From the Desk of the President

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2 Spring 2012 GMOT Newsletter Week 4 From the Desk of the President Mike Big Sweets Morris The bitch is back! MNK finally found good weather and we took full advantage. There was plenty of action on the fields as well as the tables. As President, nothing makes me prouder than to see my board members lead by example, and Erica Martin raged with the best of them! The ladies took 3 more spots in KOTH, leaving Mark to finally live out his fantasy of being with 3 chicks at once. Don t worry if you re team hasn t placed, you ve got plenty of time and we should be seeing our first Assassins soon. MNK proved once again that we love old people. You guys donated a whopping $488 this week! We re only half way through the season and we re on pace for a record year in charity. Great job MNK! I had the pleasure of reffing a nail biter last week. Of course one team was a little unhappy with my reffing skills. But Mike, how do you know they. KICKBALL SCORES WEEK 4 FLIPCUP SCORES WEEK 4 SCORE TEAM VS TEAM SCORE SCORE TEAM VS TEAM SCORE ` Da Ballaholics Popeye's Fried Kickin 6 Da Ballaholics Popeye's Fried Kickin Problems Donkey Ballers Problems Donkey Ballers 16 Saved by the Balls Booze on First 0 Saved by the Balls Booze on First 19 Beastie Balls No Ugly Pitches 0 Beastie Balls No Ugly Pitches 4 99 Problems Ballocalypse Now 3 99 Problems Ballocalypse Now 3 Heart Mongers Kick Start My Heart 2 Heart Mongers Kick Start My Heart 5 Oh Danny Balls Shake and Bake 1 Oh Danny Balls Shake and Bake 4 Oily Birds Smack My Pitch Up 2 Oily Birds Smack My Pitch Up 10 Memphis Mafia Big Floppy Kick 0 Memphis Mafia Big Floppy Kick 4 Dancing Triyonii Keep Deez Balls OYM 3 Dancing Triyonii Keep Deez Balls OYM

3 were unhappy? Well, I m glad you asked. Like a roommate who wants you to do the dishes, but is too afraid to ask, there was a lot of mumbling. Phrases like, What a shitty call and This ref sucks. So to help the team, I ve ordered them all a pair of truck nuts which they can put on their roller skates if they feel so inclined. REMINDER This Tuesday, May 1, we ll be making up the missed games from Week 1. That's right, you'll have Monday night kickball AND Tuesday kickball! All games will remain on the same fields as designated on the week 1 schedule EXCEPT for the Grit's game. That game will be played at Audubon on the field to the right (facing the zoo) of the main field. Flip cup/koh will follow at Grit's. Teams that had week 1 field holding duty DO NOT have to hold the fields. We have some volunteers handling that.

4 PS In case you missed it (no Photoshop required) See you guys Monday! Big Sweets

5 Kickball Standings Week 4

6 SCHEDULE WEEK 5 Fields at Audubon Park Grit's Field

7 By Anon E. Moose RK (LW) Team REC Comment 1(1) BBeeaa sstt iiee i BBaal lll llss (2) Ohh DDaa nn nnyy BB aal lll llss (3) DDaanncc ii inngg TTrryyoo nni iii (6) Daa BBaal llaahhool liccss (9) Oily Birds (12) 7 (5) 8 (4) 9 (13) 10 (14) PPrroobbl lleemss BBTTi iinnoo11 KKeeeepp DDeeeezz BBaal lll llss OYYM PPoo ppeeyy ee ss FFrri iieedd KKi iicc kki iinn SSaavveedd BByy tthhee BBaal lll llss KKi iicckk SSttaarrtt Myy Heeaarrtt 2-0-F F 2-0-F 11 (7) DDoo nnkkeeyy BBaal lll lleerrss (17) PPrroo bbl lleemss That s exactly 2 miles of base running for just the scores alone. The crushing continues. The pants off division looks like an easier trip to remain undefeated, 1 st could be in your future if the Beasties stumble. (But don t get your hopes up) Surprise of the season so far. Looking better than Deuce in sparkly hot pants, and the Moose didn t think that was possible. Lee Greenwood is smiling somewhere, and he s probably not even sure why. The Birds are getting some momentum. Maybe raw petrochemicals work like radiation did in the comic books from the 50s and 60s. Mafia up next, so you should be 3-1, but Tuesday brings the ODB, you better hope your superpowers are fully kicked in by Tuesday. Monday and Tuesday bring Booze and NUP. If you hadn t forfeited in week 2, you would easily be 5-0 on Wednesday. Lost a close one to the Pink Ughs. ODB on Monday, you could shake it all up with an upset. Can you steep your teabags? Like I said last week, America loves them some deep fried anything. But you get two sides of easy peasy on Monday and Tuesday. Here s your chance to regain your momentum. 16-0? Did Zach use his Time Out superpower? I m still wary; barely beating the mongers in the Battle of the Hearts is not so impressive. But I m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Could the inevitable end of season collapse be starting early this season? The Moose thinks no, because you should stroll to Donkeytown with two more wins after next week s double header. Tough road to ho, but if spit the double header, the rest of your season looks pretty smooth ahead.

8 13 (10) 14 (8) SShhaakkee aanndd BBaakkee Noo UUggl llyy PPi iittcchheess (16) BBi iigg FFl lloo pp ppyy KKi iicckk (11) Meempp hhi iiss Maaffi iiaa 1-2 With the return of Big Rob, and a fairly easy line up next week, you could get back over.500. The Beastie Train just crushed you. Next time, go with Naked Chicks over Catholic School Girls. With your tough schedule next week, please try the Moose s advice. If anything, they ll be the most watched games, hands down. Your first win, but beating the Mafia doesn t prove to the Moose this team isn t still flaccid. Back to Reality. Try a Little Less Sucking, Little More Scoring Please. 17 (15) BBoooozzee Onn FFi iirrsstt 0-3 I think you guys spelled Lose wrong. 18 (18) 19 (19) SSmaacckk Myy PPi iittcchheess UUpp BBaal lll lloo cc aayyl llppssee Nooww 0-3 Not getting any easier anytime soon. 0-3 Those one run losses are brutal. 20 (20) Heeaarrtt Moonnggeerrss 0-2-F Just start drinking early and often. Anon E. Moose

9 TJ Captain America Natal LA Crescent Hot Mess of the Week LA-Crescent Hot Mess of the Week Week 4 Special Edition! Picking this pasts week Hot Mess of the Week was no easy For this past week I wanted to highlight the great umping skills of our high and mighty President Mike Morris. There are a few rules that Mike may need some touching up on, but hey overall on Monday you did an AWFUL job Congrats! I m not exactly sure what Mike was thinking about during the game, but we can be sure that it was not the game which was shown by his great eye at the home plate. Usually, when there is a play at home plate, the home plate ump makes the call. On Monday, Mike thought it was a good idea to make a call of out and then check with his first base ump. Upon the 1 st base up saying they didn t see the play, Mike then decided to call the play safe. Hmmmmm..?

10 Dear Mike, That is not a sword, and be careful you could poke someone s eye out with that thing! But Mike does look extremely happy to have that in his hand! Here someone challenged Mike to see how many licks it took to get to the center. So Mike how many licks does it take? Dear Mike, As the president of LA-Crescent it might be a good idea to at least know a few of the rules in kickball. Especially the one where when a team hits a player with the ball it s called a red hot and they are out. I know the whole safe and out thing is confusing but you can do it!

11 As your VP I wanted to leave you with a pic that always cheers me up. It s kind of like the equivalent of seeing a rainbow, if that rainbow was made out of asses!

12 Charity Corner Kelly Touchy Week 4 total: $ Overall total: $2, Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week Week Week Week Total Race for the Keg $ $ $ $ $1, Raffle $12.00 $15.00 $17.00 $37.00 $81.00 T-Shirts $10.00 $10.00 $20.00 Koozies $9.00 $5.66 $11.53 $12.00 $38.19 Street Car Guide $0.00 Assassin Auction $0.00 Luau $ $ Auctions $0.00 Totals: $ $ $ $ $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 Season Total: $2, Words cannot express how INCREDIBLE & GENEROUS you are this season!!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! STAY TUNED for upcoming opportunities to personally help out and see first-hand how our donations will help the N.O. Council for the Aging!!

13 A Few Reminders: So easy to donate even Sean can do it! Raffle tickets $1 each!! 50/50 drawing at end of season for bar tab!! For sale at bar and online at /

14 Your beer looks naked without an official LA Crescent Kickball Koozie! $3 each for sale at bar or online at m/ Silent auction planned for week 7 or 8. If you have items to donate please contact me kelly.touchy@gmail.com or come see me on Monday!! RACE FOR THE KEG TOTALS ALWAYS POSTED ON OUR LEAGUE WEB PAGE, BUT HERE YOU GO!!

15 TEAM Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4 Week 5 Week 6 Week 7 Week 8 Total 99 Problems BAPA1 $ $88.62 $ $ $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $ No Ugly Pitches $66.12 $92.72 $85.72 $ $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $ Beastie Balls $63.00 $94.00 $33.00 $22.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $ Memphis Mafia $38.00 $56.00 $45.00 $50.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $ Problems BTino1 $96.80 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $96.80 Da Ballaholics $0.00 $0.00 $88.50 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $88.50 Dancing Tryonii $5.77 $16.00 $23.50 $26.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $71.27 Big Floppy Kick $0.00 $0.00 $23.00 $36.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $59.00 Shake & Bake $26.00 $0.00 $18.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $44.00 Booze on First $0.00 $0.00 $33.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $33.00 Saved by the Balls $0.00 $0.00 $9.94 $17.32 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $27.26 Donkey Ballers $0.00 $5.00 $20.00 $1.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $26.00 Kick Start My Heart $9.50 $16.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $25.50 Oily Birds $0.00 $6.00 $0.00 $16.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $22.00 Keep Deez Balls OYM $0.00 $8.00 $0.00 $10.50 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $18.50 Ballocalypse Now $0.00 $16.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $16.00 Oh Danny Balls $0.00 $9.66 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $9.66 Smack My Pitch Up $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $9.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $9.00 Heart Mongers $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 Popeye's Fried Kickin $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 Totals: $ $ $ $ $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00 Season Total: $1, THANKS FOR CONTINUING TO HELP OUT THE NEW ORLEANS COUNCIL ON AGING!!

16 Erica WhoDat Martin & Moe Regnier Flip Cup Here are your week 4 Flip Cup scores and standings Winning Not So Winning Played Won by Winner Won by Loser Da Ballaholics Popeye's Fried Kickin Problems Btino A1 Donkey Ballers Saved by the Balls Booze on First Beastie Balls No Ugly Pitches Problems BAPA1 Ballocalypse Now Kick Start My Heart Heart Mongers Shake & Bake Oh Danny Balls Smack My Pitch Up Oily Birds Big Floppy Kick Memphis Mafia Dancing Tryonii Keep Deez Balls OYM Place Team Wins Losses Forfeits Rounds Won Rounds Lost Rounds Played Percentage 1 Beastie Balls % 1 Dancing Tryonii % 3 Da Ballaholics % 4 Smack My Pitch Up % 5 Big Floppy Kick % 6 Kick Start My Heart % 7 No Ugly Pitches % Problems % 8 Shake & Bake % 10 Oh Danny Balls % 10 Popeye's Fried Kickin % 12 Ballocalypse Now % 12 KDBOM, LLC % 14 Booze on First % Problems % 16 Saved by the Balls % 17 Donkey Ballers % 17 Memphis Mafia % 19 Heart Mongers % 19 Oily Birds %

17 Week 4 KOTH Winners 1st 2nd 3rd 4th Mark (Beastie Balls) Joanna (Dancing Triyonii) Eric (Shake & Bake) Adrienne (USA) Total KOTH Spots Shake & Bake 4 Dancing Tryonii Problems Btino A1 2 No Ugly Pitches 1 Beastie Balls 1 Da Ballaholics 1 99 Problems BAPA1 0 Ballocalypse Now 0 Big Floppy Kick 0 Booze on First 0 Donkey Ballers 0 Heart Mongers 0 Keep Deez Balls OYM 0 Kick Start My Heart 0 Memphis Mafia 0 Oh Danny Balls 0 Oily Birds 0 Popeye's Fried Kickin 0 Saved by the Balls 0 Smack My Pitch Up 0

18 By Anon E. Mouse RK (LW) Team REC Comment 1 BBeeaa sstt iiee i BBaal lll llss 3-0 Flip cup went well for you this week! Finally popped the cherry on a KOTH spot and finally played a top team and easily defeated them. It s a see-saw battle at the top spot between you and those Dancing Triyonii but the KOTH outcome declared who was the better team this week. 2 DDaanncc ii inn TTrri iiyyoo nni iii 3-0 You kept the balls out cha mouth and secured yet another spot in KOTH. The KOTH final 2 was definitely a matchup that will fuel this flip cup faceoff to the playoffs. 3 Daa BBaal llaahhool liccss 3-0 Another good effort at the tables, America! I d like to see you move up but it s tough when Beastie and the Triyonii haven t given up a round yet. 4 SShhaakkee aanndd BBaakkee 2-1 I m glad to see you shook off last week s loss and got a much needed win against a solid ODB team! 5 Noo UUggl llyy PPi iittcchheess 2-1 A real test this past week and sadly the grade is fail. The good news is I still think you re a solid team! PPrroobbl lleemss BBTTi iinnoo A win is a win team! Although I m surprised Donkey took 2 rounds from under you! 7 Ohh DDaannnnyy BBaal lll llss 2-1 Losing does not taste good but alcohol does. Drink it off this week and come back strong next week ODB. 8 KKi iicckk SSttaarrtt Myy Heeaarrtt 2-1 Yea you won.by default..but that doesn t stop Big Sweets. El presidente Dolce Grande.this is your league and America is only playin in it! FUCK YEAH!

19 9 BBi iigg FFl lloo pp ppyy KKi iicckk 2-1 Good job getting your second win this season but the King is not happy PPrroobbl lleemss 1-2 Struggling this season, 99! You managed to finally get that W now get your act back on track! O-lay! 11 PPoo ppeeyy ee ss FFrri iieedd KKi iicc kki iinn 1-2 Nothing says America like popeye s chicken so you guys got devoured on the flipcup table. Sorry. Damn I m hungry right now. 12 KKeeee pp DD eeeezz BBaal lll llss OYYM 1-2 Step 1) Take Balls Out of Mouth Step 2) Insert dancing Triyonii foot Step 3) Lose at flip cup. 13 SSaavveedd BByy tthhee BBaal lll llss 1-2 Congrats on your first flipcup victory! Now that you got your taste of victory let s get some more! 14 BBaal lll lloo cc aayyl llppssee Nooww 1-2 Shake that loss off. You took a veteran team to 5 rounds and hung in there! Better luck next week! 15 BBoooozzee Onn FFi iirrsstt 1-2 I think you put a little too much beer in your cup and forgot there was a game going on! Get on it! 16 SSmaacckk Myy PPi iittcchheess UUpp 0-2 Not off to a good start this season 99. This makes the Mouse sad. So sad o so sad. Better luck next week though! O-lay! 17 DDoonnkkeeyy BBaal lll lleerrss 0-2 Back to back losses at the flip cup table sadden the Mouse. If the Mouse is sad.the King is sad and if the King is sad well I don t know maybe he d eat more peanut-butter-banana-bacon sandwiches. 18(17) Meempp hhi iiss Maaffi iiaa 0-2 The balls didn t save you this week team. Don t be disheartened by another loss- keep flippin!

20 19(17) Oily Birds this week team. Don t be disheartened by another loss- keep flippin! nnoott sshhoowwi ii nngg uu pp ffoo rr ffl lli iippcc uupp aatt tthh ee bbaarr aaggaai iinn??!!!??!!!??!!!??! 20(17) Heeaarrtt Moonnggeerrss \\ \\ // \\ // //,,========== \\ \\// \\// // ========== \\ //\\ //

21 Editor's Braindroppings Michelle Must be this tall to ball Hanks I would like to continue to thank the handful of teams that send entries in every week. You provide everyone Monday morning entertainment and well, in general, do not suck. For the rest of you, I would like to bring your attention to a situation that has been escalating over the past couple weeks. When asked about his bruises, Sean continues to claim that he s just clumsy and has been running into things lately. We at Crescent news felt it our obligation to investigate this matter further. Thanks to Ross, we now have solid photographic proof that every time you forget to send in an entry for the newsletter Mike goes ballistic on Sean. Only your team can stop the violence! Remember, send your entries to lacrescentnews@gmail.com.

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23 BIG FLOPPY ` KICK

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28 The Triyonii danced away from week 4 once again victorious. KDBOYM proved to be a worthy adversary, holding DT to 3-2 till the bottom of the 5 th inning. Stakes were high, blood pressure rising and everything hung in the balance but in the end DT pulled off 2 runs to end the game at 4-3 DT exhibited another game of flip cup perfection at the tables. With a score of 3-0 for week 4, DT remains undefeated on and off the field. What will these crazy Yonii s do next!

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30 If History holds serve, we will win another game sometime in Spring 2014

31 But in Happier News, the Memphis Mafia would like to extend heartfelt Congratulations to Newly Wed Mafioso s Jim and Emily on their Nuptials, who tied the knot last Saturday the 21 st!!!

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