20 th Birthday Party Update

Transcription

1 MiataTudes SACRAMENTO AREA MIATA OWNERS ASSOCIATION April 2010 Wendy expresses how all the participants felt during the first Autocross of the year for SAMOA Robin s Nest By Robin George Photo by Robin George Finally the weather is becoming Miata weather. I took off my hardtop last week and convertibles are so much fun. Especially for those who have hair. Feel the wind. Whoosh When you see Jack Parker, thank him for the fine work he did on organizing and conducting the Annual Autocross Championships at the Mather facilities. Everyone who participated had a great time. And despite relinquishing my crown as Club Champion I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Each time I do autocross I find out new and wonderful things about my Miata. I feel new shoes are in the future. Too much power and not enough traction. Oh well There is always next time. One of the high points was watching the progression of everyone, especially the ladies. I was taking pictures at the finish line and the ladies smiles were ear to ear. Each session they got better and better. Jack won this year despite on one run collecting several bright orange cones or in autocross terms, carrying ducks. Awards and accolades will be presented at the April General Meeting. Based on the turnout and the enthusiasm of the participants, one of our members has volunteered his vehicle to be used as a club car at the remaining autocrosses this year. A raced tuned and maintained car will provide our members the means to be competitive and to improve their skills. Many clubs in the circuit use this method to compete. Stay tuned I also want to thank the 20 th Anniversary Committee for their quick action on what could have been a major problem for the club. Also thanks to the registered members to were able to change from one weekend to the agreed weekend. In retrospect the concessions made by the Lodge enhanced the event for everyone. This is going to be a fun time. Stay tuned for new announcements about the upcoming events. Now as stated previously, the weather is great for convertibles. Let s get those runs created. We want to drive and visit your favorite places. Contact an Officer or an old member dude/dudette and we will assist you in designing that fun run or event. It s your club and you make it whatever you want it to be. Editor s Intersection k9nurse@comcast.net Here we are in April! One-fourth of the year has come and gone. My chickens are running around like it s spring or something! I seem to have more spring in my step, even though my birth year says I am no spring chicken. I think I ll spring for a new pair of walking shoes. Do Miatas have springs, shocks or struts? Let s spring that question on our tech advisor Bob at the next meeting! - 1 -

2 Treasure Trove News By Jeanne George 20 th Birthday Party Update By Mike DeLaurentis NEW DATES September NEW DATES We welcome our New Members Brad Grant Jorge and Gabriela Kurek Steve and Louise Fassio Dennis Strassburger Tom Wilson Martin Neft and Niki Dragonetti John and Joni Jokerst Alan Westfall Ken and Patti Clifford Memberships Expiring on April 1st Gaetz, Leonard and Connie Gonzalez, Rod Hartzell, Steve and Cindy Kinsey, Graeme and Sharon Howe Mackey, Neal and Elaine Pike, Gary and Lynda Rowland, Sherri and Rex Souza, Shelia and John Tenny, Willie and Jim By now I am sure almost all of our members know our Birthday Party date had to be rescheduled due to a Bear Valley Lodge double booking issue. The manager apologized profusely and gave us many concessions including a room rate of $75/night for all rooms. The Lodge should have contacted everyone who had a reservation and asked if they could change the date and Jeanne and Pam also contacted all members to explain what had happened. Fortunately everyone who had already booked a room was able to convert to the new dates of September Other concessions included $500 to be applied to our food and beverage cost and complimentary breakfast. Were we upset? You betcha as my favorite former Alaska Governor would say but we realized that we didn t have a lot of choices AND that the new dates (and concessions) actually posed some advantages. Having averted a potential disaster your birthday bash planning committee got right back to work thinking about what else we can do during that weekend and refining the ongoing plans. Ron Petrich continues to ask for more donated raffle items; Diana Loo continues refining the souvenir program; and Jenn Sipe continues working the box lunch menu with the Lodge. As of this writing there are only 15 rooms left so if you ve been thinking about joining us do so now before the No Vacancy sign goes up. Mike DeLaurentis mdelaurentis@hotmail.com Memberships renewed during March Lehman, Stew and Judy Csik, Nick Johnson, Rod and Rita SAMOA stats 132 Memberships, 218 members, 136 Miatas - 2 -

3 20 th Anniversary Raffle by Ron Petrich With three months of prize gathering under our belts, your SAMOA BOO promises that the raffle to be held on Saturday night at Bear Valley Lodge will be a doozy. We still have more than five months to go, and we have already collected prizes from more than two dozen vendors and benefactors with a suggested retail value of nearly eight grand. causes that our raffle benefits. If you plan on buying raffle tickets why not bring your check book to the April meeting and spend a part of that huge tax refund check you just cashed? If you have to pay, bring what cash you have left and buy raffle tickets anyway. To monitor the raffle s progress, or to purchase raffle tickets by mail, simply go to our website at for complete information. And as always, any member of the BOO with questions or concerns. Most recently I spent a pleasant half day motoring up to Murphys, California, nearly two-thirds of the way to Bear Valley. I travelled to the home of Rod & Rita Johnson, who had graciously donated a case of gourmet Calaveras County wines from a variety of local wineries. Thank you Rod and Rita. The Johnson s, by the way, have one spoiled Miata on their hands. It appears to have total control of their 2-car garage with an overhead door at each end, so their 2006 red doesn t even have to back up. Lucky car! But Rod and Rita are not alone among SAMOA benefactors. Bob Bacon and his PigPhat Photography venture has donated a framed photo of you and your car, should you have the winning ticket. Frank & Vi Nicholson have donated a crystal wine decanter and glasses. They also, with Mike and Helen DeLaurentis, have opened up their home and their wallets to serve a gourmet 300 course meal for six to a lucky winner. Vince Weis & Kathy Bell have donated a set of custom tail lights for an NA Miata. Doug Hoffman won an NC oil filter at the January meeting and immediately turned it over to the raffle committee. I added five quarts of Mobil 1 and we now have a do-it-yourself oil change for your MX-5. MM Miata has come through with a number of items, including four NA/NB oil filters, so yours truly decided to add enough Mobil 1 for four more oil changes. Of course Crazy Red has come through once again with a number of great items. I recently got an from member Ray Chermak who plans on making a donation as soon as he and Susan return from a trip to Asia. Maybe he ll donate one of those right-hand drive JDM MX-5s. Ray, you listening? How big is your suitcase? And last but not least, and perhaps the grand prize of the entire raffle Jack and Sally Parker have once again donated a week-long stay in a luxury resort time share location of the winner s choice. I am constantly amazed at the generosity of the members of our club. Thank you all, and also all of the others who I expect will step forward in the next several months. Thanks also to those of you who express your generosity by buying raffle tickets, not because you expect to win, but because you recognize the importance of giving and supporting the four worthy - 3 -

4 SAMOA History Part 3: A Year of Firsts By Jeanne George This is the 3 rd in a series of articles tracking back 20 years to the beginning days of SAMOA. If you missed my February and March articles in the MiataTudes, you can find them on the web page under newsletters. While researching for this series, I found many interesting tidbits that I will share with you. Most of this month s information came from the Club s original newsletters. I obtained 20 years worth of newsletters from SAMOA Charter member Dennis Swaney. The photos for this month were from former SAMOA Charter member Bonnie Lutz. Bonnie organized a scrapbook during the early years of SAMOA and donated it to the Club a few years ago. Other photos were provided by SAMOA Charter member Skip Noyes. (Dennis and Skip are the only 2 of the original 13 Charter members that remain with the Club.) As a reminder, the Sacramento Area Miata Owners Association (SAMOA) was the name approved by the members in November My last article left off with the December 1990 first Official meeting where 6 Officers were chosen for the Club. January 1991: 1st Officers President: Ray Olmstead, VP: Eric Schmitt, Treasurer: Kitty Hughes, Co-Secretary: Paul Kile, Co-Secretary: Bonnie Lutz, and Events: Skip Noyes. Paul was apparently trying on the hats of several different titles. In February he was Co-Secretary, in March he was Co- Secretary/Tech, and by May he was Techno. In June they added a Newsletter person, M. Lutz. January 1991: 1st dues. SAMOA member dues were $15 per year due in January. Dues for new members were prorated at $1.25 per month to bring it to the end of the year. In addition, an individual had to be a member of the Miata Club of America (the National club) which cost $25 a year. This requirement lasted for many years but enforcement was difficult. A note in the files indicated that your Miata is the member not the owners of the vehicle. February 1991: 1st newsletter published Founder Paul Kile stressed they needed to have a newsletter. In those days nobody had , very few had modems, and most people didn t have personal computers. Bonnie Lutz agreed to put a newsletter together. People would write articles, drive to Bonnie s house to type them into her computer which were then printed out and photocopied at Dave Lutz s office copier. Jim Luis of Honey Mazda offered to pay the postage for the Club s newsletters. Bonnie would drive from her Loomis home to Shingle Springs every month and drop off the newsletters at Honey Mazda where they mailed them for four years. First newsletter meeting Skip Noyes and Dennis Swaney were part of the first newsletter get together. Interestingly, one of the first articles in that newsletter was Call For Creative Input! in other words, begging for input. Twenty years later, we are still requesting the same thing. February 4, 1991: 1st newsletter postmarked and mailed to Dennis Swaney using a 29 cent postage stamp. In those days the newsletter didn t have a name. It merely had SAMOA printed repeatedly across the top of each page. February 10, 1991: 1st Official SAMOA Outing Was a brunch at Zachary Jacques restaurant in Diamond Springs. The outing was in honor of the first birthday of Bonnie s Miata on Valentines Day. Skip Noyes, events chairperson, put it together. After brunch, many Miata owners were not ready to go home so they headed to the back roads of El Dorado and Amador counties. February 1991: 1st SAMOA flyers distributed to Sacramento area Mazda Dealers This turned out to be very successful to reach new purchasers and the Club grew quickly First outing

5 February 23, 1991: 1st meeting to plan for Gold Rush 91 Because of the great success of the Gold Rush 90 Rally, SAMOA members worked with Honey Mazda to help host Gold Rush 91. March 1991: 1st SAMOA attire was designed and went on sale (golf shirt $18, T-shirt $10) While reading the March newsletter, I was amused by the following article. Personals: SWM, tall, handsome, great personality, good listener, well traveled, intelligent, humble, and all around adorable person, with a red Miata, want to meet an awesome, good looking, interesting lady, preferable rich, who would not mind getting her hair messed up on top down days. Call Skip...###-####...PLEASE! April 1991 newsletter: name the newsletter The April issue was newsletter. We want to name and logo. Each were reported. A contest was announced to temporarily named SAMOA fill in that space with a catchy month a list of Car birthdays April 28, 1991: 1st Instructional Exterior Maintenance Meeting Skip organized this event to celebrate spring time. Everyone was to bring their buckets of appropriate cleaning supplies and fluffy towels to Bonnie s home. This would be the opportunity to begin the traditional TOP DOWN SEASON with a spotlessly clean, eyecatching automobile. First detail clinic June 1, 1991: official Miata Club of America charter was granted to SAMOA June newsletter: Announced that they had 37 members (remember that meant Miatas). June 22-23, 1991: 1st Overnight/weekend Outing In those days they called their adventure an Outing. The group drove to Caples Lake for a picnic, over Monitor Pass to Topaz Lake, then to Gardnerville for Basque dinner. Some hiked to Wally s Hot Springs and others headed to the casinos. The next day they droveto Genoa, Carson City, Virginia City and ended in Reno for a tour of the Harrah s Auto museum. First detail clinic First over night event July newsletter 1991: An article stated We have not received many registrations from SAMOA members to attend the Rally at Shingle Springs, September 14 & 15. Hey you guys, there are dozens caravanning up from LA, San Diego, and San Jose! (Local Miata people not attending local events are still an issue 20 years later.) -5-

6 July 28, 1991: 1 st SAMOA article in The Press-Tribune September 6, 1991: SAMOA becomes SAMOA, Inc. September 14-15: Gold Rush Rally 91 Was held at the Honey Mazda dealership in Shingle Springs. SAMOA co-hosted the event which drew 135 Miatas and their owners. This time the event had a theme--country Western. There was chicken BBQ dinner and dancing. Skip Noyes and Dennis Swaney worked up a rally course with help from Ray Olmstead and Larry Schnetz. Steve Hartzell refined the instructions. They threw in a trap. Not everyone got it though and some were displeased. On Sunday the crowd of Miata enthusiasts caravanned to Sears Point for parade laps. Awards were presented for different categories. SAMOA President, Ray Olmstead won for the Oldest Miata October 1991: SAMOA s membership is 61 Miatas First Gold Rush meeting October 27, 1991: SAMOA s 1 st Birthday The group returned to Carmichael Park for a pot luck lunch to celebrate this event. 22 Miatas were lined up for photos. The first Birthday cake had 2 red Miatas driving on a road with a CHP vehicle hiding behind a Buckle Up billboard. Included in the box of goodies Dennis gave me was the original Roseville newspaper. The news article written by Maureen Magee read They travel alone and in packs. They can be seen roaming the freeways in groups of 5, 10, or 50. Most likely they are members of a Loomis-based club for Mazda Miatas and their owners. Some 50 area people belong to SAMOA, Sacramento Area Miata Owners Association, one of the 70 chapters nationwide. According to Eric Schmitt, Vice President, Miatas are an affordable fantasy car. And the sporty cars area a tangible fantasy toy during the recession with the price tags beginning at $14,000. The article was also promoting the upcoming Gold Rush Rally. August and September newsletter 1991: their event calendar was very busy. There was an activity almost every weekend. Most were held on Sunday and members began to complain why there weren t any on Saturday. New word: Miataphile. Bonnie reported I have seen it in a lot of the newsletters from all over the U.S. First birthday celebration - 6 -

7 December 1991: new membership rates went into effect for January Individual membership was $15, Couples membership $20. December 8, 1991: SAMOA members participated in Miles for Smiles Charity event They assembled at Sunrise Drive-in Theater. There was a car show, awards, decorated vehicles, and a toy drive. First birthday cake November newsletter: 1st MIATATUDES is published Its official the new name of the newsletter is MIATATUDES. Most owners of Miatas have observed a change in their attitude toward life, they smile more, look for excuses to take trips, and generally, a better outlook. So we thought the name appropriate. The search was on for a new meeting location as Miata membership was at 72. In addition, an article revealed that members were receiving tickets for no front license plate. As you can see, there was a lot of enthusiasm by various people in the beginning of the Club. Most of these pioneers left the Club after a few years. During 1991 SAMOA received a great deal of support from the local Mazda Dealerships: Honey Mazda of Shingle Springs, Great Valley of Sacramento, Holiday of Roseville, Crossroads Mazda, and Swift Mazda. Today none of these dealerships exist. However, now Elk Grove Mazda is a SAMOA supporter. They provide raffle prizes, cars for display, and associates at some of our monthly meetings. Their manager is working with Robin to provide a Show and Shine at their dealership in the near future. We hope you will support them. Next month: Part 4, Growing in 1992 Mirror Adjustment By Bob Bacon First birthday celebration with 22 Miatas present November 12, 1991: Election of SAMOA Officers for The same people were voted into office with the exception of Ray Olmstead went to VP and Eric Schmitt went to President. Notes from this meeting were: The remainder of the meeting turned into what I would call a Rotten tomato throwing free for all. The discussion was about membership, who is the member, to be exact. Up til now the Miata was the member, but the car cannot vote. So is the owner of the car the member? If so, what about the member s S.O. (Significant Other). That being wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, mother, father, are they eligible to vote since they are not a member? Then should they have their own membership, and all that entails being a member, i.e. $15 membership fee, their own newsletter? Also if they are not the owner but an S.O. and are very active with the club, what are their rights? For insurance reasons, on club outings the member should be the only one driving the club car? Are they eligible for the door prizes? Hi all, here is a little info that works well for all cars. How many of you have gotten into a car, checked the side mirrors and found yourself looking more at the side of the car rather than the road behind you? Here is an easy way to adjust them and be able to see what you need to see. (That car in the blind spot) /?icid=VIDURVAUT06 Zoom-Zoom Bob Bacon Your Tech Guy -7-

8 2010 SAMOA Club Autocross Championships By Jack Parker The Fourth Annual SAMOA Autocross Championship event was held March 21 under a clear sky with temperatures in the mid seventies. Although we mild temperatures the competition was red hot. With 23 drivers in 21 cars we set a record for attendance as well as enthusiasm. That was most evident in the Novice Class with eleven drivers going for the trophies. With the event being held in conjunction with the SCCA Shriner s Hospital Charity Race on Saturday, that was a great day to get some tax deductible practice in before our event on the following day. About ten drivers showed up for a little practice on Saturday. Although the course was different on Sunday, Saturday s practice proved to be beneficial for everyone who attended. Sunday s event started at about 8:30 with two of the Open Class, one driver from Class II and our Class III drivers going for it. Robin George, our President For Life and newly turboed Nick Csik battled it out in the hideously modified class. Robin set the standard with a 59.7 and Nick answered with Robin next run was a little slower and Nick improved by.3. Robin s next run put the pressure on Nick as he improved 1.1 seconds but Nick ran off a great Both slowed on their final run giving the lead to Nick with one car left to run in the afternoon group. members to, well, the most seasoned. After the first runs new club member John Walsh led the field with a 59.6 and no one else below 60. Second runs, with everyone trying this for the first time say Matt Thurston, another new member getting to within one tenth at 59.7 and John not improving his time. You could see the excitement in some the member s eyes as they came in and were talking about where they could improve. At this time we adjusted some tire pressures and sent them out again. Almost everyone improved their times on the third pass but John and Matt took the bull by the horns and lowered their times as well to 58.8 and 58.9 respectively. With Matt still one tenth off, tires were adjusted again and off they all went. I guess the fourth time was a charm as out of nowhere Bob Bacon blasts through the lights at 58.9 to get to within a tenth of the lead. John did not improve but Matt was the man with a 58.4 and first place. Not to be outdone by the men one of two ladies in the Novice class finished the day with her fastest run to take the fourth and final trophy spot. Astrid kicked butt taking forth place among the Novices As luck would have it Rod competed in a class with two drivers, with the second driver having another commitment, Rod competed alone. Rod improved on each of his runs and finally got down to a quick 57.0 and jumping into second overall and winning Class III. Class II drivers were mostly in the afternoon so Clay Cowan ran alone in the morning and his 57.4 set the standard for the other three drivers in the afternoon group. Ross Donner, Richard Kelly and Eric Ringelberg could not match Clay on their first runs. On the second runs Richard pulled to within a second at 58.3 but everyone else was still above On Richard s last run he pulled his top time of the day at I later calculated the distance at that speed and Clay won Class II by around 5 feet. Walking the course The Novice Class was a shootout. Made up of first or second timers, Class II proved to be a very close race. If the previous day was any indication, it was going to be interesting. Ages ranged from the youngest of club Checking out the competition

9 The Ladies Class had a wide range of times for the day. Jill Thurston started the day out with as I understand, a rather exciting run and considering she came back in 87.2 plus two cones, I would have to agree. Something happened out there which never was described in detail but she was sort of laughing so I guess it was a no harm no foul run. I guess we will get the gory details later. First runs ended with Mary Joe Kapaun in the lead with a 71.1, followed by defending Ladies champ, Dianna Loo with Wendy Paulsen was third with a very safe and conservative Second runs saw Jill improve her time by a whopping 24 seconds to further cement the theory that something really exciting happened on the first run. See Jill for details. All three other ladies improved as well. Third runs saw everyone improve again and Jill still lead the field with a The only lady not improving her third run was Jill but improvement or not she finished first. Taking the second place trophy with a 65.4 was Mary Joe Even the spectators were smiling During the last run group, top time of the day was set by some hairy beast in a red thing who got really lucky. A new club champion was crowned. By all accounts, most everyone had a great time which is all I could ask for. I met some really nice people and got to work with Jeanne George, our official scorekeeper extraordinaire and trophy presenter at the April General Meeting. Don t miss that meeting as all trophies will be presented at that time and if you did not receive a dash plaque, see the organizer. He will be late to the meeting as he has another car show across the street to attend. We had comments such as one individual wouldn t sleep for a week. I had a blast! And a couple I cannot repeat, something about hanging on to the O $#!+ bar while riding as a passenger. Thanks Jill, that was hilarious. There were also some talk about buying new wheels and tires to go faster. YES!!! Glad everyone had fun. Robin talked about trying it again, maybe even this year. Go for it Robin. There are 12 more events this year so do not be a stranger. Needless to say I had more fun than trying to play ping-pong with a bunch of drunken monkeys. The announcer noted the Miata Menagerie Camaros and Corvettes and Cones Oh My! One Miata after another keeps the announcers busy The announcer noted the Miata Menagerie - 9 -

10 Car Magazines and Exotics By Adi Damania Besides Ron, I am also another car magazines nut. It s nice to drool over those fancy Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Jaguars, and Aston Martins. I used to collect copies of Classic & Sports Car (C&S) out of UK and for a couple of years was their Middle-East correspondent. Well, Parvin is off on her annual trip to Bombay. And I may just raid the bank and empty our savings to get myself one of them exotic Lamborghinis. But on the other hand I may not. I would ideally like to spend all our money before we kick the bucket and leave the heirs with just enough to pay for the funeral and doctor s bills. The perplexing and funny thing is by the time you know that you are about to die, it is already too late to drive a Lamborghini. The Lamborghini 400 GT (1968) But the first car magazine I subscribed to was our very own Road & Track (R&T) and I still have the first issue that I bought at a newsstand in Bombay back in October That issue had the Lamborghini Miura on the cover. It also had the full road test of the Lamborghini 400 GT, which R&T described as the best GT sports car they had driven ever (may be it still is?). And I was hooked. But unlike Ron, I did not keep many of the past issues. Spring Greetings! By Michelle Thomas From your editor and her Crew In later years I became a bit nostalgic and that is when I began subscribing to the C&S. There is an unfathomable thrill in seeing someone else s wellpreserved car of yesteryear, one perhaps you yourself had once owned or driven. I often drool over E-type Jaguars and fantasize what it must have been like owning one of those in the 1960s. If even today they look like dream cars what effect they must have had on car enthusiasts in those days? Another of my dream cars is the 1968 Lamborghini 400 GT

11 April Birthdays By Ron Petrich While reading the list below, you may see a trend developing, say by the fourth or fifth name. As a contributor to the newsletter, I am allowed to exercise a bit of license (poetic justice?) with this article. There are some poor members, you see, who don t seem to have birthdays. Those of us who do get to go to our own birthday parties once a year, but those who don t can only look longingly at the rest of us, wishing that they too could have a birthday party of their own. Well, we at SAMOA have decided to do something about this dreadful situation. We have awarded each of those wandering souls with a birthday to call their own April Fool s Day! Now no one in SAMOA will ever be left out again. Be aware, however, that some of these members may be a bit restive and claim that April 1 st does not befit them. They will declare that their true birthday is really February 30 th. Don t believe it! Ask for the birth certificate and the passport. At this month s meeting let us welcome the newly birthdayed back into the mainstream of society (that s what we call those with birthdays) with open arms no strings attached. Long live April Fool s Day! Tak Auyeung April Fool s Day Dennis Bentley April 4 th Mark Brooks April 9 th Mike Dugan April Fool s Day Kathy Dugan April Fool s Day Richard Finney April Fool s Day for real Ron Guzman April 14 th Cindy Hartzell April 30 th Joe Harvison April Fool s Day Pam Hunt April 7 th Diana Loo April 11 th Martin Neft another April 30 th Kevin Overholt April 13 th Genny Paauwe April 11 th Sally Parker April Fool s Day Barbara Penfield April 13 th Sheila Souza April 28 th Dennis Swaney April Fool s Day Mary Swaney April Fool s Day Patricia Treadway April 22 nd Kathy Bell April 16 th Mike Wilson April 22 nd Marlaina Wilson Tax Day Thomas Wilson April 26 th Wesley Zicker April Fool s Day Paula Zicker April Fool s Day

12 Horoscopes for the month of April Aries have ram-like eyebrows and smug expressions. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Cat Stevens' "Hard Headed Woman" was probably an Aries. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Aries are never born. They skip gaily from their mothers' wombs. This may even involve rollerblades. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. This would make Satan an Aquarius. Aries always hold management positions. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. All of you think you're Lech Walesa. People run away when an Aries comes around. They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. Aries hate listening to Scorpios talk because they take pride in being even more selfcentered. In fact, much to the Scorpios' dismay, you are the biggest *****s in the universe. Your ram s horns are in everyone else's asses. Taureans are brooding emotion incarnate. One minute you're up, the next you're down, the next you've shot your favorite newscaster in the kneecaps, "just 'cuz.". You're very earthy, which may mean that you don't shower as often as most people. Or it may just mean that you like to roll around with your nose in clover and sigh. Taureans love happy movies where everyone is jolly and having fun, but they fight with waiters and get upset with billboards. They like to psychoanalyze their friends but have no real experience with life in general. Taureans mumble while describing philosophical concepts. The Taurus is a strange bird because he or she holds grudges about things that never actually happened. This may stem from the feelings of inadequacy resulting from being beaten out for first in line in the zodiac by Aries. That is the Taurean selfimage, always second best. However, they are undoubtedly the best at feeling like second best. All Taureans want to be God. Unfortunately, God is an Aries. You are generally tough to figure out because you answer every question with a question. Also, you won't come out from under the bed. Most Taureans love conflict. If nothing is wrong, then that in itself is something wrong. Some especially like bar fights. If they can't get into an actual bar fight, they will make up interesting stories about them which they can tell their friends right before they psychoanalyze them. If it weren't for Bazooka Joe and The Family Circus, Taureans wouldn't know what to do. You feel that you are going nowhere in life. You are probably right. Milwaukee is full of Taureans. Taureans are impatient and pushy. They are in a tremendous hurry to get to the nowhere that they intend to go to. They make little dioramas of their homes, complete with tiny effigies of the people they know, and act out scenarios of the way things would be if they were God