April 10, 2016 A MESSAGE FROM ART ROBERTS. Sterling Hills Golf Club OFFICERS

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1 April 10, 2016 Sterling Hills Golf Club A MESSAGE FROM ART ROBERTS Dear Fellow Golfer, I hope you all survived the El Nino floods. I guess with Climate Change that s as good as it gets but at least we got a little of the wet stuff. It did do some good to the courses in the area, especially here at Sterling Hills. It s kind of amusing to see out my window and watch golfers acting like kids at an Easter Egg Hunt looking for golf balls in the high grass. OFFICERS PRESIDENT & HANDICAP CHAIRMAN Art Roberts rtdroberts@roadrunner.com TREASURER & MEMBERSHIP CHAIRMAN Bob Thren rcthren1@verizon.net TOURNAMENT CHAIRMEN Mike Hewitt pj3mhewitt@verizon.net Our club just finished the SCGA Team Play event by winning our division, then moving on to lose to Antelope Valley in the first round of the playoffs. It was a great effort by all and thanks to Mike Wright for all his efforts on the pairings and results. We now have our goal set a little higher for next year. In other news, congratulations to Colin Morinaka for winning the President s Match play by defeating Jim Kosmicki in the finals. As of now the Vice-President Flight is still underway. Upcoming events include the SCGA Two Man Best Ball Qualifier in May. Pick your partner wisely and you may represent our club in Regional play and the Championship round. As you read this some of us are playing the Spring Away tournament in Beaumont. The next Away tournament is scheduled for September in the Central Valley area. Details are included elsewhere in the newsletter. It s been a while since we have mentioned speed of play as an issue and I just want to bring it to your attention again. It seems like we have a few gaps every week, so try to make an effort to stay within reach of the group ahead of you. You all know the tenets of speed of play. Ready golf being the foremost of these. You can probably put your rain gear away for another year but wait it s raining right now! Stay dry my friends! Art Bob Williams bobwill2@roadrunner.com NEWSLETTER Jim Cain jc4golf@netzero.com INTERNET ADDRESS Tournament Schedule Page 2 Weekly Play Results Page 3 SASH Members Page Match Play Page Fall Away Tournament Page 6

2 April 10, 2016 TOURNAMENT SCHEDULE Page 2 of 6 Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. Men Are Just Happier People 2015 TOURNAMENT AND WEEKLY PLAY SCHEDULE Please be aware that the sign-up sheet is very important, in that the pro shop then has an indication of how many tee times to reserve for our men's club. Please be sure to sign up for subsequent Mondays or call the pro shop at (805) no later than 4:00 PM on the Friday prior to the day you want to play to reserve your tee time. If you haven't signed up, the tournament director will add your name to a standby list and then if the pro shop can add more tee times you will be able to play. Please note all changes in our regular weekly play schedule due to Sterling Hills commitments are shown in RED below. The tournaments scheduled for April 26 through June 27 are as follows: Date First Tee* Event April 26 9:00 AM Individual Stableford May 31 9:00 AM Two Man Best Ball June 27 9:00 AM Red/White/Blue Weekly schedule for April 11 through June 27, including the above tournament schedule, is as follows: Date First Tee* Event April 11 9:00 AM April 18 9:00 AM April 26 9:00 AM Individual Stableford May 2 9:00 AM May 9 9:00 AM May 16 9:00 AM May 23 9:00 AM May 31 9:00 AM Two Man Best Ball June 6 9:00 AM June 13 8:45 AM June 20 9:00 AM June 27 9:00 AM Red/White/Blue * Starting times are subject to change. Proper notice will be given if any changes occur. Please take notice of any change from our regular schedule shown in RED above.

3 April 10, 2016 WEEKLY PLAY RESULTS Page 3 of 6 Each week we keep the net scores, places and winnings. Currently the top three places are: 1 st Jim Cain, $175; 2 nd Bruce Sharp, $120; and 3 rd Chuck Wagner, $110. The rest of the standings are shown below. Player Balance From Feb 22, 2016 Feb 29, 2016 Mar 7, 2016 Mar 14, 2016 Mar 21, 2016 Mar 28, 2016 Match Play Apr 4, 2016 Total Winnings Place $$ Net Place $$ Net Place $$ Net Place $$ Net Place $$ Net Place $$ Flt Place $$ Net Place $$ Place Amaki, John $ st $45.00 $45.00 Beltran, Rick $0.00 $0.00 Cain, Jim 1ST $ st $ nd $25.00 $ ST Cooney, Joe $ st $35.00 $ TH Cramer, Larry $30.00 $30.00 Currier, Larry $0.00 $0.00 Donckels, Ray $15.00 $15.00 Faxon, Pete $0.00 2nd $15.00 $15.00 Forman, Mark $10.00 $10.00 Firestone, Marc $0.00 $0.00 Gate, Wayne $15.00 $15.00 Heller, Ron $ st $20.00 $45.00 Hewitt, Mike $0.00 $0.00 Kosmicki, Jim 9TH $ nd $15.00 $ TH Lopez, John $ nd $ nd $15.00 $50.00 Maertz, Richard $0.00 $0.00 Mitsuuchi, John $0.00 $0.00 Morinaka, Colin 9TH $ nd $35.00 $ TH Murray, Steve $ th $ nd $30.00 $40.00 Myers, Larry $0.00 $0.00 Noble, Bud $ st $ th $5.00 $50.00 Peterson, Roger $0.00 $0.00 Pitzler, Doug $0.00 $0.00 Roberts, Art $ rd $ rd $20.00 $45.00 Scherer, Rolf $0.00 $0.00 Sharp, Bruce 6TH $ st $ st $40.00 $ ND Slayton, Don 3RD $75.00 $ TH Teel, Pat 8TH $55.00 $ TH Thren, Bob 4TH $ th $ nd $25.00 $ TH Wagner, Chuck 4TH $ th $ rd $ nd $15.00 $ RD Wagner, Mike $ th $15.00 $50.00 Waller, Mike $ rd $ th $10.00 $35.00 Williams, Bob 2ND $ th $5.00 1st $20.00 $ TH Wishon, Bill 6TH $ rd $25.00 $ TH Wright, Mike $ st $20.00 $40.00 Yoon, Chung Ku $5.00 $5.00 Total Pay Out $ $ $0.00 $85.00 $95.00 $ $0.00 $ $1, $1,505.00

4 April 10, 2016 SASH MEMBERS Page 4 of 6 SASH MEMBERS as of April 10, 2016 AMAKI JOHN FAXON PETE LARSON PAUL ROY ROBERT ANDERSON DANNY FIRESTONE MARC LOPEZ JOHN SCANE DON ANDERSON RICHARD FLORENCA SID LUND GEORGE SCHERER ROLF AULDRIDGE DOUGLAS FORMAN MARK MAERTZ RICHARD SEMER KEN BARKER GREG FORSTER THOMAS MANUEL II GREGORY SHARP BRUCE BAZZANO MIKE FRANK STEVEN MCCARTHY JOHN SLAYTON DON BELTRAN RICK GANO RICH MCCONNELLOGUE JOHN STORZ SIEGFRIED BETTENHAUSEN LARRY GASE JEFF MCQUEENEY BRYAN STURMAN MARTIN BORODATY GREGORY GASSMAN TOM MITSUUCHI JOHN TEEL PATRICK BRANGHAM WALDIE GATE WAYNE MONTOYA MIKE THOMAS TOMMY BRENT DENNIS GIRBOVAN DAVE MORINAKA COLIN THREN BOB BUONARTI TOM GOLDMAN JERRY MURRAY EARL (STEVE) TIFFANY BRIAN CAIN JIM HELLER RON MYERS LAWRENCE TRUJILLO ANTHONY CASTLE DAVID HERNANDEZ MANNY NOBLE JAMES (BUD) VALOVCIN JIM COONEY JOSEPH HEWITT MICHAEL OXFORD JOHN WAGNER CHUCK COYRO ROGER HORN STEVE PATTON TONY WAGNER MIKE CRAMER LARRY HORNBUCKLE JAMES PETERSON ROGER WALLER MICHAEL CRAWFORD DAVE IM WONSOON PITZLER DOUGLAS WHITLOCK CHUCK CURRIER LARRY JONES STEPHEN PLOTKIN STEVE WILLIAMS BOB DELOTT JERRY KELLY CLIFTON PUCHLEVIC BILL WISHON WILLIAM DISTEFANO PAUL KOSMICKI JAMES RICHEY DAVE WOMACK THOMAS DONAHUE JIM LAMB GERALD RICHEY FRED WRIGHT MIKE DONCKELS RAY LARSON DAVE ROBERTS ARTHUR YOON CHUNG KU DUSABLON RICHARD (DUCE) LARSON EUGENE RODRIGUEZ RICHARD

5 April 10, ANNUAL MATCH PLAY Page 5 of 6 How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crapes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. They told me I had type-a blood, but it was a Typo. I changed my ipod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Velcro - what a rip off! Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last. When chemists die, they barium.

6 April 10, FALL AWAY TOURNAMENT Page 6 of 6 Central Valley Golf Sept Our Fall Away tournament will visit the Central Valley of California at the following courses: Sunday, September 25 th at Diablo Grande in Patterson with tee times beginning at 12:30, the course wanders through oaks, creeks and vineyards with various elevations. It is rated one of the top courses in California. Monday, September 26 th will be played at Ridgemark Golf and Country Club in Hollister, a complete golf facility including lodging, restaurant and evening entertainment. Tee times starting at 9:00. Tuesday, September 27 th is at a Fred Couples designed course San Juan Oaks in San Juan Bautista. Tee times at 9:00. Golfers will enjoy this course. We ve played it in the past and was a favorite of everybody. All of these courses are within 30 minutes of each other and offer a variety of challenges. The reservations have been made for 20 golfers and the cost is $125, which includes golf and carts at Diablo Grande and San Juan Oaks. Each golfer signed up will have to pay their own green fees and carts for Ridgemark because the price varies depending on if you stay at the Ridgemark lodge at $125 w/tax per night, then the cost for golf is $35. If you stay somewhere else, the cost of golf at Ridgemark is $49. Secure your spot by sending checks to Art Roberts, 1091 Del Tio Ct., Camarillo, Ca and for more info call