will be decorated with pictures and writing from Mexican culture. The students will begin decorating after the 30:0 p.m. bell on friday. All students and their parints are invited. The Around-the-World Food Festival is always fun. If you haven t had too much to eat stick around for the international dancing contest. It begins at 915 p.m. and ends very late! Omit 238 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 2 RDI Book 2: p. 238

8 Editing & Proofreading 8 Video Arcade Fun You need to edit this paragraph about the video arcade. You think it sounds a bit formal and doesn t make the arcade sound as exciting as it is. You decide to make some changes. three apostrophes to show possession. Combine words to form five contractions. two commas. Fix three other errors. Arcade Fun by Sabrina Cyrus To show possession, add an s to singular nouns (Lara s toys) and plural nouns that do not end in s (the children s new toys). If a noun is plural, add an apostrophe after the s to show possession. The boys camp was in Ohio. An apostrophe takes the place of a letter or letters in a contraction. Contractions are used in informal writing: don t (do not), I m (I am). My brother Martin and I like to go to the video arcade. My favorite games are basketball car racing and kickboxing. I am good at shootting hoops in the basketball game. The driving games are fun, too. My brothers favorite game is driving the motorcycle. I am not as good at that. Some days I cannot stay on, and I crash hard. My favorite video games are Kickbxing 1,000 and Endless Kickboxing. The games sound effects are cool. My brother and I sometimes play against each other. Martins karrate moves are good. I think my karate moves are better. We made the highest score ever in a game once! There is a new high Omit score now, and we are trying to beat it. 2 RDI Book 2: p. 239 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Conventions 239

9 Editing & Proofreading 9 Raising Funds The Student Council is having a fundraiser. You are the head of a committee that has written an to send to parents. Edit the so that parents will support your cause. Fix an inappropriate shift in verb tense. Edit a sentence fragment. one proper noun. Fix one run-on sentence. Correct one other error. Use the proofreading symbols below. Shifts in verb tense occur when a writer uses more than one verb tense in a sentence. Shifts are appropriate if they describe actions that take place in the same time frame (past, present, or future). Correct Present Tense: We are eating at this restaurant because it is our favorite. One way to edit sentence fragments is to add a connecting word. Run-on sentence: I wish that the rain would stop the parade is today. Correct sentence: I wish that the rain would stop because the parade is today. proper nouns that name specific people, groups, or places: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; James. Don t miss our Support The Artists Craft Fair on Saturday, December 11th from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the school auditorium! Check out our amazing group of artists and venders at org. Many of our artists were from the neighborhood, and all make original and high-quality goods. In addition to a unique shopping opportunity, join us for activites. Face painting and workshops by the amazing Dance lab. Delicious food will also be available for purchase. The Support the Artists Craft Fair is hosted by and benefits the Student Council. To prepare for the event, we need help distributing postcards please stop by the Student Council room and take a handful to share with your friends and neighbors. We hope to see you there! Omit 240 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Convention 2 RDI Book 2: p. 240

10 Editing & Proofreading 10 On the Menu Your friend was chosen as a guest blogger on a website that features recipes and articles about food. You both love to cook, so she has asked you to read her post first. Can you suggest some changes before she publishes her post online? Fix three errors in the use of commas in a series. Fix two errors in the use of possessive nouns. Fix one error in the use of possessive pronouns. Correct two other errors. Family Night Dinners by Lucinda Guarez Use commas to separate items in a series. I bought a scarf, a hat, and gloves. To indicate possession, add an s to singular and plural nouns not ending in s. I took the dog s leash with me to the park. Possessive pronouns indicate ownership (its, his, her, their, theirs, mine, our). They do not use apostrophes. Our team won the city championship. Every Sunday, my mom and I walk to the farmers market. I love to talk to the farmer s who grow are greens and catch our fish. We always make a menu for a weekend family dinner based on what we find their. This week, the fishermens sold us a healthy piece of white fish. Stunning collard greens a gorgeous bunch of red onions, and ripe cherry tomatoes, caught our eyes. The greens will go nicely with the fish. And the Tomatoes and onions will be part of a salad. Omit Throw in some rice and we ve got family night covered! 2 RDI Book 2: p. 241 READ 180 Writing Strategies and Convention 241