From the Desk of the President

Transcription

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2 Summer 2011 GMOT Newsletter Week 3 From the Desk of the President Dave the One Man Flipcup Army NOLAmite Week 3 of Kickball was yet another wet and wild slop fest at the Fields. The daily rain this Summer continues unabated making for some wet to downright marsh like (Field 2) conditions. At least the really nasty lightning filled Thunderstorms have gotten their work done early in the day on Mondays (knock on wood; I hope I just didn t jinx us). And honestly, I don t see this rainy trend ending anytime soon. I would highly recommend, to those of you who haven t already, go out and pick yourselves up some soccer cleats. You can get a pair, for pretty cheap, at any of the big sporting goods stores in town, and they do make a difference in footing and traction. I m not saying they ll keep ya from busting your arse, just that you ll lessen the likely hood a decent amount. So get yourself out to Dick s Academy of Sporting Authority, and cleat up, you ll thank me later. In Kickball News: BOT and Beastie continue their usual dominance over their respective divisions. But Balls on Top has had two weeks of last minute victories. Is it a crack in the armor? Or are they just making it interesting? Time will tell. Spankin Pitches continue their role as surprise of Summer 11. Rolling out to a 3-0 start is impressive, but Keep deez Balls, Team USA, and BOT are still waiting to have their say. Congratulations to my Mafia (3 runs) and No Ugly Pitches (2 runs) for finally getting on the score board this week. Way to break the Ice. Keep deez Balls became the first Team of the season to earn a strike for not having anybody come out to do their Umpire duties. Remember 2 more strikes and you re out of the Playoffs. (Thanks BOT) for filling the void. Field Holding for Week 4: Da Ballaholics and Saved by the Ball

3 First off, a Huge Thank You to Sammy P. and Rehage for filling in on Flipcup Refereeing in the absence of Mezzic and Smashly this week, you guys made it a seamless transition. My Mafia, who have come oh so close to victory in weeks 1 and 2 with back to back 2-3 nail biting losses, finally got off the snide with a solid 3-0 victory over Chef s team. The usually Dominant Team USA and Shake & Bake barely escaped by the skin of their teeth this week. S&B had the always dangerous Stains, so that was expected to be close. But Team USA almost giving up the huge upset to Pope s Squad would have been nutburgers. Beastie s deep lineup refused to lose as they powered through Booze on 1 st. And Keep Deez got in the win column this week with a resounding thumping of a Sammyless BOT squad. (I think you owe the Mezzic's a present) In KOTH the Mafia was the first team to hire a Flipcup Assassin this season, purchasing TJ Natal for week 3 s table battle royale. However, the laws of averages may have gotten the best of him, when he failed to place. Three weeks in a row is a tall order. But, thanks TJ, you battled like a true Assassin! Joining TJ this week in the Elite Flipcup Assassin Squad is Josh Amazing Lee. Congrats, buddy! Here s a quick refresher on the Flipcup assassin Rules: Two Time Qualifiers automatically become Flipcup Assassins and will be awarded a special KOTH Assassin Jersey. (headband is optional)

4 All teams can then bid on Assassin(s) to play in one, two or all three of their team s spots in KOTH. Bid Sheets will be available at Charity Corner. Bidding will end 5 minutes before the start of KOTH. Starting bid for each Assassin will be $20. If the Assassin(s) places for your team, you ll win a spot in the Finals and the money to hire him will go towards the Assassin s home team s race for the keg total for that week. If they fail to place for your team, you don t win a spot, but the money to hire him will go towards your team s race for the keg total for that week. Teams who have an Assassin on their team can use them, but only if they outbid all the other teams. Alright, without further ado let s get on to your Week 3 KOTH Final 4: 4th Place: Chris me and my Salamander are happy to see you Cain 3 rd Place: Beau the complete package Armagnac

5 Week 3 KOTH Final 4 continued: 2 nd Place: Michelle you can t touch this Dee Your Week 2 KOTH: Josh you don t want to touch this Lee Your Week 3 Final Four See ya Monday, Dave NOLAmite

6 SUMMER 2011 WEEK 3 By Anon E. Moose RK (PR) Team REC Comment 1 (1) Balls On Top Another Week, another close call. Pulling it off in the fifth Inning every week will get harder and harder to do. I'm leaving you in 1st because of your history, but get back to your old D-O-M-I-N-A-N-T F-O-R-M. Do you know what that means? 2 (2) Beastie Balls (5) Spankin Pitches (3) Keep Deez Balls OYM (6) Shake and Bake (4) Donkey Ballers Well you managed to make 1st a dry county. Your cruising through the Division yet again, the BOT may need to watch over their shoulder come playoffs. The Moose is pleasantly surprised as you've spanked your way up the rankings. But the real tests are on the horizon. Can you prove you re worthy? First up, Keep Deez Balls OYM. There's gonna be more spankin' and teabaggin in this game than than a low budget porn movie. Who will be on the receiving end of the money shot? (Match of the Week) You hung in there tough, dangling dem balls dangerously close to BOT's Mouth. But when it came down to crunch time, they were able to keep dem out their mouth. Spankin' thinks their worthy; let's see if they can avoid a tonsil dance. (Match of the Week) The moose is definitely digging the themed games each week. But, please, please, please pick themes that keep Swantek in as much clothing as possible. Kick Start is up next, may I suggest an 80's hair band theme? kinda surprised that the Donkey got Spanked, was it an off week or back to reality? The BOT Machine is coming to town next, and I'm pretty sure they remember the last newsletter from last season. Take advantage of the new BOT pitching game or its back to.500.

7 7 (10) Swampstains (7) WAKAffs (9) 99 Problems (8) Da Ballaholics (11) Kick Start My Heart (12) Chocolate Salty Balls (13) Booze on 1st (14) Saved by the Ball (15) Memphis Mafia (16) No Ugly Pitches You somehow were not distracted by the Swantek banana hammock. Nice Job, but another scary yellow monster is up next week, and they are ready to take it to ya. You took care of Kick Start, but the Seanstains are on a surge. Hold them off and you'll be in nice win streak. You rolled up the upstart team from Bayside High. Next week wraps up your back to back newbie run. Don't look through them, or you'll have another big problem. Team USA took advantage of the Pope's fun, but struggling team in week 3. Next up, the Memphis Mafia. Don't forget the King of Rock n Roll helped make America Great. They may be figuring it out. Don't take them for granted. Put 1968 Jerry Garcia in the Thunderdome with 1984 Nicki Sixx, two rockers enter, one rocker leaves. Gotta go with the Crue Prove me right and you're back to.500. Nice work versus the Mafia. No Ugly Pitches are coming to South Park next week, and the Moose feels confident that Kenny will be just fine. It's been a rough season against good veteran teams; Tino's 99 problems won't be any easier, so hang in there. Eventually you and Saved by the Ball will have to play each other. Maybe you can figure out Zach's "Time Out" to stop time and manipulate the Beastie's out field. Barring that, you're in for a very long week 4. Well on the bright side, you scored three runs. Unfortunately you gave up 5, 4 in the 1st. Clean it up and you might have a slight chance against Jersey's Red White and Blue Krewe. Like the Mafia, you appear to have a blast every week. The Moose enjoys your enthusiasm. Clean up the fundamentals and you can give Chef's Balls a run for their money.

8 SUMMER 2011 WEEK 3 By Anon E. Mouse Rank (PW) Team REC Comment 1 (1) Beastie Balls 3-0 Gave one up to Booze on First eh? I have to believe that was intentional mostly because there is no other way to account for it. Don t worry about it affecting much though; it was a rough week for a lot of teams. Keep on keepin' on. 2 (2) Shake and Bake 3-0 You almost blew it, and you know it. Giving up 2 rounds isn't a great thing, but I watched your game and as a whole you are better than you played. Make adjustments as needed. 3 (4) Donkey Ballers (3) Balls On Top (6) Wakaffs 2-1 Nice shut-out. Just what you needed this week for the rankings. You are up against BOT next week and if they show up to play this will be a difficult one to win. Play your best 5. (GAME OF THE WEEK!) Well KTBOYM showed up, and you didn t. Getting shut out is going to hurt you this week. Get back on the horse with Donkeyballers next week; losing is a slippery slope. (GAME OF THE WEEK!) Excellent shut out and clean flipping. Keep up the good work. The Stains should be re-tooling after their loss this week and I'm not sure if they will be up to the challenge, but don t underestimate them. 6 (5) Da Ballaholics (8) 99 Problems 2-1 Nice win, but you are struggling. I didn t see this matchup firsthand so I'm not sure what happened. Don t underestimate the Mafia next week. They have apparently completed a 9 week flipcup boot camp and are turning the tides on their usually winless record. Well OK. It was a new team and you beat them as you should have. You are up against Booze on First, another new team, so I expect another 3-0 win. Don t disappoint.

9 8 (7) Spankin Pitches (9) Swampstains (11) No Ugly Pitches (14) Memphis Mafia 1-2 You played a very good team and lost. Shake it off and get ready for Keep Deez Balls Out Yo Mouth, they are on a high from their first win. Good playing. Unfortunately that looked closer than it really was and I think you were lucky to win any rounds. You are definitely shorthanded this season. Find your top 5 and stick with them or you are looking at a losing record. Although it's not a W, there's no shame in taking 2 rounds from Da Ballaholics. You're up against Chocolate Salty next week and I predict you will take that matchup. Can you take it 3-0? Mafia! What has gotten into you this season?!? Dare I say you have new weapons? no that s not it. A newfound taste for blood?... maybe. Whatever it is, keep feeding it! I've moving you up this week just to egg you on. :) 12 (10) Kick Start My Heart 1-2 The WAKAffs are playing well this season, but you should have had a round. Shake & Bake was pretty 'shaky' last week, giving up 2 to the Stains, but I have a feeling that they are re-tooling as well. Nothing less than you re A game will take the win this week. 13 (12) Chocolate Salty Balls 1-2 WTF happened there? I will say that the Mafia are looking significantly better this season, so perhaps this is a legitimate loss; but 0-3? Get it together for No Ugly Pitches next week. 14 (13) Keep Deez Balls OYM 1-2 Way to come back blazing! You'll want to ride this momentum as far as it will take you. I would suggest playing the same 5 next week and see if you can duplicate this shut-out. If so I'll start moving you up this ladder. 15 (15) Booze On First (16) Saved By the Ball 0-3 Hey, I'd be proud that you took a round from Beastie. You are playing 99 next week so it could be your chance for a win. Bring you re A game and take it! Not a horrible showing, but 99 stuck to the fundamentals and shut you out. Unfortunately you are up against Beastie next week and that s going to be a tough one. Keep Flipping, you can only get better with practice.

10 Head UMP!! Jason Triyonis I was in the Racetrac Gas Station Yesterday. When I ran into Keith Stone Pondering over a 12 Pack or Cube of Keystone Light. I asked Keith Stone, Since He is so Smooth. What are Some Rules at Being Real Smooth at Kickball. Here are some Keith Stone Rules to Kickball!! Rule #1: Smooth is Buying Keystone Light for Kickball, Smoother is Buying Keystone Light for Your Entire Team. Rule #2: Smooth is Grilling Out for Playoffs, Smoother is Grilling Out With a Keystone Light at Playoffs!! Rule #3: Smooth is Giving the Head Ump a Keystone Light, Smoother is Shot Gunning a Keystone Light with The Head Ump!! Keith Stone Said Keep it Smooth!!

11 Charity corner Whew! Can t believe next Monday we will be half way through the season! Time flies when you re kicking balls & flipping cups. Despite the unrelentless rain storms for the past few weeks, turn out has been good & I have to say the same for charity donations! HUGE thank you to everyone who has given to their team envelopes or made a trip over to Charity Corner at Grits to make a purchase or say hello to Kayla & I. It gets lonely in that corner, so we always appreciate the company! Remember that we have LA Crescent Koozies ($3), LA Crescent T-Shirts ($15), & weekly bar raffle tickets ($1/ea.) for sale in Charity Corner each week! SPEAKING OF THE WEEKLY BAR RAFFLE 1. We are keeping all the tickets purchased each week & will do one big raffle at the end of the season for a half keg. So just because you don t win the week(s) that you purchase, doesn t mean you won t win something.

12 2. Keep in mind that you are putting up $1 to potentially win a $50 bar tab. I d say that s a pretty rewarding investment if you win, so give it a shot! 3. In response to the same teams winning each week: a simple equation more tickets from more teams = greater variety in winning Last week we got (10) tickets from 99, (4) tickets from Mafia, & (1) from BOT. The odds were heavily in favor of 99 Problems winning again, but all that can easily change Hopefully everyone s having a great summer season full of mud & fun! Keep bringing in those dollars do it for the kids!

13 A Word from the Editor Jason Gunz Dupree Way to get all those submissions in at the last minute, everyone. After the I sent out on Friday everyone really stepped up to the plate and kicked a home run to my heart! But we re still only halfway there. The blacklist is much too long. Way to go, BOT, for not only finally getting off the blacklist, but turning in TWO newsletters this week. Here s to more rain and falling in the puddles during every game! -Dupree Raffle Video Hint: Mike quit. TEARS!

14 Donkey Ballers In a battle of 2 strong KICKing teams, the Donkeys got spanked by pitches left and right to the tune of a 4-2 loss. It was a close game, unfortunately sloppy fielding and wet balls were our undoing. Seemed like it wasn t a good day to be named Jeff. Despite the loss, props to Spanking for kicking the shit out of the ball. You guys have hit the fields running.. and kicking. It sucks to lose, but at least we lost to a team that plays the right way. The good thing was we still got to flip some cups, and on that front, the Donkey improvement continues. Once again, a sweep was in order as we spanked those pitches with our cups 3-0 to up our record to 3-0. After losing our best flipper last season, I thought this would be long season of growing pains, but the new Donkey members have added a spark to the table, and we re out of the gate unblemished so far. As always, if there s a choice between winning on the field and winning at the flip cup table, I ll take the flip cup table every day of the week. Which brings us to week 4. Hoping to find a way to make those pigs fly, the Donkey nation needs something to help shock the world and end BOT s 1348 game winning streak, or whatever the hell it s at. So in honor of the NFL lockout finally being lifted, we re going BLACK and GOLD next week, trying to find something that will give us any kind of edge.

15 Hopefully BOT is as shocked as Mr. Referee It s gonna be tough, but in the end, fuck it, it s only kickball. In the meantime, BOT... Suck on these Donkey Balls!

16 Beastie Balls Beastie played hard as usual flew just above the ground (which is harder than it looks) And showed how deep our team still is.

17 Swampstains The sexy senior citizens of Swampstains prevailed once again, 7-2 over Shake N Bake, even though we were missing Bearded Ross (on vacation on the West Coast, studying beard grooming tips from the Giants Brian Wilson) and Rory (who claimed to have a nagging foot injury, but had an awfully quick 1st step when he went to attack Gaubert over a joke our WAKA owner made at Rory s expense...hmmmm), we pulled out the W, with Coach Nancy pitching a complete game and fresh Stain Mike chipping in an RBI. Props to Shake N Bake, who s always fun to play and always gives you a game (ours was closer than the score indicated). We leave you with this picture of yours truly making a brilliant diving red hot to get Swantek out while we were still nursing a 1-run lead, partially to showcase ME, partially because, well...if we had to look at Swantek in a bikini, y all should have to, too.

18 Memphis Mafia Hi Kids. We do qualify to call y all that since we are experienced in life (LOTS of sex and prescription drugs) and seasoned tastefully not in an Emily Post kind of way, more in a crispy fried twinkie ilk. MMMM.NOMNOMNOM..yes, by-and-large, we are a mature team and continue to set the example every week. As a mature team, Elvis feel he should enact some elder duties; there were several people Elvis saw last week that he ll gladly bounce on his knee, give a little horsey ride sorry, the operator just cut me off. Where were we? Oh yes, Week #3. Let it be said that Elvis has NEVER met a Chef he didn t like, and Monday was no exception. Elvis and the Chef had themselves a merry little cocktail party last Monday, but it got annoying after awhile having to get on, then off, then on the field again.our beer cooler stayed off, so that s where Elvis preferred to be. So, apparently, because we bothered to get on the field, a game of some sort was played and everyone kept saying how well the King s team played, scoring 3 runs for the game (and, as it turns out, thus far for the season to boot). The damnable Chinese Fire Drill eventually ended with the Chef claiming his victory, and King being successfully able to return to his beer. Kudos to Chef s team for the win and for being a fun team to play. The King s good rhythm continued at the bar, where he took down the Chef at the table quite hard I might add. Elvis has been rather weak at the tables in recent seasons, but by all rights, is showing some good promise so far this year. Come hang with us kids; you won t regret it!

19 T C B!!!!!!

20 When it's time to kickball, it's time to party hard. I can only wonder what went through the minds of the teams on fields 2, 3 and 4 as the sounds of party horns echoed through the air. Other than the obvious envy the other teams felt when they saw how much fun we were having, were they asking themselves, "What is that all about?" or "Why can't we be as awesome as them?" or "Why are they so excited?" Well, going into Monday's game, we found ourselves with various reasons to celebrate: 1. Phil's 25th birthday. 2. A recent rechristening of our team name to No Ugly Pitches. 3. Successfully scoring our first run! 4. Just because. So, filled with the partying spirit to an extra degree this week, we didn't wait to start the party at Grit's. We brought it right there on the fields, starting it before our game was scheduled to start, unleashing a glorious noise throughout Audubon Park. Kickball? Pfft. Party first. Play second. That's our motto. And, frankly, it must be contagious and inviting since we've added two new players this week. Welcome to the party, Donald and Fanny, the newest members of No Ugly Pitches!

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22 Hellooo Chillllldrreeennn! Splish splash my Salties whooped some ass! Nothing like a good old fashioned Mafia take down to raise my sweet, Chocolately spirits. This was just the first of many victories for the Balls of the salty variety so watch yourself! We re coming out guns blazing on Monday against No Ugly Pitches So do me a favor and savor these sweet delicious Chocolate Satly Balls in your mouth cause we re on our way to the top! That is all. -Chef

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24 Three weeks into the season and Balls on Top is right back in the swing of things sitting 3-0 and looking for a 5 th championship ring to go on the thumb. Sorry we haven t written till now but we were a little busy winning. Welcoming BOT into the 5-timers Club Preseason The message is simple FEAR THE THUMB! BOT is on the hunt for number Five! Week One Nuff Said! Any given Monday (No Ugly Pitches), it was a tough draw getting BOT out the gate. We have not lost a game in 4 seasons for a reason. Hell, I think Caylee Anthony had a better chance in the Duct Tape Aisle at a Florida home depot. (Too Soon?) However, We give you mad respect for the way you dominated the bar post game. Whenever you have a question about the league, girls dancing on top the bar is ALWAYS the right answer. May I further suggest you follow your own chant of Naked Chicks! and turn Club Grits into Visions West? "No Casey, it's only legal to do that before you deliver them..." Week Two America comes to visit. The Da Ballaholics gave us a bit of a scare keeping it tight till the bottom of the 5 th but in the end BOT rallied and scored the walk off RBI when it counted. Let it be a lesson to the other teams, if you are gonna try and beat us, no lead is safe. Keep piling on the runs. Oh yeah and just to add insult to injury our crack flip cup squad handed TJ and his team of assassins a 3-1 loss in the game that really matters.

25 Week Three Keep Deez Balls Out Your Mouth got a gift catching BOT without Captain Crosby s leadership. In a wet and wild one for the ages with some PURE BALLS on top base running, the Purple knights broke the 2-2 tie in the 5 th. The defense and pitching locked up the victory on our way to 3-0. In the words of Jay-Z On to the next one Next Up Now I was told the Donkey Ballers had some choice words for us after last season. I didn t see it myself; our four championship trophies must have been in the way. Apparently we don t play all our teammates and sit our women to win. Take a note kids that we are 3-0 with our women on the mound. When is the last time you put a girl on the pitching mound? And to our haters who say we take kickball way too seriously, trust me when I say we are having fun out there. Trust me, winning is fun! The smile on my face is ear to fucking ear. Why? Because we shouldn t win! We are not exactly the models of physical fitness over here, yet we win because we play as a team! Winning our first two titles, we were the underdogs. And every season since then the beastie balls (the Buffalo Bills of Kickball) have built a team to beat us and failed. So you kids keep bitching to have fun, and we will keep winning to have fun! I would wave at you as I cross home plate, but those four championship rings are just too damn heavy! B-A-L-L-S-O-N-T-O-P helping Beasties Balls finish second since 2009 Even Joe Says Winning Is Fun! You Should Try It!

26 Blah blah blah, we played on the fields..did we win? Don t remember! Blah blah blah, we played flip cup did we win? Don t remember! BUT LIFE...

27 WINNING!! OLE BITCHES!

28 Took it to the beach and with the amount of water on the field I d say that was a pretty sweet idea. Lost the game 5-2, but won flip cup so we can still be all braggy about being UNDEFEATED! Now it s time for a story. Would you like to hear it? Here it go. The Bake: Erica. Apparently she can fly and didn t tell anyone. There once was a team who wanted to have fun. The Titties: Swantek. Best looking man in a bikini I ve ever seen. Even Sean couldn t take his eyes off him. So we put on some floaties and played in the sun. Wait, there s more! The Shake: Melissa, with the assisted out. Who the hell is this guy? He wishes he was on Shake& Bake