The Aether Chronicle

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1 Th Athr Chronicl Th Imaginar y Alt r nat His t or y of t h St ampunk Empir From Sunday July 13, 2014 t o Sunday July 27, 2014 Th Night Circus Th following storis ar basd on th book Th Night Circus by Erin Morgnstrn. Crtain dtails hav bn altrd to avoid copyright infringmnt. Th contnt of Th Night Circus, up to and including dirct quots, blongs xclusivly to th author. Th Night Circus Arrivs in London! On July 9th th Constabulary was notifid that a group of Gypsis had crossd th Bridg of London, with covrd camp wagons drawn by coal-black horss. Thr wr furthr rports of a din coming from Picadilly Squar, as coupls mrging from th thatr or partaking in an vning stroll saw scaffolding slowly crawling towards th sky, black and whit swaths of silk draping th cobblstons, and a virtual small city of torchs and tnts. All onlookrs wr turnd away. Whn Scotland Yard appard on th scn, a wid gat had bn rctd around th squar, with rgular signs postd: Th Night Circus Opn from Midnight to Dawn. Wll, radrs, th word sprad lik wildfir: Th Night Circus has com to London! That Intrnational phnomnon, a circus dsignd to rival all wondrs of th world, so thrilling and shroudd in mystry that it only opns at midnight, and is compltly shut down bfor th first light of dawn. Folks from all ovr th world hav stumbld out of thos circus tnts babbling about magic, dath-dfying fats, and othr impossibilitis. Womn hav bn ld out th gats wping at th bauty and majsty within. Childrn ar invitably aslp and bing carrid hom at dawn, stuffd so full of swts and having xprincd such wondrs that thy rmmbr that night forvr, lik som wondrous dram. Ndlss to say, radrs, this rportr obtaind a tickt at onc, and was among th first standing in lin whn th wrought iron gats swung inward, allowing th first visitors to ntr. Thr wr tiny lantrns twind in th branchs of a larg tr, which had crtainly not bn in th middl of Picadilly th night bfor. A whit sign rad: Th Wishing Tr. Visitors to th circus from all ovr th world lit th tiny lantrns and mad a scrt wish. Many claimd thy had hard that onc a wish is mad on Th Wishing Tr, it is crtain to com tru. Whil othr circuss ar a riot of bright colours, th thm of Th Night Circus, or rathr L Cirqu ds Rêvs is ntirly black and whit, lnding th xprinc an Othrworldly snsation. Th ri nots of a harmonium bgan to trmbl through th air, wonky and disjointd, but curiously mlodic. Ducking into th first tnt, visitors bhld a circl of chairs around a small dais. A singl spotlight rvald a tiny woman of th Orint, drssd in swaths of shr black silk hld fast by a nat corst. Sh introducd hrslf as Tsukiko. Sh bowd dfrntially to th audinc, bfor swinging hr lg up so hr sho rstd on top of hr had! Thn sh bowd in th opposit dirction, so hr chopsticks touchd hr hls, and poppd both shouldrs out of hr joints, so th audinc gaspd at th horror of sing th spinning gars that opratd hr arms! Sh was a contortionist, but on of th most uniqu varity: a Bionic woman, whos flxibility dos not tnd ithr forward or backwards, but both du to hr mchanical spin. Sh had th fluidity and grac of a dancr, yt th marvllous mchanical advancmnts of a mastr Enginr! Th audinc gaspd with aw as hr had ros off hr shouldrs, suspndd by wirs and stl rods, bfor th tnt ruptd into applaus. This rportr ndd to rcovr from th strangnss of th first act, and a glass of rfrshing whit win and black popcorn fortifid th body nough for th nxt tnt. Th Fir Eatr was rumourd to hav onc bn a coal man on a train, bfor an xplosion in th Tndr rndrd him a human firbox, ostnsibly having had his larynx rplacd with boilr tubs, in an ffort to control th combustibl gass roiling around in his blly. Th slightst cindr and th Fir Eatr s castiron jaw dislocatd to mit a plum of whithot fir, whil stam pourd out of his ars! Th Air Dancrs wr womn with whls and axls for hands and ft, all connctd by black ribbons. Togthr ths womn manipulatd a complx intrconnctd wb that allowd thm to wav and danc togthr, suspndd hundrds of ft abov a cowring audinc. Th Cloud Maz was an unrivalld fat, th mchanics and plausibility of which is still hotly dbatd. Th sign bfor th tnt simply rad: Ascnd to th Havns; Hav no Far of Falling. Insid th tnt viwrs wr mt by an unknown numbr of platforms, ramps, rops, and nts all stackd atop on anothr in a smingly ndlss scaffold (it could not b calld a towr simply bcaus thr wr no walls or ciling to spak of.) Across ach dark platform a thick and hazy vapour condnsd at th kn, cool but not unplasant. Th vapour continud to swirl and xpand, until family mmbrs wr raching out for far of losing on anothr off th dg of th platforms. Visitors bgin to climb, surroundd by this nchanting mist, with nothing but th night sky flckd with stars to guid thm. This alon would hav bn a wondr, but, dar radrs, th platforms also movd. Not with lurching, trrifying shuddrs, but pacfully drifting apart and thn rconvning long nough for a bold soul to lap from on platform to anothr, thn climb a rop, or a nt, or prhaps grab hold of a platform that was rising gracfully to th vry top! Many climbrs insistd that this was mrly a brilliant fat of nginring (mrly!) and not magic or vn slight of hand. Th countrpoint to this argumnt was always thn whn w lap off to rturn to th ground, how do w land on somthing soft!? Svral hypothss suggstd that prhaps th clouds wr noxious gass, which allowd on to bliv thy had driftd to th ground, as light as swansdown, to land on th grass blow without so much as a jolt. Th Tnt of Lost Souls was full of mirrors, which always showd th viwr a lovd on that had bn takn by Dath. Th Fortun Tllr was blind, insofar as sh had two glittring orbs insrtd in vacant sockts, hld fast by a st of brass goggls, and sh could rad your futur bcaus hr mchanical saw past th flsh and into your Soul. Insid vry tnt wr wondrs upon wondrs that th logical mind insistd could not b ral, thy must b tricks of som sort, costums and craft, smok and mirrors. But this protstation did whn this rportr passd a sign that rad: Fats of Illustrious Illusion. Th sight of a prtty but distinctly unrmarkabl bruntt woman with fair skin cam almost as a rlif to th ovrwrought snss. Miss Clia Bown was garbd in a gown of bright whit silk, so sh shon lik a flam in th dark. Sh opratd no props, sh pulld no strings, thr wr no chap puffs of smok. Th illusions and transformations wr fluid and continuous, as spontanous as a passing whim. Miss Bown s black cloak turnd into a ravn, which alightd upon a young boy s chair, cawing. With a turn of hr palm sprang whit dovs, who thn appard in viwr s purss, or undr thir top hats. Miss Bown changd a man s pockt watch from gold to sand, and thn back again. With a gstur all of th viwrs chairs ros svral inchs off th ground! Miss Bown concludd hr marvls with bow on a pivoting turn, includd all of th satd audinc. Th dais on which sh stood had two words ngravd upon it, almost concald by hr trailing gown: In Mmoriam. But to whom this rportr could not say. As th night sky gradually pald to indigo, warning th rêvurs that dawn was not far, th iron gats sprang to lif, slowly closing bhind th last visitors. Dar radrs, this rportr swars that all that has bn writtn hr is th truth. Th Night Circus is th paramount in modrn marvls, a fantasy of ri nchantmnt and passing drams, and this rportr will not rst until mor is known!

2 According to Miss Clia Bown, Illusionist, Th Night Circus arrivs without warning... Exposé: Miss Clia Bown, th Illusionist Of all th miraculous tnts at Th Night Circus, this rportr found th Illusionist s tnt th most complling. Rturning a scond night, and thn a third, finally attractd th attntion of th stmd conjurr Miss Clia Bown hrslf! This rportr could not dclin th lady s polit invitation to hr privat tnt, in btwn hr midnight and two o clock a.m. prformancs. Wll, dar radrs, whatvr prconcptions this rportr might hav had with rgards to bhind th stag of Th Night Circus wr natly and ntirly ovrturnd! No quit camp-bdrooms ths, Miss Bown opnd a tnt-flap to hr privat quartrs to rval a fir burning mrrily upon nothing at all! Th flams wr suspndd in midair, so this rportr invstigatd by waving a hand bnath th crackling coals. Miss Bown laughd at such incrdulity, considring all Th Night Circus had to offr. Th room itslf was drapd in costly vlvts in dark crimson and vrgrn. Th furnitur was old, slightly battrd, but minntly comfortabl. A ta srvic sat at th rady on a sid tabl. But th ral marvl wr th books. So many books! All tuckd natly into thir rspctiv shlvs which wr lvitatd up to th ciling! This rportr stood agog, whil survival instincts clamourd in th back of on s mind, insisting that gravity would assrt itslf at any momnt, bringing th furnitur crashing down upon on s had! Th books wr within arm s rach, so this rportr slctd on. It loosd itslf asily and fll obligingly into th hand, without sming to b damagd from a suspnsion of Th Laws of Physics as w undrstand thm. My fathr was Prospro th Enchantr. Miss Bown bgan without prambl. Th nam Prospro th Enchantr still licitd gasps from awaiting crowds. This rportr sat (rathr, kns gav way) as a small modl carousl sitting on th sidboard suddnly flard to lif. Th modl was mad according to Th Night Circus s thm of black and whit, th animals guiding around th circl by black ribbons. But such animals! This rportr bhld griffins, wyvrns, unicorns and harpis. But somthing was amiss, bcaus th animals did not sm anchord to on spot aboard th carousl: thy jostld on anothr, waving in and out around thir comptitors. This rportr gav a start whn a gryphon turnd its had and winkd! That is somthing I am working on, Miss Bown xplaind, whn sh saw my attntion was distractd. Whn it is complt it will b much largr of cours, and it will not simply go round and round. This rportr was dumbfoundd that Miss Bown could dsign, and much mor, xcut such a wondr! Miss Bown smd curiously unfttrd as this rportr gazd at hr in wondr; sh smd agr to unburdn hrslf, although why sh should do so to a rportr was curious. My fathr traind m sinc I was six yars old to tak part in an unrivalld challng th liks of which this world has nvr known. Thn Miss Bown wov a tal that was so unblivabl and yt uttrly bguiling this rportr wondrd if prhaps Miss Bown had takn lav of hr snss somwhr on th boat rid btwn Grmany and England. Apparntly, sprinkld amongst th magicians and charlatans who frqunt th intrnational stags as magic-wildrs ar only tolratd du to th fact that th ral practitionrs of th Craft concal thmslvs so natly amongst thm. Among ths tru Magicians, thr ar two rivals, both old, both uncompromising. On was onc studnt to th othr; thir rlationship was fractious and fatal to bystandrs. Th Studnt proposd a gam: somthing to ntrtain thm in this boring world of charlatans. Prim among thir quarrls was th only propr way to train a studnt. How to hon a living cratur into a vssl of pur magic, as vicious and mrcilss as a particl blad. Th Tachr had always traind studnts by totally isolating thm aboard an air ship that tourd th glob, coupld with limitlss accss to arcan toms of powr. A consistnt, tirlss study tmprd and mpowrd a crtain typ of mind. Th Studnt, who had long ago bgun to b a tachr, claimd natural aptitud coupld with constant, brutal physical training turnd instinct into unparallld powr. Ultimatly, this was what turnd th gam into a mattr of shr survival. Th two rivals chos thir studnts. Th chss pics as you would, and th Tachr was givn th honour of th first mov. No dirct intrfrnc was th only rul. Th gam was limitlss and was hld to no particular schdul. A ruling would b mad; and only on studnt would surviv. My fathr was th Studnt to th Mastr; and I his studnt, bfor h passd. Miss Bown cradld hr tacup in hr hands. I m so sorry for your loss. Oh, h s not lost. A not of ir crpt into hr voic. H did not di, as th nwspaprs rportd. On of his tricks did not go ntirly as plannd. H visits m occasionally, most oftn to brat m for my prformanc hr. You don t man in Th Circus, do you? Sh shook hr had bmusdly. You ar on of th chss pics!!?? Ys. Th Circus is th forum for our contst. With ach nw act th stak is st highr. Dar radrs, this rportr was appalld! Hr story was somthing out of myth, a malicious, conniving gam btwn Gods! Surly it had no plac in a modrn world of scinc! Do you hav any ida who your opponnt is? Miss Bown shook hr had. That s just rubbish! How can such a gam b scord? How can a circus srv as an arna for such an vnt? Miss Bown st hr tacup down thoughtfully. Prhaps I should show you. Sh ld th way down th darknd pathways whr circus vndors sold rfrshmnts and odditis. Th tnt sh ntrd was ntitld Ic Gardn. Radrs, this rportr was unprpard for what cam nxt. Stpping into th gardn, thr wr no visibl walls; th stripd tnt had vanishd. Evrything, from th glimmring blads of grass, to th dlicatly vind lavs on th trmbling trs, to th ross carfully tndd along th gardn paths, was cratd ntirly out of ic! Th air was somthing out of a dram from childhood: crisp and sharp and holding th promis of sldding and snow ball fights. Snow flaks gntly twistd in th air. This rportr slctd a ros blossom from a narby bush, prfctly sculptd as if from glass, and pluckd it from its stm. Th blossom shattrd, th ic crystals falling down into th ivory blads of grass blow. A nw blossom had alrady takn its plac on th stm. This was my opponnt s most rcnt mov. It is a Mastrpic. Miss Bown lookd nrapturd, hr chks flushd pink at this gnius. I cannot imagin th powr and skill it would tak to construct, much lss maintain, such a wondr. Rmmbring th invitabl outcom of this littl gam, this rportr inquird, Can you countr such a mov? Sh sighd, a walth of motions in that singl xhalation. Hr brath plumd bfor hr, th ic crystals catching th light. Ys, I can. Ultimatly, this is a tst of nduranc, not of skill. If you had vr mt my fathr, you would undrstand. Raching ovr, sh twistd hr wrist right around, so that hr bionic hand poppd out of its sockt. On of my first lssons from th famd Enchantr was whn h stabbd my hand right through into th tabl blow. I couldn t rpair th injury, so h had my hand loppd off and rplacd. Many of my joints ar not my own, aftr a liftim of his training. H dspisd waknss. This rportr flt slightly nausatd at this mattr-of-fact xplanation. This rportr considrd hr commnt that th gam was all about nduranc, and not a tst of skill. But you said this was a Mastrpic? Oh, it is. My opponnt is not of my fathr s mind. Do you know who it is? A fllow prformr prhaps? For th first tim, Miss Bown appard doubtful. I don t bliv so. Somon connctd with Th Circus, but not hr. I would sns him if h was hr. Him? Oh, w ar slowly coming to know on anothr. So much of our souls go into ths nchantmnts, it would b impossibl not to sns a littl of th crator s prsonality. What bgan as a simpl showcas has bcom mor. Each manouvr is mor startlingly bautiful, and with ach mov w both bring ourslvs a littl closr to rvaling our idntitis. I bliv on day soon w will mt; this can t continu forvr. But what will bcom of Th Night Circus onc th Gam is ndd? Miss Bown had no answr. Th contnt of this dition s faturd storis is basd on th book Th Night Circus by Erin Morgnstrn. Crtain dtails hav bn altrd to avoid copyright infringmnt. Th contnt of Th Night Circus, up to and including dirct quots, blongs xclusivly to th author, and th abov storis hav bn co-optd as an homag to a truly magical and ngaging book, #1 National Bst Sllr, which th ditor Lsli Orton rcommnds to all Stampunk radrs!

3 Th Athr Rviw Of Books C haptr 2 Lady Evlyn, a tall, slndr woman with rich, dark hair, hurrid down th grand hallway of Wathrby Manor. Hr long, blu drss flw bhind hr lik a sparrow s tail as sh ran. As hr butlr opnd th normous door, in stppd Dudly Fox a handsom chap, tallish, with natly combd chstnut hair, thick-lnsd spctacls, and a wllgroomd moustach. His drss was simpl; a brown suit and smart blu ascot. H carrid a simpl lion s-had can, and a collction of brilliantly colord flowrs. Dudly bowd low bfor handing his lov bouqut. Bautiful flowrs for an vn mor bautiful woman, h rmarkd, How ar you this morning, my dar? Evi took th flowrs and brathd dply, trying to ignor th dirty stms from whr th bouqut had bn torn from hr gardn. Divin, darling, Sh glancd about surrptitiously for a plac to drop th flowrs, but no such plac prsnting itslf, sh smild sickly at him. H proffrd an arm, sh took it, and thy walkd down th corridor togthr. I undrstand you r working on somthing for Gnral Gallant. Som nw wapon? Evi askd, hr dark ys wid with intrst. I find your work so fascinating! Dudly harrumphd in th most gntl way h could and straightnd his spctacls. Indd? H dosn t find it so. That nw vhicl in th papr? Th War Machin? That s yours? Lady Wathrby gaspd, a tiny, squaky sound that nvr faild to appal to Dudly. Oh, ys. H told m what h wantd it to do, and I mad it for him. And do you know what h s paying m for it? Two hundrd draks. And bfor you tll m what a whopping amount that is, it s only doubl my normal commission; h promisd m twlv hundrd. Still, it s nough to kp m in ta for a whil. Spaking of ta, I had Charls brw us a pot. Hav a sat! Thy had com to a plasant ta tabl at th nd of th main hall of Wathrby Manor. Two wickr chairs, a tiny glass tabl, and a tray with a singl porclain pot and two dainty cups and saucrs. Th ta had alrady rachd Dudly s nos, and th moustach, which h had grown to filtr out strong smlls, did nothing to stop it. Th sumptuous scnt was blndd with a hint of Ppprmint? Ys. Evi handd th bouqut, dirty stms and all, to hr butlr Charls. Th agd, balding fllow took thm rvrntly and carrid thm off with th car of a nwborn all th way to th dustbin. Thy satd thmslvs, and whil Evi pourd Dudly a cup of th ppprmint ta, hr pois was only barly disturbd by th suddn A Gntlman s War, By Ashr Davian chim of th doorbll. Charls scuttld about th cornr in only th way an agd butlr can, and Evlyn pardond hrslf. Somon s at th door; it would b rud of m not to s who it is. Prfctly fin, Dudly rplid as h dancd in his sat, frantically trying to dry th scalding ta from his trousrs. I ll wait hr, shall I? Madam Wathrby, a Gnral Gallant to s you, Charls ylpd from th far nd of th hall. Evi s hart skippd a bat. Th Gnral and Dudly on th sam day? That wasn t right. Iggy was supposd to com on Thursday! Dudly s stomach fluttrd. Th Gnral was sing Evi? Thr was no nding this pacfully, not with th Iron Dragon. Th Gnral s ys bulgd. Th upstart nginr was at th far nd of th hallway, at th ta tabl, with a ta cup in hand, sitting in his chair. Th impudnc of th fllow! Rsplndnt in his crimson uniform, glaming with gold mdals, both paultts quivring in his rag, th war hro strod indignantly down th hall in such ir that not vn th boldst Nosiran soldir would hav crossd his path. His walnut hair, strakd hr and thr with whit, frizzd in irritation, and his thick, waxd moustach trmbld with rag. A singl glovd fingr xtndd at Dudly Fox, h uttrd th only words that would com out. W-w-what s HE doing hr, Evlyn?! Dudly stood, placing his cup and saucr back on th tabl. H was barly abl to contain th trmbl in his voic. I v bn sing hr on Tusdays, Gnral. Crtainly that s still lgal. Not whn I m sing hr on Thursdays!! Evi, what s th maning of this?! Th poor lady s fac had gon quit pal, and both th Gnral and nginr wr afraid sh d faint. Whn sh vntually spok, hr words cam in half-sobs. You look so alik I thought you wr th sam man! I was crtain that th on was disguising himslf to look lik anothr Can you blam m? I couldn t bar to brak th on s hart, for far th othr would dsrt m as wll! Gnral Gallant puffd up lik a poutr pigon. I don t look anything lik this imprtinnt pup! Dudly glancd at th soldir. My nos may vntually b that big, but that s all I can s. Th Gnral whirld on Dudly. WHAT did you say?! H marchd up to th nginr, looking him in th y as h spat his words in th poor man s fac. I was fighting th Nosirans with my own hands whil you wr still a schoolboy! Th mk invntor had bn pushd far nough. H d suffr no furthr humiliation at th hands of this ta-sipping profssional papr-pushr. Prhaps, thn, it s tim you rtird, old man! Evi collaps d into hr chair. No, Ignatius, Dudly, stop fighting! I ll try to choos Hr protsts unhard, th battl continud. Dudly took firm hold of th Gnral s nos and twistd as hard as h could. That s what I think of your fool War Machin. I ll dismantl it this aftrnoon and put th parts to bttr us. Th Ladinghall Primary School had bn rqusting I xpand thir latrins. Ignatius blustrd violntly bfor roaring. I m twic th man you ll vr b, Fox! Ay, and it s all in your nos!! Having nothing furthr to say to th ruffian, Gallant rmovd his glovs and brought thm hard against Dudly s fac. Mr. Fox lookd about shpishly, having no glovs. H glancd at Evi s momntarily bfor sizing th Gnral s and rturning his challng. Evi scramd, and swoond, draping hr slndr, bautiful form ovr th wickr chair as both hr suitors ignord hr. I m fairly confidnt, Fox, th Gnral smirkd, That I can conqur you anywhr, at any tim, with any wapon. Unlss you d lik to think this dcision ovr, you can nam th plac, tim and mdium. Not ncssary, sir. Outsid thos doors, Dudly bgan, pointing ptulantly at th grand doors of Wathrby Manor, Right now. Pistols. Agrd? Th Gnral land in a littl furthr, so that thir noss wr almost touching. Agrd Evi awok with a start. Charls gravity-strtchd faturs hung ovr hr as h fannd hr with hr own hand fan. Snatching it from his hand, sh lapt to hr ft. Whr ar thy? Milady, prhaps you should li down. You v had a nasty shock Whr ar thy, Charls? Th front walk. Thy v armd thmslvs with your fathr s dulling pistols and thy ll hav at it just about now, actually, h said, glancing at his pockt watch. How dar you b so calm and collctd about it?! Pardon my saying so, madam, but trying to balanc two courtships isn t th bst way to handl on s romantic lif. This way, th problm solvs itslf without your having to choos a man. Charls didn t bothr finishing his sntnc; h was alon in th room. Hr skirt hld highr than prhaps was modst, Evi flw through th halls of hr manor. Sh dashd out onto th balcony ovrlooking th front walk in tim to s th combatants rais thir pistols, glaming crully in th midday sun, and with th dafning rport of fild cannons, fir.

4 T R r h t v i A w h Of Books A Gntlman s War, By Ashr Davian D ar radrs, Ashr Davian dlights us with th scond chaptr of his satir ntitld A Gntlman s War. Th first Chaptr lft us poisd with th undrstanding that both Dudly Fox and Gnral Gallant wr courting th mystrious Lady Evlyn Wathrby. Th stting: th conflict btwn th Monarchy of Albion and th Popl s Rpublic of Nosira ovr how much jam, in ouncs, should b srvd at ta srvs as a catalyst to Th Bastly War btwn ths two nations. Th prmis: Both nations thn dcid to utiliz hot bvrags to ful thir wapons of mass dstruction. This ld to th grat Ta Shortag, and coff bing socially rlgatd as bvrag for th poor. Th Charactrs: Dudly Fox, a lowr class mchanic who has built th latst war machin, who has bn rlgatd to drinking coff du to th Ta Shortag. Gnral Gallant: a high-ranking military officr who commissiond th war machin that Dudly Fox built, and is a proponnt of ta bing rlgatd to th uppr classs. Th third: Lady Evlyn Wathrby, a walthy woman of th uppr class who is privilgd nough to afford to drink ta. Until this latst instalmnt, all thr charactrs know (or knw of) on anothr. Howvr, th first climax to this littl satir is th chanc ncountr of ths thr dissimilar individuals, who happn to cross paths on Lady Evlyn s doorstp. Th scn is st for bloodshd, as Dudly Fox ralizs his mployr is also trying to court th high ranking Lady Evlyn. Gnral Gallant ralizs his dirct comptition for marriag to a walthy uppr class woman is a mr mchanic in his own mploy. Lady Evlyn ralizs th gam is up, and hr attmpt to juggl two suitors at th sam tim is about to nd in fatalitis. Th author trats this situation of socalld Courtly lov with drision. This is obviously a situation rampant with social climbrs: Dudly Fox sks to marry a woman mils abov his station. Gnral Gallant sks to win himslf a marvllous trophy wif, who will produc offspring of a high social standing. And Lady Evlyn is obviously utilizing th war as an xcus to furthr hr own agnda. Two mn in prim positions in th war ar courting hr at th sam tim. A war is oftn th making of a man, particularly a gnus mchanic who singl-handdly built th latst war machin, or a Gnral in a brav position of command. Both prospcts ar promising, so sh dcids to s thm both, until an unfortunat ncountr which causd thm to larn of on anothr. Hr xcus for sing thm both is frankly hystrical: You look so alik I thought you wr th sam man! I was crtain that th on was disguising himslf to look lik anothr Can you blam m? I couldn t bar to brak th on s hart, for far th othr would dsrt m as wll! Th notion that ithr man could possibly b mistakn for th othr (dspit th dcads btwn thm) is offnsiv to both suitors. Thus, in attmpting to mak th situation bttr, Lady Evlyn actually maks it wors. Th Gnral challngs Dudly Fox to a dul, which Dudly radily accpts. Th location: Lady Evlyn s doorstp. Th Lady faints at th prospct. Sh awakns to find hr butlr standing ovr hr, fanning hr with his hand. Thr is a dlightful bit of class warfar taking plac hr, as th butlr informs his Mistrss, quit candidly, that trying to balanc two courtships isn t th bst way to handl on s romantic lif. This way, th problm solvs itslf without your having to choos a man. In this brif statmnt th butlr provs himslf to b th most candid, th most practical, and, ultimatly, th most callous of all of ths foolish playrs, as his words happn to coincid with shots ringing out. Wll radrs, I m on th dg of my sat, and whichvr of th two suitors happns to surviv can comfort himslf with this thought: it was all do for a bttr sat at tabl, and a cup of ta! Should you wish to snd a Lttr to th Editor, submit your writtn work, or offr a tip rgarding a potntial story (g. political uphaval, crim, spcial vnts, art and music) plas contact Lsli Orton at: ortonlj@hotmail.com. Nw Author Ashr Davian

5 Travl Grc, By Amlia Own Kibby A thnian jails ar not plasant. Just ask Socrats. Com to think of it, Socrats is partly to blam for min and Alic s currnt scnario. Our xcursion to th Grk pninsula startd off in fin fashion. Alic and I joind a tour of th Eastrn Orthodox monastris at Mtora on Day 1. Prchd high upon th cliffs, thy ar not th asist things to rach. Hav no far- th barrag balloons of Rhods ar at your srvic and for a small f will transport a quartt at a tim of intrstd sit srs across th watr to th holy plac. Th surrounding cliffs that ris from th ground blow in chaotic form ar covrd in vrdant grn at this tim of yar and th morning fog lnds a mystical aura to what is alrady a spiritual havn as you travrs its rocky outlt. Dscnding into its nvirons took my brath away. Th landing is st on a wid, flat ston surfac across from th monastry, which can only b accssd via a stp staircas cut into th rock wall itslf. It winds around th cliff fac in dramatic form, a frightning viw for thos afraid of hights. You nxt xit into th main courtyard and ar grtd by svral of th monks who rsid thr. Th outr grounds ar xtnsiv, wll kpt, and pacful. Thr ar gardns in th main courtyard and th bariton voics of thos singing th Lord s praiss in unison can b hard throughout. Th monks bgin thir day in contmplativ prayr, but whn that is don thy quit lav off thir solitary and silnt xistnc in favor of bnficnt and ntrprising work. For Mtora is th sat of th rligious publishing industry for all of Grc, and Alic and I wr thrilld to witnss th procss bhind which thy ar abl to crat thir artistic mastrpics. Dp within th bowls of th monastry of St. Alphonsus lays half a dozn work chambrs. On room is filld with mn dipping quill into inkwll and scribbling away thir most prcious thoughts. Thy ar th imagination and th driving forc bhind th industry, also th illustrators of th novl. Th only sound that can b hard thr is th furtiv scratching atop thin parchmnt. Thy tll th storis of th Orthodox gospl and wav color into thir dscriptivs with hand craftd dtail throughout. Down a ston hallway (my apologis but hav I faild to mntion that ths buildings wr originally rctd in th fiftnth cntury?) is th transcription room. Thr is much ylling and arguing ovr what will actually b printd hr. I trid to grasp th hirarchy in thir group but with my limitd command of th Grk languag I was hard prssd and our monastic guid was closd mouth rgarding that particular nd of things. Th most xciting part of th tour was th printing chambr. I hav nvr sn such quipmnt up clos. What a spctacl! Thr wr six of thm and th basts took up a wid acrag. Th massiv clattring lavs an cho in th ars not asily discardd. Thy ar massiv mtallic monstrs with gars flying, lttrs lind upsid down, right to lft ordr, and th smll of octopus ink is so prvasiv it is nough to mak on dizzy. It stains th papr a dp violt, with curlicu flourishs and bold lttrs mant to inspir th dvout. Th words convy maning; th dsigns add mphasis- a rgular xclamation point, if you will. Spnding th morning at Mtora lft Alic with a dsir to rconnct with th faith holding sid of hrslf and so whn w arrivd at th island of Santorini a fw days latr w spnt a fair bit of tim hiking about and visiting th diminutiv blu toppd churchs, lighting candls, and spaking with prists. I am not an ovrly rligious prson myslf, but I did grow up Roman Catholic with my mothr, so it was a kind calling to rvisit thos forms and brath in th incns onc again. W spnt fiv days on th island, sit sing and sunbathing. That, and ating mass quantitis of frid squid. Thr was a grat hullabaloo ovr a discovry mad in th watrs of th Mditrranan whil w wr thr that mad hadlins across th country- no doubt around th Continnt, I imagin. Thr xists th lgnd of an ancint and storid civilization whos land now rsts dp undr th watrs, cast asid in tim by Mothr Natur s catastrophic tmpr. It is th Lost Ralm of Atlantis! Marin archaologists rsarching th ara hav stumbld upon a hrtofor hiddn cav ntranc at th sa floor that thy bliv is a portal to its nvirons. Alic and I trid vry avnu w could think of to insinuat ourslvs into th projct. Alic calld vry last profssor and scintist from our univrsity days, pstrd th Cambridg archaology dpartmnt for days, to no avail. I vn wnt down to th shors, clad in my trousrs, man s shirt, and lathr blt wrappd tightly around my waist, rady to work, hoping that onsit thy might just b thankful for th xtra hand. Unfortunatly, this advntur my compatriot and I must rad about from th sidlins. I will b watching th post gaztt for updats. What was mant to b th tail nd of our Grcian xcursion saw us arriving back to Athns for a discussion on th fat of th Elgin marbl status which was ld by Profssor Emritus Pappas Dranopoulos at th Univrsity hall. Thr is hatd dbat ovr whthr or not th British Musum ought to rtain ownrship of th pics takn from th Parthnon arlir this cntury. Lord Elgin took possssion of th marbl status and rmnants with Ottoman prmission but it has bn dcads sinc th Grks won thir indpndnc and it is flt by many that it is tim to rclaim this bit of history for thir own. Hundrds wr in attndanc for th impassiond oratory, which coincidd prfctly with our itinrary: th Parthnon was nxt on our list. Alic and I donnd our sturdy boots, grabbd two bumbrshoots to block out th aftrnoon sun, and said hllo to th famd monumnt around two o clock. This is whr th troubl bgan. W ran into a mting of th Socity of Modrn Socratic Intlligntsia. Thy wr campd out in th intrior, taking up spac as if thy ownd th plac. Thr wr narly a dozn of thm, all mn, young, and full of idalism and scorn for thos living matrialistic livs. Though w cluckd our tongus at thir rough apparanc and qually unrfind bantr, Alic and I sought to join th convrsion, always agr to xamin anothr s viwpoint. Du our gndr, w wr prohibitd. W wr laughd at, in fact, for our intrst in thir idas. This did not sit wll with ithr Alic or myslf. Rathr than giv vrbal protst byond th initial inquisition of WHY NOT? w hotfootd it back to th hotl to rmdy th issu. If you cannot chang a prson s mind through rason, a littl duplicity is somtims in ordr to prov a point. Alic and I wnt back to th Parthnon an hour latr incognito as Mrl and Josph, studnts of philosophy from England, and wr willingly accptd into th trib s circl of convrsation. Thir informal tratis on frdom from a lif tthrd to on s possssions was complling and had mrit. W sparrd back and forth with th ruffians for th bttr part of two hours, our offnsiv gndr undtctd. Just as w wr about to lift away th vil of mystry, th authoritis showd up. Apparntly th group had bn making a nuisanc of thmslvs all wk and whn thy faild to ingratiat thmslvs to th polic ovr th issu vryon prsnt was arrstd on th spot. Alic and I hav spnt th last twlv hours in custody with th rst of th Socratic Intlligntsia (ssntially, ovrnight). Th smll is awful. Th mannrs of our cllmats ar rprhnsibl. W dar not rval our tru idntitis, for far of scalating th problm. Thy can t kp us forvr, for w hav only committd th transgrssion of bing annoying. I hav pnnd my articl, sald it, and snt it out via a sympathtic guardsman. I promis to bring you mor soon.th good, th bad, and th ugly right?