From The Throne of the King

Transcription

1 WEEK 5

2 From The Throne of the King Another Monday; Another Success! We re heading into the final stretch of MNK and some of the best times are still ahead. Toga night is tonight and I m expecting all of you sons of bitches to show up in your finest. If you forgot to pick up your toga, just drop by the Wal-Mart on Tchoup for a cheap fix to your toga conundrum. Don t forget that we ll have a $5 Best Team Toga for the team that really blows us away. Photo booth will be available for the first part of the night.

3 I m also happy to announce that we ve received new koozies. We ll be running a combo deal just in time for Red Dress Run. Grab a beer sleeve and two koozies for $5. What a deal! See you tonight! Mike

4 DON T FORGET!

5 LA-Crescent VP Rant and Rave Week 5 Picking this pasts week Hot Mess of the Week was no easy After having to miss MNK for a week it was nice to see that nothing has changed! MNK was started very quickly and ended with most of us not really remembering a whole bunch. Let me recap the night for those of us who may not really remember everything that happened! The night started quickly and Neeb s face was the first target! Krista and Mark wasted no time! Heyyoo! And as always the shots started to flow! ABG was there of course!!! Erica got gangbanged!

6 UMMMM? Show us your moves Skeet! Krista learned how to fly! This is just awesome and disturbing at the same time! Viraj was very sober! USA USA USA Mr. #4 himself made an appearance!

7 Dana showed of her sweet dance moves! Erica never took off the KOTH belt! And the most drunk kickballer of the night Well I had to go and give it to myself for this week!

8 CHARITY Week 5 total: $578.2 Overall Total: $,98.24 AMAZING WEEK!!! Team participation was at a record high!! DON T FORGET: Bar Olympics Hosted by Ballompa Loompas Sunday, Aug 2 Shamrock Silent Auction Monday, Aug Grits See me at Charity corner if interested in donating items or participating in the Single Kickballer Auction. Support our charity & help the homeless in our community!!

9 MONDAY S SPECIAL Look hot while keeping your beverages cool for next week s RED DRESS RUN Beer sleeve and 2 koozies for only $5!! Includes one official LA Crescent -can insulated holder and two koozies

10 Week 5 Scores Winning I Just Blue Myself Don't Stop Ballieving Dancing Tryonii Da Ballaholics Donkey Ballers Kick Start My Heart Pyle Drivers Down to Forfeit Beastie Balls Not So Winning No Ugly Pitches Oh Danny Balls Shake & Bake Ballompaa Loompas Booze on First TMNT Big Floppy Kick Saved by the Balls Memphis Mafia Playedd Won by Winner Won by Loser 2 Standings Week 5 Place Team W L F Pyle Drivers 2 Beastie Balls No Ugly Pitches 4 I Just Blue Myself 4 Dancing Tryonii 6 Da Ballaholics 7 Big Floppy Kick 8 Down to Forfeit 9 Kick Start My Heart Don't Stop Ballieving Oh Danny Balls 2 Shake & Bake Donkey Ballers 4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 5 Ballompa Loompas 6 Memphis Mafia 6 Saved by the Balls 8 Booze on First RW RL RP Percentage % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % % %

11 5 th KOTH 4 th

12 rd 2 nd

13 KOTH Week 5 KOTH Standin ngs Pyle Drivers Da Ballaholics Beastie Balls Shake & Bake Dancing Tryonii Donkey Ballers Don't Stop Ballieving No Ugly Pitches I Just Blue Myself Booze on First Ballompa Loompas Big Floppy Kick Down to Forfeit Kick Start My Heart Memphis Mafia Oh Danny Balls Saved by the Balls Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

14 Assassins TJ (USA) Erica (S&B) Darren (USA) Joe (BB) Sean (PD) Lauren (DB) Jeff (DT) Chris (BB) **Bid for assassins at the charity pool tables!!**

15 RK (LW) Team REC Comment () OOhh DDaannnnyy BBaal lll llss 5-2 (2) PPyyl ll ee DDrri iivveerrss 5- () DDaa BBaal lll aahhool lli iiccss (6) BBeeaass tti iiee BBaal lll llss -- 5 (9) NNoo UUggl ll yy PPi iittcchheess -2 6 (4) II JJuuss tt BBl ll uuee MMyyss eel llff -2 7 (8) DDoonn tt SSttoo pp BBaal lll lli iieevvi iinngg 2-2- By Anon E. Moose Oh Danny Balls, the runs, the runs are scoring From field to field and up the scoreboard. ODB you re 2 runs away from scoring in 7 games. The bunnies gave you a tight game in week 5, KSMH are reeling from their loss, time to pounce. Week 6 versus the Fightin Bayside Jorts is really your only real test you have left this season. (Moose s Game of the Week) You sent the Mafia to sleep with da fishes, but never underestimate a bitter donkey. Huge Win for the Naked Chicks. You should cruise through week 6 setting uou up for a big showdown versus America to end the season. Gotta say, that was kind of a letdown. But you re ma boy, Blue!!! On the bright side, there s nothing like playing the Mafia after a tough loss. You ran into the buzzsaw that is ODB. But you need to shake it off, and rub some dirt on it, cause The Dancing Pink Ughs will be looking to kick you while you re down. 8 (2) SSaavveedd BByy tthhee BBaa lllss -2-2 Very impressive win, there s hope at Bayside High. 9 (5) DDoowwnn ttoo FF oorrffeei iitt -2 () DDaanncc iinngg i TTrryyoonni iii -2 Didn t see that coming did ya? Luckily, the only better than playing MM after a tough loss, is playing BOF. I still have no idea what to think. Give me something to Ballieve in this Week. (7) KKi iicckk SSttaarrtt MMyy HHeeaarrtt 2-2- More Kicking and Defending, Less Heroin and Groupies. 2 () BBi iigg FF ll looppppyy KKi iicckk 2- Way to play the Drivers tough, TMNT could be better than I thought, but you should get through them to get back to.5 () DDoonnkk eeyy BBaal lll lleerrss 2- This will be by far, your biggest test of the season. 4 (5) TTeeeennaaggee MMuuttaanntt NNi iinnj jaa TTuurrttl lleess Summer 22 Week 5 2- Can you Shred the Bunnies to get to.5? 5 (4) SShhaakkee aanndd BBaakkee -4 I m afraid field 4 is going to be like Chicago in (6) Balloompa Loompas -4 Still (Forfeit doesn t count) 7 (7) BBoooo zzee OOnn FF iirrsstt i -5 No 8 (8) MMeemmpphhi iiss MMaaffi iiaa -5 Wins

16 NO UGLY PITCHES WEEK #5 JULY, 22 This week Mondays met Thursdays as the Naked Chicks gathered with a few Douches for a little practice at Jefferson Playground. May I introduce team Sweaty People Holding Hands I also heard that some Naked Chicks beat ODB in volleyball? Hey hey! We ll take it. ;) Apparently we re a multi-talented team can t believe we don t have any Olympic qualifiers! If only ordering shots was a sport or apparently limbo, since we all know our team is stacked with minorities and after all, minorities are more flexible. Keep up the good (alcohol-soaked, sloppy) fun, y all ready to take on the Ballompa Loompas this week!

17 Surprise, We Lost again! So, with Week 6 being Toga Week, The King would like to give a shout out to one of his former lives from the 2 rd Century. Yes, it is true. Elvis Presley lived a previous rocking life wearing Togas 8 years ago in the Roman Empire. Don t believe me? Well, you be the judge: Modern Elvis: circa 956 Wooing all the Ladies Roman Elvis: circa -2 A.D. This is an acroterion (a kind of ornament, often found as decoration on the corners of sarcophagi, stone tombs, and burial chambers.) Antiquities specialist Georgiana Aitken noted: 'It bears an uncanny likeness to Elvis Presley. It's the hair that does it. You do some weird and wacky things at the corners of sarcophagi. 'I don't know what purpose they served and the coif was not a hairstyle of the day as far as I know.

18 Did DSB dress up? What Happens in Vegas... Edition Did DSB drink way too much?...of COURSE!...PROBABLY Did things get considerably inappropriate as the night progressed?...yes, INDEED :)

19 Things started getting pretty blurry after this point But you know what the say about what happens in Vegas... MVP Don t Stop Ballieving HAS to give this week s spotlight to one of our superb captains, Jenny! Not only did she make sure that, so far, we are the biggest threat to the unstoppable Oh Danny Balls!, but she ODB in an helped beat intense final flip off! To top things off, she helped everyone at the bar realize that glitter [DEFINITELY] is the herpes of craft supplies!!!!

20 DSB Scoreboard Kickball: 8- L Flip Cup: -2 w Next week s game: Don t Stop Ballieving Vs Dancing Tryonii 7: PM The theme of week five s game was, of course, inspired by the talented Oh Danny Balls! DSB had fun being put to the test by your team. We definitely have to give it up to the team because ODB is the real deal. On the bright side for DSB, we may have lost this week but...we still played better against ODB than all the other teams they have defeated this season. :)

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22 America!! Fuck Yea Week 5 Picking this pasts week Hot Mess of the Week was no easy Team USA continued it world domination at the Olympics, while the other Team USA dominated in kickball and flip cup! We figured team usa was winning enough gold medals overseas that it was time to win some of our own! We won kickball, team flip cup, and placed to Ballaholics in the top 5 in KOTH! Not a bad night for USA I d say! Feder got really excited! USA USA USA

23 Viraj decided not to drink at the bar! And Frank the Tank did what Frank the Tank Does! USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA! And for the record team USA loves to Bunt! Suck it!