RICHARD ABRAHAM. The Art and Science of Selling Through Relationships PRAISE FOR

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1 PRAISE FOR The author, Richard Abraham (left), with good friend and legendary realworld shmoozer Brett Hunsaker, who helped inspire and encourage Mr. Abraham to write this book. Visit Of all the advisors I ve brought to our marketing and sales efforts, these folks have by far the biggest impact. Their character, Mr. Shmooze, is my hero! He lives passionately and brings joy to everyone he meets. What a perfect prescription for happiness and success. KEVIN CUSHING President, Progressive Partners Mr. Shmooze is an inspiration! It s fun to read and sheds wonderful new light on the art and science of relationship building. This is a first-rate educational book for everyone in business, from those just beginning to seasoned professionals. BETH TREACY President, Treacy Marketing Group Like many successful marketing mavens, I'm skeptical of thin guru books. I read Mr. Shmooze to get a little reinforcement for stuff I figured I already knew. Wow! I had practiced many of the techniques contained in this book, but I had never elevated every aspect of my game like Shmooze! I bought copies for everyone on my team so that together we can shmooze our way to the very top... and have more fun than ever in the process! DAVID A. STEDMAN President and CEO, The Alliance The Art and Science of Selling Through Relationships RICHARD ABRAHAM is CEO of SalesDrive, LLC, and is a speaker, writer, and consultant who conducts workshops and seminars on relationship selling and maximizing the sales encounter. Before dedicating his time to speaking and publishing, he served as president of Prime Group Realty Services, president and cofounder of The John Buck Management Group, and president of CB Commercial/Koll Management Services. Mr. Abraham has established himself as a well-known expert on high-performance salespeople with more than 100 clients, ranging from entrepreneurs to Fortune 500 firms alike. The chapter on elevation alone is worth ten times (actually, many, many times) the price of this book and if a sales professional learned this lesson alone and no more, they would see their production rise significantly. BOB BURG author of Endless Referrals and Winning without Intimidation $19.95 USA $23.95 CAN D O YOU KNOW Mr. Shmooze? You might. You know that person who can light up a room? Who makes business fun while making it look easy? You know that person who always thinks of that extra little something a shared hobby, a mutual friend, passion for a cause because he or she genuinely loves bringing people together? MR. SHMOOZE Do you believe in win-win relationships? In doing well by doing good? If so, Mr. Shmooze gives you a one-of-a-kind toolbox to build fellowship and goodwill into your selling strategy. Who is Mr. Shmooze? Find out... and unlock your own irresistible force for success not just in sales, but in life itself! BU S I N E S S / S A L E S ABRAHAM [ C O N T I N U E D F RO M F RO N T F L A P ] Believe it or not, that person, that Mr. Shmooze, has mastered the secret of selling: selling is giving. The greatest salespeople actually give for a living. Now how does that work? If you want to find out, spend some time with Mr. Shmooze in this entertaining, lighthearted, and inspiring fable. Join Mr. Shmooze and his summer intern Robert on a journey into the hearts and minds of the people they touch in so many engaging and powerful ways. Read and learn how to build lifelong relationships by focusing on real connections with real people. If this sounds like a natural and thoroughly enjoyable approach to selling, that s because it is! The Art and Science of Selling Through Relationships RICHARD ABRAHAM Selling is the art and science of a great subject: the subject of life, says Mr. Shmooze. Mr. Shmooze gives you a look at how business and life and success in both are natural allies, not separate compartments. You ll see how sales skills matter not just in making deals but also in adding value to people s lives, whether through worthy causes or simple, day-to-day interactions. In one sales setting after another, Mr. Shmooze demonstrates how you can bring more passion, commitment, leadership, optimism, and energy to your life and work. [ CONTINUED ON BACK FLAP ]

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3 MR. SHMOOZE

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5 MR. SHMOOZE The Art and Science of Selling Through Relationships RICHARD ABRAHAM John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

6 Copyright 2010 by Richard Abraham. All rights reserved. Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) , fax (978) , or on the web at Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) , fax (201) , or online at Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) , outside the United States at (317) or fax (317) Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at ISBN (cloth) ISBN (ebk) ISBN (ebk) ISBN (ebk) Printed in the United States of America

7 Contents Preface Introduction vii ix 1 Breakfast with Mr. Shmooze 1 2 Telling a Story with Passion 11 3 Elevation 25 4 Dinner á la Shmooze 35 5 Entrepreneurs: A Special Breed with Special Needs 43 6 The Legend 55 7 Simply Networking Means Nothing 61 8 Death (Almost) by PowerPoint 65 9 War Whoops from the Managers The Theater of Life 89 Postscript 97 v

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9 Preface We all know someone like Mr. Shmooze. He is the gregarious fellow at the office who makes everyone feel better by just showing up. She is the gal at the card party who tells the best stories with the juiciest, funniest anecdotes. They are the couple who we all want at our dinner parties because they electrify the atmosphere. Mr. Shmooze can be a man or woman, young or old, tall or short; it really doesn t matter. Mr. Shmooze is not about surface appearances. Mr. Shmooze is about heart and soul, about good vibrations, and emotional connections. I have spent 20 years studying the art and science of marketing and selling. There are many different theories, many techniques people use to present themselves and their goods and services in a positive light. And I have come to a very simple but powerful conclusion. There is not a selling system in the world that can match the exquisite elegance, the honesty, and the raw power of a great relationship. My Mr. Shmooze is a composite of characters from all walks of life whom I have had the privilege of engaging and observing. He is Drew, the commercial real estate broker in Chicago, who always seems to be the lucky winner of the big tenant transactions. She is Joan, perhaps the most important person I know, who has spent the past 10 years in the cancer ward of our local hospital. Her contribution goes far beyond nursing as vii

10 she administers comfort and holds the hands of people as they face the ultimate challenge. But the consummate inspiration for my story, the quintessential Mr. Shmooze, is my good friend Brett Hunsaker, a man based in Atlanta, but welcomed by people from New York to Los Angeles, from Chicago to Miami, who have come to know and love his unique approach to living. Brett doesn t sell anything... he doesn t have to. Because if you mention his name to anyone who knows him, you will get a smile, a laugh, and a warm response. The world has a way of rewarding such people handsomely, that is, people who give more than they take while they light up people s lives. This is a story about how one man does it and how we can all apply some of the magic of Mr. Shmooze to our work and lives. viii Preface

11 Introduction This is the story of a man who makes a phenomenal living by leading an extraordinary life. In fact, maybe I should reverse that sequence. This is the story of a man who leads an extraordinary life and happens to make a phenomenal living while he is at it. You see, it is hard, perhaps impossible, to categorize a man like Mr. Shmooze because there is no one else quite like him. All I know is that if I have seen it once, I have seen it a hundred times...apersoncanbehavingaperfectlyordinarydaywhen along comes Mr. Shmooze. Presto! A warm experience, a great memory, a special relationship, often for life. And once that special connection has been made, it is only a matter of time before mutual benefits are exchanged, often in the form of a business transaction. ix