GMOT: Week 5. October 1, 2009 Vol. 1, Issue 3

Transcription

1 GMOT: Week 5 October 1, 2009 Vol. 1, Issue 3 Happy Thursday everyone! Welcome to October and another edition of Ghost Man on Third. Sorry that GMOT was a little late this week. I blame the power outage at work that only took out computers and space heaters. I d like to start out with a HUGE thank you and a major awarding of gold stars to all of you who submitted write-ups (and even photos from two of you!) this week. We have a jam-packed issue full of goodies thanks to you. Keep up the good work! Things to look forward to in this issue: -State of the Union address from our Prez -some details on the End of Season Party -a photo collage! -general shenanigans See you on the field and at the flip cup tables! And don t forget to tip your Exchange waiter/waitress. Love, Your GMOT Editor

2 Presidential Address Fellow DC Empire Kickballers, I want to first and foremost let you all know how much I appreciate you guys showing up to the Mid-Season Party last Friday night. We had a great turnout and it seemed like everyone was having a great time! But the best thing about it is all of the proceeds from the door went to Children's National Medical Center, so everyone who came helped out the kids! Go ahead, pat yourself on the back; whether you like it or not, you have an ounce of generosity in you (even if rooted in the selfish desire for cheap alcohol and debauchery). On a serious note for kickball itself, as you should know, all games have been moved up 15 minutes as of last week; thus times are now 6:15 and 7 p.m. Due to the impending darkness each week for the late games, all teams need to make sure that they are there and prepared to start their games no later than five minutes after the scheduled start time. Remember, all that you need to start the game is 8 players on each side 4 guys and 4 girls. You can start the game and when people show up as the game progresses you can insert them into the game. Please do not wait to start the game if you have the necessary 8 players (made up of at least 4 girls and 4 guys) to ensure that all games are played with the most amount of light possible. PLEASE START YOUR GAME ON TIME!!! Enough of that though. We are now past the halfway point in the season. Everyone make sure to get write-ups into Erin for GMOT, or she will harass you nonstop. Also, the End of Season Party is scheduled for the night of the Kickball Tournament, Saturday, October 24. It will be held at Kelly's Irish Times. More details to follow. Hope to see you all tonight for another Thursday of adults playing a child's game and thirsty Thursday on the Pitcher Patio! 'Til next time, Prez Charles Owens

3 OK, so call us a little slow, but we finally figured out that with a little bit of liquid courage, this game of kickball can actually be won. And yes, blue team, fair and square even though you acknowledged BEFORE the game started (late waiting for your players) that you would be forfeiting if enough girls didn t show up by the time we kicked at the bottom of the first inning and this is AFTER conceding home field advantage to us that you had previously won in the rock-paperscissors match between the captains in hopes that it would buy you some time. That s right; despite having our doubleheader, we weren t drunk yet so we do remember :) Do you really think we would ve left in the middle of an inning down 3-1 when we were up to kick if we weren t already under the impression that the game was over? However, we do understand that some of you are interested in challenging us on the flip cup table and while we do gladly accept that challenge, you may want to check our record before you feel any sort of pride or retribution in beating us I m just sayin. With a quick 1-0 lead in the top of the first for the green team, it appeared that it was going to be status-quo for pink. Another day, another loss where we would insist that we are only here to have fun and drink oh wait, but we are here to have fun and drink, but a win every once in awhile is good for the ego. It may have taken us 5 weeks, but we finally seemed to gel and just about every single one of our 14 players made foot-to-ball contact at some point during the game! Fortunately there were no football tackles in this game just a lot of great kicking and awesome base-running that culminated in a 7-1 win for pink when the game was called for darkness in the middle of the 4 th by the refs. This win also did a lot for our team camaraderie and as we walked to the bar, we had an unusual pep in our step while conversations of a possible flip cup victory to follow up an impressive kickball victory ran rampant. However, we quickly found out that while (drinking during game) may= (kickball win), (drinking during game) + (kickball win)!= (flip cup win). (BTW, for those lucky people out there who DON T work with SQL,!= means not equal to.) The green team shot out to a quick 3-0 lead, thus giving them the win, but pink was determined not to drop all 5 and came back strong, winning both of the last two games before playing Survivor flip cup. We would like to congratulate Scott (pink) and Lindsay (green) for making it to the finals and especially to Lindsay for winning it all! Great job guys! All-in-all, we learned a lot this week and we had a great time playing the green team on and off the field. The Double Header For Pistachio Bashio, the first four weeks of the Fall kickball season culminated in the fifth week of the Fall kickball season. By dominating the competition to this point, Pistachio set the stage for a clash of the DC Empire titans. With a combined record of 8-0, GSA Ballers and Pistachio Bashio would face off with mid-season supremacy on the line. The hype for this game was off the charts, at least in the minds of Pistachio. The Ballers probably weren t even aware that both teams were undefeated, but this did not in any way hamper Pistachio from talking massive amounts of shit at the bar each week leading up to the game. Unfortunately, unless you are a big fan of defensive excellence, the game did not live up to the billing. Each inning had pretty much the same result. Three kickers up, three kickers down, switch, repeat. A final score of 0-0 left Empire league dominance still very much in question.that is until Pistachio played game two of its double header. Alcohol is a funny thing. Typically Pistachio s strategy of bringing two handles of rum and shotgunning beers before and after every game works out perfectly. The team is sober enough to make it through the game with some semblance of ability, but once it s over, the drunkenness really kicks in and puts the team in the appropriate mood to rage at the bar. Obviously, Pistachio was not going to abandon its winning strategy before the biggest of the year.

4 Essentially, the win was gift wrapped for the Ballsy Kickers before the game even started. Several Pistachio players could barely walk, let alone see well enough in the dark to make any defensive plays or kick a ball. Final score: Feeling the letdown of the day s kickball events, Pistachio had its tamest bar showing of the year as is evidenced by the fact that zero modifications were made to Pistachio colored jerseys. The team did manage to somewhat avenge its tie to the GSA Ballers by beating them handily in flip cup (4-1), but everyone knows glory comes on the kickball field, not on the flip cup table. Redemption Pistachio Bashio s disappointment didn t last long. The team set out to rectify Thursday night s failures with an epic performance at the Mid-Season party the following evening. A pregame hosted by two lovely Pistachio ladies involved power hours, shots of warm rum, and sacks of rose wine all before 7 p.m. By the time the team made it to the bar, the ability to form new memories was in great danger. Poor decisions in the form of inappropriately early dance parties, popcorn showers, buying drinks that were not $1 Miller Lites, and at-bar hookups were abound. The highlight of the evening was when members of team came across none other than the question mark suit-sporting Matthew Lesko. What the fuck he was doing in Adams Morgan, we have no idea. Nobody on the team really knows how the night ended, but no less than three of us woke up in very uncomfortable situations, in very unfamiliar places. Snot may be gross when it's yellow, but it is poisonous, dangerous and flat out DIRTY when it s Pistachio. After a couple discouraging games and no wins for the Ballsy Kickers, the team finally decided to come out and play last Thursday and gave Pistachio THEIR FIRST LOSS! The winning did not stop there, as the Ballsy Kickers continued to demolish Pistachio on the flip cup table as well. It was a pretty good time. As the sun set last Thursday night (really freaking early!!!) on us kickballers, the sun has also set for Pistachio s winning streak. GSA Ballers played Pistachio Bashio in a top seeded match up on Thursday. Both teams being undefeated, we were ready to throw down. Jello shots and beer were flowing for GSA Ballers and excitement was high. Our team was back in full force after half were taken out by the flu the week before. Alas, it was the world's most boring game that ended in a 0-0 tie. How can a kickball game end in a tie? Your guess is as good as mine... Still in good spirits GSA Ballers headed to the bar and staked out our usual spot inside at the bar. After many pitchers of beer to set the mood, we headed outside to play Pistachio in flip cup. Despite a Pistachio team member's attempt to sweet talk one of our beautiful ladies and gain a flip cup spot on our team, he was quickly booted off of the table and the games resumed. We won one game, but lost the series 3-1 or something like that. The only thing you need to know is we are ready to kick your ass next week. You will see us at the bar, engaging in an old fashioned game of pantsing eachother, taking shots at the bar with the owners and other old men and ladies, trying to take the owner home, and dancing our asses off once the DJ finally decides to play some tunes. See you all next week!

5 This week posed a meeting of two flip cup giants, Sonsapitches and Booze on First, both of which entered the week undefeated in flip cup, can't say the same for kickball standings. Coming off our best game ever, we were excited to hit the field of battle and prove to ourselves that it wasn't just a one time fluke occurence. After the first inning, we realized that this was going to be more of a defensive battle than an explosion of offense. I had been drinking since arriving to ref the first game and had also provided a couple of adult sodas for my fellow refs, hoping the taste of the all important alcohol would help loosen up a few key players...apparently this wasn't to be the case. As the night continued on into the 2nd inning, it became increasingly darker and darker, perhaps foreshadowing the opportunity we had to win the game. We had pulled it to within 1 run and had one player on 1st with 2 outs. Up walks one of our star players, the J-Man, Jarrett. Having played D-1 soccer at Clemson, we all know that the man has a potentially lethal foot on him. His first kick was a beautiful corkscrewing line drive down the 1st base line, that just barely went foul. Had that kick stayed in fair territory, we would have scored two. But alas, his next kick was a light pop up to the short stop, summarily ending the game. 3-2 was the final score, with Booze on First coming out the victor. Moving to the important time of the night, Flip Cup. When we arrived at the pitcher patio of the Exchange, we had one thing and one thing only on our mind, WIN! Per tradition, we started up our flip cup tryouts that occur every week. We got down to where there were about 7 equally gifted players who were feeling the flip, making the decision that much more difficult. Eventually, we moved on over to the table to challenge the Booze on First crew to some intense flipping. For the record, we did have a new face on our flip cup five that night, and she performed very well. Also, The Cleve was on the team, flipping his brains out. The first round ended with a Booze on First win, but very close, down to which cup landed completely first. Second round went to us, Sonsapitches, in a less close fashion. However, the next two games, we had issues one-flipping and thus lost to Booze on First consecutively, to officially lose the night. We did however salvage some pride by winning the 5th and final game, securing a 3-2 loss in both Kickball and Flip Cup, taking away our undefeated hopes and dreams for the regular season. However, we are not deterred and are still planning on coming into this week hungrier than ever for a W on both the kickball field and the flip cup table. If we can beat One Ball, etc...then we could be tied for 1st place in flip cup, if Booze on First can get a loss put on them. In any case, Erin, I've got your number still as far as flipping cups goes, so bring it!! So in our continuing effort to pull back to.500 in kickball, Booze on First approached the game against the Black team with equal parts determination and beer-induced haze. By the time the game began, the sun was already well on its way to the horizon, leaving us with the prospect of a short game. Knowing this, we set to scoring from the outset, putting up three runs in two innings. Black came tearing back, scoring twice. Unfortunately, darkness caught up with us, and the game had to be called in the third inning, ending it 3-2 (two wins in a row!). We then continued on to the bar, where we matched up against the Black team in flip cup. They insisted on 5-on-5, forcing us to only play our A+ team again. We did so, and handily took another flip cup match, keeping us batting for the season. I am proud of our team's dedication to a drinking game that most people stopped playing after sophomore year of college. I'd like to end this write up by beseeching my team (and other teams) to do more things worth writing about. Last season I had plenty of dirt on a weekly basis for extremely entertaining write-ups. Whether it be late night run ins with homeless people, police, etc., or finally hooking up with that dreamy guy on [insert team here], I usually had ample material for embarrassing write-ups. This season, not so much. So, next week, DC Empire, bring the fun, get a little drunk, and make some bad decisions.

6 Finally a week where we start the game in daylight. With nearly a full roster (Senator Gillibrand needs to lighten up a little she keeps stealing some of our valuable team members just sayin ), the Blue Balls marched out early for a matchup with the Jiminy Kick Its. In what was clearly a defensive showdown, the first three innings passed by scoreless. Then the floodgates opened. The Balls were able to tally one in the top of the fourth when Kat grounded out to first base and Heath was able to score from second with some overly aggressive base running and a kickass slide to home. Unfortunately, that s where the fun ended for the Blue Balls. That same inning, team JKI s hits just kept finding the grass, as player after player rounded the bases. After giving up five runs, the inning mercifully came to an end. And 5-1 is how the game would end, as the Balls failed to score another run. After back to back losses, it looks as though the captain of these Balls is on the hot-seat. Afterward, all save three trudged off to The Exchange to drown their sorrows, and drunkify themselves in preparation of flip cup. The other three manned up and delayed drunktown by staying to ref/watch the pink team demolish one of the green teams (OK, seriously, do we have enough green teams in this league? Maybe we should add one or two more). Shout out to the pink team for providing sweet Jello shots to us refs this week (although we re still hurting from the retroactive forfeit, this is a good start to make up for it). Flip cup was over before it even started this week. The Balls won infinity to zero. Sure, it was a forfeit, but we ll take it. JKI had to bail for some birthday party for their friend. Psh, yeah right, they were just shakin in their boots. We know better. So, the Balls were left to play with themselves. Zach won his second team survivor game in a row, proving once again his flip cup acumen. The following games were dominated by team awesome, with Dave showing everyone his unmentionables (get your mind out of the gutter, he took his shirt off) after every win. Subsequently, the team challenged team Yellow once again. In a showing of flip cup majesty, the Balls schooled once again as one by one, Yellow shirts dropped off like flies, leaving Blue playing amongst themselves once more. Still, team Yellow rocks. Special props to Mike of Yellow, last man standing against Blue and noble opponent. Then, with possibly the highlight of the night, waiter Ahmed ambled over again with his two pitchers of beer and a hefty challenge. TWENTY-SIX CUPS, ARE YOU INSANE? It was Ahmed lined up in the gauntlet against 13 Balls team members, who were each flipping two cups. In a throwdown so epic it resembled that awesome end scene in 300, Ahmed lost by one cup. Then that cool kid Zane from team Pistachio came over and joined up with Ahmed to beat team Balls in a rematch. Very impressive kids, very impressive. Can t wait for next week! Bring it on Sonsapitches. And while it can be hard to beat a good Thursday night, this week all kickballers had something to look forward to on Friday...Mid-Season Party! The thing was a huge success. Major props to the organizers. The Balls came out dressed up to get messed up, and didn't disappoint. Things we learned: the Pistachio team wastes no time when it comes to partying (pretty sure they were hammered by 8:30, as indicated by their crazy dance floor antics, which is just impressive), Erin can hold 10 beers at a time without dropping them, and Jumbo Slice pales in comparison to Alberto's pizza. We also have to say that $1 beers are THE best thing ever. The Balls team was double fisting the entire evening; no hand went free. Another lesson learned, however, is that a challenge of drinking 2 beers at the same time 4 times in a row is probably not a wise life decision. We did get a great look from the bartender though when we ambled up and ordered 10 beers as the $1 prices were about to run out.

7 Kickball Standings: Flip Cup Standings: Lessons Learned: -Eating a Chipotle burrito right before the game will keep you from getting drunk, no matter how hard you try or how many games of flip cup you play. You decide whether this is a good or a bad thing. -Whatever marker you are using, chances are it will not come off of skin as easily as you assume. Think of this before scrawling workinappropriate words across yourself or your teammates. -Do not underestimate the flip cup prowess of your waiter. **What have you learned from too much beer on a Thursday night? Submit your lessons learned to GMOT at efults@gmail.com.** Notes from JD, Kickball Captain Emeritus: Rules to Post-Kickball Success Get adrenaline flowing from playing kickball. Do not eat dinner. Drink copious amounts of beer. Do not care what others think. If you go home by yourself, attempt to make some sort of pizza product. If you do not go home by yourself, do everything possible to blow it, but still come out on top.

8 Party time! WAKA