From the Desk of the President

Transcription

1 Summer 2010 GMOT Newsletter Week 1 From the Desk of the President Jessica Jersey Pyle 2 Wasted Talent vs. Balls on Top 8 0 Ballaholics vs. Incrediballs 6 2 Memphis Mafia vs. 99 Problems 6 4 Kick Start My Heart vs. Swampstains 2 6 Kick in the Grass vs. Living the Dream 1 0 Kick in the Balls vs. WAKAffs 16 1 Red Blue Blur vs. Chocolate Salty Balls 2 10 Donkey Ballers* vs. Shake & Bake* 10 *Tie for friendship??? : ) Hello Kickballers! For those that don t know me, I am Jersey. Your fearless leader and kickball extraordinaire (er...maybe I mean flip cup extraordinaire). ***FUN FACTS ABOUT JERSEY*** (the person, not the state) Yep, name is actually Jessica but everyone calls me Jersey cause I am from Jersey. I have worn my hair in a poof and love the Jersey Shore. LIKES long walks on the beach, bunk beds, Gran Torino, Miller High Life, making out, friendship. DISLIKES gangs, fighting, the stuff (see page 2), people who steal beer, my 10 minute crush on Decker. I have been a part of WAKA for 4 seasons now and it still feels like Christmas Eve the night before an opening game. I definitely do not know all the answers, but am always willing to look for them. I love feedback whether it be positive or negative and will always try to make everyone* happy. *With the exception of Josh Lee and/or Michael Henn

2 LA Crescent is where it s AT!!!!! You might not know it yet but you are all contributing to very special league. I have friends who play WAKA all over the country and they definitely agree that we have the most fun. If you don t believe me, just read the points below which outline a night I went to meet my friend Dana, a.k.a. the Dane Train, to talk about Jersey kickball. 1) I met her at a bar we frequent called Tashmoo. Yes, all the bars are named after animals. We either go to the Moo, the Frog, the Hopper (as in grasshopper), the Horse, or the Monkey. Strike #1. 2) Said bar (the Moo) charges $5.75 for domestics. Buy 3 beers here and I never want to hear you complain about paying $2.50 again. Strike #2. 3) She tells me she has joined WAKA because she sees all the fun I am having on Facebook (creeper?). She also tells me that she met my super hot friend from high school Jimmy Gervasio through kickball who is now our mutual friend on Facebook (creeper?). She then tells me that their relationship will never work cause they have opposite kickball schedules. 1) Wait, WHAT NOW?!?! Yeah, I hope you are sitting down LA Crescent. Up there, they only have one field for ten teams which means games start at 6 PM and they don t end until 10 PM. This also means they never interact at the bar nor play flip cup cause the late games go to the bar early and the early games go to the bar late. Strike #3. 4) All the bars close at 1:30 AM, no questions asked. Strike #4. 5) Last but not least, there is only one road to get to/from the bar and field. So who do you think is chillin on this road at 1:30 AM when the bar shuts down? COPS. So if you had those three beers you wanted so bad in point #2, you are F d. Oh, and if for some reason you get past these cops, you have to worry about the deer. It s always MFN mating season and take it from experience, running into a deer with your car hurts more than waking up and realizing you let Michael Hot Mess Henn take care of you last night cause he was the sober one. Eek! Strike #5. Anyway, without further ado, I welcome you to the LA Crescent League. A league I am proud to say is probably one of the best in the nation. And don t forget, we have some internet porn...oops, I meant internet credentials...to prove it!

3 Exciting new stuff? New flip cup rules & regulations! See the flip cup section! New charity incentives! See the charity section! Games are currently at 6:15 and 7 PM! YAY! Last couple games might move up 15 minutes depending on sunlight. Yes, I was shocked as well to learn that the WAKA President does not control the weather. Making out is still allowed at the bar! In addition to the 3 strikes you are out rule for field holding/umping, we are working on a fun raffle prize for a team that doesn t have any strikes throughout the season! More to come on this in the future. I know you know this but I have to say it again stuff? Keg beer is for official flip cup only. It will first go to team flip cup, then KOTH, and then it is free reign. Depending on what five flippers Da Ballholics send to the table usually determines how long the beer lasts, if at all. Short version, don t touch the beer until after KOTH is over! Please don t argue unless you are a captain or co captain. Do not start your game without 4 guys/4 girls cause it won t count. PLEASE clean up the field! We are merely 350 patrons enjoying Audubon and they can certainly ask us to leave if we do not leave it the way it came. Don t drink and drive especially not to Kenner. You can always sleep at Decker s. Please don t bring in beer to the bar. It s cool if you are finishing up one from the field but don t go sneaking in Sammy P size cans in your pockets. Don t fight! It only takes one punch thrown to kick you out of the league (with no refunds!). THANK YOU! Thank you to all the teams that came out to play on Monday. I know it was rough being the day after a holiday but it looked like we still had great attendance from all the teams at the field and the bar. By having the first game on July 5 th this means we don t have to have playoffs on Labor Day. YAY! Alright, that is it for now. I am trying to keep it short due to my outburst of s last week. Read on though and meet my fabulous board. Not only do they keep me sane, but they each play a very important part in your next 8 weeks. Jersey Gran Torino is quite possibly the best movie ever Pyle Fine, this will get you the W this week, but there better be more where this came from.

4 KEEP DIZ STUFF OUTCHA MOUTH! WE ARE ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE SO PAY ATTENTION. THIS (PITCHES AIN T) S^&T IS NOT ALLOWED AT THE FIELD EVER. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND ARE WATCHING YOU. WE ARE TRAINED LIKE BLOODHOUNDS AND IF WE EVEN THINK WE SMELL THE STUFF IN YOUR VICINITY, YOU ARE OUT, RIGHT THEN AND THERE NO QUESTIONS ASKED. AND WE ARE GOING TO KEEP KICKING YOU OUT UNTIL YOU EITHER STOP BRINGING THE STUFF OR STOP COMING TO KICKBALL. IT S YOUR CALL. - PYLE & GO BEAR *JERSEY FOR FRIENDSHIP,NOT THE STUFF!!! Subliminal Message Section - (kick) Start on time! Pick up your trash! Donate to Charity and MO with Blaine!

5 Volunteer Shifts are still available for Tales of the Cocktail! See below for the shifts that you can sign up for and click the link at the bottom to check out the perks of volunteering (meaning free drinks and shit) and sign-up for your times! Wednesday 1:00-5:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (2 vols) 4:00-8:00 at the Fresh Market in the Queen Anne Ballroom (2 vols) Thursday 9:00-1:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (1 vol) 1:00-5:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (8 vols) Friday 9:00-1:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (2 vols) 10:00-2:00 at the Hotel Monteleone and Royal Sonesta (1 vol) 1:00-5:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (6 vols) 2:00-6:00 at the Hotel Monteleone and Royal Sonesta (3 vols) 7:30-10:30 at the USBG Competition (1 vol) Saturday 9:00-1:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (1 vol) 1:00-5:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (1 vol) 5:30-9:30 at the Worldwide Cocktail Exchange (3 vols) Sunday 9:30-2:30 at the Hotel Monteleone (3 vols) Click Here for the Tales of the Cocktail 2010 Volunteer Application Also, don t forget the Bacardi in the Mix promotion is still going on! Kick in the Grass will have Mojitos and Handshaken Daiquiris on the fields from 6-8 next week! See the code and website below to book on! Bacardi in the Mix Code - Mix

6 The Vice President s Corner Chris Big Daddy Cain A message from your Vice President in charge of who knows what What s up kickballers!?! I am Chris CAINiac Cain and I am your Vice President. I m the big guy with the shaved head on Beastie Balls, the light blue team. I take my kickball seriously and my cup flipping even more seriously. So if I get little spirited in the heat of competition, just ignore me. This is my second season as VP, but I m still a little fuzzy on the details of what my position entails. I do all those little things like ordering bullhorns for Flip Cup and buying the umpire clickers. Yes, I know, a very glamorous job! I do know this... I GOT JERSEY S BACK! So if you got a problem with her you got a problem with me! I m all about just having a good time though, so let s try to keep problems to a minimum. I m looking forward to drinking and kicking it (literally) with ya'll this season. Remember donate to charity! Have FUN! Make friends and make out! It should be a good one! I will now leave you with one of my favorite quotes, edited in kickball fashion: The path of the righteous kickballer is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil kickballers. Blessed is the kickballer who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his fellow kickballer's keeper and the finder of lost kickballers. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my fellow kickballers. And you will know my name is CAIN when I lay my vengeance upon thee. ( Ezekiel 25:17 slightly modified) P.S. How ya like that pic? It s my Mean Face

7 Flip Cup and You Dear Flip Cup Nation, Well we have started another season of the game of champions, and week one was not a disappointment. We had some big wins, and some surprising losses. Thanks to everyone who helped ref, but that being said, if anyone is interested in being a Queen Of the Hill ref (Yea, I called it QOTH, I'll get to that later), then please let one of us know, or tell the El Presidente. We are excited about the new season and know it s going to be great, now let s get to it. New Team Flip Cup Rules 1. If you drink your beer before your teammate has completely finished flipping their cup, then there will be a 5 second penalty on that team for the next round. So both teams should continue playing the round because the round will not be stopped, and even if the offending team losses, they will still have the penalty next round. If it is the last round and the non offending team losses, then the round will be replayed with the penalty. Example: Emily and Sean are on a team together in that order, Emily flips but for the first time in 2 years she doesn't make it on her first flip, Sean goes ahead and starts drinking his beer because he wasn't paying attention (and the fact that he has a penchant for going early), while Emily is reloading. Their team would then receive a 5 second penalty the next round. 2. If you make any contact with your cup after the initial flip has been made, then you must reflip your cup. Even if there was a 100 percent chance of the cup settling, if you make any contact with it, then it must be re flipped. 3. If your cup falls off the table, then you must retrieve it from the ground, you are not allowed to pick a new cup off the table. This goes for QOTH as well.

8 Team Flip Cup Week One First we would like to say Congratulations to Da Ballaholics on winning the team flip cup championship for the LA Crescent Spring 2010 Season. Not only did you win, you went 12 0 for the year, HELLS YEA!!! You are truly a real American Hero!!! This week Living the Dream, Shake & Bake, and Wakaffs all started the season strong with the big shutout. Good way to start, let s see how long you can keep it up. Swampstains, Beastie Balls, 99 Problems, BOT, and Chocolate Salty Balls all had wins. We will give you a break this week for getting scored on, we know you are all little rusty, and that 4th was rough. But let s see if you can step it up next week and play like champions. Everyone else lost (you know who you are). This includes Da Ballaholics which breaks a 12 game winning streak. So all of you get to the tables and do some practice, right now you still have a chance to be 7 1 at the end of the season, instead of 0 8 (I'm talking to you Red Blue Blur). QOTH Week One First and foremost we would like to congratulate Emily "The Machine" Heath for winning the Year End Championship last season. Because of her accomplishment, King of the Hill has been changed to Queen of the Hill, because she is the champion. So when you see her, don't feel obligated to bow, but it s probably a good idea. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present your Queen, followed by your week one qualifiers. LA Crescent Spring Season 2010 QOTH Champion Emily "The Queen" Heath

9 Congratulations Jason on winning week one, It was a hard top ten and you still made it out with the big win, even despite the height disadvantage you had in the last round. All four of you have qualified for the end of the year championship, and in case you are not counting at home, that is two spots for Da Ballaholics, very well done guys! (It would have been three, but Jersey got fifth because she was too busy eying down who she was going to make out with later). Also if you are wondering why the Queen wasn't up here, it s because she didn't play, she wanted to give her subjects a chance to play without the fear of being destroyed. QOTH Week One Champion Jason "No Pickles" Feder Second Place Fernando "No Pickles" Rodriguez

10 Third Place Sam "Not Shopped" Provenza Forth Place Jen "I like them Crispy" Rhodes Flipping 4 Life, Sam " Really, that is an unaltered picture" Provenza Beau " If I was horticulturist, I would engineer a plant that grew shots, instead of fruit" Armagnac Krystal " It s my birthday Monday, so buy me shots, and get me a stripper. Ok, make that two strippers." Hale

11 Don t Ump My Game, Ump Yours! Head Ump (a.k.a. The Bad Guy): Andrew "do you know what T-H-R-E-E-P-E-A-T means" Crosby Welcome back to another season of Monday night! With 90% (more or less) of the league being returning players, I will keep this brief! 1) Please, please, please read the rules! The majority of arguments and debates could be settled by reading the rules: 2) Runners, always use the outside base (aka: the extra base) at first base when running to first. The only exception being when you absolutely know you are turning and going to second. If you touch the inside bag, and do not turn to go to second, you will be called out. I know it's harsh, I know it's about has fruity as Sean, but it's the rule. And the intention of the rule is safety!!! 3) Call Sean naughty girl this year. He told me in a secret meeting that this really makes him feel good about himself. He has been struggling with self confidence issues as of late and if everyone called him naughty girl as much as possible, then he thinks he can overcome his issues! 4) Have fun, be safe, and feel free to approach me with any questions, issues, or ideas!

12 Charitable Causes Kayla Charity Girl Stitcher Hey kickballers and charity givers. The charity this season is Krewe de Camp (website). This is a camp for children with cerebral palsy. They are a worthy organization in need of our money, so please check out their website. We have some exciting things happening this season. For all you newbies here is how it works. First we have the race for the keg. Each team tries to raise the most money for charity during the regular season and the team that succeeds, wins a keg to celebrate their victory. The excitement does not stop there. The team who comes in second place wins a pony keg. Woo Hoo!!! The best way to get started is to donate at least a dollar each week to your team. The more you donate the better for the children and the closer you get to the keg. You can bring me the money on the fields or at the bar. I will be in my fancy chair at the games or set up at charity corner at the bar. I provide envelopes for each team and my sweet husband posts the totals each week so you can see where your team stands in the race. Next, we have a new thing going on this season. We are raffling off a $50 Bar Tab at Grits each week. A $1 dollar a ticket could win you the tab for the next week. Somewhere in the newsletter there will be a link to a video of yours truly drawing the ticket and announcing the winner, so read it all. If you are the winner and you get to the bar before Jersey or Sean, start a tab with your card and they will transfer it when they get there. You have to use the tab that night any lef over balance will not be transferred to the next week and you have to close the tab by 10 pm. Ok kiddos, one last thing cause I know you are excited to read the rest of this week s newsletter to see if you won the tab. But, if anyone has anything to donate to the silent auction please let me know asap. The auction will be at the flip cup playoffs just like the last two seasons. Good luck everybody. See you on the fields. Charity Girl, Kayla Race for the Keg Standings Week 1 TEAM Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8 Total Memphis Mafia $50.00 $50.00 Da Ballaholics $20.00 $ Problems $12.00 $12.00 Shake & Bake $11.00 $11.00 WAKAffs $1.00 $1.00 Kick in the Grass $0.00 $0.00 Donkey Ballers $0.00 $0.00 Balls on Top $0.00 $0.00 Beastie Ballers $0.00 $0.00 Chocolate Salty Balls $0.00 $0.00 Kick in the Balls $0.00 $0.00 Kick Start My Heart $0.00 $0.00 Living the Dream $0.00 $0.00 Red Blue Blur $0.00 $0.00 Swampstains $0.00 $0.00 Wasted Talent $0.00 $0.00 Totals: $94.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 Season Total: $94.00

13 Notes from the GMOT Editor Dave Don t Taze me Bro!!! NOLAmite Well here we are, the beginning of a brand new season of Kickball, Flipcup and Good Times. It just seems like last season just ended a few weeks ago, oh yeah I guess that because it did. Anyway, here are a few things for the Rookies and Newbies for this Season. I ll be posting the scores and standings every Tuesday morning on the LA Crescent League homepage. As we did last season, we ve divided the League into two divisions (French Quarter Trashy and Uptown Snobby) the standings for both Kickball and Flipcup will be broken down into Division Standings and Overall Standings. As usual, we will post Weekly GMOT Newsletter with the help of all you fabulous team writers out there, and it will be posted the Friday afternoon following the matches. So please try and have your team submissions into me (in word format, them to me: nolamite@msn.com ) by Thursday Evening. Late Submissions early Friday morning, by 10am at the latest, will be accepted, but let s try not and make a habit of it. Good natured ribbing and trash talk is entertaining and encouraged, but calling out individuals will not be allowed. Let s try and keep it above the belt people. The Moratorium on the use of douche, douche bag, douchy mcghee, douche nozzle, ect. will continue this season, it s meant spirited and uninventive, so leave it out people. Feel free to add pictures and whatever you feel adds to the overall theme of your entry. Hopefully this season we ll finally have a newsletter with 100% team participation. Dare to dream right? But I m not afraid to break out Mr. Frowny Face if you don t submit an entry. The always entertaining Mr. Anon E. Moose and his distant cousin Anon E. Mouse will be returning this season as well, with their always anticipated and entertaining Kickball and Flipcup Power Rankings. Also returning this season. As Kayla mentioned the weekly Winner of Liquid Dinner, (i.e. the Weekly $50 Bar Tab Raffle Winner) will be announced each week in this Newsletter. To encourage you to actually read this Newsletter, I ll be putting that announcement in a different place each week, so just keep reading. Anyway, good luck to everybody this season Well that s about it from me, let s get to the Power Rankings and Team Entries See ya ll on the Fields Dave NOLAmite

14 By Anon E. Moose RK Team REC Comment 1 BBaal lll llss OOnn TToopp BBeeaasstti iiee BBaal lll llss 1-0 A solid season opener for the BOT. But I saw a lot of new faces out on the field. Only time will tell if you are the same team that owns back to back championships. I expect a big season out of you Ballbusters, I mean Incrediballs, wait, %$#&, Beastie Balls. After losing in back to back title games I know you are hungry, and your free agency pick-ups prove it. Time to make another title run. 3 KKi iicckk iinn i tthhee GGrraassss Chocolate Salty Balls KKi iicckk SSttaarrtt Myy HHeeaarrtt SSwwaammppssttaai iinnss SShhaakkee aanndd BBaakkee WAAKKAAffffss PPrroobbl lleemmss DDoonnkkeeyy BBaal lll lleerrss Daa BBaal lll llaahhool lli iccss 0-1 Only one season under your young franchises belts and you already have the respect of the league. And a nice start to the season shows you haven t lost a step. Hmmmmm. 2-1 over the Blur.. I m concerned.. Too be continued. You had a breakout season last year and I was wondering if it was a fluke. Beating the Stains proved it wasn t! Well Done. Hump is back and Sean is gone. When will ya ll be at full force? And when ya ll are.will it be too late? Get your act together now. Ya ll win the most entertaining game of the week award against donkey while sliding around in the mud! That s what kickball is all about. Everybody wins!!!!! Tough to tell if ya ll are really that good, or if KITB is really that bad. Week 2 will give us a quick answer when you face BOT. And now might be your best shot to take them down. They have a lot of new people and only 1 game worth of experience. You have been dreaming of revenge for over 3 months now, and you finally got it! Well done beating the Mafia. 10 runs? Really?!?!?! Where has that been all of 2010? Hopefully it wasn t a fluke. Time will tell. You drew a tough first game. Beastie Balls have been practicing religiously during the office season, while ya ll focused on more important things like getting hammered. They may have outscored ya ll, but ya ll won in my heart.

15 12 Waasstteedd TTaal lleenntt LLi iivvi iinngg tthhee DDrreeaamm RReedd BBl lluuee BBl lluurr Meemmpphhi iiss Maaffi iiaa KKi iicckk IInn TThhee BBaal lll llss 0-1 Tough draw getting BOT in the first game of the season. Time to bounce back against KITB, you should be 1-1 by this time next week. The color change didn t treat ya ll well. Checkers looked so much better in pink. I say ya ll wear pink anyway! Yet again, it looks as though ya ll have a great defense with little offensive support. But still a solid start to the season on losing 2-1 to Chocolate. I thought Bill Buckner disappeared after the terrible game 7 Blunder. Apparently not. Time to get back on track quick! Hmmmmm I ll chalk this up to being week 1. But I can't be nice for long, so please turn things around quickly! By Anon E. Mouse RK (LW) Team REC Comment 1 BBeeaasstti iiee BBaal lll llss Daa BBaal lll llaahhool lli iccss SShhaakkee aanndd BBaakkee 1-0 So the name change this season seamed to work, unlike last season. You took down Da Ballaholics, and got some sweet revenge from last season. But my friend the little birdie told me that they didn't play their top five. But that is their problem and not yours. Your problem is that you didn't get one spot in KOTH this week, what s up with that? So I understand that you are still coming off your championship high, and you are looking to have some fun this season. I can respect that, but a bit of advice, when you are playing the big dogs, you might want to put up a real team. I know you have the talent, the fact that you got two spots in KOTH proves it. Nice win Feder! I'm giving you the third spot because you had a solid win this week, and you would have gone farther in the play offs if it wasn't for an unfortunate foul. But that was last year, and hopefully it will make you want it more this year. Also Starting the year with a KOTH spot doesn't hurt either. It's nice to know you will be in the championship this year Fernando.

16 PPrroobbl lleemmss SSwwaammppssttaai iinnss LLi iivvi iinngg tthhee DDrreeaamm Balls On Top Chocolate Salty Balls WAAKKAAffffss KKi iicckk SSttaarrtt Myy HHeeaarrtt KKi iicckk iinn i tthhee GGrraassss Waasstteedd TTaal lleenntt KKi iicckk IInn TThhee BBaal lll llss DDoonnkkeeyy BBaal lll lleerrss 0-1 You made it to the championship last year, and lost to TEAM AMERICA. You have had a taste of greatness, be it a small one. You would be ranked higher, but letting Mafia score even one point on you shows kinks in the armor. Tighten up and start moving yourself up the rankings. A win over KSMH shows you are taking this season a little more seriously than last season, or maybe you just have some new talent. Whatever it is keep it up and don't make this top five ranking a fluke. You had good win over a team that made it to the top eight. But I think maturity is also a problem for your team last season, lets see how you do this year. Next week you have to play Da Ballaholics, and win over them will keep your momentum up. Well BOT I think you have a good team, you play well, but you crumble when you face a top four team. But you started of the year with a win, and that is something. You re not going to move up the ranks until you beat one of the top teams, or get shutouts in the rest of the games. A win is a win, but to lose two rounds to Red Blue Blur really makes me worry. I mean really, two rounds? Let s see if you can get your act together next week for 99 Problems, because if you play like you did last week, there is no way you will walk away with the W. You had a solid win, and I wanted to rank you higher, but your new and I really don't know anything about you. Which I guess is really both of our faults, but if you keep playing like this, you will find yourself climbing the rankings. Well you lost your first game, but you lost to a good team, and you had a amazing run in the playoffs last year. Your problem Monday is that you just cannot afford to bench Emily, that goes for team flip cup and KOTH. When you have the number one you have to us it. You lost, to what could be a solid team. Because of that and your playoff performance, I'm not going to but you at the bottom, even though your lost was a shutout. Let s just do better next week. Again I wanted Aaron take on the BOT by himself and with full cups, and again I am very disappointed that this did not occur. But don t sweat the 0 and 1 record. And you re still the funnest team out there. You got shutout, but don't sweat it. The WAAKKAAffffss could be a top four team, it is just too early to tell right now. Just focus on next week and try to get a.500 record. Its only week one, and you played a great team. So try and keep your spirits up, and let s see if we can do a little better

17 15 M M m M Meeem mppphhhiiisss M Maaafffiiiaaa 0-1 than last season. But I have a feeling that KSMH will be looking for some revenge next week. So be prepared! Ya ll are an awesome team, and you could be good at flip cup. Ya ll just need some help, I know Sammy P has offered to train you. I would probably take him up on that, and then hopefully you would get out of the bottom of the rankings. *Spot Bought for Charity* 16 R R B B Reeeddd B Bllluuueee B Bllluuurrr 0-1 S S B Shhhaaakkkeee aaannnddd B Baaakkkeee won team flip cup, and got a KOTH spot!!! Good Job, Ya ll are Amazing!!! Keep up the wins and keep up the partying!!! Also it is Krystal's Birthday on Monday, so feel free to buy her drinks, or buy them for the whole team! Good Luck This Season Everybody!!! Don t Forget, We ll be watching You!!!

18 Kick Start my Heart 4 This week, Prick answers some fan mail Dear Prick, what s with Kick Start s horrible flip cup performance this week? Dear Prick, I m new to the league. Is there some sort of secret kickball language I should know? Dear Prick, I ve been watching the new season of the Real World. Is it me, or does one of the roommates look really familiar? Dear Prick, I heard you went to the World Cup. How was it? If you have a question for Prick, him at PrickStart@gmail.com Oh, and we beat Swampstains 4-2 this week. Dear Prick, what the hell are you? ONE NEEDLE! ONE TEAM! Swampstains 2 No Submission this Week

19 Living the Dream 1 Just like that rash in your nether-regions, Livin the Dream is back once again to give everyone that uncomfortable, itchy, and shameful feeling! Along with returning veterans Thurnher, Checkers, and Murphy, Livin the Dream has a fresh infusion of young and sexy talent this year, and they re already making an impact. For the first time since I ve been playing, we actually had more girls than guys show up to play, and that s OK with me! A word of warning: most of them are in law school, so beware of excessive litigation when negotiating an exchange of services at the bar Although we lost our kickball game, we had some moments of brilliance that proves we may just sneak up on a few teams this summer. Dreamer Ken I wear sunglasses at night because my future s so bright Malik in his second season showed his athleticism from the third base position making several key plays to keep us in the game. Everyone needs to take note of our rookie Brad Driscoll who made an incredible play at home plate to get a seemingly impossible out. He may be vertically challenged, but this kid is fast and likely to take a couple bases when y all aren t looking. Not to be overlooked, our mostly female outfield did an excellent job keeping their eyes on the balls and handling them with care. For some, this was their first encounter with balls of this magnitude so they were understandably nervous. Now that they have some experience, I think you ll see our defense tighten up a bit. be just good enough to crack the top ten, but need to improve for him to make it to the big show again. All-in-all this could be a breakout season for Livin the Dream, and we re lookin forward to some upsets and a whole lot of fun this summer! Week 2 Raffle Winner Kick In the Grass 6 No Submission this Week On to flip cup, and WHAT A SHOWING! In one of the best performances we ve had in team history, we swept the opposition in what can only be described as a beat-down with a high percentage of first-flip execution. For having never played together, I m extremely pleased with this group s performance and have high hopes for competing with the big dogs. Flip Cup prodigy David Muthaf#ckin Murphy had a decent showing in King of the Hill before losing in a flip-off to Sam. His skills seem to

20 Donkey Ballers 10 Finally... The DONK.. has come back to the LA Crescent Newsletter. know, it s only been one month since last season, but doesn t it seem a little longer? It seems much hotter now, and with the way week one of the summer season has unfolded, it looks like these aren t your mother s Donkey Ballers. As has been the case seemingly every season, there was a large amount of turnover from last season to this season. Actually, this season s turnover hasn t been as drastic as prior seasons, but the good news is that this year s new batch of recruits appears to be just what the Donkey need. Maybe it was the sloppy conditions, or perhaps the wet ball, but we managed to score more runs in week 1 than we did all of last season. The only problem with that is that we also gave up a lot of runs, ending with a tie against the formidable and fun team of Shake N Bake, who somehow managed to not over-bunt this week. People say ties are like kissing your sister, but after we held a large lead for most of the game, it seemed much worse. Despite that feeling, we really have to feel good about ourselves after the offensive onslaught what was sorely lacking last season. I think just about everybody reached base at least once, and our MVD of the game goes to Hal, who just absolutely murdered the ball (something you bunters know absolutely nothing about), and scored on one of the greatest home plate slides in WAKA history. I Don t mess with this donkey, who is already an early favorite to make the all-star team. Again, despite letting Shake N Bake back into the game, I have a feeling this season could finally be the one in which the Donkeys really make some noise and take down the established bunters and turn this league upside down. At the flip cup table, we weren t as fortunate. Shake N Bake was just too much to handle, and easily defeated our squad. The consolation is that since we believe in equal opportunity flipping, we threw a lot of rookies into the fire for week once, because we like to let them get their hands dirty right away and really learn and understand what flip cup was all about. We will continue to mix up the lineup, but now that the rookies have tasted the action, some of our veterans will once again step up to the table and show the rooks how it s done. Our goal is always to steadily build flipping skills and confidence as the season goes along, culminating with a formidable squad in the playoffs. One of our rookies. We always get them involved, unlike some other teams. So what will this season bring for the Ballers from Donkeytown? Only time will tell, but it looks like all our hard work and understanding of these games is finally paying off. We finally have a decent strategy for attacking the weak-minded bunting fools. How you live with yourselves is anyone s guess, but we leave everything out on the field, and will not sacrifice the Donkey way of life just because it s allowed in the rule books. This game is all about having fun, and that s the way we play, week in and week out. Elementary, my dear Donkeys.

21 D. Ballers cont. Shake & Bake - 10 Next week is Kick Start my Heart. The Donkeys will be looking for revenge against the Prick after last year s losses. No Submission This Week This just in to the Donkey news desk: According to multiple sources, including Chris Broussard and Ric Bucher, LeBron James will be ending years of speculation and circus by signing with the Donkey Ballers of the LA Crescent league. According to Broussard, he was heavily leaning toward either the Miami Heat or New York Knicks, but after the Donkeys 10 run outburst in week 1, LeBron had to seriously reconsider his options now that the Donkeys seem to have an offense in place that can maximize his skills. He will be making his official announcement tonight on ESPN, but at this point, all signs are pointing towards Donkeytown. King Donkey

22 Beastie Balls 6 Da Ballaholics 0 America F#ck Yeah!!!!!

23 WAKAffs 16 WEEK 1 KICK OFF As the team formerly known as Pitches Ain t $#it, it is now known as WAKAffs and if you re thinking Hey, it sounds like... then mission accomplished. With a revamped name, heavy recruiting, and redirected attitude, Wakaffs were well on their way to prove that change is good. Did it pay off? Well, let s see. Kick in the Balls did not even have a chance to score a run and we beat them by a whopping 16 points. FLIP OFF At Grit s, the top 5 Wakaffs battled against Kick in the Balls in the team round of flip cup Congrats to Pat, Laura, Nick, Teeny, and Chris for the beginning of an exciting and possible undefeated season of Flip Cup. As far as King of the Hill (KOTH) goes, Pat, Chris, and Dustin did not make it to the qualifying round. However, this is only the beginning. Here s a few highlights sponsored by mud: (mud noun. wet, soft, sticky earth) Tim D showed us how to doggy style into home plate Dustin G literally stole 2nd base to avoid being tagged out and wore the most mud on the team (get some cleats) Laura T (Captain) caught an impressive pop fly Jessica T first gal to score this season Travis J, Billy H impressive mudsliding catches Nick D pitched and caught all 3 outs in one inning; homerun Chris D impressive curveball Nathan S phenomenal powerkicks Pat M (Captain) only one on the team to have a smoke and/or beer in hand while kicking and still score twice! Donald H got tagged out but had a heroic muddy slide home Adam B nice bunting and base running To my fellow Wakaffians, 1. Bring some cash for weekly raffle for a $50 bar tab at Grits. All proceeds goes to charity for children with Cerebral Palsy. 2. FYI Grit s minimum bar tab is $20 so bring cash if you don t plan on hurting yourself Tuesday 3. Get cleats 4. Do some warm ups to avoid hurting your liver (see Pat for movements) 5. Study this, hard quiz next week: What do we like to do? WAKAFF! What do we do in the mornings? WAKAFF! What do we do in the evenings? WAKAFF! Who do we want to do? Your Sister! What do we do if we don t get her? WAKAFF! Kick in the Balls 0 Fielding a mostly rookie team, Kick In The Balls went into our inaugural summer 2010 game against the WAKAoffs with great enthusiasm. What we lacked perhaps in skill, we made up for in guts and stamina.

24 Kick in the Balls cont. Nothing would be more the truth as the game unfolded in the first inning with the WAKAoffs taking a commanding 6 0 lead. Little did we know that this would be one of their shorter scoring innings. Our offensive prowess was no less uninspiring, but I am proud to say we did make it through our entire line up at least once over the five innings. Although the final score was rather lopsided, our team carried our heads high, having learned what Kickball is really about.drinking and looking good. There were a number of highlights, however. Ryan s graceful back flop in front of the pitcher s mound; I am happy to report that my pride is nearly healed, maybe cleats would be a good idea. Liz s power slip near second base with the nearly completed force out was brilliantly executed. Phil s infield triple gave us something to aspire to. As a whole, our team made the wise decision to sacrifice plays in favor of sacrificing our field beers, had fun sloshing around in the mud, and laid the foundation for future success. Kick In The Balls has nowhere to go but up, so watch out.

25 Memphis Mafia 2 School is back in, boys and girls. What did you kiddies do on your summer vacation? Vacation Bible School? Make S mores? Well, the Memphis Mafia just used the time to let its legend build naturally, as it tends to do when time passes. Yes, we are back to display regal excellence and command relentless respect, as we are accustomed. For those who are new to the league, be advised that the Memphis Mafia has the most fun of any team in LA Crescent and probably more than those hose bags from Thursdays as well. We honor Elvis Aron Presley weekly and carry ourselves in his melodious image. Week in and week out, you ll feel our thunder and know we re there. We might not win every game, and considering that it s Adult Kickball, we are just fine with that. If you come up against the Mafia, you will be schooled on the important part of the kickball experience, and you ll have a ball as it happens. Take note, as you may try to be like us; you cannot be successful in this attempt, but we will still drink with you. Like I suspect is the case with most teams, the Mafia welcomes several new players this season, giving us a full roster. By season s end, inherently, the newbies will strut that badass strut, which can only come from their proper indoctrination. Many new ones played well and showed that they can get used to being venerated and revered. So first up for the Mafia was the truncated (especially the dudes) 99 Problems, whose name inexplicably, is suddenly easier to say. It was hard fought, tit for tat, wet, sloppy, dirty (like how Elvis preferred his sandwiches and groupies) but alas, 99 Problems gained the eventual advantage, quelling a late game rally by the Mafia and exacting revenge for the come from behind defeat the Mafia handed them last season. Final was 6 2, yet we felt the difference was two or three inconvenient errors. Aw well, they were fun to play, so that makes them aces in our book. bound to turn in flip cup, so I d advise not taking us too lightly. Next up is Red Blue Blur, featuring Tall Neil dareal deal on the mound, hurling his patented heater. I have a feeling that once the riddle is figured out well, don t make us spoil the surprise. Whether they show or not, we ll surely still see blurs that night. Take heed Blur, and start participating in the league. Time to quit mailing it in. Y all know that Superman took sloppy seconds from the King more than once. I ll wrap up with my Elvis quote of the week: Look guys, if you re just going to stare at me, I m going to bed! See y all at the fields!! TCB in a flash!! 99 Problems - 6 No Submission This Week Our losing streak at the tables was extended another week, yet we were encouraged by the outstanding play of our new additions. Our luck is

26 Balls on Top 8 Dear Fellow Monday Night Kick Ballers, Balls On Top is officially concerned with the mental and physical health of 99% of the league. Any person willing to do what we do on Monday night may have a few screws loose, or at the least, be a little slow. Therefore, we at the BOT camp will be giving multiple choice and true false quizzes each week to help everyone stay mentally healthy and balanced. Please read the directions carefully and NO cheating! Good luck class. MULTIPLE CHOICE: 1) Why was Andrew so late to kickball this week? a) The line at Starbuck s was all the way out the door b) Naked darts went into overtime c) Sean is a &$# d) The traffic back from Destin was insane 2) How many awesome new people does BOT have on our team this year? a) Zero, they are too anal to let any new people play b) One, Jacob (our new mascot) c) Two, Taco and Random Puma Guy from KSMH d) Nine, they are a completely new team, with awesome new people! 3) How much fun did we have playing Wasted Talent? 4) Who actually red hotted one of the beautiful girls of Wasted Talent in the face? a) Josh s right bicep b) Josh s left bicep c) Josh s ego d) Andrew (and he is very sorry!) 5) Where was Emily for flip cup? a) Learning chess cause she s bored with checkers. b) She was actually there dressed as Feder c) Sammie P has her locked in his basement d) None of the above 6) Why didn t Sammie P win QOTH? a) He was thinking of Heath locked in his basement b) He grew during the off season and was too excited to flip c) He shrunk and was to pissed to flip d) He got too hammered too fast TRUE/FALSE 1) Sean is a %$* 2) BOT won kickball 3) Sean is a Naughty Girl 4) BOT won flip cup 5) Sean is a %&* and a Naughty Girl 6) BOT qualified for QOTH 7) Sean loves pounding hole 8) All the answers are True Wasted Talent 2 No Submission This Week a) As much fun as you can have without hookers and blow b) As much fun as watching Sean throw his back out humping a washing machine c) We had Nothing But Fun! ;) d) All of the Above

27 Chocolate Salty Balls 2 Red Blue Blur 1 No Submission This Week No Submission This Week