DATES TO REMEMBER SPONSORS. Mermaid Beach Bowls Club Telephone June, 2017

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1 Mermaid Beach Bowls Club Telephone June, 2017 DATES TO REMEMBER SPONSORS Mon 15/5/2017 Club Helensvale Six-a-side Day Mon 15/05/2017 Burleigh Gala Day 2 Bowl Triples Sun 21/05/2017 Beenleigh Seafood Day Open All Day Fours Mon 22/05/2017 Beenleigh Jubilee Cup Tournament Monday 22/05/2017-Sapphire Gardens Our Past Presidents Thurs/Fri 8-9/06/2017 Mermaid Beach 2 Day Any Combination Medley Gala Event Sun 11 to Tuesday 20 AUSTRALIAN OPEN Wednesday 28/06/2017 Broadbeach Fantastic Fours Mixed Medley Sunday 02/07/2017 Beenleigh Open Novice/Senior 3 Bowl Pairs Monday 03/07/2017 Mudgeeraba Ladies Triples Sunday 09/07/2017 Gold Coast Tweed v. Northern Beaches Sunday 06/08/2017 Beenleigh Mixed All Day Pairs Sunday 20/08/2017 Beenleigh Seafood Day Open All Day Fours Monday 02/10/2017 Beenleigh Ladies Cane Festival Fours John Henderson Real Estate Mermaid Beach Pacific Fair

2 MEN S PRESIDENTS REPORT Very warm welcome to all the new members who have joined us recently. I hope your joining us will be an enjoyable one and you enjoy the great greens and the friendly members we have. What another great month for our club. Best entries in years for our men`s open singles. Won this year by our very popular member Hugh McKenzie. Runner up this year was surprise package Graeme Perry. Very well done to both of you and congratulations. I was privileged to mark this final this year and I was proud to do so. This was always the way it used to be done so good on our games director Ian Kelleher for bringing back some tradition. The new competition for new and experienced bowlers to play in selected teams is coming along really well. I personally would like to see more entries so come on support this new event. I know there will always be one or two who don t agree but that s your problem. We the mixed committee are determined to make this happen this year as promised to the members. It should be remembered we all had to start sometime, so spare a thought be positive and help out. You only get out of things what you put in. The men`s selectors are pleased to see 36 names up so far. A few of the senior players will not be there this year as they take overseas holidays etc. This will make chances for others to shine. As a selector I have been watching several players (some new) who have stepped up. Great. Trials will be had. Match ups are planned. Don t be a white ant and only come out of the wood work when it suits you as it could cost you. The mixed committee will be meeting regularly to discuss tournaments and their funding. If you have an idea, help us out and talk it over with me or Joan. Bernie. Men`s Prez WHERE DO YOU FIT? The Everready The Eveready (ready to go all day every day) is a selector s dream, and will play in any position in any grade. Never has a bad word to say about any of his team or club mates and can t, wait for the next game to come around. Easy to identify because they will be on the green rolling up 3 or more times a week. He has been listed as a protected species because they are slowly disappearing from the face of the earth. This bowler would have played team sport in his younger days and may have even coached a junior sporting team himself. Has a great understanding of what team selection and team sport is all 2 about and is an asset to have in any team. If you have them, bottle them

3 LADY PRESIDENT S REPORT Another month, how quickly time flies by, I know we are all busy people, I maintain it s better than the alternative!!! We have been able to complete the Senior Singles with Margaret Panousis coming out the winner, Well done Margaret and congratulations to all participants. The Consistency Competition has started, three games completed. Congratulations to Julie Geoghegan, she really is doing a great job. Thursday last we were given a refresher course on marking, this was well attended, by many Mermaids and bowlers from other clubs. This was conducted by Sandi Wallace and gave us over two hours of great Information, she also told many anecdotes of her observations over years of her practical experience. Today Veronica Blank,Julie Geoghegan Carole Rose and yours truly played in the Presidents Cup held at Tugun Bowls Club. We equipped ourselves quite well but unfortunately we didn t bring home The Cup. Mudgeeraba took that honour. Well done to Mudgeeraba!!! Never the less we had a great day, good bowls and good company, What more could you want? Have heard from Val Burgess, Colin had a fall Friday night and has broken his hip, So we won t be seeing Val for a while. I hope all is well with our fellow bowlers. Good health and good bowling to all. President Joan We recently conducted a raffle for a TV, wine and collector rum. This was donated and the pledged outcome was toward the new doors needed for the entrance to the function room at rear of dining area and to help sound proof the windows on the southern wall by panelling etc. We raised $1, and thank those of you who supported this raffle and the people who helped sell tickets. MISSION STATEMENT Our mission is to; Provide excellent lawn bowling and club facilities for the benefit of all members and our guests. Promote a competitive, friendly spirit that encourages bowlers to achieve at the best of their ability. Operate in a happy, welcoming, friendly, professional, positive and dedicated manner, thereby creating an atmosphere of harmony, trust, transparency and belonging. Promote our club to a level that substantially increases our membership yet maintains the personal service that our members expect and deserve. Promote the club as a venue for the community and community groups to use as their local club. Provide our products and services at competitive, affordable prices. We will achieve this by: - having respect and appreciation of office bearers, committees, volunteer workers and our fellow club members; commitment to our training and game preparation in a manner befitting our club and our team-mates, and by being humble in victory and gracious in defeat; providing a harmonious social environment at our club for members, their families, visitors and guests; involving our club in the community by making our facilities available to schools, indigenous groups, the handicapped, businesses and other organizations /institutions, and; by prudent financial management and sound forward planning. 3

4 2017 LADIES TRIPLES 2017 SENIOR SINGLES What a great morning of bowls this morning 12/05/2017 despite the weather. Marion McMahon, Heather Hayward and Melinda Gill defeated Sayde Dunn, Carole Rose and Shirley Kilty. Congratulations to all the ladies for getting to the finals, it was a terrific effort. Congratulations to Margaret Panousis for winning the 2017 Ladies Senior Singles. Great Bowling Margaret 2017 MEN S OPEN SINGLES Congratulations to Hugh MacKenzie for winning the 2017 Open Men s singles against Graeme Perry. It was a great game of bowls and both men bowled extremely well. PRSIDENTS CUP AT TUGUN President Joan enjoyed the Presidents Cup at Tugun on the 5th June, 2017 with Veronica Blank, Carole Rose, and Julie A BIG THANK YOU The Club would like to thank all the people who put their names down to mark in the Australian Open. It is not easy standing out on the green all day and we really appreciate your help in making the Australian Open successful.

5 CODE OF CONDUCT MERMAID BEACH BOWLING CLUB - CODE OF CONDUCT Being a member of the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club entitles you to certain rights and responsibilities, as it does other members, guests, visitors and the club overall. Members of, and visitors to, the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club are required, under this Code of Conduct, to behave at all times in a way which upholds the values and good reputation of the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club. The Code Members and Visitors have a right to: 1. be treated equitably and with respect; 2. participate in an environment free from all forms of harassment and discrimination; 3. have their privacy and confidentiality treated lawfully and with respect; and 4. submit their views to the Board of Management and any Committee of the Club provided this is done appropriately and respectfully. Members of and visitors to the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club must: behave honestly and with integrity; treat everyone with respect, courtesy and without harassment; comply with the rules and follow all safety requirements and practices of the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club, not breach Local, State and Commonwealth Government laws; behave responsibly and not motivate or incite any person/s to do or feel something unpleasant or violent; not discriminate against any person; refrain from behaviour that could offend or embarrass others; not physically or verbally harass others (includes fight, argue, ridicule, threaten, stalk etc.). comply with any lawful and reasonable direction given by someone who has authority to give the direction; maintain appropriate confidentiality about dealings that any person has with the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club; use Mermaid Beach Bowling Club resources in a proper manner; not damage, steal or misuse property belonging to, or in the possession of, the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club; not carry any offensive weapon/s; not use offensive language or gestures; not provide false or misleading information in response to a request for information that is made for official purposes in connection with the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club; not use illicit drugs; and at all times behave in a way that upholds the good reputation of the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club; Breaches of the Code of Conduct reporting and resolution. Breaches of the Code of Conduct are to be reported to any member of the Board of Management. Any breach of the Code of Conduct will be resolved calmly, with honesty, dignity, and as far as possible confidentiality will be maintained. Where and when required the Mermaid Beach Bowling Club, through its Board of Management, reserves the right to make decisions and enforce fair and appropriate measures to resolve a breach of the Code of Conduct. Any reported breach of the Code of Conduct will be investigated, discussed and dealt with by the Board of Management by imposing either a reprimand, suspension, or revoking of club membership, or, in the case of non-club members, banning from the club for a set period of time or for life. Any breach of State or Commonwealth law shall be referred to the appropriate law enforcement agency.

6 LET S HAVE A LAUGH 'I NO COME WORK TODAY'! Hung Chow calls into work and says: 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss says: 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.' Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: 'I do what You say and I feel Great. I be at work soon... You got nice house'!!! An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me??" Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Dr. Young: Aaagh!! -- "This is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500. Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!" Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, " Here's your $1000 back." (giving him a $10 bill) Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500." Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer" Remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off. ENJOY YOUR DAY!! P.S. Written in large print for old Geezers