From the Desk of the President

Transcription

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2 Spring 2011 GMOT Newsletter Week 2 From the Desk of the President Dave Pimpin Ain t Easy NOLAmite You know, heading into week 2 s Matches and nervously watching the Weather Channel had me a little bit depressed. Week 1 ended in a frightening cold front storm and here we were, another Monday and another cold front looming. But it was all bluff with no bite, all the kickball was played and all was right with the world. Glad to see that Red Blue Blur took time out from saving the world this week to come join us on the fields and tables. Happiest of all would probably be the Kick in the Balls Krewe as they took the Blur 4-1 on the field to finally right the ship and get their first win of the season. Glad to have ya ll back, Blur!!! The returning 3-peat Champs Balls on Top continue their on-field dominance, picking up where they left off and starting the season 2-0. As usual, it looks like the Crosby boys and their purple people eaters are gonna be the team to beat yet again. But wait, what s that on the horizon? It seems to gallop drunkenly and grind on questionable dancers from Tijuana as it gathers speed. Could it be? No way, is that really what I think I m seeing? Yes, I think it is, it s the undefeated and un-scored on Donkey Ballers in 1 st Place Overall! How could this be? Well I ve done some investigating, and what I found out was shocking

3 The Rise of Donkey Nation That s Right Crescent League, one of the founding members of the Non-Bunting Coalition, who have had a combined record over the past two seasons of ; yes, those the Donkey Ballers, have risen to 1 st Place with a 2-0 record while shutting out both opponents to start the season. How could this be? Well I launched an investigation into how this was even possible. It wasn t easy, the path was full of twists, turns and dead ends, but finally, I got a lead that blew the lid off the entire story. While walking through an alley in Encino, California I overheard a conversation about a new undetectable Performance Enhancing Drug that, if you weren t careful with it, would literally melt your face off. This led me to finally meeting the source of the resurgent Donkey Power. Unfiltered, straight from the Source Tiger Blood For Christ sakes, look at the size of that needle wound for crying out loud So Donkey Ballers, you re currently Bi-Winning but we ll all be watching to see if that Tiger Blood carries you through the season un-defeated. Sheen may Donkey Balls, but judging by the size of that wound, I m guessing he s not giving up another transfusion.

4 The Usual Suspects As we all know, Kickball is only half of the fun every Monday Night. The other half consists of the amazing yet difficult skill of sipping a beer and flipping a 16 oz plastic cup as fast as you possibly can. If the past two weeks have proven anything, it s that there are three amongst us that have elevated this into an art form. Pure one-flip mastery that would rival the feats of Jordan, Michelangelo and Einstein wrapped up into one drunken super-human. King of the Hill has been completely taken over by Jason I photograph models, you should give me your number Dupree, the Grand Master - Sam I put lit cigarettes on my ear and you can suck it Provenza, and Chris Ain t No Half Flippin Cain. Back to back 1 st place finishes by Sam and two weeks of top 4 finishes by Cain and Dupree almost make it seem out of reach for the rest of us mere mortals. Will someone rise to the challenge and unseat the Masters of the Flip, or will they be the Usual Suspects every week, only time will tell May your balls fly true, and your cups flip fast Dave My Eagle will eat yo face NOLAmite

5 Week Two Flip Cup Mike Morris Week two of Flip Cup was a little bit less of a massacre, but we still had 4 blowouts (out of 8 games). Three games came down to game five. It s still the beginning of the season so you have some time to practice! It doesn t have to be a Monday night to play flip cup. Just ask Jersey! In what I ll call the game of the week (and not because I was on one of the teams) Da Ballaholics took on Kick Start My Heart. There s always been a friendly rivalry between these two teams. After a close game on the Kickball field, there was much to prove on the flip cup table. The Ballaholics took a quick two game lead. Kickstart refused to give up and fought a valiant fight bringing the score to 2-2. Da Ballaholics took game 5 to win the series. It was a fun match featuring full-cup flip offs and nudity.

6 KOTH: Week Two Quick reminder: We ve started up the bidding for the extra playoff spot for KOTH. Instead of one spot up for bid each week, there ll only be one spot for the entire season. Plus, the final bid amount will be applied to your team s charity donation amount! Big props goes to Sam Provenza who repeated his 1 st place finish in KOTH. Sam takes three things seriously in life: Building furniture, tan lines, and flip cup. The Beast, better known as TJ Natal, took second after accepting a full-cup flip off against Sammy P. Not to be out done, the Beastie Balls Jason Dupree took third and Chris Cain took fourth. Once again BOTH placed in KOTH. The duo claimed another two spots for their team, bringing their total to 4 in only two weeks.

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8 By Anon E. Moose RK (PR) Team REC Comment 1 (2) Balls On Top (1) Beastie Balls (3) Donkey Ballers (4) Da Ballaholics (6) Living the Dream (9) Swampstains (10) Keep Deez Balls OYM (8) 99 Problems 1-1 Another convincing win for the 3 Time Defending Champs. I apologize for not starting you on top of the list where you belonged; but I thought I would attempt to make things interesting..didn t work.bot is #1. I m keeping you at #2 out of respect, but any more slip ups and you may start falling on the charts. Time to rebound against the 2-0 Ballaholics. 2-0 for possibly the first time in franchise history! Congrats. What was the change? Bunting? Kicking? The moose may have to keep an eye on Donkey Town. Back to back 1 run wins to start the season, very impressive. Now is the time to show you are for real. Take down Beastie and you can be in the conversation. Lose, and your back to mediocre. 21 runs of offense in your first 2 games is quite impressive. And this week brings the Mafia, so if you are a contender, this should be a mere speed bump en route to 3-0. Nice bounce back win against the Wakaffs. I see you as a crafty, veteran team lurking in the shadows. Anyone who knows anything about this league knows it s all about the playoffs! Way to shut the Moose up after my week 1 comments. A tie against Beastie is like an ass kicking to anyone else. Great job! Keep the momentum going this week against KSMH. Since your 1-0 against fake people, and 0-1 against real people.we will leave you at the 8 th spot for this week. But bring you re A game against KITB or you may quickly fall.

9 9 (5) WAKAffs (13) Kick In The Balls (14) Shake and Bake (7) Wasted Talent (11) 14 (12) Chocolate Salty Balls Kick Start My Heart (15) Memphis Mafia (16) Red Blue Blur 0-2 The Moose feels as though you are a few key acquisitions away from being a real contender in this league. This week brings the BOT machine your way, so good luck. Excellent bounce back win against the Blur. You are back to.500 on the season and hopefully you won t have 99 Problems by this time next week. Ok, so you beat the Mafia, big deal and this weeks test should be just as simple.the talent that is wasted. If you lose to them, you may be hopeless cause on the season. Not sure what to say. After a promising 1-0 start, you lose 11-0 to the Dream. Hmmmmm.hopefully this was a fluke and you can bounce back against Shake this week good luck! This is a rare spot on the Power Rankings for the CSB franchise. The moose recognizes that you have a lot of new faces and will give you this season for re-tooling. You are on the top of my list for most shocking starts of the season. Losing to Beastie was ok but falling to the Ballaholics is really going to hurt come playoff time. Try to salvage a.500 season! Atleast you are the most fun team in the league. And with the Prez on your team you are already #1 for the Season!!! Consider the next 6 games as a drunken victory lap! Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

10 Flip Cup Power Rankings Anon E. Mouse RK (LW) Team REC Comment 1 (1) Da Ballaholics (2) Wakaffs (4) Beastie Balls (3) 5 (7) 99 Problems Shake and Bake Now do you see what I was warning you about, you know the whole getting complacent thing? And I know, I know, girls just wanna have fun and all, but you are lucky you made it out of that one with a W, but on the plus side you should be ready for Beastie next week. ***UPCOMING GAME OF THE WEEK*** Nice W over the Stains, even though they didn t give you much competition, you still looked like a championship team. Just get ready to take care of business against BOT next week, to stay at the top. If I had to put the cheese on the line for this game, it would be for you. I m not moving you up because of your win this week, I m doing it because of the KSMH and Da Ballaholics game. You shut KSMH with no problem. Let s see if you can capitalize next week get a W, let s just hope it s more of a flipping game, than a drinking game for your sake. ***UPCOMING GAME OF THE WEEK*** Good game and good win, Donkey Ballers are not the same team from last year, so don t be too discouraged. But I would like to see a Shut Out against KITB next week, or you will find yourself sliding another spot in the poll. You re in the 5th spot not because you have two wins, but because you haven t lost a round yet. That being said, you haven t really being playing the hardest teams. And while WASTED (talent) is better than years past, I would still like to see another Shut Out.

11 6 (6) Balls On Top 1-1 Well it s good to see a win, better to see a shut out. But let s not get cocky, it was just chocolate. You have a real test next week against WAKAffs. Let s see if you can finally beat a top 3 team and exact some revenge from last season. 7 (10) Wasted Talent 2-0 Nice back to back wins!!! But in all honesty, I only moved you up three spots because I wanted you to enjoy being in the top half of the poll cause I love you guys, and I want you to enjoy your record, even if it is only going to be for one week. Good luck against shake and bake!!! 8 (9) Donkey Ballers 1-1 Rough Loss to 99, but you put up a fight and that counts for something, I like how you are growing, keep it up. You shouldn t have a problem with RBB, even if they decided to show up. So just consider this a practice week. 9 (8) 10 (5) 11 (11) 12 (12) Kick Start My Heart 0-2 Swampstains 1-0 Kick In The Balls 1-1 Keep Deez Balls OYM LLC. 0-2 UGhhhh, rough first two weeks. But hey, you played the worst of your season and you should be able to make up some ground in the rankings, I mean you are 0-2 and still ranked 9, so at least you can say someone understands what you are going through. Just make sure you win next week. Yea I know that is a big drop, and I know you are 1-1. But that was a really bad game, the rounds you lost were not even close. But at least you won a round. Just get it together and take down Chocolate next week and we will more you back up. The good news : You are 1-1. The bad News : You are going to have 99 problems next week. My advice is to just have fun, be calm and loose, and if real fire breaks out on their side of the table, then you might win the game. Good Luck Guys!!! Well I didn't screw you this week, this is where you should be, and that s why I still feel bad about last week. Even worse you play KSMH next week, maybe you can pull it off, but I doubt it. 13 (13) Living the Dream 14 (14) 0-2 Memphis Mafia 0-2 Well at least you got close this week, but the LTD of old would have been able to hold Wasted, what happened? Figure it out and fix it, or things will just get worse. And Take advantage of next week! Well no one expected you to win that game, so no biggy. But the good news is that you can win a game next week, you need to pounce while LTD is hurting!!!!

12 15 (15) Chocolate Salty Balls 0-2 You looked good, BOT just looked a lot better, but don't worry, showing up is half the battle, and at least you did that this week. If you play your best people, you just might be able to edge out Stains next week. *** This spot is for Sale for Charity Once Again, Inquire at the Charity Corner For More Information*** 16 (16) Red Blue Blur 0-2 Awesome as usually, I promise I will do some research this week and figure out your losing streak!!! Way to party like a BLUR! RK (LW) Name/ Team Placements Comment 1 (2) Balls On Top Sam P. 1 st,1 st As much as I love you, you spilt too much for me. Everybody gets one, but you know that s now how champions roll. Just don t let that happen again. But that flip after the drinking was pretty damn good. 2 (3) Beastie Balls Chris C. 2 nd,4 th NICE!!!! Back to back is impressive, it was a little rougher than last week, but hey you still made it, and that is what counts!!! Well done. 3 (4) Beastie Balls Jason D. 3 rd, 3 rd Same as above with a hint of great effing good job winning KOTH both Wednesday and Thursday!!! I just wish I could include that in my factoring of this poll, you would be number one, but I can t, Monday is where the champs play. 4 (9) Da Ballaholics Tj N. 2nd Well you kinda got screwed, it definitely wasn t forfeiture, but y all should have flipped again. But it ain t nothing for you, it s not like you won t win one this season. 5 (5) Keep Deez Balls OYM LLC Paul Z. 4th Well you didn t make it this week, but hey, shit happens. Enjoy your time at the top while you can.

13 6 (0) Swampstains Sean G none Not even close sir, What happened to that golden finger? SOOOOOOOOOOOOO Close, so far. 7 (0) Balls On Top Josh L. none 8 (0) Beastie Balls Mark V. none I Know you didn t play this week, the reason you are moving up is because you judged, and we always appreciate when good players step into judge. 9 (0) Kick Start My Heart Emily H. none Did not play, lame. 10 (0) Da Ballaholics Jessica P. none Pretty sure you didn t play, but at least you were cheering for friendship, that keeps you in the top ten.

14 Charity Corner Becky Neeb & Kayla Stitcher Week 2 was record-breaking in the charity arena apparently one of the biggest our charity veterans have ever seen! Huge thanks to everyone that donated! Between 3 night of kickball & enough shots after Thursday s game to kill a (thanks Teddy!), I forgot to get the standings, but I did manage to remember what teams make up the top 3: MEMPHIS MAFIA LIVING THE DREAM 99 PROBLEMS

15 Don t worry, I ll have all the standings next week but until then, keep turning in the moola. This week we did start the auction for a playoff KOTH spot. This will continue every week & the highest bidder at the end of the season will win a chance at being KOTH season champ. See Kayla or I at Charity Corner each week to sign up. Look for this sheet:

16 Zack Bogardus (KDBOM) and Margaux Dubuar (KSMH) need your support to keep their impending nuptials from crumbling before the big day this summer. With the two lovers to battle it out on the field this Monday, the house has never been on shakier ground. It s been rumored that Margaux has been red hotting Zack in the shower every morning leaving massive welts while Zack has been performing takeout slides on her while she cooks dinner. Please help this turmoil laden relationship by voting for them to win the Crate and Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest and restore some hope to this once beautiful love connection. They are currently 54 th out of over 4000 couples so please take 15 seconds, literally, to click the link below and vote for them to win. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3: 1. Go to 2. Click "Vote" 3. Log-in using your facebook username (bottom left-hand corner) to register your vote. Don't have facebook? No problem! Just fill-out your first name, last name, , and create a password, then click the link Crate and Barrel will send to your . Thanks (in advance) for voting, and for getting your friends/family/ co-workers to help them through this troubling time.

17 A Word from the Editor Jason Gunz Dupree Once again you guys did not let down. Along with turning in some great submissions, we really got a lot more of them turned in quicker than week one. Great job being on top of things, everyone. As for the timing of the release of this newsletter, we can blame the winds for pushing back our jump time (skydiving). Special shout out to Swampstains who submitted two newsletters. One of which is very special in that it is from the perspective of someone who only experienced the games through the pictures. The bar tab drawing video this week is embedded as a hyperlink in a picture. You ll have to search for it. You get two hints. Hint 1: It s a picture of a guy running with a birthday hat on. Hint 2: Hold control and click the picture to open the link. Too many teams on the list this week. Come on guys, step it up. -Dupree

18 Bi-Winning Donkey Ballers 2 weeks into the 2011 spring LA Crescent season, and the Donkey Ballers are 2-0. What the hell has happened since last season to cause all this? We ll get to that later, but first a word from our sponsor. Donkey Online Media Entertainment presents the DOME Patrol Podcast, a podcast by Saints fans for Saints fans. The crew drunkenly discusses Saints, NFL, Hornets, and LSU along with some other random topics. You can subscribe on itunes or stream at Back to the action at hand, this week the Donkeys took to the fields against 99 Problems. They started with 99, but left with 100 as we once again rolled to a 3-0 victory. Once again, the key was defense. 99 could never really muster anything outside of maybe one inning, but our defense still shut them down and we were able to score enough runs to win. All around solid play in the field and at the plate has been a great surprise in this early season, and hopefully we can keep it up for a full season, and then the playoffs where we ll hopefully get to play more than one game. MVD of the game goes to Marc, who made some fantastic plays behind the plate and increased the lead with a home run in the bottom of the 4 th. Early season MVD so far. The real mystery to some is: where the hell did this sudden strong defensive presence come from? The key to that lies with another professional organization in the city.

19 The leader of the defensive renaissance Monty Williams, the young coach of the Hornets, has instilled a defensive philosophy in the Bees, and we looked to the results he s produced in his first season and realized that s the key to having more success on the fields. In past seasons, we ve always been undone by one or two innings of sloppy plays, but thanks to a renewed focus, that hasn t been the case so far this year. We invited Monty to Donkeytowne to give us some quick pointers on how to clamp down on mental errors, and the guy really has IT. The Hornets are lucky to have a guy like that, and we re lucky to have learned from him. Like they say, defense wins championships, and it looks like we ve finally found one capable of doing so. Looking to keep the winning streak alive, we headed to the flip cup table with another sweep in mind, and early on it looked like that would be the case as we stormed to a quick 2-0 lead. At this point, a 4 th straight 3-0 sweep appeared inevitable, but you can t ever rest on your laurels, not with all the drunks in this league. In a close match, 99 stormed back to give us our first loss of the season 3-2. Props go out to all 99 flippers for a great match at the table and on the fields. It was definitely a pleasure. Not sure what happened to our flipping mojo, but we just couldn t get it done. It was an off night at the bar as we didn t even come close to sniffing a king of the hill qualifier either. I don t know what the deal was, maybe we weren t drunk enough at the start? Who knows. Either way, we will get back on that donkey next week.

20 Expect anything less? What does the future hold for the Donkeys? Have the first two weeks been a fluke, or are we the real deal? I think it s the latter, but only time will tell. All I know is that it feels really good to be a Donkey. After being the ass of jokes by all the bunting teams, the tables may be starting to turn. Now, we ve always been about having fun and not getting too caught up in winning and losing, so don t you go think that s changed. We never take ourselves too seriously, and won t change even if more wins come our way. We will always be Jack asses, not D-bags. Next up is Red Blue Blur, who I think beat us last year, so we ll be out for revenge, assuming you guys show up. Regardless, our confidence is building and we should be able to grab a 3-0 record next week.

21 Since I could not personally make it out to the fields on Monday, here s the feedback I gathered from my fellow team members: Woody did some great fielding Great pitching by Tino Also, Fullen did a great job as fill-in catcher for Tiger Woods. Marg's great catch in the outfield Ginny was drinking her drink in Right field when the ball came straight to her...she put down her drink and had to chase the ball. (GREAT drink protection, Ginny! At least you made an effort in the end!) Spike showing up Morty and chasing him all over the field (Morty getting winded before Spike) (Morty, is this TRUE??) I need Andrew s Starbucks to Old Luckily, I was able to witness our incredible flip cup victory!! Comeback Kids!! Donkey Ballers, you are always a fun group to compete against though!!

22 The look on Tim s face says it all! Sorry Batter up Kick in the Balls next week!! Random Rant: To all the FEMALE Monday Kickballers Can we PLEASE knock off the same 4 dudes who place in KOTH?? We need to get at least ONE girl in the top 4 soon. What happened to the powerhouses from seasons gone by.heath, Jersey, Michelle Dee?? Please find your way back to the tables and make us proud!! We got 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain t One Hit me!!

23 Kick in the Balls Kick in the Balls is coming back in full force for the Spring 2011 Season! With our amazing DOUBLE WIN on Tuesday against the Red Blue Blur! WATCH OUT! Our typical meet and greet grab bag pregame activities seemed to energize and motivate our team like no other evening could it have had been the Corona Extra or Red Dog? We will never know. What we do know is that if Phil is behind you run like you have never ran before!

24 Kickstart My Heart Throughout history there have been great rivalries: The Greeks and Persians, Red Sox and Yankees, Tranformers and Gobots. Kickball has its rivalries too and none better then the Ballaholics and Kick Start My Heart. We showed up prepared for battle. If these USA chanting fruit-booters thought they were going to just walk onto the field and record a win, they had another thing coming. Fueled by Superior margaritas and Vodka soaked gummy bears, our team was hungry for the competition. Jason No Loitering On Store Property Feder talked his usual shit, but our team was unfazed. The game was an even match with both teams playing solid defense keeping the score at a low 2-2. Going into the final inning the Ballaholics were at the top of their line up with outs to give. With a man on third, it only took a well placed kick to right field to score the winning run. The battle (and shit talking) continued on to the Flip-Cup table. The match began with a full-cup flip-off. After spilling most of his beer down his frilly shirt, Feder flipped his cup and the race was off. The Ballaholics took a quick two game lead, but our troops rallied and fought our way back

25 to tie the game. The adrenaline was flowing and it only felt right that I blast my balls across the table. The lustful stares from the Ballaholics and roar from the crowd stoked the embers of our competitive spirit. We drank and we flipped, we flipped and we drank but in the end, the Ballaholics took the game. We may have lost the battle but the war has just begun. We walked away from the table a stronger team. We had brought the Flip Cup champions to 5 games and all with the unfortunate absence of our greatest warrior, Emily Heath. Next week s a new game and we plan to take full advantage.

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27 KDBOM LLC. KDBOM LLC. are ready to take the WAKA world by storm with the return of their fearless chant creator. Finalizing and practicing their team chant on Monday proved to be the final nail in the coffin for the rest of the LA Crescent League. They re now ready to keep all the other ball ers out of the League Championship mouth. KDBOM doing what they do, keeping balls outchya mouth. Beasties just tasted the balls and were let by with a tie. Future Depiction, the rest of the League will clearly not be able to keep the balls outchya mouth. Next up, Prick and KSMH. Yes prick does have a sharp intuition to keep the balls out but will ultimately succumb.

28 Beastie Balls Beastie definitely didn t play our best, but we still put up a fight. It was a great game with a friendship run count. I can t say the same for Flipcup Relay or King of the Hill. I ll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

29 Living the Dream Really, ladies and gentlemen, we tried to tell you last week: THIS Pink Most Definitely DON T Stink. In week one of the WAKA season the retooled Living the Dream put up an impressive 10-6 win over a very formidable opponent in Shake and Bake, despite the weather. The 10 points put up last week was the most of any team in the league, but LTD was still only ranked 6 out the 8 teams that put up a win. Hopefully Week 2 did a little more to convince the league of our validity. Once again, our offense speaks for itself by putting up 11 runs, but we made vast strides of improvement on defense, allowing zero runs scored. This win was achieved without the services of our Captain, who was out of state with work obligations. We also had to play without one of our invaluable teammates, Kelly See, I m not a hypochondriac LaRocca to torn ligaments in her ankle. Living the dream is a team to be reckoned with this season. Our home run hitting ability, base running, and solid fielding (great work this week, Spicy!) will all contribute to our goal: To get the respect that we deserve, and to induce that nervous and scared feeling young virgins get when they see the pink for the first time. Granted, we still have a little work to do in the flip cup arena, but we are improving every week. Living the Dream is excited for the rest of the season, and look forward to showing each and every one of you guys on the field and in the bar what it s like to chase the pink.

30 Wasted Talent There was 99 Problems with our on the field performance this week. It was like Kick in the Balls. All game we were looking for something to Kickstart our Heart like in week one when we Shake n Baked the sweet taste of victory with our Balls On Top. But, week two left us with nothing but that taste of Chocolate Salty Swampstained Beastie Ball nastiness in our mouth. Living the Dream were Da Ballaholics of our week two matchup and Kept Deez Balls OTF. Our run production mirrored the Red Blue Blur performance of week one as if we just stayed home and WAKAffed. At some points we almost wished someone from the Memphis Mafia would put us out of our misery but, then we remembered why you can t let the little things get to ya Kickball is only a part of the pie. We couldn t let a dropped pop fly, allowing six runs in the first inning, or not crossing home plate once, dictate or destroy our evening. Not WASTED TALENT! We feed off the on-the-field depressing 11-0 demolition by motivating our fingers for the flipping that would redeem our Donkey Balling by the zoo. And long story short, when it comes down to it, we remain UNDEFEATED in what really matters. In addition to having our first blowout of the season the second week of kickball was a week of firsts for Wasted Talent. It was the first game for many of our rookies, the first time one of our players tried to take off with the charity money (sorry Neebs) and one lucky girl s first lady-kiss (wink wink). And we did it all in Wasted Talent fashion. I imagine it looked something like this. Our next game is against Shake and Bake you know, those hippies with the tie-dyed shirts. We were planning on having a cops and robbers theme for this game, but leave anything up to Erica and I and it ll be lost in 2 drinks. So instead of bringing out the batons and wearing our handcuffs we ll just have to plan on stealing a victory. On a side note, it would be nice to see TJ slip back into his hotdog suit. Now as I said before, Wasted Talent has quite a few rookies but that doesn t mean we plan on changing our solid reputation. Unfortunately a few of the newbies have been a little reluctant to stay at the bar past 9:00 pm, therefore I m going to need some help this next week to make sure Wasted Talenters live up to their name. If you happen to catch a bright oranged t-shirt walking towards the exit I highly recommend introducing them to the good ol fashioned PARTY WALL. There are limited pictures of party walls online, but you get the idea. In closing, WAAASSSTED TALENT!!!

31 Swampstains After a disappointing opening game loss, the Stains came back strong with a three to one victory over the Wakaffs. The Wakaffs always put up a good game on the field. Their pitcher has a strong arm and makes it difficult for bunting teams such as ourselves to score too many runs. They are talented in kickball as well as matters pertaining to self pleasure The Stains displayed our strong defensive skills and Kevin #1 had another solid outing on the mound. Kevin #2, the new guy, had the kick of the game. He perfectly booted the red ball to land on the left field line to knock in a run. The bearded duo of Kevin #1 and Ross also had solid kicks that contributed to the win. Week one produced a masterful come from behind win at flip cup for the Swampies. This week didn t come close to that triumph. The hairy-palmed yellow team showed off their skillful handwork On a lighter note, we were treated to a double dose of sexy this week as Jason s sister came to town to check out her bro s game skills. The sexy patrol was out in full force!

32 Swampstains from another point of view - I was unable to attend this week s contest between Swampstains and WAKAFFs, but I ll be damned if I let details like facts get in the way of good reporting. Thankfully, I have Ross Davis excellent photos on Facebook to give me a guide to what happened in the game. Apparently it went like this: Liz ran an indeterminate distance between two bases and was either safe or out at her destination. The fellow on the WAKAFFs with the shaved head either threw a pitch or pointed at something over his shoulder. New Guy (Kevin is the name on his birth certificate I believe) kicked a ball while sticking his tongue out. Stolz threw a pitch with a bo-bo on his knee. Bearded Ross continues to sport the league s best beard (sorry, Stolz). A WAKAFF in a camo hat bunted or kicked a ball or levitated it with his mind, it s hard to tell. John caught a ball while eyeing Michelle suspiciously (pictured below). Somewhere along the way, the Stains scored 3 runs and the WAKAFFs scored 1. And we all lived happily ever after, the end, go Stains.

33 WAKAffs Wakaffs- Week 2 This week we lost in kickball to the Swampstains but came back with a Flip Cup win and that s really all we care about!! Also, please keep your eyes out for a repeat dance performance at Grits next week by our boy band wannabes: Week 2 MVPs: James on the boat like Leo aka Jimbo. Girls, watch out! He s on fire. This guy is ready to prove he is worthy of your admiration. Starting off strong and proving his worth to the team, we give a Wakaff salute to one of the most improved players on the team. Don t be fooled by his quiet nature, this guy is a comedian so laugh at his dry humor. Please?

34 Joanna: She is known as Deuce and is every guy AND gal s wet dream. This rockstar is a true team team player who hungers for a win and a chance to be QOTH. This fun, lovable girl can down a beer with the guys. Anything you can do, she can do better. We all know she can wear it better too especially in those sequin shorts! What do we do in the morning? WAKAFF What do we do in the evening? WAKAFF What do we do when we Wakaff? WIN!

35 Memphis Mafia Early on in Elvis career, he experienced phenomenal and unprecedented success and popularity. It bears noting whenever anyone is spoken about in church more than my goodlordbabyjesus, and that was the case in the 50s. Like any rebel, his denouncement by the repressed religious right only made him more popular. He shook. He shimmied. He strutted. He slung his guitar around his shoulder like a badass bandolier. The ladies shrieked at the very sight of him. He could snarl an orgasm out of an otherwise pious choir girl. Clean yo self up, Baby! But at heart, Elvis was still a proud and poor rural kid, with decent values and a good appetite. He continued to ride the mighty wave of his largeness for many years, surely with much of that country boy charm intact. And then.the hippies arrived. Pot-smokin, pinko-commie, Yahweh-hatin, soldier-bashin hippies! Long-haired preppy boys from England supplanted the King for awhile, whilst hippies followed the trend du jour and tried expanding their minds with little tabs of paper.not that there s anything wrong with that! But, the hippies were missing something. They were missing the rock and the roll and the soul and the rhythm. Hippies believed not in these basic tenets of the new musical humanity; instead they craved the esoteric and the bleak; the pastel hallucination and anything that told them it was okay to be naked and hairy out in public..but I digress: the King quite obviously did not approve of the hippies, especially back in their hayday. To Elvis, they represented spoiled indulgence and poor hygiene and all that is taken for granted on this here Uncle Sam s farmland. Elvis even took his cause to the White House (yes, THAT White House) and pressed his case to Tricky Dick. \

36 I am not a Hippie!! I m hip, Dick! Dick loved his Jesus, and by extension (and by political advantage), loved his Elvis. Though, despite their mutual solidarity, they made no dent in hippiedom the nation over. Perhaps their collective wisdom realized, before the rest of us did, that the hippies would, nor could amount to anything formidable to worry about then, or forevermore. Nothing more than punchlines and smelly amusements for the years to come. Hey man, that s, ya know, like, your opinion. And the Memphis Mafia found themselves with face-to-face with Hippie incarnate during Week #2. Despite Elvis real feelings of hippies back in the day, the Mafiosas could not help but enjoy the fun that these hippies brought to the game. The hippies had a birthday boy amongst them (did not know his name, or if he was really human), and the entire team celebrated throughout the game something the Mafia could truly appreciate. Yes, that brings the Mafia to 0-2 ; likewise at the Flip Cup table. However, in both venues, the coaches saw a number of positive things to build on. So much so, that Elvis has so advised us that, if we play our cards right, we should have at least one win this season. Watch out fans, it is on!! TCB kids!!

37 We showed up, we played, but our 1st baseman sucked...so we lost. Red Blue Blur Ey yo, yea you...flip cup isn't that serious but if you're going to play you need to put some beer in that cup.