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Gregory Morris
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1 Vent unveils the secret for success: the Bore-o-Meter Dad Duty Seattle: Dad-Tested Kid-Approved Adventures That Won't Bore Your Socks Off Buy The Complete Version of This Book at Booklocker.com:

2 Adventure is worthwhile in itself. Amelia Earhart

3 FORWARD So you re on Dad Duty, what are you going to do now? And, if you re never on duty, you better start now Dad, and give those ladies a break! As a dad, you hold the unique ability to pull off adventures that kids love, and moms would rather avoid. The youngsters really do grow fast, and this remains your chance to shine. Discover what to do in Seattle when you re on duty, and what not to do. Why do the other guide books highly recommend the Pike Place Market, the Experience Music Project, and the Pioneer Square Underground Tour? Sure, these outings sound good on paper, but when young kids enter the equation, disaster looms at every turn. Why not go to Pike Place Market? If you wonder why your kid throws a tantrum in the middle of the market while you eye large veggies and sample garlic jelly, here s a clue for you: a sea of knee caps is not that interesting when you are 2½ feet tall! However, if you re prepared to buy a king salmon, watch it sail through the air, kiss the golden pig, and head to the beach to BBQ your prize, then this book is for you! But why not experience the Music Project? Wait until you dish out beaucoup bucks for your surround sound headphones with high hopes for a musical escape, and then your kids quickly tire of banging on instruments after three minutes. You won t be enjoying audio bites on the skater punk era for long when they disperse in all directions laughing, yelling and crying. Underground Tour? Perhaps you ll heed the other guide s recommendations and take your kids to the underground hazard in Pioneer Square. You ll score a few points laughing at Mr. Crapper s toilet jokes, but wait until you re the only idiot in the catacomb with a crying child that place echoes like a concert hall. No sir, this is not another excellently prepared but useless guide with 428 overwhelmingly wonderful things to do (with entire chapters on how to prepare your kids for the art museum ). If you want to cut to the chase and find dad-tested kid-approved outings for your Dad Duty, then read on soldier... ix

4 7. THE NEED FOR SPEED - EVERGREEN SPEEDWAY This outing will knock your socks off. Squealing tires, thundering noise, and that home town feeling that can only emanate from old fashioned ball parks (or race tracks in this case). The wooden bleachers, cheap popcorn, and cheesy announcers add a fun local flair. Just replace the crisp green grass of a baseball diamond with black asphalt and extreme figure eight racing and you ve got yourself a perfect 5.0 on the Bore-o-Meter. Movement Machinery Loudness Largeness Food Sugar Rhythm Bore-o-Meter: 5.0 On Saturday nights, head north to the Evergreen Speedway in Monroe (off of Highway 2 just west of the 522 interchange) and catch the action: Bombers, Stingers, Hornets, figure 8s, and Nascar Super Stocks (that look close to the real thing). Just sit back and let the noise do the work. These local heroes really juice it down the straights and smoke around the corners. Somehow the figure 8 drivers barely avoid T-bones at full speed, while the crowd holds its breath. Then the funky yellow Hornets buzz around the track and rev up the 4 cylinders on the stretch. And the Nascar B s display some impressive racing moves on the big track. Any style of racing is guaranteed to please, and the kids can t get enough. It could be a late night, but they ll beg for weeks to return with their friends, cousins, and mommy. 29

5 Ean Vent If you head to the track an hour before the main event (typically around 6pm), the drivers park their cars down on the track for autographs and pictures. This provides a real treat for the kids and a moment of fame for the local drivers. You ll acquire a few blurry dotmatrix print outs signed by the drivers, and maybe a free t-shirt. Perhaps a driver will slap a racing helmet on your kid and hoist them into the driver s seat now this gets the racing mood started right. hmmm, the art history museum, or extreme figure 8 s You decide. Keep an eye on for special events guaranteed to blow your mind. The end of season extravaganza can t be missed. On this special night, insanity reigns with school bus figure-eights, roll over contests (no joke), 3-car train races, demo derby, and boat smashups. Rain or shine, the testosterone in the crowd will be raging. The roll over contest features tiny beaters such as a Subaru Justy or a clunky Hundai that hit a four foot ramp with one wheel at top speed. Top speed for these crafts ranges from 5 miles an hour with the help of a push-truck, to a good mph crash. Drivers must turn the car sideways to achieve as many rolls as possible. Three to four is good, five or six gets into record territory. Ambulances are standing by, but crazily the cars often land on their feet and can drive away kids, don t try this at home! The real insanity starts when the school buses hit the scene. Some sport massive bumpers, others funky horns, and some don t even have doors. They race around the figure 8 track at good speed with definite crash action: bumper-bashes, spin-outs, blow-outs, roll-overs, and high speed T-bones it s all legal here. If that doesn t tempt your palate, the three-car-trains come out with a driver in the front, a driver in the rear, and luckily, no driver in the middle car. The goal here is to win the race, but often the drivers will 30

6 Dad Duty Seattle forgo half the track and repeatedly attempt a T-bone bash with the current leader. It s a cat and mouse game but inevitably the rear driver gets mauled. Then the boats come out, strapped to the back of the cars and all the gloves come off. I d love to tell all, but that would spoil the fun. Just go experience it. You can also plan your trip to the racetrack to coincide with the Evergreen State Fair. Near the end of August and Labor Day weekend you ll find events going on all day long: pig races, hula hoop contests, horse shows, roping contests, a petting farm, magicians, and the can t miss Swine Costume class. (360) The Reptile Man Scott Petersen also runs a Serpentarium in Monroe just a bit farther west on Highway 2. Home to a wild array of reptilian creatures: alligators, snakes, crocodiles, lizards, and even a two headed turtle. (360)

7 Ean Vent EVERGREEN SPEEDWAY 1. Evergreen Speedway North of Seattle outside Monroe, off HW 2, just west of the highway 522 interchange. (360)

8 Vent unveils the secret for success: the Bore-o-Meter Dad Duty Seattle: Dad-Tested Kid-Approved Adventures That Won't Bore Your Socks Off Buy The Complete Version of This Book at Booklocker.com:

Scout Weekend Activities

Scout Weekend Activities Friday, June 2 nd : Coffee Filter Butterflies 5pm Frozen T-shirt Race 7pm o First one to unknot and put on the frozen t-shirt wins! o Pop some popcorn & catch us under the pavilion