TX WEST SIDE GMOT. Oct 6, Volume 5 Issue 1 WORLD ADULT KICKBALL ASSOCIATION. Pg. 1

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1 Pg. 1 TX WEST SIDE WORLD ADULT KICKBALL ASSOCIATION GMOT Volume 5 Issue 1 Oct 6, 2010 Welcome kick ballers to the TX West Side fall season! What s up, kick ballas?! There s a ton of new k-ball virgins this season to go with our old, crusty vets. First things first, a congrats to our two-time defending champion WAKA ME OFF!! With the exception of their lone loss to everyone s favorite team, SUCK MY KICK, they were lights out. Now, fall ball is here and it s time for beer drinking, shit talking and ball kicking!! The west side is all about good company and fellowship so let s leave our competitive spirits on the field and join the fun at our new bar Poag Mahone s every Thursday night after our games. Don t forget to check out every weekly edition of the GMOT for scores, schedules, upcoming events and cool pictures from the previous Thursday. Now, have fun and go kick some balls!!!! Inside this issue: Commish Corner 2 G-SPOT 3 Head Ref Rundown 4 Scores & Standings 5 Team Wrap Ups 6 Everything Else 7 PICS! 8-10

2 Pg. 2 Com CoComComCCCooCooomeCrgCommmtfdsfgommCComoCommmishissioner s Corner Commissioner s Corner Congratulation Kickballers on completing week 6 of this hot summer season. What We have a great 2 more first weeks of of regular games! season We had play a lot and of first then time we players start our and division tournament. We will all have a shot at the title. We also have some first time teams get their hands dirty with some fantastic kickball. a charity that we neewhat a great first weekscc of games! We had a lot of first time Turnout was great at Poag's with players Toot and It & Boot It winning the Bar Challenge some first with time 100% kfjas;dfteams of their get players their hands in dirty attendance. with some fantastic kickball. Turnout was great at Poag's with Toot It & Boot It winning the Bar I need to cover Challenge just a few with things 100% once of their more players before in attendance. we really get rolling: 1. No Glass I need on to cover the fields, just a few period. things once more before we really get rolling: 2. Kids and Dogs should 1. No be Glass on the on outside the fields, of period. the fence, this is for their safety, 2. Kids and not Dogs ours... should be on the outwhat a great first weeks of games! We had a lot of 3. Please pick up after yourselves, first time we players are and all adults after all. some first time teams get their hands dirty with some fantastic kickball. Turnout was great at Poag's with Toot It & Boot It winning the Bar Let's follow Week Challenge 1 with with a better 100% of impossible their players Week in attendance. 2. Thanks for a great week of games. I need to cover just a few things once more before we really get rolling: 1. No Glass on the fields, period. 2. Kids and Dogs should be on the outside of the fence, this is for their safety, not ours Please pick up after yourselves, we are all adults after all. Let's follow Week 1 with a better impossible Week 2. Thanks for a great

3 Pg. 3 G-Spot Comment box Don t forget to send any comments & shoutouts! It s our anonymous G-SPOT COMMENT BOX, set up at the fields, as well as the MULE PUB each and every week. Come put it in the box! Or you can westsidekickballers@gmail.com There are more bandanas in this league than there are on Rock of Love I am going to wack off the whole WAKA Me Off team! Matt M is the tits!! Smash McGee loves Balls Chando makes Chuck Norris look like a bat boy Can I get the number to the girl who wants to waka WAKA Me Off? Daniel Macken needs to man up! GIRLS IN PINK SHIRTS ARE FUCKING HOT...WAY TOO YOUNG BUT FUCKING HOT Poag s kicks the SHIT out of the Mule!! Did I shave my balls for this?? Gloves are for pussies I think brightly colored shorts make me run faster New rule...must drink one beer per base SMK is feeling so fly like a G6 I want to punch the girl with the pink headband on the pink team in the face! I miss SMK like WAKA misses my thighs Short Shorts BY FAR, I joined the team with the HOTTEST girls! Skyler likes the way my hair smells <3 Let s pretend we don t know her next time we see her Sorry I talk shit & heckle you...wait no I m not LOSERS! Orange team should not ref again until they learn the rules Win or lose, Chando is the sexiest man alive. Dirty Clint is a bundle of gayness Purple Reign, Purple Reign! Brent is hot in the sack! It s a close race for 2nd this season Kelly should kiss Grover already now! GSPOT rules-can t wait for week 2! Our ref sucked...he was wasted the whole time. Don t tell him but I really want to waka him off Bend over and take it like a man -Bustin Rubbers Blondes have more fun in kickball! New Goal: Get all the shitty teams to recruit more hot girls Why is royal blue, aka Recess Rejects, so full of d-bags?!? HAVE FUN! DRINK BEER! Who knew the G-Spot was so easy to find...i ve been searching for years! If I stay, I ll take a random girl home. Wow! Really? My only option used to be if I stay I wreck my truck and get a DWI. Lucky ass!

4 Pg. 4 Head Rules Guy WAKA TX HEAD REF BERT PARATORE DISSECTS THE RULES HERE EACH WEEK A Foul is: Any ball touched more than once or stopped by the kicker in the kicker s box (commonly called as a double touch). Any ball kicked on the knee or higher. Any ground ball that touches foul territory prior to first or third base. Any fly ball that first touches the ground in foul territory before or after first or third base. Any ball that is kicked and the kicker s ENTIRE plant foot is outside either the back or sides of the kicker s box. And ball that is kicked and ANY PART of the kicker s plant foot is in front of home plate. Any kicked ball touched by a fielder who is entirely in foul territory prior to being declared as a fair ball. A man bunt (Panther Only) An Out is: Any kicked fly ball that is called foul (by any of the above foul ball definitions) and is caught is an out. Three strikes. A runner touched by a ball prior to reaching base (this includes a tag, thrown ball or kicked fair ball). Ball tags on runners have to be below the neck. If a ball tag is made on the runner s head or neck the runner is safe, unless the ref determines that the runner intentionally used their head or neck to block the ball or if the runner is sliding. A ball tag on the base in a force out situation. A kicked fly ball (foul or fair) caught by a fielder. A runner off base when the ball is kicked. (There is no leading off or stealing bases in kickball.) A runner who does not tag up when required. (Requirements defined below.) A runner who is physically assisted by a base coach during play. Tagging Up: Runners are required to stay on base or tag up until a kicked fly ball first touched. That means when there is a fly ball, the runner may tag up or leave the base once the ball is first touched regardless if it s caught or not. So fielder A first attempts to catch a fly ball, bobbles it and fielder B catches it. The runner can tag up or leave the base once fielder A has touched the ball. Encroachment: There are three ways for the fielding team to get encroachment warnings. First, when any player (except the catcher) crosses the imaginary diagonal line between first and third base before the ball is kicked. Second, when the catcher is in front of the kicker when the ball is kicked. Third, when the pitcher crosses the imaginary diagonal line between first and third base during their pitching motion. First offense of this rule is a warning and the play stands as called. Second and all following offenses of this rule result in the kicker being awarded first base regardless of the outcome of the play. Each team gets one warning per game. Overthrows: An overthrow is defined as any ball thrown, kicked or deflected into FOUL TERRI- TORY while making a defensive play toward a runner or base. Runners may advance one base pass the one they are on or heading towards on an overthrow. This is not an automatic right and the fielding team can still try to get them out. The play ends when the pitcher has the ball on the pitching mound. If an attempt is made to get the runner out instead of returning the ball to the pitcher on the mound, the runner may continue base running. Players and especially captains need to review the rules online at: Bert

5 Pg. 5 SCORES & STANDINGS Week 1 Scores Balls n Dolls 0 99 Problems. 1 Toot it and Boot it 10 Balls Hit Your Face 0 Recess Rejects 11 Bustin Rubber 0 Harry Ballsagna 6 Nut Shot to Liver 1 Suck My Kick 7 Son of a Pitch 2 Double With Red Ball 0 TDP 7 Down n Dirty 2 Toot it and Boot it 4 Waka Me Off 17 Where my Pitches at 2 Standings Teams Wins Losses Ties RANK Toot it and Boot it Waka Me Off Suck My Kick TDP Recess Rejects Harry Ballsagna Problems Balls and Dolls Balls Hit Your Face Bustin Rubber Nut Shot to Liver Son of a Pitch Double With Red Ball Down n Dirty Where My Pitches At

6 Pg. 6 TEAM WRAP UPS Suck My Kick was able to get the season started off with a bang this fall season with a 7-2 victory over Son of a Pitch. SMK welcomed several kickball virgins along with the old, dried up regulars! We re looking forward to taking the championship from WAKA this season. BE WARNED, CHAMPS!!! We had a blast getting to know our team mates. Cheers to Mickey for showing lots of leg. Gold shirts suit us more than pink ones. Our team will have to try hard to make more shots on the field than at the bar. The newly hatched, Navy Blue Bombers of Bustin' Rubber were unable to =ecure their first win. Congrats to the Recess Rejects. We would like =o extend to you a Celtic salutation: Poag mahone! It means we loved =our intensity and by the book savvy. With game 1 under our belt, the =rass out of our cracks, the hangover behind us, and a new found focus, =he rubber busting can only get better from here. We do our best rubber =ustin' at the bar anyhow! Ain't that right Krissy?! Our MVP of the =eek signed up for the fall season a jobless hobo, and will have to =orfeit the season due to his new job offer in Austin (horns down). =ood Luck and farewell to Scott. Bustin' Rubbers are DTB! We'll hit our stride...hopefully before week 8 After a sluggish 1st inning filled with errors, WAKA ME OFF was able to settle in on defense and explode on offense. Every one on the team contributed to the offensive onslaught, with Chris Barberena, Cody Hodges, and Tank Carder providing big base clearing kicks. It was a great start to the season, as we try to win our 3rd championship in a row! Being the champs, we all know everyone's coming after us so We got shut out!! The TDP tradition of drunken kickball victory continued in the first game of the Fall season. TDP won what was a tight game (1-0) until the bottom of the 4th inning when the legs came alive with 2 outs to take us to a final score of 7-0. TDP has 10 new players this season and several rookies who played great in their first game. I am already ready for next weeks debauchery. It was a great first week for the many kickball virgins we have on our team, the old bunk sauce has lot their passion for bunting... But Levi remember I will always have the bunt in my back pocket!! Everyone watch out for balls to hit your face!!!! Recess Rejects started the season with a bang. CJ pitched his first onship direction.. shutout of the season and claims he is just getting started. The girls were fired up and catching everything that came their way while the boys were kicking it out of the park. Great season start and looking forward to next week s game! Toot it Boot it 3 and Down n' Dirty 2. Game was close and hard fought but a good game. Team overall is getting better Score problems over balls n dolls. Overall a good game. Good umps. We did not realize there would be a show of force (in the drinking category) by balls n dolls with a pre game shotgun of beer; however, i found that our teams consumption of deuce deuces of Mickeys and 24 oz Four Lokos was a comparable show of "consumption force"!! We won 6-1. Most of the action was in the first and second inning when =e scored 5 of our 6 runs. The other team (yellow - I don't remember =he name) tried a top of the 5th comeback with one run and a man being called out at home plate to finish We've got a good team this year, but we have to work on some things. Our all-star left fielder did a pretty good job catching the ball with his face and then face-planting in the outfield. Way to take one for the team Princess! Picked up some good players and we'll start kicking ass soon! We won our first game over some good friends on Balls Hit Your Face. We hated to kick it so far over their heads...it was such a nice start to the season. Luckily, we were able to hang around in our second game over Down n Dirty. It was a nail biter that ended in our favor. Great defense in both games and solid offense when we needed it. The new additions to our team are a step in the champi-

7 Pg. 7 EVERYTHING ELSE Week 2 schedule 10/7/10 7pm Bustin Rubber VS 99 Problems... Ref: Suck My Kick Field 1 7pm Balls Hit Your Face VS Balls and Dolls Ref: Son of a Pitch Field 2 7pm Nut Shot to Liver VS Down n Dirty Ref: TDP Field 3 7pm Recess Rejects VS Harry Ballsagna Ref: Toot it and Boot it Field 4 8pm Toot it and Boot it VS Son of a Pitch Ref: Nut Shot to Liver Field 1 8pm Suck My Kick VS TDP Ref: Down n Dirty Field 2 8pm Harry Ballsagna VS WAKA ME OFF Ref: Balls Hit Your Face Field 3 8pm Double With Red Ball VS Where My Pitches Ref: Balls and Dolls Field 4 Don t forget to join the league at Poag s every Thursday after the games! Free pizza! Cheap drinks!

8 Pg. 8 Want to see more pictures of you & your team? them to westsidekickballers@gmail.com!

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10 Pg. 10 TX Westside pictures