Julian Burton Phase 1a Director and Moderator of this SSC.
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1 This essay is provided, with the permission of the student who submitted it for marking, to give you an example of an essay that scored Satisfactory for overall competence. I have annotated the text to emphasise some of the deficiencies and areas where it could be improved, and have attached a mark sheet that indicates how I would grade this essay. Julian Burton Phase 1a Director and Moderator of this SSC. 1
2 To be completed by supervisor/marker: Please assess the student on the following criteria which are defined in more detail in the School s Outcome Objectives (see attached). Professional Behaviours should be considered separately from the generic and specific skills assessments. Please give written feedback to ALL students, and not just those with a Borderline or Unsatisfactory grade. PLEASE CIRCLE THE APPROPRIATE JUDGEMENT Generic Graduate Skills Excellent Good Satisfactory Borderline Unsatisfactory [Includes skills in written communication, information gathering, organisation and selfmanagement and IT literacy producing a word processed report, formatted appropriately doublejustified, double line spaced, appropriate font and font size, use of special characters]. Please provide FEEDBACK for all grades awarded Word count OK. You had room to expand your essay had you wished.. An appropriate selection of references from a variety of sources has been selected. You have shown good integration but there is no critical analysis of these. (Continue overleaf if necessary) Attachment Specific Skills History of Medicine Specific Skills Excellent Good Satisfactory Borderline Unsatisfactory [Understanding of the subject, able to write in the style of a scientific paper]. Please provide FEEDBACK for all grades awarded An interesting essay written in a mature academic style. You demonstrate understanding of the subject. You have over-used quotations throughout your essay (had you not done this, you would have scored GOOD). Try to use reference material as a source of words, not ideas. You do not need to add capitals to the names of subjects such as anatomy or physiology unless at the start of a sentence. Text is correctly double-justified and doubleline spaced and page numbers are given. No special characters have been used. There are occasional typographic and grammatical errors which indicate the need for you to proofread your work more carefully. Good use of subheadings. (Continue overleaf if necessary) Overall Competence Overall performance on generic and specific skills for stage of training Excellent Good Satisfactory Borderline Unsatisfactory Professional Behaviours Satisfactory Borderline Unsatisfactory [Includes submission (hard copy) of work on time & submission of Probity form, ensuring an ethical approach, avoiding plagiarism, & completion as requested]. Please provide FEEDBACK for all grades awarded No evidence of plagiarism detected. (Continue overleaf if necessary) 2
3 86: The Life and Work of William Hunter ( ) Student Registration Number: XXXXXXXXX Word Count:
4 Introduction William Hunter was the seventh child of John and Agnes Hunter, he was born at Comment [JB1]: Typographic error Long Calderwood, Kilbride, Lanarkshire, 23 May At the age of fourteen, he was sent to the University of Glasgow, where he studied for five years 2. Later, he followed the advice of his friend William Cullen 2 and became his medical apprentice in To increase his medical knowledge before settling in partnership with his friend he spent the winter of at Edinburgh 2 and began anatomical studies under Alexander Monro 3. As William s life continued he played a prominent role in the teaching of Midwifery and Anatomy. He gained medical knowledge from men who were experts in their field such as William Smellie and James Douglas, and William Comment [JB2]: An unnecessarily heavy use of quotations. Use information sources as a source of ideas, not words. Comment [JB3]: Capital letters aren t needed here. Hunter himself helped the advancement of medical knowledge with his own work on the gravid uterus. Midwifery Childbirth in mid-eighteenth-century England was routinely managed not by male practitioners but by midwives 4. These midwives had little knowledge of Anatomy and Physiology and when medical professionals began to realise this they felt as though Comment [JB4]: An unnecessarily heavy use of quotations. Use information sources as a source of ideas, not words. the lack of knowledge was detrimental to the patients 5. Mr Smellie, an obstetrician at that time, decided to change the situation and educated these midwives by teaching them the Art of Midwifery by a new rule 5. He gave them lectures on female anatomy, the growth of the gravid uterus and the process of childbirth, as well as the care of the woman and the child 5. William Hunter agreed to assist Mr Smellie s plan, this required William Hunter to build a machine on which to demonstrate the process of childbirth 5. 4
5 The machine was constructed of real bones, the uterus was made of soft leather and was made in such a way that it could be contracted or dilated to stimulate the different stages of labour 5. William had created a powerful visual learning aid but he himself made no great advancement of obstetrical practice on the clinical side 6. William Smellie It was William Cullen who recommended that William Hunter should study obstetrics under Smellie in William found Smellie to be blunt in manner and plain spoken 7, however he gave William many learning opportunities and one of them was to appreciate how poverty can provide difficulties during childbirth which he learnt when he visited many women in labour in the poorer parts of town 5. As well as including William in various obstetrical experiences, Mr Smellie introduced William to Dr Frank Nicholls who was reputed to be, next to Cheselden, the most famous teacher of Anatomy in London 7. Hunter enrolled at once as a member of his class 7 and from his lectures learnt that it was necessary to see the actual parts of the body Comment [JB5]: An unnecessarily heavy use of quotations. Use information sources as a source of ideas, not words. to handle the bones, to dissect the muscles, to follow the course of nerves and arteries and to open the organs while learning and teaching anatomy 5. By attending these lectures, it must have helped William gain an insight into how Anatomy is successfully taught, and he may have incorporated some of Dr Frank Nicholls Comment [JB6]: The point of essay writing is that you write it yourself. These quotes are correctly cited but a lot of this essay so far has been cut and pasted, which doesn t impress markers. teaching ideas in his own future Anatomy lectures. 5
6 Anatomy lectures William Hunter believed Anatomy was the only solid foundation of Medicine 8. When he went to Paris he attended lectures by M. Antoine Ferrein, the famous Anatomist who taught at the Royal Academy of Science 9. He found teaching of Anatomy in Comment [JB7]: You do not need to give specialties a capital letter. Paris to be much in advance of London 9. So in 1746 he undertook his first anatomical lecture which was a success as over twenty pupils attended 8. His lectures were then the main source of his income for the rest of his life 3. Luckily for William, in 1745 the Company of Barbers and Surgeons was dissolved and so was their law which prevented private dissections 8. This enabled William to use cadavers during his lectures so his students had the benefit of learning by the use of both eyes and hands 8. This made William the first in Great Britain to teach anatomy by what we now consider modern methods 6. Achievements Comment [JB8]: Note how this student has made good use of subheadings to help the reader follow the text and to switch topics. In 1750 the University of Glasgow awarded William Hunter a degree of Doctor of Medicine 10 and a few months later he received the Honorary membership of the Faculty of Physicians and Surgeons of that City 10. This gave him the authority to examine and licence all surgeons, to make statutes for the public health, to supervise the sale of drugs and poisons, to report to the magistrates every unexplained death, and to give free counsel to poor diseased folk 10. Therefore, at this time in his life he had achieved more than he expected and the powers he gained through his achievements emphasised how important he was. 6
7 James Douglas James Douglas was an anatomist and obstetrician 2 who William Hunter found to be of pleasing address and good wit 9. In the Summer of 1741 Dr James Douglas suggested that William should work as his assistant 9. William Hunter agreed and also engaged his services as a tutor to his son and as a dissector 2. Dr James Douglas later introduced William to a surgeon called Mr James Wilkie, who took him on as his pupil 9. After Dr James Douglas death William Hunter made a catalogue of his presentations 9. From his writings, William learnt about aneurysms and the articulating cartilages, and it was the finding of his anatomical drawings of the uterus that encouraged his own enquires upon the gravid uterus 9. The Gravid Uterus In 1751 William Hunter came across a gravid uterus near the very end of pregnancy 11. He immediately seized upon the opportunity to make full use of the occasion by careful study of the specimen 11. He got a painter called Mr Rymsdyk to make ten capital drawings of this one subject 11. Later, William Hunter asked his friend Robert Strange to do the engraving and Mr Baskerville completed the printing 11. In 1774 his descriptions of the gravid uterus were published in a magnificent elephant folio, the Anatomy of the human gravid uterus 6. In this book he convinced his contemporaries of the separateness of the fetal and maternal circulations in the placenta 6 and also showed that the decidua was a lining of the uterus and not derived from the ovum 1. Along with this he had included descriptions of the spiral 7
8 arteries of the uterus and noted that the uterine veins were without valves 1. It was this particular work that made William glorious. Queen Charlotte In 1762 William Hunter became the personal obstetrician and physician to Queen Charlotte, wife of King George III 3. This position was given to him on the advice of Mr Caesar Hawkins, the Sergeant-Surgeon to Her Majesty 12. At this time he was known as the leading physician-man midwife of his day 1. William Hunter was first called during the middle of the Queen s pregnancy and frequently attended to her until her labour began 13. He and Mr Hawkins waited in the anteroom on August 12th while the midwife, Mrs Draper reported progress to them from time to time, but did not require to call them in as the labour was an easy and natural one 13. It was an honour for William to serve the Queen in this manner, and he became well known publicly while he carried out his duty. Medical School, Museum and Library In 1768, William Hunter opened a School for Anatomy in Great Windmill Street 1 in London. It had its own amphitheatre, dissecting rooms, and museum 1. It was here where he and his assistants taught anatomy 3. The museum, known as the Hunterian Museum consists of mostly everything William Hunter liked to collect such as art, coins, minerals, scientific instruments 3 and it also included the anatomical preparations and dissections which he and his assistants had made 14. Within the museum is a library which has a 10,000 printed books and 650 manuscripts and is 8
9 known as one of the finest surviving libraries assembled by an 18 th century collector 14. Conclusion William Hunter contributed to eighteenth century medicine in many ways. As an illustrious and influential obstetrician 6, as the best teacher of anatomy 1 and simply as a scholarly 1 man. It was a combination of his characteristics, work and knowledge that made him a figure of prestige in his own times as well as in the pages of medical history 15. Comment [JB9]: A nice short conclusion that neatly summarises the essay. 9
10 Reference List 1. Dunn, Peter M. Dr William Hunter ( ) and the gravid uterus. British Medical Journal. 1999; 80: F76-F Accessed Accessed Adrian Wilson. Chapter 12: William Hunter and the varieties of man-midwifery. In: W. F. Bynum and Roy Porter (Eds). Cambridge; Cambridge University Press: 1985: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 2: Pupilage. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Oppenheimer, Jane M. William Hunter and his contemporaries. Chapter 1: Introduction. New York; H. Schuman: 1946: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 1: Venturesome Youth. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967:
11 8. Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 5: School of Medicine. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 3: Douglas of the Pouch. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 7:Alma Mater. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 13 :Masterpiece. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Illingworth, Sir, Charles. Chapter 8: Queen s Nightman. Edinburgh; E. S. Livingstone: 1967: Oppenheimer, Jane M. William Hunter and his contemporaries. Chapter 2: William Hunter s entrance into the world of affairs. New York; H. Schuman: 1946: William Hunter, born died 1783: a bicentennial appreciation in the University of Glasgow. Glasgow; University of Glasgow: 1983: Oppenheimer, Jane M. William Hunter and his contemporaries. Chapter 5: William s motives. New York; H. Schuman: 1946:
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