Southern Cape Nomads Golf Club

Transcription

1 Equipment - Chrisleo Botha Club Liaison and Newsletter - John Lees Southern Cape Nomads Golf Club The Nomads Creed No man is an island entire of itself; Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; Any man s death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind. And therefore, never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. OCTOBER 2016 Newsletter October Monthly Game Mossel Bay Golf Club Mossel Bay Golf Club was the venuee for our October monthly game. It was a glorious day albeit a little windy, but that is what one expects along our coast. Mossel Bay course was in magnificent condition with very slick greens that kept the scores reasonably low. We thank the club and their employees for their great hospitality and wonderful facilities. We also thank their Captain and committee for making their course and club house available for us. Acting Captain s Report Mossel Bay Golf Club, what a beautiful course! We are very spoilt with our choices of the best golf courses in South Africa. To all Fellow Nomads As Captain, Marcel was away in Mauritius, I had the privilege of once again standing in for him as acting captain for the day. I could get used to this and am beginning to realise what

2 Steve our regular IPC felt like! We had an excellent day with good, but slightly windy weather and the golf course was in a magnificent condition. The greens were very fast which made the day interesting. for us. I also had the pleasure of handing out three silver salvers, two to David Eveleigh and the other to Flats Huisamen. Our Main sponsor of the day was our Vice Captain, Christo Langenhoven of Coastal Rigging and we sincerely thank him for the wonderful meat hampers he arranged. These are always popular prizes. Christo, we really do appreciate and value you as a sponsor. I had the pleasure of playing with Derek van Heerden, the club representativee of Mossel Bay. Derek many thanks for the use of your golf course and the hospitality you and your staff gave us on the day. Well done to VC Christo for a slick prize giving and of course once again a very big thank you to our Pink Ladies, Berti, Helen and Christna for all you do Well done, Guys! Dave Meyer - I P C

3 A teacher asks her students to raise their hands if they were Springbok rugby fans. Everyone raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher says "Why aren't you a Springbok fan?" The girl says "I'm an All Black fan" The teacher asks why. "Because my mum is an All Black fan, and my dad is an All Black fan, so I'm an All Black fan too!" The teacher says "That is no reason. What if your mum was an idiot and your dad was an idiot, what would you be then?" "Then I'd be a Springbok fan. Match Secretary Monthly Game Report We had a small field of 52 players comprising 47 Nomads, 1 Visiting Nomad, 1 Prospective Nomad and 3 Guests Harry Treunich,from Boland enjoying our company Div Nomads Guests Agg Average A B C NOMADS Scoring Statistics Cut No change Gained Ave Score Southern Cape s own Godfather! A great deal of preparation goes into producing a successful fines session! Well done Brandon An excellent fines session! And then there is Old Man Time! And he sees everything!

4 PLEASE SUPPORT OUR NATIONAL SPONSORS

5 PRIZE GIVING Mossel Bay Golf Club Divisional Winners A Div Willem Braaff B Div Michael Self C Div Will Sharpe 34 Pts 35 Pts 39 Pts Worst Playing Fourball Piet Putty, Shadrack Donson, Douw de Lange and John Cooper 103 Pts Runners up A Div Gustav Steinhobel 33 Pts B Div Christo Langenhoven 34 Pts C Div Glen Boscombe 38 Pts Best Playing Pair Willem Braaff and Will Sharpe 73 Pts Matchbox Winner Willem de Voogt Glenbrynth Winners 18 Pts Best Playing Fourball Will Sharpe, Willem Braaff, Gustav Steinhobel, B Danvers 134 Pts Over 55 Winner Will Sharpe 39 Pts Barry Danvers (One bottle), Jimmy Leggat (Three bottles) and Steve Twycross (Two bottles)

6 KWV Brandy Winners Ken Haldane, Douw de Lange, Cameron Boccaleone THE SOUTH EASTER TOURNAMENT Remember the entries for the South Easter Tournament against Eastern Cape Nomads is scheduled to take place next month on Saturday 12 th and Sunday 13 th November. Entries close on 28 th October so get your entries in to Steve Twycross as soon as possible. We need at least twenty SC Nomads for the team. Remember the Sunday game is a monthly game so can be used as a make-up game if you have missed one of our games! The games will be played at St Francis Links on Saturday and Cape St Francis on Sunday. The costs are as follows: Saturday St Francis Links R300 (cart included) Sunday - Cape St Francis R200 but does not include a cart. Carts must be individually booked. Tee off both days at 11h00 Come on Guys lets really support our Club and have a big entry! MEMBERSHIP FIGURES Full 67 Associate 10 Sponsor 10 Honorary 12 Non Playing 5 Non Active 1 Suspensive 0 Total 105 Prospective 5 Sick Parade Arthur Ambrose (Heart Attack) Mario Jonker (Stroke) Thys Cronje (Shoulder Op) It was great to see Arthur and Irene at the game on Sunday. Arthur doing well and we hope to have him back on the course in the not too distant future. SOUTHERN CAPE FIXTURES 2016/ November 12 th /13 th South Easter at St Francis Links November 20 th Knysna December 4 th George 2017 January 15 th Kingswood February 12 th Plettenberg Bay March 19 th Oudtshoorn March 26 th George (Gold Cup) March 11 th 17 th Jock Nationals Nelspruit

7 God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.' The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?' And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.' 'Can you give us an example?' 'Thou shall not kill.' 'Not kill? We're not interested..' So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honour thy Father and Mother.' 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.' Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.' 'Not steal? We're not interested.' Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.' The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.' 'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.' Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments..' 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?''they're free.' 'We'll take 10.' I recently spent R6500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour's cows! He's like a machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but they taste a little like peppermint! A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it." The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But this is something you should discuss with your wife. IF you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor. "We're getting new granite countertops for our kitchen." Giving money and power to government is like giving whisky and car keys to teenage boys. P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8 Mujibar was trying to get a job in India... The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.' Mujibar said, 'I am ready.' The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green...' Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, And I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.' Mujibar now works at the Telstra-Clear call centre. No doubt you have spoken to the bastard. I know I have! Husband s Message (by mobile phone): Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they may have to amputate the right foot. Wife s Response: Who is Paula? A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?" The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun." "And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man. "It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body." said the father. The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet? His father replied, "These are 'babouches, which keep us from burning our feet in the desert." "So tell me then," added the boy. "Yes, my son? "Why are you living in London and still wearing all this shit?" Southern Cape Nomads Committee 2016/17 Captain Marcel Meiring Immediate Past Captain Dave Meyer Vice Captain Christo Langenhoven Junior Vice Captain Douw de Lange Secretary Austin Graves Treasurer Berti Harris Match Secretary Berti Harris Membership Flats Huisamen Handicapper Tannah Harris Furtherance of Golf Tannah Harris Sponsorship Hiron Snell Equipment Officer Frankie Brown Club Liaison John Lees Newsletter John Lees Away Tours Steve Twycross Golforama Chrisleo Botha Please note our next game is at Knysna Golf Club on Sunday 20 th November. See you on the tee! Your Scribe